CHAPTER VI.

“See, arm’d with great authority, they come,And with great names and numbers strike us dumb;Reason and common sense to names must fall,And strength of argument’s no strength at all.”—Dodsley.

I willnow produce a few specimens of Puffing Advertisements, which will show how sounding words are senselessly strung together to give an air of importance to their originators, and leave my readers to judge for themselves how far the public ought to be influenced by them. The orthography (?) of these puffs is, in every way worthy of the authors of them. They are givenpure.

PUFF, No. 1.

Improved Eye Preservers, patronized by the Faculty of the Eye Infirmaries for Cataract, and other improved glasses.Mr. —— optician to the Queen,[12]Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Kent, &c. sole Inventor of Optical Glasses, ground and shaded on the Exact[13]Principle. Mr. —— has been for twenty-five years a manufacturer, who has devoted his study with time to bring this branch to perfection. Mr. —— has been earnestly solicited to pay a short visit for a limited period. He has the honour to announce his arrival from the London, Bristol, and Edinburgh Optical Establishments.Spectacles for far and near distances, for those who have a full eye, ground in a peculiar manner.Sight is often abused by inexperienced persons taking upon themselves the impracticable task of assisting it.The Improved Spectacles, and other glasses, made by Mr. —— on the authority of professional gentlemen, are the very best ever invented; they have gone through a different process, which clarifies and makes them the greatest improvement ever heard of by candle light or dull day.Mr. —— can tell by the physiology and figure of the eye when to give the greatest assistance. His glasses are of a refractive quality; so constructed as to effect the greatest relief; manufactured by machinery of a new construction, and by a peculiar way. Turbid glasses destroy the cornea and iris of the eye, and harbingers all ocular diseases.*** A book will be given for the use of the Improved Spectacles and advice for all diseases.Sight is injured by buying Spectacles of Shops, or otherchanceplaces of sale, totally unacquainted with vision.Ladies and Gentlemen whose eyes are weak will, by using these extraordinary Spectacles for two or three hours a week, find their matchless qualities, as they are ground in a peculiar way.Mr. —— will call with a large Assortment.LICENSED HAWKER, NO. ——⁂ This Circular will be called for.

Improved Eye Preservers, patronized by the Faculty of the Eye Infirmaries for Cataract, and other improved glasses.

Mr. —— optician to the Queen,[12]Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Kent, &c. sole Inventor of Optical Glasses, ground and shaded on the Exact[13]Principle. Mr. —— has been for twenty-five years a manufacturer, who has devoted his study with time to bring this branch to perfection. Mr. —— has been earnestly solicited to pay a short visit for a limited period. He has the honour to announce his arrival from the London, Bristol, and Edinburgh Optical Establishments.

Spectacles for far and near distances, for those who have a full eye, ground in a peculiar manner.

Sight is often abused by inexperienced persons taking upon themselves the impracticable task of assisting it.

The Improved Spectacles, and other glasses, made by Mr. —— on the authority of professional gentlemen, are the very best ever invented; they have gone through a different process, which clarifies and makes them the greatest improvement ever heard of by candle light or dull day.

Mr. —— can tell by the physiology and figure of the eye when to give the greatest assistance. His glasses are of a refractive quality; so constructed as to effect the greatest relief; manufactured by machinery of a new construction, and by a peculiar way. Turbid glasses destroy the cornea and iris of the eye, and harbingers all ocular diseases.

*** A book will be given for the use of the Improved Spectacles and advice for all diseases.

Sight is injured by buying Spectacles of Shops, or otherchanceplaces of sale, totally unacquainted with vision.

Ladies and Gentlemen whose eyes are weak will, by using these extraordinary Spectacles for two or three hours a week, find their matchless qualities, as they are ground in a peculiar way.

Mr. —— will call with a large Assortment.LICENSED HAWKER, NO. ——⁂ This Circular will be called for.

PUFF, No. 2.

The sight of the aged assisted by the Improved Spectacles, upon unerring principles.Persons have been going round copying Mr. ——’s Bill, who is the only real original manufacturer of them?[14]it has been the cause of many persons nearly losing their sight, Mr. —— has had fifteen years practice on the eye: there is such a monstrous difference inthese improved glasses, that one pair will serve a person his whole life. The sight of the aged assisted, the weak strengthened, and the perfect improved, by Mr. ——’s improved spectacles.Spectacles for those who have a full eye; the glasses are ground in a peculiar manner. Blindness has took place from the ignorance of persons wearing the glasses in common use, owing to the glassesdrawingthe eyes. These glasses are highly recommended by professional gentlemen, who view them to be the greatest improvement ever known; they have gone through a different process, which clarifies them, and makes them the greatest improvement by candle light or dull day, qualifying you to see the greatest length of time at one sitting; those persons whose eyes are weak, by using a pair of those extraordinary preservers for two or three hours will find they are ground in a peculiar manner.A treatise will be given for the use of the Improved glasses, with advice gratis for all diseases of the eye. Mr. —— flatters himself he can perform the most difficult cures in the sight with the greatest ease; there is no complaint of the eye but he is acquainted with. Mr. —— cautions the public against a person who is selling Spectacles which pretend to be his.Mr. —— will call with a large Assortment of Improved glasses, which will give satisfaction.LICENSED HAWKER.

The sight of the aged assisted by the Improved Spectacles, upon unerring principles.

Persons have been going round copying Mr. ——’s Bill, who is the only real original manufacturer of them?[14]it has been the cause of many persons nearly losing their sight, Mr. —— has had fifteen years practice on the eye: there is such a monstrous difference inthese improved glasses, that one pair will serve a person his whole life. The sight of the aged assisted, the weak strengthened, and the perfect improved, by Mr. ——’s improved spectacles.

Spectacles for those who have a full eye; the glasses are ground in a peculiar manner. Blindness has took place from the ignorance of persons wearing the glasses in common use, owing to the glassesdrawingthe eyes. These glasses are highly recommended by professional gentlemen, who view them to be the greatest improvement ever known; they have gone through a different process, which clarifies them, and makes them the greatest improvement by candle light or dull day, qualifying you to see the greatest length of time at one sitting; those persons whose eyes are weak, by using a pair of those extraordinary preservers for two or three hours will find they are ground in a peculiar manner.

A treatise will be given for the use of the Improved glasses, with advice gratis for all diseases of the eye. Mr. —— flatters himself he can perform the most difficult cures in the sight with the greatest ease; there is no complaint of the eye but he is acquainted with. Mr. —— cautions the public against a person who is selling Spectacles which pretend to be his.

Mr. —— will call with a large Assortment of Improved glasses, which will give satisfaction.

LICENSED HAWKER.

PUFF, No. 3.

Caution against a person taking the name of Messrs. ——, the professional opticians: and imposing upon ladies and gentlemen in selling shameful spectacles, as Messrs. —— improved, and charging forty shillings, while Messrs. —— only charges for the same twenty shillings, or, with pebbles, only fifteen shillings.PERMANENT RELIEFfor all disorders effecting the eyes, and cases of dimness. Were it necessary,A HOST OF CASESmight be named by which persons, distinguished, have, by their improved scientific and successful using of theirIMPROVED GLASSESbeen much benefitted. The honourable patronage noticed at the head of this article, and their hourly increasing patronage, are proofs of their great skill and talent forALL DISORDERS OF THE SIGHT.They have the honour to be professionally consulted by the chief families in the empire. Imperfect sight can only be handled properly by those who by deep study have a talent forTHE ORGANS OF SIGHT.Many people injure their sight by buying improper spectacles, whereas it isTHE ESPECIAL OBJECTof Messrs. —— to rest the claim of patronage on those numerous persons of the first quality.THE NOBILITY AND GENTRYMay be suited with Spherical Pellucid Glasses, of every class, according to their exalted rank.THE MERCANTILE AND LABOURING CLASSESmay have their daily toil sweetened by these improved glasses; administered, in cases of distress, on terms accommodating to their situations in society.Licensed Hawker, No. ——, A.

PERMANENT RELIEF

for all disorders effecting the eyes, and cases of dimness. Were it necessary,

A HOST OF CASES

might be named by which persons, distinguished, have, by their improved scientific and successful using of their

IMPROVED GLASSES

been much benefitted. The honourable patronage noticed at the head of this article, and their hourly increasing patronage, are proofs of their great skill and talent for

ALL DISORDERS OF THE SIGHT.

They have the honour to be professionally consulted by the chief families in the empire. Imperfect sight can only be handled properly by those who by deep study have a talent for

THE ORGANS OF SIGHT.

Many people injure their sight by buying improper spectacles, whereas it is

THE ESPECIAL OBJECT

of Messrs. —— to rest the claim of patronage on those numerous persons of the first quality.

THE NOBILITY AND GENTRY

May be suited with Spherical Pellucid Glasses, of every class, according to their exalted rank.

THE MERCANTILE AND LABOURING CLASSES

may have their daily toil sweetened by these improved glasses; administered, in cases of distress, on terms accommodating to their situations in society.

Licensed Hawker, No. ——, A.

PUFF, No. 4.

For a short time only.

Mr. ——, Optician to their Royal Highnesses the Prince and Princess of ——, King and Queen of ——, has the honour to inform the nobility and visitors of ——, he has arrived from the London Royal Eye Infirmary, for a short time only. A reference to the distinguished patronage he boasts, will convince the public he possesses great skill in the Optic Line, and is without a parallel when such organs as the eyes is liable to evils from common glass and pebbles, one being no better than the other! It is his imperative wish to guard the public against them; therefore, he announces his stay will be for a short period.Licensed Hawker, No. ——, B.

Licensed Hawker, No. ——, B.

PUFF, No. 5.

MAY BE CONSULTED,

Mynheer ——, Practical and Professional Optician, Surgeon-Oculist and Surgeon-Dentist, announces his arrival. In all recent or chronic weakness, a perfect cure is his far-famed Keysell Spectacles, which have the density and translucency of a diamond, and refractive preserving powers, being composed from rare crystals, produced from the Carpathian Rocks, so highly recommended by the faculty. Mynheer M —— being based upon the greatest perfection which the dento-chirurgical art can be carried, can renovate all decay by his succedaneum, which all the faculty of the continental cities recommend. In two seconds it removes pain, and lasts many years.But it is to the Keysell Spectacles and Terrence Teeth that he woulddraw the eyesof his friends to: they are fixed in the mouth so that it is impossible to remove them without wires. They increase the beauty by their elegant matchlessness.Licensed Hawker, No. ——

But it is to the Keysell Spectacles and Terrence Teeth that he woulddraw the eyesof his friends to: they are fixed in the mouth so that it is impossible to remove them without wires. They increase the beauty by their elegant matchlessness.

Licensed Hawker, No. ——

PUFF, No. 6.

POSITIVELY FOR THIS WEEK ONLY.

Messrs. —— have succeeded, after fifteen years’ professional practice, and devoting their whole lives to the optic line, in bringing out a wonderful translucency for the organs of sight, coupled with a conductor for deafness. This wonderful discovery brings faulty hearing to perfection. They are so arranged and combined with scientific principles, with the long practice of the inventors, that they will allow such an extent of relief that will quite astonish every beholder.They are anxious not to be confounded. There are other people who pretend to the skill of Messrs. ——, therefore the public are liable to be imposed upon. Inferior spectacles can be had of persons calling themselves opticians, but Messrs. —— think it is scarcely necessary to state, that their improved Translucency for Spectacles, and Conductors for Deafness, are manufactured under their own eyes, upon spherical principles.Licensed Hawkers, No. ——One of the Firm may be professionally consulted from 10 to 6.

They are anxious not to be confounded. There are other people who pretend to the skill of Messrs. ——, therefore the public are liable to be imposed upon. Inferior spectacles can be had of persons calling themselves opticians, but Messrs. —— think it is scarcely necessary to state, that their improved Translucency for Spectacles, and Conductors for Deafness, are manufactured under their own eyes, upon spherical principles.

Licensed Hawkers, No. ——

One of the Firm may be professionally consulted from 10 to 6.

PUFF, No. 7.

IMPORTANT DISCOVERY.

Mr. ——, Professional Optician, patronized by the faculty of London, Brighton, Bath, Edinburgh, Glasgow, and Paris.Spectacles ground and shaded on the exact principle of truth, by Mr. ——, the celebrated Optician from the London Optical Establishment, established for a number of years.Mr. ——, in consequence of the flattering encouragement he received from the first families, he has established himself here for a short time. He has made the study of vision his own, and can remedy any organic defect, neglect, disease, or imperfection. Many individuals of rank and royalty acknowledge the immense improvement. Mr. —— will send a treatise, explaining every thing in the line, to every house, and will attend himself with a splendid quantity of improved glasses.As several persons travel through the country in his name, he begs the public to look at his patronage at the top of his circular.He is the sole Inventor of the Improved glasses. They have gone through an elaborate process, they are therefore clarified and pellucid. They throw a clearer light, and more brilliant than any others.⁂ At home from 2 till 6.Licensed Hawker, No. ——Please to observe the brass plate in the window.

Mr. ——, Professional Optician, patronized by the faculty of London, Brighton, Bath, Edinburgh, Glasgow, and Paris.

Spectacles ground and shaded on the exact principle of truth, by Mr. ——, the celebrated Optician from the London Optical Establishment, established for a number of years.

Mr. ——, in consequence of the flattering encouragement he received from the first families, he has established himself here for a short time. He has made the study of vision his own, and can remedy any organic defect, neglect, disease, or imperfection. Many individuals of rank and royalty acknowledge the immense improvement. Mr. —— will send a treatise, explaining every thing in the line, to every house, and will attend himself with a splendid quantity of improved glasses.

As several persons travel through the country in his name, he begs the public to look at his patronage at the top of his circular.He is the sole Inventor of the Improved glasses. They have gone through an elaborate process, they are therefore clarified and pellucid. They throw a clearer light, and more brilliant than any others.

⁂ At home from 2 till 6.

Licensed Hawker, No. ——

Please to observe the brass plate in the window.

How often, too, accompanying such advertisements as the preceding, do we find paragraphs, in the laudatory style, to some such effect as the following (see also page44). It requires but little penetration to arrive at a conclusion as to who are the authors of them.

Puff Paragraph, No. 1.—We again call the attention of our readers to Mr. —— and his valuable assortment of Spectacles. They are manufactured with extraordinary care, and constructed upon the strictest scientific principles. M. —— has for a long period past devoted his attention exclusively to that important branch of optics—the human eye;—and the proficiency he has attained of the complicated structure of that noble organ has enabled him to adapt glasses to every degree of defective vision. But the highest panegyric which can be pronounced upon the skill of this artist, is the unprecedented number of applications which have been made to him.Our readers will observe, that his stay is restricted to a few days.

Our readers will observe, that his stay is restricted to a few days.

Puff Paragraph, No. 2.—We have more than once had occasion to allude to the surreptitious conduct of individuals, who are eager to profit by the established reputation of our resident opticians, Messrs. ——, who are about making arrangements for visiting all the neighbouring towns, making this place their permanent residence.[15]

The “Messrs. ——,” the “resident,” the “distinguished,” decamped at the expiration of three weeks.

FOOTNOTES:[12]The royal arms appear at the head of this elegant announcement. (Query) Ought not the proper authorities to prohibit such vile use being made of the name of royalty.[13]Query—Exactionprinciple.[14]Were those individuals reallymanufacturers, they would not require a Licence to vend their articles. See Act of Parliament, 50 Geo. III. cap. 41, sec. 23. enacts: “Provided always, and it is hereby enacted, that nothing in this Act shall extend to prohibit any person or persons from selling any printed papers, licensed by authority, or any fish, fruit, or victuals; nor to hinder thereal worker or workers, or maker or makersof any goods, wares, or manufactures of Great Britain, or his, her, or their children, apprentices, or known agents or servants usually residing with such real workers or makers only, from carrying abroad or exposing to sale, and selling by retail or otherwise, any of the said goods, wares, or manufactures of his, her, or their own making in any mart, market, or fair, and in every city, borough, town corporate, and market town. Nor any tinkers, coopers, glaziers, plumbers, harness makers, or other persons usually trading in mending kettles, tubs, household goods, or harness whatsoever, from going about and carrying with him, or them, proper materials for mending the same.”[15]It is gratifying, however, to find that many editors of newspapers repudiate the iniquitous system, perceiving that their readers might justly look upon them as participators in the fraud.One of the puffing,professionallicensed hawkers entered the office of the Reading newspaper, and with the authoritative air of an Alexander, desired that his announcement should appear in the front column, and theusuallaudatory paragraph in another part of the paper. He was informed that his advertisement could be inserted, but that the proprietors had determined never to admit such insidious clap-trap notices, which, while they injured the resident tradesman, and were looked upon as thebona fideopinions of the editor, generally referred to matters of which he could not honestly express a favourable opinion. The pedlar stood aghast! “What,” said he, “not put in a paragraph? Why, I’d sooner pay for a good paragraph than care about the advertisement at all.”Hisprofessionalvisit was of unusually short duration, finding it impossible to bribe the press to trumpet forth his praise.

[12]The royal arms appear at the head of this elegant announcement. (Query) Ought not the proper authorities to prohibit such vile use being made of the name of royalty.

[13]Query—Exactionprinciple.

[14]Were those individuals reallymanufacturers, they would not require a Licence to vend their articles. See Act of Parliament, 50 Geo. III. cap. 41, sec. 23. enacts: “Provided always, and it is hereby enacted, that nothing in this Act shall extend to prohibit any person or persons from selling any printed papers, licensed by authority, or any fish, fruit, or victuals; nor to hinder thereal worker or workers, or maker or makersof any goods, wares, or manufactures of Great Britain, or his, her, or their children, apprentices, or known agents or servants usually residing with such real workers or makers only, from carrying abroad or exposing to sale, and selling by retail or otherwise, any of the said goods, wares, or manufactures of his, her, or their own making in any mart, market, or fair, and in every city, borough, town corporate, and market town. Nor any tinkers, coopers, glaziers, plumbers, harness makers, or other persons usually trading in mending kettles, tubs, household goods, or harness whatsoever, from going about and carrying with him, or them, proper materials for mending the same.”

[15]It is gratifying, however, to find that many editors of newspapers repudiate the iniquitous system, perceiving that their readers might justly look upon them as participators in the fraud.One of the puffing,professionallicensed hawkers entered the office of the Reading newspaper, and with the authoritative air of an Alexander, desired that his announcement should appear in the front column, and theusuallaudatory paragraph in another part of the paper. He was informed that his advertisement could be inserted, but that the proprietors had determined never to admit such insidious clap-trap notices, which, while they injured the resident tradesman, and were looked upon as thebona fideopinions of the editor, generally referred to matters of which he could not honestly express a favourable opinion. The pedlar stood aghast! “What,” said he, “not put in a paragraph? Why, I’d sooner pay for a good paragraph than care about the advertisement at all.”Hisprofessionalvisit was of unusually short duration, finding it impossible to bribe the press to trumpet forth his praise.

[15]It is gratifying, however, to find that many editors of newspapers repudiate the iniquitous system, perceiving that their readers might justly look upon them as participators in the fraud.

One of the puffing,professionallicensed hawkers entered the office of the Reading newspaper, and with the authoritative air of an Alexander, desired that his announcement should appear in the front column, and theusuallaudatory paragraph in another part of the paper. He was informed that his advertisement could be inserted, but that the proprietors had determined never to admit such insidious clap-trap notices, which, while they injured the resident tradesman, and were looked upon as thebona fideopinions of the editor, generally referred to matters of which he could not honestly express a favourable opinion. The pedlar stood aghast! “What,” said he, “not put in a paragraph? Why, I’d sooner pay for a good paragraph than care about the advertisement at all.”

Hisprofessionalvisit was of unusually short duration, finding it impossible to bribe the press to trumpet forth his praise.

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