A tradesman, Sire, of this city, did me the honor, two days since, of inviting me to an entertainment, which he gave yesterday morning to his friends: I repaired to his house at an early hour, and found about twenty people assembled.
We were waiting for the master of the house, who was gone out on some sudden business, when we saw him arrive, accompanied by a young stranger very neatly dressed, and of a good figure, but lame. We all rose, and to do honor to the master of the house, we begged the young man to sit with us on the sofa. He was just going to sit down, when perceiving a barber, who was one of the company, he abruptly stepped back; and was going away. The master of the house, surprised at this, stopped him. “Where are you going?” said he, “I bring you here to do me the honor of being present at an entertainment I am going to give my friends, and you are scarcely entered before you want to go away!”—“In the name of God, sir,” replied the stranger, “I entreat you not to detain me, but suffer me to depart. I cannot behold without horror that abominable barber, who is sitting there; although he is born in a country where the complexion of the people is white, yet he bears the colour of an Ethiopian; but his mind is of a still deeper and more horrible die than his visage.”
We were all very much surprised at this speech, and began to conceive a very bad opinion of the barber, without knowing whether the young stranger had any just reason for speaking of him in such terms. We even went so far as to declare that we would not suffer at our table a man of whom we had heard so shocking a character. The master of the house begged the stranger to acquaint us with the occasion of his hatred to the barber. “Gentlemen,” said the young man, “you must know, that this barber was the cause of my being lame; and also of the most cruel affair, which befel me, that you can possibly conceive; for this reason I have made a vow to quit instantly any place where he may be; and even not to reside in any town where he lives: for this reason I left Bagdad, where he was, and undertook so long a journey to come and settle myself in this city, where, being in the centre of Great Tartary, I flattered myself I should be secure of never beholding him again. However, contrary to my hopes and expectations, I find him here; this obliges me, gentlemen, to deprive myself of the honor of partaking of your feast. I will this day leave your city, and go to hide myself, if I can, in some place where he can never again offend my sight.” In saying this, he was going to leave us, but the master of the house still detained him, and entreated him to relate to us the cause of the aversion he had against the barber, who all this time kept his eyes fixed on the ground, and was silent. We joined our entreaties to those of the master of the house, and at last the young man, yielding to our wishes, seated himself on the sofa, and began his history in these words; having first turned his back towards the barber, lest he should see him.
“My father, who lived in Bagdad, was of a rank to aspire to the highest offices of state; but he preferred leading a quiet and tranquil life to all the honors he might deserve. I was his only child, and when he died, I had completed my education, and was of an age to dispose of the large possessions he had bequeathed me. I did not dissipate them in folly, but made such use of them as procured me the esteem of every one.
“I had not yet felt any tender passion, and far from being at all sensible to love, I will confess, perhaps to my shame, that I carefully avoided the society of women. One day, as I was walking in a street I saw a great number of ladies coming towards me; in order to avoid them, I turned into a little street that was before me, and sat down on a bench that was placed near a door. I was opposite to a window, where there was a number of very fine flowers, and my eyes were fixed on them, when the window opened and a lady appeared, whose beauty dazzled me. She cast her eyes on me, and watering the flowers, with a hand whiter than alabaster, she looked at me with a smile, which inspired me with as much love for her as I had hitherto had aversion towards the rest of her sex. After having watered her flowers, and bestowed on me another look full of charms, which completed the conquest of my heart, she shut the window, and left me in a state of pain and uncertainty which I cannot describe.
“I should have remained thus a considerable time, had not the noise I heard in the street brought me to my senses again. I turned my head as I got up, and saw, that it was one of the first cadis of the city, mounted on a mule, and accompanied by five or six of his people: he alighted at the door of the house where the young lady had opened the window, and went in, which made me suppose he was her father.
“I returned home in a state very different from that in which I had left it: agitated by a passion so much the more violent from its being the first attack. I went to bed with a raging fever, which caused great affliction in my household. My relations, who loved me, alarmed by so sudden an indisposition, came quickly to see me, and importuned me to acquaint them of the cause, but I was very careful to keep it secret. My silence increased their alarms, nor could the physicians dissipate their fears for my safety, because they knew nothing of my disease, which was only increased by the medicines they administered.
“My relations began to despair of my life, when an old lady of their acquaintance, being informed of my illness, arrived; she considered me with a great deal of attention, and after she had thoroughly examined me, she discovered, I know not by what chance, the cause of my disorder. She took them aside, and begged them to leave her alone with me, and to order my people to retire.
“The room being cleared, she seated herself near my pillow. ‘My son,’ said she, ‘you have hitherto persisted in concealing the cause of your illness; nor do I require you to confess it; I have sufficient experience to penetrate into this secret, and I am sure you will not disown what I am going to declare. It is love which occasions your indisposition. I can probably assist your cure, provided you will tell me who is the happy lady that has been able to wound a heart so insensible as yours; for you have the reputation of not liking the ladies, and I have not been the last to perceive it; however, what I foresaw is at last come to pass, and I shall be delighted if I can be of any service in releasing you from your pain.’
“The old lady having finished this speech, waited to hear my answer; but although it had made a strong impression on me, I did not dare to open my heart to her. I only turned towards her, and uttered a deep sigh, without saying a word. ‘Is it shame,’ continued she, ‘that prevents you from speaking, or is it want of confidence in my power to relieve you? Can you doubt the effects of my promise? I could mention to you an infinite number of young people of your acquaintance, who have endured the same pain that you do; and for whom I have obtained consolation.’
“In short, the good lady said so many things to me, that at length I broke silence, and declared to her the cause of my pain. I acquainted her with the place where I had seen the object that had given birth to it; and related all the circumstances of the adventure. ‘If you succeed,’ continued I, ‘and procure me the happiness of seeing this enchanting beauty, and of expressing to her the passion with which I burn, you may rely on my gratitude.’—‘My son,’ replied the old lady, ‘I know the person you mention; she is, as you justly suppose, the daughter of the principal cadi in this city. I am not surprised that you should love her; she is the most beautiful, as well as most amiable lady in Bagdad; but what grieves me is, she is very haughty, and difficult of access. You know, that many of our officers of justice are very exact, in making women observe the harsh laws which subject them to so irksome a restraint; they are still more strict in their own families, and the cadi you saw is himself alone more rigid on this point than all the others put together. As they are continually preaching to their daughters the enormity of the crime of showing themselves to men, the poor things are in general so cautious of being guilty of it, that, when necessity obliges them to walk in the streets, they make no use of their eyes, but to guide them on their way; I do not say, that this is absolutely the case with the daughter of the principal cadi; yet I am much afraid of having as great obstacles to overcome on her side, as on her father’s. Would to Heaven you loved any other lady! I should not have so many difficulties, as I foresee, to surmount. I will nevertheless employ all my address; but it will require time to succeed. At any rate take courage, and place confidence in me.’
“The old lady left me, and as I reflected with anxiety on all the obstacles she had represented to me, the fear that she would not succeed possessed me, and increased my disease. She returned the following day, and I soon read in her countenance, that she had no favourable intelligence to announce. She said, ‘My son, I was not mistaken; I have more to surmount than merely the vigilance of a father; you love an insensible object, who delights in letting those burn with unrequited passion, who suffer themselves to be charmed with her beauty; she will not allow them the least relief; she listened to me with pleasure, whilst I talked to her only of the pain she made you suffer; but no sooner did I open my mouth, to persuade her to allow you an interview, than she cast an angry look at me, and said, ‘You are very insolent to attempt to make such a proposition; and I desire you will never see me more, if it be only to hold such conversations as this!
“‘But let not that afflict you,’ continued the old lady, ‘I am not easily discouraged, and provided you do not lose your patience, I hope at last to accomplish my design.’ Not to protract my narration (said the young man) I will only say, that this good messenger made several fruitless attempts in my favor, with the haughty enemy of my peace. The vexation I endured, increased my disorder to such a degree, that the physicians gave me over. I was, therefore, considered as a man who was at the point at death, when the old lady came to give me new life.
“That no one might hear her, she whispered in my ear; ‘Think of the present you will make me for the good news I bring you.’ These words produced a wonderful effect; I raised myself in my bed, and replied with transport, ‘The present will not be deficient; what have you to tell me?’—‘My dear sir,’ resumed she, ‘you will not die this time, and I shall soon have the pleasure of seeing you in perfect health, and well satisfied with me; yesterday being Monday, I went to the lady you are in love with, and found her in very good humour; I at first put on a mournful countenance, uttered an abundance of sighs, and shed some tears. ‘My good mother,’ said she, ‘what is the matter? Why are you in such affliction?’—‘Alas! my dear and honorable lady,’ replied I, ‘I am just come from the young gentleman I spoke to you of the other day; it is all over with him; he is at the point of death, and all for love of you; it is a great pity, I assure you, and you are very cruel.’—‘I do not know,’ said she, ‘why you should accuse me of being the cause of his death: how can I have contributed to his illness?’—‘How?’ replied I, ‘did I not tell you, that he seated himself before your window, just as you opened it to water your flowers? He beheld this prodigy of beauty, these charms, which your mirror reflects every day; from that moment he has languished for you, and his disease is so augmented, that he is now reduced to the pitiable state I have had the honor of describing to you. You may remember, madam,’ continued I, ‘how rigorously you treated me lately, when I was going to tell you of his illness, and propose to you a method of relieving him from his dangerous condition; I returned to him after I left you, and he no sooner perceived, from my countenance, that I did not bring a favorable account, than his malady redoubled its violence. From that time, madam, he has been in the most imminent danger of death; and I do not know, whether you could now save his life, even if you were inclined to take pity on him.’
“‘This was what I said to her,’ added the old lady. ‘The fear of your death staggered her, and I saw her face change colour. ‘Is what you say to me quite true,’ said she, ‘and does his illness proceed only from his love of me?’—‘Ah, madam,’ replied I, ‘it is but too true: would to heaven it were false!’—‘And do you really think,’ resumed she, ‘that the hope of seeing and speaking to me could contribute to diminish the peril of his situation?’—‘It very likely may,’ said I, ‘and if you desire me, I will try this remedy.’—‘Well then,’ replied she, sighing, ‘let him hope that he may see me; but he must not expect any other favors, unless he aspires to marry me, and my father gives his consent!’—‘Madam,’ said I, ‘you are very good; I will go directly to this young gentleman, and announce to him, that he will have the pleasure of seeing and conversing with you.’—‘I do not know,’ said she, ‘that I can fix a more convenient time to do him this favor than on Friday next, during the mid-day prayer. Let him observe when my father goes out to attend at the mosque; and then let him come immediately before this house, if he is well enough to go abroad. I shall see him arrive, from my window, and will come down to let him in. We will converse together while the prayer lasts, and he will retire before my father returns.’
“‘This is Tuesday,’ continued the old lady, ‘between this and Friday you will be sufficiently recovered to encounter this interview.’ Whilst the good lady was talking, I felt my disorder diminish, or rather by the time she had concluded her discourse, I found myself quite recovered. ‘Take this,’ said I, giving her my purse, which was quite full, ‘to you alone I owe my cure; I think this money better employed than all I have given to the physicians, who have done nothing but torment me during my illness.’
“The lady having left me, I found myself sufficiently strong to get up. My relations, delighted to see me so much better, congratulated me on my recovery, and took their leave.
“Friday morning being arrived, the old lady came whilst I was dressing, and making choice of the handsomest dress my wardrobe contained. ‘I do not ask you,’ said she, ‘how you find yourself; the occupation you are engaged in sufficiently convinces me of what I am to think; but will not you bathe before you go to the principal cadi’s?’—‘That would take up too much time,’ replied I, ‘I shall content myself with sending for a barber to shave my head and beard.’ I then ordered one of my slaves to seek one who was expert in his business, as well as expeditious.
“The slave brought me this unlucky barber, who is here present. After having saluted me, he said, ‘Sir, by your countenance you seem to be unwell.’ I replied, that I was recovering from a very severe illness. ‘I wish God may preserve you from all kinds of evils,’ continued he, ‘and may his grace accompany you every where.’—‘I hope he will grant this wish,’ said I, ‘for which I am much obliged to you.’—‘As you are now recovering from illness,’ resumed he, ‘I pray God that he will preserve you in health. Now tell me what is your pleasure; I have brought my razors and my lancets; do you wish me to shave or to bleed you?’—‘Did I not tell you,’ returned I, ‘that I am recovering from illness? You may suppose, then, that I did not send for you to bleed me. Be quick and shave me, and do not lose time in talking, for I am in a hurry, and have an appointment precisely at noon.’
“The barber employed a great deal of time in undoing his apparatus and preparing his razors; instead of putting some water into his bason, he drew out of his case a very nice astrolabe, went out of my room, and walked into the middle of the court, with a sedate step, to take the height of the sun. He returned with the same gravity, and on entering the chamber, ‘You will, no doubt, be glad to learn, sir,’ said he, ‘that this Friday is the eighteenth day of the moon of Safar, in the year six hundred and fifty three,[6]since the retreat of our great prophet from Mecca to Medina, and in the year seven thousand three hundred and twenty,[7]of the epoch of the great Iskander with the two horns; and that the conjunction of Mars and Mercury signifies, that you cannot choose a better time than the present day and present hour to be shaved. But, on the other side, this conjunction forms a bad presage for you. It demonstrates to me, that you in this day will encounter a great danger; not indeed of losing your life, but of an inconvenience which will remain with you all your days; you ought to be obliged to me for advertising you to be careful of this misfortune; I should be sorry that it befel you.’
“Judge, gentlemen, of my vexation, at having fallen in the way of this chattering and ridiculous barber: what a mortifying delay for a lover, who was preparing for a tender meeting with his mistress! I was quite exasperated. ‘I care very little,’ said I angrily, ‘either for your advice or your predictions: I did not send for you to consult you on astrology; you came here to shave me; therefore either perform your office or take yourself away, that I may send for another barber.’
“‘Sir,’ replied he, in a tone so phlegmatic that I could scarcely contain myself, ‘What reason have you to be angry? Do not you know, that all barbers are not like me, and that you would not find another such, even if you had him made on purpose. You only asked for a barber, and in my person are united the best barber of Bagdad, an experienced physician, a profound chemist, a never-failing astrologer, a finished grammarian, a perfect rhetorician, a subtle logician; a mathematician, thoroughly accomplished in geometry, arithmetic, astronomy, and in all the refinements of algebra; an historian, who is acquainted with the history of all the kingdoms in the universe. Besides these sciences, I am well instructed in all the points of philosophy; and have my memory well stored with all our laws and all our traditions. I am a poet, an architect; but what am I not? There is nothing in nature concealed from me. Your late honored father, to whom I pay a tribute of tears every time I think of him, was fully convinced of my merit. He loved me, caressed me, and never ceased quoting me in all companies, as the first man in the whole world. My gratitude and friendship for him attaches me to you; and urges me to take you under my protection, and insure you from all the misfortunes with which the planets may threaten you.’
“At this speech, notwithstanding my anger, I could not help laughing. ‘When do you mean to have done, impertinent chatterer,’ cried I, ‘and when do you intend to begin shaving me?’
“‘Sir,’ replied the barber, ‘you do me an injury by calling me a chatterer: every one, on the contrary, bestows on me the honorable appellation of silent. I had six brothers, whom you might with some reason have termed chatterers, and that you may be acquainted with them, the eldest was named Bacbouc, the second Bakbarah, the third Bakbac, the fourth Alcouz, the fifth Alnaschar, and the sixth Shacabac. These were indeed most tiresome talkers, but I, who am the youngest of the family, am very grave and concise in my discourses.’
“Place yourselves in my situation, gentlemen; what could I do with so cruel a tormentor? ‘Give him three pieces of gold,’ said I to the slave who overlooked the expenses of my house, ‘and send him away, that I may be at peace; I will not be shaved to-day.’—‘Sir!’ cried the barber, at hearing this, ‘what am I to understand, sir, by these words? It was not I who came to seek you; it was you who ordered me to come; and that being the case, I swear by the faith of a musselman, that I will not quit your house till I have shaved you. If you do not know my worth, it is no fault of mine; your late honored father was more just to my merits. Every time, when he sent for me to bleed him, he used to make me sit down by his side, and then it was delightful to hear the clever things I entertained him with. I kept him in continual admiration; I enchanted him; and when I had done, ‘Ah!’ cried he, ‘you are an inexhaustible fund of science; no one can approach the profoundness of your knowledge.’—‘My dear sir,’ I used to reply, ‘you do me more honor than I deserve. If I say a good thing, I am indebted to you for the favorable hearing you are so good as to grant me: it is your liberality that inspires me with those sublime ideas which have the good fortune to meet your approbation.’ One day, when he was quite charmed with an admirable discourse I had just concluded, ‘Give him,’ cried he, ‘an hundred pieces of gold, and put him on one of my richest robes!’ I received this present immediately; and at the same instant I drew out his horoscope, which I found to be one of the most fortunate in the world. I carried the proofs of my gratefulness still farther, for I cupped him instead of bleeding him with a lancet.’
“He did not stop here; he began another speech which lasted a full half hour. Fatigued with hearing him, and vexed at finding the time pass without my getting forward, I knew not what more to say. ‘No indeed,’ at length I exclaimed, ‘it is not possible that there should exist, in the whole world, a man who takes greater delight in enraging people.’
“I then thought I might succeed better by gentle means. ‘In the name of God,’ I said to him, ‘leave off your fine speeches, and finish with me quickly: I have an affair of the greatest importance, which obliges me to go out, as I have already told you.’ At these words he began to laugh. ‘It would be very praiseworthy,’ said he, ‘if our minds were always wise and prudent; however, I am willing to believe, that, when you put yourself in a passion with me, it was your late illness which occasioned this change in your temper; on this account, therefore, you are in need of some instructions, and you cannot do better than follow the example of your father and your grandfather: they used to come and consult me in all their affairs; and I may safely say, without vanity, that they were always the better for my advice. Let me tell you, sir, that a man scarcely ever succeeds in any enterprise, if he has not recourse to the opinions of enlightened persons: no man becomes clever, says the proverb, unless he consults a clever man. I am entirely at your service, and you have only to command me.’
“‘Cannot I then persuade you,’ interrupted I, ‘to desist from these long speeches, which tend to no purpose but to distract my head, and prevent me from keeping my appointment: shave me directly, or leave my house.’ In saying this I arose, and angrily struck my foot against the ground.
“When he saw that I was really exasperated with him, ‘Sir,’ said he, ‘do not be angry; we are going to begin directly.’ In fact he washed my head, and began to shave me; but he had not made four strokes with his razor, when he stopped to say, ‘Sir, you are hasty; you should abstain from these gusts of passion, which only come from the devil. Besides which, I deserve that you should have some respect for me on account of my age, my knowledge, and my striking virtues.’
“‘Go on shaving me,’ said I, interrupting him again, ‘and speak no more,’—‘That is to say,’ replied he, ‘that you have some pressing affair on your hands; I’ll lay a wager that I am not mistaken.’—‘Why I told you so two hours ago,’ returned I, ‘you ought to have shaved me long since.’—‘Moderate your ardor,’ replied he, ‘perhaps you have not considered well of what you are going to do; when one does any thing precipitately, it is almost always a source of repentance. I wish you would tell me what this affair is, that you are in such haste about, and I will give you my opinion on it: you have plenty of time, for you are not expected till noon, and it will not be noon these three hours.’—‘That is nothing to me,’ said I, ‘people of honor, who keep their word, are always before the time appointed. But I perceive that in reasoning thus with you, I am imitating the faults of chattering barbers; finish shaving me quickly.’
“The more anxious I was for dispatch, the less so was he to obey me. He left his razor to take up his astrolabe; and when he put down his astrolabe he took up his razor.
“He got his astrolabe a second time, and left me half shaved to go and see what o’clock it was precisely. He returned. ‘Sir,’ said he, ‘I was certain I was not mistaken; it wants three hours to noon, I am well assured, or all the rules of astronomy are false.’—‘Gracious Heaven!’ cried I, ‘my patience is exhausted, I can hold out no longer. Cursed barber, ill-omen’d barber, I can hardly refrain from falling upon thee and strangling thee.’—‘Softly sir,’ said he coolly, and without showing any emotion and anger, ‘you seem to have no fear of bringing on your illness again; do not be so passionate and you shall be shaved in a moment.’ Saying this he put the astrolabe in his case, took his razor, which he sharpened on the strop that was fastened to his girdle, and began to shave me; but whilst he was shaving he could not help talking. ‘If you would, sir,’ said he, ‘inform me what this affair is, that will engage you at noon, I would give you some advice, which you might find serviceable.’ To satisfy him, I told him that some friends expected me at noon to regale me, and rejoice with me on my recovery.
“No sooner had the barber heard me mention a feast, than he exclaimed, ‘God bless you on this day as well as on every other; you bring to my mind, that yesterday I invited four or five friends to come and regale with me to-day; I had forgotten it, and have not made any preparations for them.’—‘Let not that embarrass you,’ said I; ‘although I am going out, my table is always well supplied, and I make you a present of all that is intended for it to-day; I will also give you as much wine as you want, for I have some excellent in my cellar; but then you must be quick in finishing to shave me; and remember that instead of making you presents to hear you talk, as my father did, I give them to you to be silent.’
“He was not content to rely on my word. ‘May God recompense you,’ cried he, ‘for the favor you do me; but show me directly these provisions, that I may judge if there will be enough to regale my friends handsomely; for I wish them to be satisfied with the good cheer I shall give them.’—‘I have,’ said I, ‘a lamb, six capons, a dozen of fowls, and sufficient for four courses.’ I gave orders to a slave to produce all that, together with four large jugs of wine. ‘This is well,’ replied the barber, ‘but we shall want some fruit, and something for sauce to the meat.’ I desired what he wanted to be given him. He left off shaving me to examine each thing separately, and as this examination took up nearly half an hour, I stamped and swore; but I might amuse myself as I pleased, the rascal did not hurry a bit the more. At length, however, he again took up the razor and shaved for a few minutes, then stopping suddenly, ‘I should never have supposed, sir,’ said he, ‘that you had been of so liberal a turn; I begin to discover, that your late father, of honored memory, lives a second time in you; certainly I did not deserve the favors you heap on me; and I assure you, that I shall retain an eternal sense of the obligation; for, sir, that you may know it in future, I will tell you that I have nothing but what I get from generous people like yourself, in which I resemble Zantout, who rubs people at the bath, and Sali, who sells little burnt peas about the streets, and Salouz, who sells beans and Akerscha, who sells herbs, and Abou Mekares, who waters the streets to lay the dust, and Cassem, who belongs to the caliph’s guard: all these people give no reception to melancholy; they are neither sorrowful nor quarrelsome; better satisfied with their fortune than the caliph himself in the midst of his court, they are always gay and ready to dance and sing; and they have each their peculiar dance and song, with which they entertain the whole city of Bagdad; but what I esteem the most in them is, that they are none of them great talkers any more than your slave, who has the honor of speaking to you. Here, sir, I will give you the song and the dance of Zantout, who rubs the people at the bath; look at me, and you will see an exact imitation.’
“The barber sung the song and danced the dance of Zantout, and notwithstanding all I could say to make him cease his buffoonery, he would not stop till he had imitated in the same way all those he had mentioned. After that, ‘Sir,’ said he, ‘I am going to invite all these good people to my house, and if you will take my advice, you will be of our party, and leave your friends, who are perhaps great talkers, and will only disturb you by their tiresome conversations, and will make you relapse into an illness still worse than that from which you are just recovered; instead of which, at my house, you will only enjoy pleasure.’
“Notwithstanding my anger, I could not avoid laughing at his folly. ‘I wish,’ said I, ‘that I had no other engagement, and I would gladly accept your proposal; I would with all my heart make one of your jolly set, but I must entreat you to excuse me, I am too much engaged to-day; I shall be more at liberty another day, and we will have this party: finish shaving me, and hasten to return, for perhaps your friends are already arrived.’—‘Sir,’ replied he, ‘do not refuse me the favor I ask of you. Come and amuse yourself with the good company I shall have; if you had once been with such people, you would have been so pleased with them, that you would give up your friends for them.’—‘Say no more about it,’ said I; ‘I cannot be present at your feast.’
“I gained nothing by gentleness. ‘Since you will not come with me,’ replied the barber, ‘you must allow me then to accompany you. I will go home with the provisions you have given me; my friends shall eat of them if they like; and I will return immediately. I cannot commit such an incivility as to suffer you to go alone; you deserve this piece of complaisance on my part.’—‘Good heaven,’ exclaimed I, on hearing this,’ am I then condemned to bear this whole day so tormenting a creature! In the name of the great God,’ said I to him, ‘finish your tiresome speeches; go to your friends; eat and drink, and entertain yourselves, and leave me at liberty to go to mine. I will go alone, and do not want any one to accompany me; and indeed if you must know the truth, the place where I am going is not one in which you can be received; I only can be admitted.’—‘You are joking, sir,’ replied he, ‘if your friends have invited you to an entertainment, what reason can prevent me from accompanying you? You will give them great pleasure, I am sure, by taking with you a man like me, who has the art of entertaining a company and making them merry. Say what you will, sir, I am resolved to go in spite of you.’
“These words, gentlemen, threw me into the greatest embarrassment. ‘How can I possibly contrive to get rid of this infernal barber,’ thought I to myself. ‘If I continue obstinately to contradict him, our contest will never be finished. I have already waited till they have called the people to noon prayers for the first time,’ and as it was now almost the moment to set out, I determined, therefore, not to answer him a single word, and to appear as if I agreed to every thing he said. He finished shaving me, and he had no sooner done, than I said to him, ‘Take some of my people with you to carry these provisions home; then return here; I will wait, and not go without you.’
“He then went out, and I finished dressing myself as quickly as possible. I only waited till they called to prayers for the last time, when I hastened to commence my expedition; but this malicious barber, who seemed aware of my intentions, was satisfied with accompanying my people only within sight of his own house, and seeing them go in. He afterwards concealed himself at the corner of the street, to observe and follow me. In short, when I got to the door of the cadi, I turned round, and perceived him at the end of the street. This sight put me into the greatest rage.
“The cadi’s door was half open, and when I went in, I saw the old lady who was waiting for me, and who, as soon as she had shut the door, conducted me to the apartment of the young lady with whom I was so much in love. But I had hardly began to enter into any conversation with her, before we heard a great noise in the street. The young lady ran to the window, and looking through the blinds, perceived that it was the cadi, her father, who was already returning from prayers. I looked out at the same time, and saw the barber seated exactly opposite, and on the same bench from whence I had beheld the lady the first time.
“I had now two subjects for alarm, the arrival of the cadi, and the presence of the barber. The young lady dissipated my fears on the first, by telling me, that her father very rarely came up into her apartment; and as she had foreseen, that such an interruption might take place, she had prepared the means for my escape, in case of necessity; but the indiscretion of that unlucky barber caused me great uneasiness, and you will soon perceive that this disquietude was not without foundation.
“As soon as the cadi was returned home he himself inflicted the bastinado on a slave who had deserved it. The slave uttered loud cries, which were distinguishable even in the street. The barber thought I was the person whom they were treating ill, and that these were my cries. Fully persuaded of this, he began to call out as loud as he could, to tear his clothes, throw dust upon his head, and call for help to all the neighbours, who soon ran out to him. They inquired what was the matter, and what assistance they could give him. ‘Alas!’ cried he, ‘they are assassinating my master, my dear lord,’ and without saying another word, he ran to my house, crying out in the same way, and returned, followed by all my servants armed with sticks. They knocked furiously at the door of the cadi, who sent a slave to know what the noise was about; but the slave, quite frightened, returned to his master, ‘My lord,’ said he, ‘above ten thousand men will come into your house by force, and are already beginning to break open the door.’
“The cadi ran himself to the door, and inquired what they wanted. His venerable appearance did not inspire my people with any respect, and they insolently addressed him, ‘Cursed cadi! you dog! for what reason are you going to murder our master? What has he done to you?’—‘My good people,’ replied the cadi, ‘why should I murder your master, whom I do not know, and who has never offended me? My door is open, you may come in and search my house.’—‘You have given him the bastinado,’ said the barber, ‘I heard his cries not a minute ago.’—‘But,’ replied the cadi, ‘as I said before, in what can your master have offended me, that I should ill-treat him thus? Is he in my house? and if he is, how could he get in, or who could have introduced him?’—‘You will not make me believe you, with your great beard, you wicked cadi,’ resumed the barber, ‘I know what I say. Your daughter loves our master, and appointed a meeting in your house during the mid-day prayers; you no doubt received information of it, and returned quickly; you surprised him here, and ordered your slaves to give him the bastinado; but this wicked action shall not remain unpunished; the caliph shall be informed of it, and will execute a severe and speedy sentence on you. Give him his liberty, and let him come out directly, otherwise we will go in and take him from you to your shame.’—‘There is no occasion to say so much about it,’ said the cadi, ‘nor to make such a bustle; if what you say is true, you have only to go in and search for him; I give you full permission.’ The cadi had scarcely spoken these words, when the barber and my people burst into the house, like a set of furious madmen, and began to seek for me in every corner.
“As I heard every thing the barber said to the cadi, I endeavoured to find out some place to conceal myself in. I was unable to discover any other than a large empty chest, into which I immediately got, and shut the lid down upon me. After the barber had searched every other place, he did not fail coming into the apartment where I was. He went directly to the chest, and opened it; and as soon as he perceived that I was in it, he took it up and carried it away upon his head. He descended from the top of the staircase, which was very high, into a court, through which he quickly passed, and at last reached the street-door.
“As he was carrying me along the street, the lid of the chest unfortunately opened: I had not resolution enough to bear the shame and disgrace of being thus exposed to the populace who followed us; I jumped down, therefore, into the street in such a hurry, that I hurt myself violently, and have been lame ever since. I did not at first perceive the full extent of my misfortune; I therefore made haste to get up and run away from the people who were laughing at me. At the same time, I scattered a handful or two of gold and silver, with which I had filled my purse, and while they were stopping to pick it up, I made my escape by passing through several private streets. But the cursed barber, taking advantage of the trick which I had made use of to get rid of the crowd, followed me so closely, that he never once lost sight of me; and all the time he continued calling aloud, ‘Stop, sir, why do you run so fast? You know not how much I have felt for you, on account of the ill usage you have received from the cadi; and well I might, as you have been so generous to me and my friends, and we are under such obligations to you. Did I not truly inform you, that you would endanger your life through your obstinacy in not suffering me to accompany you? All this has happened to you through your own fault; and I know not what would have become of you, if I had not obstinately determined to follow you, and observe which way you went. Where then, my lord, are you running? Pray wait for me.’
“It was in this manner that the unlucky barber kept calling out to me all through the street. He was not satisfied with having scandalized me so completely in the quarter of the town where the cadi resided, but seemed to wish that the whole city should become acquainted with my disgrace. This put me into such a rage, that I could have stopped and strangled him, but that would only have increased my distraction. I therefore went another way to work. As I perceived, that by his calling out, the eyes of every one were attracted towards me, some looking out of the windows, and others stopping in the street to stare at me; I went into a khan,[8]the master of which was known to me. I found him indeed at the door, where the noise and uproar had brought him. ‘In the name of God,’ I cried, ‘do me the favor to prevent that mad fellow from following me in here.’ He not only promised me to do so, but he kept his word; although it was not without great difficulty: for the obstinate barber attempted to force an entrance in spite of him. Nor did he retire before he uttered a thousand abusive words: and he continued to tell every one he met, till he reached his own house, the very great service he pretended to have done me.
“It was thus that I got rid of this tiresome man. The master of the khan then entreated me to give him an account of my adventure. I did so; after which I asked him, in my turn, to let me have an apartment in his house till I was quite cured. ‘You will be much better accommodated, sir,’ he said, ‘in your own house.’—‘I do not wish to return there,’ I answered, ‘for that detestable barber will not fail to find me out, I shall then be pestered with him every day; and it would absolutely kill me with vexation, to have him constantly before my eyes. Besides, after what has happened to me this day, I am determined not to remain any longer in this city. I will wander wherever my ill-stars may direct me.’ In short, as soon as I was cured, I took as much money as I thought would be sufficient for my journey, and gave the remainder of my fortune to my relations.
“I then set out from Bagdad, gentlemen, and arrived here. I had every reason, at least to hope that I should not have met with this mischievous barber, in a country so distant from my own; and I now discover him in your company. Be not therefore surprised at my anxiety and eagerness to retire. You may judge of the painful sensations the sight of this man causes me, by whose means I became lame, and was reduced to the dreadful necessity of giving up my relations, my friends, and my country.”
Having made this speech, the lame young man got up and went out. The master of the house conducted him to the door, assuring him, that it gave him great pain to have been the cause, though innocently, of so great a mortification.
When the young man was gone, (continued the tailor,) we still remained very much astonished at his history. We cast our eyes towards the barber, and told him, that he had done wrong; if what we had just heard was true. “Gentlemen,” answered he, raising his head, which he had till now kept towards the ground, “the silence, which I have imposed upon myself, while this young man was telling you his story, ought to prove to you, that he has advanced nothing that was not the fact; notwithstanding, however, all that he has told you, I still maintain that I ought to have done what I did; and I leave you yourselves to judge of it. Was he not thrown into a situation of great danger, and without my assistance would he so fortunately have escaped from it? He may, indeed, think himself very happy to have got free from it with only a lame leg. Was I not exposed to a much greater danger, in order to get him from a house where I thought he was so ill treated? Has he then reason to complain of me, and to attack me with so many injurious reproaches? You see what we get by serving ungrateful people. He accuses me of being a chatterer: it is mere calumny. Of seven brothers, of whom our family consists, I am the very one who speaks least, and yet who possesses the most wit. In order to convince you of it, Gentlemen, I have only to relate their history and my own to you. I entreat you to favour me with your attention.
During the reign of the Caliph Mostanser Billah,[9]a prince so famous for his great liberality towards the poor, there were ten robbers, who very much infested the roads in the neighbourhood of Bagdad; and were for a long time guilty of great depredations and horrible cruelties. The caliph having been informed of this great outrage, ordered the judge of the police some days before the feast of Bairam to come to him: and commanded him, under pain of death, to bring them all ten before him. The judge of the police was very active; and sent out so many of his men into the country, that the ten robbers were taken on the very day of the feast. I happened to be walking at that time on the banks of the Tigris, where I observed ten very well dressed men, who embarked on board a boat. I should have known that they had been robbers, if I had paid any attention to the guard who accompanied them: but I observed only the robbers themselves; and thinking that they were men, who were going to enjoy themselves and pass this day in festivity, I got into the boat at the same time with them, without saying a word; in hopes that they would suffer me to accompany them. We rowed down the Tigris, and they made us land at the caliph’s palace. By this time, I had an opportunity of recollecting myself; and perceiving that I had formed a wrong opinion of my companions. When we got out of the boat, we were surrounded by a fresh party of the guards belonging to the judge of the police, who bound us and carried us before the caliph. I suffered myself to be bound like the rest, still without saying a word: for what use would it have been to me, either to have remonstrated, or to have made any resistance? It would only have been the cause of my being ill-treated by the guards, who would have paid no attention to me; for they are brutes, who will not hear reason. I was, in fact, with the robbers, and that was quite enough for them to believe, that I really was one.
As soon as we were come before the caliph, he ordered these ten rascals to be punished. “Strike off,” said he, “the heads of these ten robbers. The executioner immediately ranged us in a line within reach of his arm, and fortunately I was the very last. He then, beginning with the first, struck off the heads of the ten robbers; but when he came to me he stopped. The caliph observing, that the executioner did not cut off my head, called out in anger, “Have I not ordered thee to cut off the heads of the ten robbers? Why then hast thou cut off only nine?”—“Commander of the Faithful,” replied the executioner, “God forbid, that I should not execute your majesty’s orders. You may see here ten bodies on the ground, and as many heads, which I have cut off.” He then counted them. When the caliph himself saw that the executioner was right, he looked at me with astonishment; and finding that I did not possess the countenance of a robber,—“My good old man,” said he, “by what accident were you found among these wretches, who deserved a thousand deaths?”—“Commander of the Faithful,” I replied, “I will tell you the absolute truth: I this morning saw these ten persons, whose punishment is an illustrious proof of your majesty’s justice, get into a boat: being fully persuaded, that they were people, who were going to enjoy themselves in a party to celebrate this day, which is the most distinguished of our religion, I embarked with them.”
The caliph could not help laughing at my adventure; and, quite contrary to the lame young man, who treated me as a babbler, he admired my discretion and power of keeping silence. “Commander of the Faithful,” said I to him, “let not your majesty be astonished, if I hold my tongue upon any occasion, when another person would have been most anxious to have spoken. I make it my particular study to practise silence, and it is from the possession of this virtue, that I have acquired the glorious title of the silent man. I am called thus, in order to distinguish me from six brothers of mine. It is an art, which my philosophy has taught me; in short, this virtue is the cause of all my glory and my happiness.”—“I heartily rejoice,” answered the caliph, smiling, “that they have bestowed a title upon you, of which you make so excellent a use. But inform me what sort of men your brothers were: did they at all resemble you?”—“Not in the least;” I answered, “they were every one chatterers; and in person there was the greatest difference between us. The first was hunch-backed; the second was toothless; the third had but one eye; the fourth was quite blind; the fifth had his ears cut off: the sixth was hare-lipped. The various adventures which happened to them would enable your majesty to judge of their characters, if I might have the honour to relate them.” As I thought the caliph wished for nothing better than to hear them, I went on without waiting for his answer.
My eldest brother, Sire, who was called Bacbouc the hunchback, was a tailor by trade. As soon as his apprenticeship was finished, he hired a shop, which happened to be opposite a mill; and as he had not yet got a great deal of business, he found some difficulty in getting a livelihood. The miller, on the contrary, was very comfortably off; and had also a very beautiful wife. As my brother was one morning working in his shop, he happened to look up and perceived the window of the mill open, and the miller’s wife looking into the street. He thought her so very handsome, that he was quite enchanted with her; she, however, paid not the least attention to him, but shut the window, and did not make her appearance any more that day.
In the mean time the poor tailor did nothing but lift up his head, and kept looking towards the mill all the time he was at work. The consequence was, that he pricked his fingers very often, and his work was not that day so neat and regular as usual. When the evening came, and he was forced to shut up his shop, he had hardly resolution to set about it, because he still hoped he should again see the miller’s wife. It was, however, at length absolutely necessary for him to shut it up and retire to his small house, where he passed a very bad night. The next morning he got up very early, and ran to his shop; so impatient was he to behold his mistress. But he was not more fortunate than the day before, for the miller’s wife looked out only for one instant during the whole day. That instant, however, was quite sufficient to render him the most amorous of men. On the third he had, indeed, more reason to be satisfied, for the miller’s wife accidentally cast her eyes upon him, and actually surprised him attentively surveying her; this readily informed her of what passed in his bosom.
She had no sooner thus got acquainted with his sentiments, than she resolved, instead of being angry or vexed at it, to amuse herself with my brother. She looked at him with a smiling air, which he returned in the same manner, but so humourously, that she was obliged to shut the window as quick as possible, for fear her loud fits of laughter should make him suppose she was turning him into ridicule. Bacbouc was so innocent, that he interpreted this conduct in his own favour; and flattered himself, that she had looked upon him with pleasure.
The miller’s wife then resolved to gratify her inclination for humour at my brother’s expence. She happened to have a piece of handsome stuff, which she had for a long time intended to have made into a dress. She wrapped it up therefore in a beautiful handkerchief, embroidered with silk, and sent it to the tailor by a young female slave of hers. This slave being instructed for the purpose, came to his shop, and said, “My mistress sends her salutations to you, and desires you to make a dress out of this piece of stuff that I have brought, according to the pattern that is along with it. She very often alters her dress, and you will be very well pleased with her custom. My brother did not for a moment doubt but that the miller’s wife was in love with him. He thought that she had given him this employment so soon after what had passed between them, only to show that she was well acquainted with the state of his heart, and to assure him of the progress he had made in her affections. Impressed with this good opinion of himself, he desired the slave to tell her mistress, that he would put aside every other business for hers, and that the dress should be ready by the next morning. He worked, in short, with so much diligence and assiduity, that the dress was finished that very day.
The next morning the young slave came to see if the dress was finished. Bacbouc immediately gave it her, neatly folded up, and said, “I have too great an interest to oblige your mistress to neglect her dress; and I wish, by my diligence, to persuade her to employ no one else but myself.” The slave then walked a few steps, as if she was going away; but suddenly turning back, she said in a low voice to my brother, “I had nearly forgotten, by the by, to execute one of my commissions; my mistress charged me to make her compliments to you, and to ask you how you had passed the night; as for her, she, poor lady, is so much in love with you that she has not slept a wink.”—“Tell her,” answered my poor simpleton of a brother, in a transport, “that my passion for her is so violent, I have not closed my eyes these four nights.” After this kind speech from the miller’s wife, he flattered himself she would not let him languish a long time in expectation only of her favors.
The slave had not left my brother above a quarter of an hour, before he saw her return with a piece of satin. “My mistress,” said she, “is quite satisfied with her dress, which fits her as well as possible; but as it is very handsome, and she is desirous of wearing it only with a new pair of drawers, she entreats you to make her a pair as soon as possible, out of this piece of satin.”—“It is sufficient,” answered Bacbouc, “it shall be done before I leave my shop to-day; and you have only to come and fetch it in the evening.” The miller’s wife showed herself very often to my brother from the window, and was prodigal of her charms in order to encourage him to work. It was quite a treat to see him stitching. The drawers were soon made, and the slave came to take them; but she brought the tailor no money, either for what he had laid out in the trimmings for both the dress and the drawers, or to pay him for making of either. In the mean time this unfortunate lover, who thus diverted them, without knowing he was made a fool of, had eaten nothing the whole of that day; and was obliged to borrow some money to purchase a supper.
The day following, as soon as he was come to his shop, the young slave came to him, and told him the miller wished to speak to him. “My mistress,” added she, “has shown him your work, and has said so much in your favor, that he also wants you to work for him. She has acted thus, because she wishes that the intercourse and connection which thus will be formed between you and him, should be a means of enabling you both to succeed in what you so much desire. My brother was easily persuaded of this, and went with the slave to the mill. The miller gave him a good reception, and showing him a piece of cloth, “I have occasion,” said he, “for some shirts, and wish you to make me twenty out of this piece of cloth: if there be any remain you will bring it back.”
My brother was obliged to work for five or six days before he finished the twenty shirts for the miller; who, immediately after, gave him another piece of cloth to make him as many pair of drawers. When they were finished, Bacbouc carried them to the miller, who asked him what was his demand for his trouble. My brother upon this said, that he should be satisfied with twenty drachms of silver. The miller immediately called the young slave, and ordered her to bring the scales, to see if the money he was going to pay was weight. The slave, who knew her part, looked at my brother angrily, to make him understand, that he would spoil every thing if he received the money. He understood her very well; and therefore refused to take any of the silver, although he was so much in want of it, that he had been obliged to borrow some in order to purchase the thread, with which he had made the shirts and the drawers. When he left the miller, he came directly to me, and entreated me to lend him a trifle to buy some food, telling me that his customers did not pay him. I gave him some copper money which I had in my purse, upon which he lived for some days. It is true, he eat only broth, nor even with that did he ever get a sufficient meal.
My brother one day went into the miller’s, who was busy about his mill; and thinking my brother might come to ask for his money, he offered it him: but the young slave, who was present, again, by signs to him, prevented his accepting any, and made him tell the miller in answer, that he did not come on that account, but only to inquire after his health. The miller thanked him for his kindness, and gave him an outside robe to make. Bacbouc brought it home the next day: when the miller took out his purse: but the young slave coming in at that moment, looked at my brother, who then said to the miller; “There is no hurry, neighbour, we will settle the business another time.” Thus the poor dupe returned to his shop with three great evils; he was in love, he was hungry, and he was pennyless.
The miller’s wife was both avaricious and wicked. She was not satisfied with preventing my brother from receiving what was due to him, but she excited her husband to revenge himself for the love which the tailor professed for her; the means which they took were the following. The miller invited Bacbouc one evening to supper; and after having treated him with but indifferent fare, he thus addressed him: “It is too late, brother, for you to return home; you had much better, therefore, sleep here.” After having thus spoken, he showed him a place where there was a bed; and having left him there, he returned, and went with his wife to the room where they were accustomed to sleep. In the middle of the night the miller came back to my brother, he called out to him, “are you asleep, neighbour? My mule is taken suddenly ill, and I have a great deal of corn to grind; you will therefore do me a very great favor if you would turn the mill in his place.” To prove to him that he was a man willing to oblige him, he answered that he was ready to render him this service if he would only show him how he was to set about it. The miller then fastened him by the middle of his body, like a mule, to make him turn the mill; and immediately giving him a good cut upon the loins with the whip, “Get on neighbour,” he cried. “Why do you strike me?” answered my brother.—“It is only to encourage you;” replied the miller, “for without that my mule will not stir a step.” Bacbouc was astonished at this treatment; nevertheless he durst not complain of it. When he had gone five or six rounds, he wished to rest himself, but the miller immediately gave him a dozen sharp cuts with the whip; calling out, “Courage neighbour, don’t stop, I entreat you: you must go on without taking breath, otherwise you will spoil my flour.”
The miller thus obliged my brother to turn the mill during the rest of the night. And as soon as daylight appeared, he went away without unfastening him, and returned to his wife’s chamber. Bacbouc remained some time in this situation. At last the young slave came, who untied him; “Alas! how my good mistress and myself have pitied you,” cried the cunning slave, “we are not at all to blame for what you have suffered; we have had no share in the wicked trick which her husband has played you.” The unfortunate Bacbouc answered not a word, so much was he fatigued and bruised with the beating. He got, however, back to his own house, and firmly resolved to think no more of the miller’s wife. The recital of this history, continued the barber, made the caliph laugh, “Go,” said he to me, “return home; they shall give you something, by my order, to console you for having lost the festivities which you expected.”—“Commander of the Faithful,” replied I, “I entreat your majesty not to think of giving me any thing till I have related the histories of my other brothers.” The caliph having shown, by his silence, that he was disposed to listen to me, I continued as follows:
My second brother, who was called Bakbarah, the toothless, walking one day through the city, met an old woman in a retired street. She thus accosted him. “I have,” said she, “a word to say to you, if you will stay a moment.” He immediately stopped, and asked her what she wished. “If you have time to go with me,” she replied, “I will carry you to a most magnificent palace, where you shall see a lady more beautiful than the day. She will receive you with a great deal of pleasure; and will treat you with a collation and excellent wine. I have no occasion, I believe, to say any more.”—“But is what you tell me,” replied my brother, “true?”—“I am not given to lying,” replied the old woman. “I propose nothing to you but what is the fact. You must, however, pay attention to what I require of you. You must be prudent, speak little, and you must comply with every thing.” Bakbarah having agreed to the conditions, she walked on before, and he followed her. They arrived at the gate of a large palace, where there were a great number of officers and servants. Some of them wished to stop my brother, but the old woman no sooner spoke to them, than they let him pass. She then turned to my brother and said, “Remember, that the young lady to whose house I have brought you, is fond of mildness and modesty; nor does she like being contradicted. If you satisfy her in this, there is no doubt but you will obtain from her whatever you wish.” Bakbarah thanked her for this advice, and promised to profit by it.
She then carried him into a very beautiful apartment, which formed part of a square building. It corresponded with the magnificence of the palace: there was a gallery all round it; and in the midst of it was a very fine garden. The old woman made him sit down on a sofa that was handsomely furnished; and desired him to wait there a moment, till she went to inform the young lady of his arrival.
As my brother had never before been in so superb a place, he immediately began to observe all the beautiful things that were in sight; and judging of his good fortune by the magnificence he beheld, he could hardly contain his joy. He almost immediately heard a great noise, which came from a long troop of slaves, who were enjoying themselves, and came towards him, bursting out at the same time into violent fits of laughter. In the midst of them he perceived a young lady of most extraordinary beauty, whom he discovered to be their mistress, by the attention they paid her. Bakbarah, who expected merely a private conversation with the lady, was very much surprised at the arrival of so large a company. In the mean time, the slaves putting on a serious air, approached him; and when the young lady was near the sofa, my brother, who had risen up, made a most profound reverence. She took the seat of honor, and then, having requested him to resume his, she said to him in a smiling manner:—“I am delighted to see you, and wish you every thing you can yourself desire.”—“Madam,” replied Bakbarah, “I cannot wish a greater honor than that of appearing before you.”—“You seem to me,” she replied, “of so good-humoured a disposition, that we shall pass our time very agreeably together.
She immediately ordered a collation, to be served up; and they covered the table with baskets of various fruits and sweetmeats. She then sat down at the table along with my brother and the slaves. As it happened that he was placed directly opposite to her, as soon as he opened his mouth to eat, she observed he had no teeth; she remarked this to her slaves, and they all laughed immoderately at it. Bakbarah, who from time to time raised his head to look at the lady, and saw that she was laughing, imagined it was from the pleasure she felt at being in his company; and flattered himself, therefore, that she would soon order the slaves to retire, and that he should enjoy her conversation in private. The lady easily guessed his thoughts, and took a pleasure in continuing a delusion which seemed so agreeable to him: she said a thousand soft tender things to him; she presented the best of every thing to him with her own hand.
When the collation was finished, she arose from table: ten slaves instantly took some musical instruments, and began to play and sing; the others to dance. In order to make himself the more agreeable, my brother also began dancing, and the young lady herself partook of the amusement. After they had danced for sometime, they all sat down to take breath. The lady ordered them to bring her a glass of wine, then cast a smile at my brother, to intimate that she was going to drink his health. He instantly rose up and stood while she drank. As soon as she had finished, instead of returning the glass, she had it filled again, and presented it to my brother, that he might pledge her.
Bakbarah took the glass, and in receiving it from the young lady, he kissed her hand; then drank to her, standing the whole time, to show his gratitude for the favor she had done him. After this, the young lady made him sit down by her side, and began to give him signs of affection. She put her arm round his neck, and frequently gave him gentle pats with her hand. Delighted with these favors, he thought himself the happiest man in the world; he also was tempted to begin to play in the same manner with this charming person, but he durst not take this liberty before the slaves, who had their eyes upon him, and who continued to laugh at this trifling. The young lady still kept giving him such gentle taps; at last she began to apply them so forcibly, that he grew angry at it. He reddened, and got up to sit further from so rude a playfellow. At this moment, the old woman who had brought my brother there, looked at him in such a way as to make him understand that he was wrong, and had forgotten the advice she had before given him. He acknowledged his fault; and to repair it, he again approach the young lady, pretending that he had not gone to a distance through anger. She then took hold of him by the arm, and drew him towards her; making him again sit down close by her, and continuing to bestow a thousand pretended caresses on him. Her slaves, whose only aim was to divert her, began to take a part in the sport. One of them gave poor Bakbarah a fillip on the nose with all her strength; another pulled his ears almost off, while the rest kept giving him slaps; which passed the limits of raillery and fun.
My brother bore all this with the most exemplary patience: he even affected an air of gaiety; and looked at the old woman with a forced smile. “You were right,” said he, “when you said that I should find a very fine, agreeable, and charming young lady. How much am I obliged to you for it!”—“Oh, this is nothing yet,” replied the old woman, “let her alone, and you will see a very different thing by and by.”—The young lady then spoke: “You are a brave man,” said she to my brother, “and I am delighted at finding in you so much kindness and complaisance towards all my little fooleries, and that you possess a disposition so conformable to mine.”—“Madam,” replied Bakbarah, ravished with this speech, “I am no longer myself, but am entirely at your disposal; you have full power to do with me as you please.”—“You afford me the greatest happiness,” added the lady, “by showing so much submission to my inclination. I am perfectly satisfied with you; and I wish that you should be equally so with me. Bring,” cried she to the attendants, “perfumes and rose-water.” At these words two slaves went out and instantly returned, one with a silver vase, in which there was exquisite aloe-wood, with which she perfumed him, and the other with rose-water, which she sprinkled over his face and hands. My brother could not contain himself for joy, at seeing himself so handsomely and honorably treated.
When this ceremony was finished, the young lady commanded the slaves, who had before sung and played, to recommence their concerts. They obeyed, and while this was going on, the lady called another slave, and ordered her to take my brother with her, saying, “you know what to do, and when you have finished, return with him to me.” Bakbarah, who heard this order given, immediately got up, and going towards the old woman, who had also risen to accompany the slave, he requested her to tell him what they wished him to do. “Our mistress,” replied she, in a whisper, “is extremely curious; and she wishes to see how you would look disguised as a female; this slave, therefore, has orders to take you with her, to paint your eyebrows, shave your mustachios, and dress you like a woman.”—“You may paint my eyebrows,” said my brother, “as much as you please; to that I readily agree, because I can wash them again; but as to shaving me, that, mind you, I will by no means suffer. How do you think I dare appear without my mustachios?”—“Take care,” answered the woman, “how you oppose any thing that is required of you. You will quite spoil your fortune, which is going on as prosperously as possible. She loves you, and wishes to make you happy. Will you, for the sake of a paltry mustachio, forego the most delicious favors any man can possibly enjoy?”
Bakbarah at length yielded to the old woman’s arguments; and, without saying another word, he suffered the slave to conduct him to an apartment, where they painted his eyebrows red. They shaved his mustachios, and were absolutely going to shave his beard. But the easiness of my brother’s temper did not carry him quite so far as to suffer that. “Not a single stroke,” he exclaimed, “shall you take at my beard.” The slave represented to him, that it was of no use to have cut off his mustachios, if he would not also agree to lose his beard: that a hairy countenance did not at all coincide with the dress of a woman; and that she was astonished, that a man who was on the very point of possessing the most beautiful woman in Bagdad, should care for his beard. The old woman also joined with the slave, and added fresh reasons; she threatened my brother with being quite in disgrace with her mistress. In short, she said so much, that he at last permitted them to do what they wished.
As soon as they had dressed him like a woman, they brought him back to the young lady, who burst into so violent a fit of laughter at the sight of him, that she fell down on the sofa in which she was sitting. The slaves all began to clap their hands, so that my brother was put quite out of countenance. The young lady then got up, and continuing to laugh all the time, said, “After the complaisance you have shown to me, I should be guilty of a crime not to bestow my whole heart upon you; but it is necessary that you should do one thing more for love of me; it is only to dance before me as you are.” He obeyed; and the young lady and the slaves danced with him, laughing all the while, as if they were crazy. After they had danced for some time, they all threw themselves upon the poor wretch, and gave him so many blows, both with their hands and feet, that he fell down almost fainting. The old woman came to his assistance, and without giving him time to be angry at such ill-treatment, she whispered in his ear, “Console yourself, for you are now arrived at the conclusion of your sufferings, and are about to receive the reward for them. You have only one thing more to do,” added she, “and that is a mere trifle. You must know that my mistress makes it her custom, whenever she has drank a little, as she has done to-day, not to suffer any one she loves to come near her, unless they are stripped to their shirt. When they are in this situation, she takes advantage of a short distance, and begins running before them through the gallery, and from room to room, till they have caught her. This is one of her fancies. Now, at whatever distance from you she may start, you, who are so light and active, can easily overtake her. Undress yourself, therefore, quickly, and remain in your shirt, and do not make any difficulty about it.”