END OF THE SECOND ACT.
END OF THE SECOND ACT.
ACTIII.Scene I.SceneI.Mysis, Simo, Davus, Lesbia[139], Glycera[140].
SceneI.
Mysis, Simo, Davus, Lesbia[139], Glycera[140].
Mysis.Indeed, Lesbia, what you say is very true: one scarcely ever meets with a constant lover.
[Simo to Davus.] This girl belongs to Glycera! Ha! Davus?
Davus.Yes.
Mysis.But as for Pamphilus——
Simo.[aside.] What’s that?
Mysis.He has kept his promise.
Simo.[aside.] Ha!
Davus.[aside.] Would to Heaven that he were deaf, or that she were dumb.
Mysis.For girl, or boy, he has given orders that the child shall be brought up[141].
Simo.O Jupiter! what do I hear? it is all over, if what she says be truth.
Lesbia.What you tell me, is a proof of a good disposition.
Mysis.His is most excellent; but now let us go, lest we should be wanted before we arrive.
Lesbia.I follow you.
[They go in.
Davus.[aside.] Here’s a pretty disaster! how shall I be able to remedy this evil?
[Simo to himself.] What’s this? Is he so mad? A foreigner too![142]phoo! now I see through it all! how simple I must be not to discover it at first.
Davus.What does he say he has discovered?
Simo.Davus, that indefatigable contriver of mischief, is the chief mover of all this roguery. They pretend the birth of a child, that they may deter Chremes from the match.
[Glycera cries out from the house.] O Juno Lucina, help! save me! I beseech thee[143].
Simo.Hey day! what already! ha! ha! ha! how preposterous! the moment she finds out that I am within hearing, she begins to cry out. Why, Davus, your incidents are not well[144]timed at all, man.
Davus.Mine!
Simo.Have your actors forgotten their parts?
Davus.I don’t understand you really, Sir.
Simo.What an object of derision! what a laughing-stock[145]would this rascal have made of me, if he had played off this fine trick in a real marriage: but now he is shipwrecked whilst I am safe in port.
SceneII.
Lesbia, Simo, Davus.
Lesbia.Hitherto, Archillis, she has all the usual symptoms of doing well. Now, first, let her be bathed[146]: and, after that, give her the drink, in the quantities I directed. I shall return immediately. Upon my life, Pamphilus has got a very pretty boy. Heaven grant he may live to make a good man! for his father is a worthy youth, who would not wrong this innocent young creature.
[Exit.
Simo.(to Davus.) Could any one, who knew you, doubt for a moment that you were the contriver of this?
Davus.Contriver! of what, Sir?
Simo.The midwife never gave her orders about the treatment of her patient while she was in the house: but, after she was come out of doors, she bawls from the street to those within. O Davus, am I so despised by you? or do I appear to you a fit subject to practise such barefaced tricks upon? The least you could have done, was to have acted cautiously, that I might, at any rate, seem to be feared, if I had discovered it.
Davus.(aside.) By Jupiter, he cheats himself: I am sure I’ve no hand in it.
Simo.Did I not warn you? Did I not threaten you with the consequences of this? But what care you? ’Twas all to no purpose! Do you think that I really believe that Glycera has borne a child to Pamphilus?
Davus.I see his error now, and know my cue.
Simo.Why don’t you speak?
Davus.What! not believe it! as if you had not been told of all this before!
Simo.I told of it!
Davus.Ha! ha! Could you, of yourself, have discovered that this was all pretended?
Simo.I am laughed at!
Davus.You must have been told of it: how else could you have suspected any thing?
Simo.How! because I know you thoroughly, sirrah.
Davus.Meaning, Sir, I suppose, that this was done by my advice?
Simo.Certainly: there can’t be the least doubt of that.
Davus.I’m sorry, Simo, that you don’t yet know me better.
Simo.What! not know you?
Davus.The moment I begin to speak, you imagine that I am trying to impose upon you.
Simo.Quite without cause, hey, Mr. Innocence?
Davus.Truly, at this rate, I shall hardly dare open my[147]mouth.
Simo.One thing I am sure of; that this child-birth is all counterfeited.
Davus.You have discovered the truth; but,nevertheless, they will not fail to lay a child at our door very shortly. I tell you, Sir, beforehand, that this will happen, that you may be prepared for it; and not afterwards say, that it was done by the advice and contrivance of Davus. Indeed, Sir, I wish to remove the unjust opinion you entertain of me.
Simo.How do you know this?
Davus.I heard it, and believe it to be true. Many circumstances induce me to form this conjecture. First of all, this girl affirms that she is with child by Pamphilus, which I have discovered to be false. Now, finding that the marriage preparations are going forward in our house[148], she sends her maid to fetch a midwife, and to provide a child[149]: at the same time, thinking that unless they managed that you should see a child, the marriage would not be impeded.
Simo.But, as you had discovered all this, why did you not directly acquaint my son with their designs?
Davus.Why, Sir, who was it that prevailed on him to break off the connexion? was it not Davus? We all know how madly he loved her: but now, on the contrary, he prudently resolves to marry. In short, Sir, leave this business to me: and do you persevere, (as you have begun,) in forwarding the marriage: and, I trust, that Heaven will be propitious to your endeavours!
Simo.Well, now, go in, and wait for me.
SceneIII.
Simo.
Simo.I am not exactly inclined to believe this fellow; and I know not whether all that he has been telling me is true, neither do I much care. Pamphilus has given me his promise; that I conceive to be of the greatest consequence. Now, I will go to Chremes, and entreat him to give his daughter to my son. If I prevail, what can I do better than celebrate the marriage this very day? As for Pamphilus, if he refuse, I have no doubt I can compel him to keep his promise[150]. And, most opportunely for my purpose, I see Chremes himself coming this way.
SceneIV.
Simo, Chremes[151].
Simo.Chremes, I am very glad to see you!
Chremes.O! Simo, I was looking for you.
Simo.And I for you.
Chremes.I meet you most opportunely. Several persons came to me, and asserted, that you had told them, that my daughter was to be given in marriage to your son to-day. For this reason, I came to see whether they have lost their senses, or you your’s.
Simo.Hear me, Chremes; and you shall know, both what you come to ask, and what I desire of you.
Chremes.I am all attention: pray proceed.
Simo.I conjure you, by the gods, and by our friendship, Chremes, which has grown up with us from our earliest years, and strengthened with our age: for the sake of your daughter, your only child: and, for the sake of my son, whose welfare depends entirely upon you; I entreat you to assist me in this affair: and renew your consent to the marriage of our children.
Chremes.Ah, Simo, what need of prayers? as if it were necessary to use so much entreaty with me, your friend. Do you think that I am less your friend than when I offered my daughter to your son? If the marriage will conduce to their mutual happiness, in Heaven’s name, send for my daughter, and let them marry at once: but, if it be found, that it would tend to the detriment, rather than to the advantage, of both; I beseech you to consult their mutual benefit, without partiality, as if you were the father of Philumena, and I of Pamphilus.
Simo.Truly, Chremes, it is with that view that I wish their union, and entreat you to consent to it. Neither should I press it so earnestly upon you, if the present aspect of the affair did not justify my urgency.
Chremes.How so, pray?
Simo.Glycera and my son have quarrelled!
Chremes.Indeed! I hear you.
Simo.And the breach between them is so great, that I trust that we shall be able entirely to detach Pamphilus from her society.
Chremes.Fables!
Simo.Upon my honour what I tell you is a fact.
Chremes.A fact, by Hercules, that I’ll explain to you. The quarrels of lovers, is the renewal[152]of their love.
Simo.You are right, and that is the reason of my request: I am anxious that we should seize this opportunity to prevent them, while his love is weakened by her insolence and upbraidings. Let us then hasten his marriage, before the artifices and hypocritical tears of these creatures recal his love-sick mind to pity. And, I trust, Chremes, that a well-assorted marriage, and the endearing society of his wife, will enable my son to extricate himself easily from their toils.
Chremes.You may view the affair in that light: but I cannot think, either that Pamphilus could be faithful to my daughter, or that I could bear to see him otherwise.
Simo.But how do you know that, without you put him to the trial.
Chremes.But to stake the happiness of my daughter on that trial, is hard indeed.
Simo.Yet the most serious mischief, after all, can amount but to a separation[153], which may the gods avert. But, on the other hand, if he fulfils our wishes, consider the advantages that will result from the marriage: in the first place, you will restore to your friend a son: you will ensure to yourself, a dutiful son: and, to your daughter, a faithful husband.
Chremes.What occasion for so many words: if you think this step so very essential to reclaim your son, I should be sorry to throw any impediment in your way.
Simo.O Chremes! you well deserve the love I’ve always borne you.
Chremes.But tell me——
Simo.What?
Chremes.How did you learn their quarrel?
Simo.I was informed of it by Davus himself, who is the confidant of all their counsels; and he persuaded me to do all in my power to forward the marriage: would he have done so, do you think, had he not known it to be consonant to my son’s wishes? But you yourself shall hear what he says. Within, there: send Davus hither; but here he is, I see him coming forth.
SceneV.
Simo, Chremes, Davus.
Davus.I was coming to you, Sir.
Simo.What is it?
Davus.Why is not the bride brought? it grows late[154ᴬ].
Simo.(to Chremes.) Do you hear him? I confess to you, Davus, that, till lately, I have been fearful, that you would prove perfidious[154ᴮ], like the common herd of slaves, and deceive me in this intrigue of Pamphilus.
Davus.I do such a thing, Sir!
Simo.I did suspect it, and, on that very account, I concealed from you what I will now disclose.
Davus.What is that, Sir?
Simo.You shall hear: for, at last, I begin to think that I may trust you.
Davus.Ah, Sir, you now appreciate my character as you ought; you now see what kind of man I am.
Simo.This marriage was all counterfeited.
Davus.Counterfeited!
Simo.Yes, for the purpose of proving you and my son, and to try how you would receive the proposal.
Davus.How! is it possible?
Simo.Fact, I assure you.
Davus.I never could have fathomed this design; what a profound contrivance! deep, Sir, very deep. (bantering.)
Simo.But hear me out. After I sent you in, I most opportunely met my friend Chremes.
Davus.(aside.) How! what does he say? All is lost, I fear.
Simo.I related to him what you had just before related to me.
Davus.(aside.) What do I hear!
Simo.I entreated him to give his daughter to Pamphilus, and, with great difficulty, prevailed upon him to consent.
Davus.(aside.) How unfortunate!
Simo.Ha! what’s that you say[155]?
Davus.How very fortunate, I say.
Simo.Chremes now consents to an immediate union.
Chremes.Well, I will now return home, and order every thing to be prepared: when all is ready, I shall let you know.
[Exit.
SceneVI.
Simo, Davus.
Simo.Now, I entreat you, Davus, since you have brought about the marriage entirely byyourself——
Davus.(aside.) Yes, I have the credit of it entirely to myself. O! curse my unlucky stars.
Simo.——to use all your influence with Pamphilus to induce him to give up his present connexion with Glycera.
Davus.I’ll do all in my power, Sir.
Simo.You will find less difficulty now, while he is angry with his mistress.
Davus.Be at ease, Sir, and rely on me.
Simo.About it then at once: but where is my son now?
Davus.I should not wonder if he were at home.
Simo.I will go and tell him what I have just told you.
SceneVII.
Davus(alone).
I am utterly undone: why do I not at once go straight to the grinding-house. ’Twill be to no purpose to implore mercy: I’ve overturned everything. I have deceived the old man, and embarrassed the son with a marriage he detests; which I have brought about this very day, though the father considered the attempt as hopeless; and Pamphilus as the greatest evil that could befal him. O! wise Davus, if you had but been quiet, this mischief would never have happened. But, see, here come Pamphilus himself! I’m a dead man. O! for some precipice that I might dash myself down headlong!
[Retires.
SceneVIII.
Davus, Pamphilus.
Pam.Where is that villain who has ruined me?
Davus.(aside.) I’m a lost man!
Pam.But I confess that I am justly punished for my imprudence: for my want of common sense. Ought I to have confided my happiness to the keeping of such a shallow slave? I only pay the penalty of my folly: however, the rascal shall not escape the punishment he so richly deserves.
Davus.(aside.) If I escape this time, I think I never need know fear again.
Pam.And what can I say to my father? Can I, who so lately promised to marry, now refuse? with what face can I venture on such a step as that? I know not what to do!
Davus.(aside.) Nor I, though I am racking my brains to hit upon something. I will tell him that I have thought of an expedient to put off the marriage.
Pam.(seeing Davus.) Oh!
Davus.I am seen!
Pam.Pray, good Sir, what have you to say for yourself? do you see what a fine situation your rare advice has reduced me to?
Davus.But I will soon find an expedient to extricate you from it.
Pam.You will find an expedient!
Davus.Certainly, Sir.
Pam.Like your last, I suppose.
Davus.Better, I hope, Sir.
Pam.What trust can I put in such a rascal[156]? Can you remedy a misfortune, which appears entirely ruinous? Ah! how foolishly I relied on you, who, out of a perfect calm[157], have raised this storm, and wrecked me on the rock of this accursed marriage! Did I not forewarn you, that it would end thus?
Davus.You did, Sir, I confess.
Pam.What do you deserve[158]?
Davus.Death. But allow me a short time to recover myself, and I will soon consider what is to be done?
Pam.Alas! I have not time to punish you as you deserve: the present moment demands my attention to my own wretched affairs; and will not suffer me to revenge myself on you.
END OF THE THIRD ACT.