ACTII.Scene I.SceneI.Charinus, Byrrhia[108].
SceneI.
Charinus, Byrrhia[108].
Char.What is it you tell me, Byrrhia; is she then to be married to Pamphilus; and is the wedding to take place even on this very day?
Byrr.It is even so, Sir.
Char.How do you know it?
Byrr.From Davus, whom I met just now in the Forum.
Char.Alas! the measure of my wretchedness is now full: my soul has hitherto fluctuated between my hopes and fears; but now all hope is lost, I sink wearied and care-worn into utter despair.
Byrr[109]. I beseech you, O Charinus,[110]to wish for something possible, since what you now wish for is impossible!
Char.I can wish for nothing but Philumena!
Byrr.Ah! how much wiser you would be, if instead of talking thus, which only serves to nourish[111]a hopeless passion; you would endeavour to subdue, and banish it entirely from your heart.
Char.How readily do those who are in health give good counsel to the diseased! if you were in my situation you would not talk thus.
Byrr.Well, well, as you please, Sir.
Char.But I see Pamphilus coming this way. I am resolved to attempt every thing before I am quite undone.
Byrr.What is he going about now?
Char.I will entreat even my rival himself, I will implore him, I will tell him of my love. I trust I shall be able to prevail upon him, at least to postpone his marriage for a few days; meantime I hope something may happen in my favour.
Byrr.That something is nothing at all.
Char.What think you, Byrrhia; shall I speak to him?
Byrr.Why not? that even if you can obtain nothing, you may make him think, at least, that Philumena will find a pressing gallant in you, if he marries her[112].
Char.Get away, rascal, with your base suspicions.
SceneII.
Charinus, Byrrhia, Pamphilus.
Pam.Ha! Charinus, I hope you are well, Sir.
Char.Oh, Pamphilus!——I come to implore from you hope, safety, counsel, and assistance.
Pam.Truly, I myself have need of counsel, and assistance too: but what is this affair?
Char.You are to be married to-day!
Pam.Ay, they say so.
Char.If you are, Pamphilus, you see me to-day for the last time[113].
Pam.Why so?
Char.Alas! I dread to speak it! tell him, Byrrhia, I beseech you.
Byrr.I will.
Pam.What is it, speak?
Byrr.My master loves Philumena to distraction, and hears that she is betrothed to you.
Pam.Truly, he and I are not of the same mind then; but prithee now, Charinus, tell me, has nothing passed between you and Philumena?
Char.Ah! Pamphilus, nothing.
Pam.I wish with all my soul there had!
Char.I implore you then, by all the ties of friendship, and tried affection, never to wed her: this is my first request.
Pam.Never! if I can help it, believe me.
Char.But if you cannot grant me this, and earnestly desire thematch——
Pam.I desire it!
Char.At least defer it for a day or two, that I may go from here, and avoid the misery of being obliged to witness it.
Pam.Listen to me, Charinus; I think it is by no means the part of a man of honour to claim thanks, where none are due to him. I am more desirous to avoid Philumena, than you are to obtain her.
Char.My dearest friend! your words have given me new life.
Pam.Now, if either you, or Byrrhia here, can do any thing; for[114]Heaven’s sake do it; contrive, invent, and manage if you can, that she may be given to you; I meantime will do all in my power to prevent her from being given to me.
Char.I am satisfied.
Pam.But here comes Davus, most opportunely; I rely entirely upon his advice.
Char.[to Byrrhia.] But as for you, you can tell me nothing but what I don’t care to hear. Begone, sirrah.
Byrr.With all my heart, Sir.
[Exit.
SceneIII.
Charinus, Pamphilus, Davus.
Davus.Heaven! what a world of good news do I bring! but, [to himself,] where shall I find Pamphilus? that I may relieve him from his present fears, and fill his soul with joy.
Char.He seems to be very much pleased at something; he’s mighty merry.
Pam.Oh! ’tis nothing at all: he does not yet know of this unfortunate affair.
Davus.[to himself.] For if he has heard that he is to be married to-day.
Char.Do you hear what he says?
Davus.I’ll be bound he’s at this very moment half distracted, and seeking for me all over the town: but where shall I find him, or which way shall I now direct my course.
Char.Why do you not speak to him?
Davus[going.] Well, I’ll go.
Pam.Stop, Davus.
Davus.Who calls me? Oh! Pamphilus! I was seeking for you every where. Charinus, too! well met, Sir; I wanted both of you.
Pam.Oh Davus, I am quite undone.
Davus.But hear me.
Pam.I am quite ruined!
Davus.I know all your fears.
Char.And as for me, my very existence is at stake!
Davus.I know your affair also[115].
Pam.A marriage is——
Davus.I know that also.
Pam.This very day too.
Davus.You stun me; I tell you I know every thing already. You, Pamphilus, fear lest you should be compelled to marry Philumena; and you, Charinus, lest you should not marry her.
Char.Exactly so.
Pam.’Tis the very thing.
Davus.Then, Sir, in that very thing there is no danger at all; take my word for it.
Pam.For heaven’s sake, Davus, if you can do so, rid me of my fears at once.
Davus.I banish them all; Chremes does not intend to give you his daughter at present.
Pam.How do you know that?
Davus.I am sure of it. Your father took me aside just now, and told me that he meant to have you married to-day; and added a great deal more, which I have not time to tell you at present. Immediately I run at full speed to the Forum, to look for you; that I may acquaint you with all this. Not being able to find you, I get upon an eminence, look around; you are no where to be seen. By chance I descry among the crowd, Charinus’ servant Byrrhia; I inquire of him; he knows nothing of you: how vexatious! quite perplexed; I begin to consider what course to take next. Meantime as I was returning and thinking the business over, a suspicion struck me. How’s this! thought I; no extra provision made, the old man gloomy, and the marriage to take place so suddenly! these things don’t appear consistent.
Pam.Well, what then?
Davus.I then go directly to Chremes’ house; but when I get there, not a soul[116]do I see before the door; every thing is quite still and quiet,[117]which pleased me not a little.
Char.Very good.
Pam.Go on.
Davus.I stay there a little while, but no one goes in or out; I come quite up to the door, and look in,[118]but can see no bridemaid; no preparations[119]; all was silent.
Pam.I understand: a good sign!
Davus.Can all these things be consistent with a marriage?
Pam.I think not, Davus.
Davus.Think not! do you say? you must be blind, Sir, not to see it: it is an absolute certainty: besides all this, as I was returning I met Chremes’ servant, who was carrying home some herbs, and as many little[120]fishes for the old man’s supper, as might have cost an obolus.
Char.Friend Davus, you have been my deliverer to-day.
Davus.Not at all, Sir, this does not benefit you.
Char.How so? why Chremes certainly will not give his daughter to Pamphilus.
Davus.Nonsense; as if it followed of course that he must give her to you, because he does not give her to him: if you do not take care; if you do not use all your endeavours, to gain the support of the old man’s friends, you will be no nearer your wishes than ever[121].
Char.You advise me well; I will go about it, though in truth this hope has often deceived me before. Farewell.
[Exit.
SceneIV.
Pamphilus, Davus.
Pam.What then can my father mean? why does he thus dissemble?
Davus.I will tell you, Sir. He knows very well that it would be unreasonable in him to be angry with you, because Chremes has refused to give you his daughter, nor can he take any thing amiss, before he knows how your mind stands affected towards the marriage; but if you should refuse to marry, all the blame will be thrown on you, and a grievous disturbance created.
Pam.What then, shall I bear it patiently, and consent to marry?
Davus.He is your father, Pamphilus, and it would not be easy to oppose him: Glycera moreover is[122]destitute and friendless, and he would speedily find some pretext or other to banish her from the city[123].
Pam.Banish her.
Davus.Ay, directly.
Pam.Oh Davus, what shall I do?
Davus.Tell him that you are ready to marry.
Pam.Ah!
Davus.What’s the matter?
Pam.Can I tell him so?
Davus.Why not?
Pam.Never.
Davus.Be advised, Sir, tell him so.
Pam.Do not attempt to persuade me to it.
Davus.Consider the result.
Pam.Torn for ever from my Glycera, I should be wedded to another.
Davus.You are mistaken, Sir, listen to me: your father, I expect, will speak to you to this effect. Pamphilus, ’tis my will that you should be married to-day. I am ready, Sir; you shall answer: how can he then complain of you? All his plans on which he places so much reliance will be rendered abortive, and entirely frustrated by this reply; which you may very safely make; as it is beyond a doubt that Chremes will persist in refusing you his daughter; therefore do not let the fear of his changing his[124]mind, prevent you from following my advice. Tell your father that you are willing to marry; that when he seeks a cause of complaint against you, he may not be able to find any. As to the hopes you indulge, that no man will give his daughter to you, on account of this imprudent[125]connexion that you have formed; I will soon convince you of their fallacy; for believe me, your father would rather see you wedded to poverty itself, than suffer you to continue your present intimacy with Glycera; but if he thinks you are indifferent, he will grow unconcerned, and look out another wife at his leisure; meantime something may happen in your favour.
Pam.Do you think so?
Davus.There is no doubt of it.
Pam.Be cautious whither you lead me.
Davus.Pray, Sir, say no more about it.
Pam.I will act as you advise me; but we must take care that he knows nothing of the child, for I have promised to bring it up.
Davus.[126]Is it possible?
Pam.She entreated me to promise this as a pledge that I would not forsake her.
Davus.Enough. I will be on my guard; but here comes your father: take care that you do not appear melancholy or embarrassed.
SceneV.
Davus, Pamphilus, Simo.
Simo.[to himself.] I am come back again, to see what they are about; or what course they resolve upon.
Davus.He is fully persuaded that you will refuse to marry, and has been ruminating by himself in some corner, where he has prepared an harangue with which he expects to embarrass you: therefore take care to be on your guard.
Pam.I will, Davus, if I can.
Davus.Do but tell him that you are ready to marry in obedience to his wishes, and you’ll strike the old gentleman dumb: he’ll not mention the subject again, I’ll answer for it.
SceneVI.
Simo, Davus, Pamphilus, Byrrhia.
Byrr.[to himself.] My master has given me orders to lay all other business aside and watch Pamphilus to-day, that I may discover how he acts touching this marriage; so[127]as I saw the old man coming this way, I followed him. Oh! here is Davus, and his master with him: now then to execute my commission.
Simo.Oh! there they are together.
Davus.[aside to Pamphilus.] Now, Sir, be on your guard.
Simo.Pamphilus.
Davus.[aside to Pamphilus.] Turn round suddenly, as if you had not perceived him.
Pam.Ha! my father.
Davus.[aside.] Acted to the life.
Simo.I intend, (as I told you before), to have you married to-day.
Byrr.[aside.] Now for my master’s[128]sake, I dread to hear his answer.
Pam.You shall not find me tardy in obeying your commands, Sir, either on this, or any other subject.
Byrr.[aside.] Ha! I am[129]struck dumb. What did he say?
Simo.You do your duty, when you meet my wishes with a ready compliance.
Davus.[aside to Pam.] Was I not right, Sir?
Byrr.[aside.] From what I hear, I fancy my master has nothing to do, but to provide himself with another mistress as soon as possible[130].
Simo.Now, Pamphilus, go in immediately, that you may be ready when you are wanted.
Pam.I go, Sir.
[Exit.
Byrr.[aside.] Is there no honour, no sincerity in any man? I find the common proverb to be true. Every man loves himself best. I have seen Philumena, and I remember that I thought her charming; in truth, I cannot much blame Pamphilus, that he had rather wed her himself than yield her to my master. Well, I’ll carry him an account of what has passed. I suppose I shall receive an abundance of bad language in return for my bad news[131].
[Exit.
SceneVII.
Davus, Simo.
Davus.[aside.] The old man thinks I have some scheme on foot, and stay here now to play it off upon him.
Simo.Well, what says Davus?
Davus.Nothing, Sir, just at present.
Simo.Nothing? indeed!
Davus.Nothing at all.
Simo.But yet I expected something.
Davus.[aside.] He[132]has missed his aim! I see this nettles him to the quick.
Simo.Is it possible that for once you can speak truth?
Davus.Nothing can be easier.
Simo.Tell me then, does not this marriage very much distress my son, on account of his partiality for this Andrian.
Davus.By Hercules, not at all: or if indeed he feels a slight uneasiness for a day or two, you know it will not last longer than that, for he has reflected on the subject, and sees it in its true light, I assure you, Sir.
Simo.I commend him for it.
Davus.While circumstances allowed him, and while[133]his youth in some measure excused him, I confess he did intrigue a little; but then he took care to conceal it from the world: he was cautious,[134]as a gentleman should be, not to disgrace himself by giving room for any scandalous reports; but now as he must marry, he inclines his thoughts to marriage.
Simo.Yet, he appeared to me, to be rather melancholy[135].
Davus.Not at all on that account, but he is a little vexed with you.
Simo.About what?
Davus.Oh! a mere trifle.
Simo.But what is it?
Davus.Nothing worth speaking of.
Simo.But tell me what it is?
Davus.He says you are too sparing of your purse.
Simo.Who? I?
Davus.You. My father, said he, has scarcely spent ten drachms for the wedding supper[136]: does this look like the marriage of his son? I cannot invite my companions even on such an occasion as this. Indeed, Sir[137], I think you are too frugal: it is not well timed.
Simo.[angrily.] Hold your tongue.
Davus.[aside.] I’ve[138]ruffled him now!
Simo.I will take care that every thing is as it should be. Away! [Exit Davus.] What can all this be about? what can this crafty knave mean? if there is any mischief on foot, this fellow is sure to be the contriver of it.