She further designates one of the ushers to be master of ceremonies, and should instruct him minutely as to the details she desires carried out-how the wedding party shall enter the church, proceed up the aisle, etc.
A few days before the wedding she gives a dinner to the bridesmaids and maid of honor, who take this opportunity to examine the trousseau. The ushers, best man, and groom may come after the dinner to attend the wedding rehearsal. These rehearsals should be gone through carefully, and if they can be held at the church so much the better. Each person should be instructed by note as to their duties, as this prevents confusion.
CHURCH. On the wedding-day, after receivingthe bridesmaids and maid of honor at herhouse, she goes to the church with her father(or nearest male relative), and leans upon hisarm as they proceed up the aisle, followingthe bridesmaids, and carrying her bridal bouquet(or, if she wishes, a prayer-book).
Arriving at the chancel, she leaves her father and steps forward to take the left arm of the groom, who advances from the chancel to meet her. They stand before the clergyman, and, if they wish, may kneel, and upon rising stand about a foot apart.
At the words of the ceremony, "Who giveth this woman away?" or, "To be married to this man?" her father advances and places her right hand in that of the clergyman, who places it in the groom's right hand. After this her father retires to his seat in the pew with his family.
When the plighting of the troth comes, the groom receives the ring from the best man and hands it to the bride, who gives it to the clergyman. He returns it to the groom, who then places it on the third finger of the bride's left hand. When plighting the troth, the bride gives her glove and bouquet to the maid of honor, or, what is better, the finger of the glove may be cut to allow the ring to be placed on without the glove being removed.
The kiss at the altar is no longer in good form.
At the end of the ceremony, after the clergyman has congratulated the married couple, the bride takes her husband's right arm and they lead the procession to the vestibule, where they receive the congratulations of near friends. Here the maid of honor and bridesmaids cloak and prepare the bride for the trip home in the groom's carriage.
DRESS. The bride is veiled, and is dressed in white-full dress, day or evening. Gloves need not be worn in the church. The bridesmaids provide their own outfit, unless the bride asks them to dress in a style of her own selecting. In this case, she supplies them gowns, hats, gloves, and shoes, as she may wish.
FAREWELL LUNCHEON. While a farewell luncheon given to the bridesmaids by the bride is not necessary, yet it is a pleasant way for a woman to entertain her female friends the last time in her father's house.
On this occasion it is a good plan for the bride to give to the maid of honor and brides-maids her souvenirs, which, of course, should be alike, and of use at the wedding ceremony.
GIFTS. The bride may give to the groom a ring as an engagement ring if she wishes. She should make suitable gifts to the bridesmaids as souvenirs of the occasion, and may also present them with flowers. If she presents boutonnieres to the best man and the ushers, they should appear at her house before the ceremony and have her place them in the lapel of their coats.
She should acknowledge immediately thereceipt of all wedding gifts.
GLOVES. The bride need not wear gloves in thechurch.
INVITATIONS. At a church wedding the brideusually provides the bridesmaids with extrainvitations for their personal use.
KISS. Only the parents of the bride and hermost intimate relatives should kiss the bride.It is now no longer good form for all to do so.
SEEING GROOM ON WEDDING-DAY. It is not customary for the bride to see the groom on the wedding-day till she meets him at the altar.
WEDDING BREAKFAST. The bride and groom occupy the centre one of the small tables.
At all wedding breakfasts it is customary for the guests to assemble in the drawing-room, and then to enter the breakfast-room together—the bride and groom leading the way.
It is not usual to have the bridal cake at a wedding breakfast, but if such is the case, the bride makes the first cut, and the slices are given first to those at the bridal table.
WEDDING RECEPTION. She should stand by her husband's side to receive the best wishes of all present. The guests are not announced, but are introduced by the ushers to the bride if not known to her.
The bride should not leave her place to mingle with the guests until all have been introduced to her.
BRIDE'S FAMILY. See FAMILY OF BRIDE.
BRIDE'S FATHER. See FATHER OF BRIDE.
BRIDE'S MOTHER. See MOTHER OF BRIDE.
BRIDEGROOM. See GROOM.
BRIDESMAIDS. The bridesmaids are selected by the bride, and number six, eight, or twelve— mostly eight. She usually gives them a dinner a few days before the wedding, at which she shows them the trousseau and discusses the details of the wedding.
The ushers and the groom are invited to come after the dinner, and then the rehearsal takes place. The bridesmaids should be present at this and all other rehearsals, and if unable to be present at the wedding should give the bride ample notice, that a substitute may be secured.
CALLS. They call upon the mother of the bride within a week or ten days after the ceremony, and upon the bride, in her own home, after her return from her wedding trip.
CARRIAGES. A carriage provided by the familyof the bride calls for the bridesmaid on thewedding-day, and takes her to the bride'shouse. Her carriage follows the bride's to thechurch, and, after the ceremony, takes her tothe wedding breakfast or reception.
CHURCH. They meet at the house of the bride,and there take their carriages to the church.While their carriages follow that of the bride,they alight first and receive her in the vestibule.They may carry bouquets supplied bythe bride's family or the groom.
In the procession up the aisle they follow the ushers, walking two by two, and as the ushers approach the altar they divide—one-half to the right and one-half to the left. The bridesmaids do likewise, leaving space for the bridal party to pass.
In the procession down the aisle they follow the best man and maid of honor to the vestibule, where, after giving their best wishes to the bride, and congratulations to the groom, they return to the bride's home to assist in entertaining the guests at the reception or breakfast.
DANCING. At the wedding breakfast or reception dancing is sometimes indulged in.
DINNER TO MARRIED COUPLE. The bridesmaids usually give a dinner to the married couple on the latter's return from their wedding trip.
DRESS. They usually follow the wishes of the bride in the matter of dress. Should she desire any particular style of dress, entailing considerable expense, on account of novelty or oddity, she usually presents them the outfit, which it is permissible for them to accept.
If the bride has no particular wish, they decide the matter among themselves, always bearing in mind that their style of dress and material must be subordinated to that of the bride, and that there could be no greater exhibition of lack of refinement and good taste than for any bridesmaid to make herself in any way more attractive than the bride.
GIFTS. It is customary for them to send a wedding gift to the bride.
They usually receive a pretty souvenir from the bride and a bouquet from the groom.
INVITATIONS. At a large church wedding several invitations are usually given to the bridesmaids for their own personal use.
REHEARSALS. They should be present at all rehearsals.
WEDDING BREAKFASTS. They pair off with theushers, and are usually seated at a table bythemselves.
WEDDING RECEPTIONS. They stand beside themarried couple, and are introduced to theguests.
BROTHER AT DEBUT. A brother, when his sister's debut takes the form of a supper or dinner, should take his sister (the debutante) into dinner or supper.
BUTLER—TIPS. It is customary for a man leaving a house-party where he has been a guest to tip the butler who acted as a valet.
CABINET ( U. S,), MEMBER OF—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.
A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: I have the honor to remain most sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: Hon. JohnJ. Wilson, Secretary of State.
CAKE. is broken into pieces, the size of a mouthful,and then eaten with fingers or fork.
CALLS. Unless close intimacy exists, calls shouldonly be made on the specified days.
ASKING MEN TO CALL ON WOMEN. A debutanteshould leave this matter to her motheror chaperone.
A young woman, until she has had some experience in society, should be very careful in inviting men to call.
She should not invite a man to call whom she has met for the first time. No man should be invited to call until she is assured of his social standing and character.
In some parts of the country men first ask permission to call, and in other parts women first ask men to call.
ASKING WOMEN TO CALL ON WOMEN. It is generally the custom for the married or elder woman to ask the unmarried or younger woman to call.
BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS—CALLS.
BREAKFAST. See BREAKFASTS—CALLS.
BEST MAN. See BEST MAN—CALLS
BRIDESMAIDS. See BRIDESMAIDS—CALLS.
CHAPERONES. See CHAPERONES—MEN CALLING.
BUSINESS. A business man may call in streetdress upon a woman before six o'clock.
Social visits may be made in the samemanner.
DAYS AT HOME. Calls should only be made on the regular "At Home" days, and the hostess should always be present on that day. Very intimate friends may set aside this rule.
DEBUTANTE. See DEBUTANTE—CALLS.
DRESS. When making an afternoon call, a man would wear afternoon dress, and evening dress in making an evening call.
HIGH TEA. See HIGH TEA—CALLS.
HOURS. When no special day for receiving is indicated, calls may be made at any proper hour, according to the custom of the locality. Men of leisure may call at the fashionable hours from two till five in the afternoon, while business and professional men may call between eight and nine in the evening, as their obligations prevent them from observing the fashionable hours.
LENGTH. A formal call may last from fifteen to thirty minutes. Old friends may stay longer.
LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEON—CALLS.
MEN. AFTER ENTERTAINMENTS. After an entertainment a man should call in person on host and hostess, whether the invitation was accepted or not. If a card is sent or mailed, it should be accompanied with an apology.
To call on an acquaintance in an opera box does not relieve one of the duty of making a formal call in return for social favors.
When calling on the hostess but not on the host, a man should leave a card for him. If the hostess be out, he should leave two cards.
Married men can return their social obligationsto women by personal calls, or thewomen of the family can leave the men'scards with their own.
A call should be made the day following a luncheon or a breakfast; the same after a dinner, or at least within a week. A call should be made within a week after a ball.
After a theatre party given by a man, he should call within three days on the woman he escorted, or leave his card, and should call within a week on the remainder of his guests.
MEN CALLING ON MEN. At the beginning of the season it is usual to leave a card for each member of a family called on—one card for husband, wife, "misses," and guest, or rest of the family. Sometimes two cards answer the purpose.
They may be sent by mail or messenger.
MEN CALLING ON WOMEN. A man should call only on "At Home" days, especially when making the first call, unless specially invited. He should call at the hour appointed.
When no special day for receiving is indicated, calls may be made at any proper hour, according to the custom of the locality. Men of leisure may call at the fashionable hours —from two till five o'clock.
Business and professional men may call between eight and nine o'clock, as their obligations prevent them from observing the fashionable hours.
A business man may call in street dress before six o'clock, and the same dress in the evening, if intimately acquainted.
Informal calls may be made on Sunday after three o'clock by business and professional men, provided there are no religious or other scruples on the part of those receiving the calls.
Evening or other than mere formal calls should not be made, save by special invitation.
The first call should last not longer than ten or fifteen minutes. It is correct to ask for all the women of the family.
At the first call he should give his card at the door. At following calls it is optional whether to give a card or merely the name, asking at the same time for the person one desires to see. When the servant's intelligence seems doubtful, or the name is an unusual one, it is safer to give a card.
When a woman invites a man to call without specifying when, it is not considered as an invitation at all, but merely as a formal courtesy.
It is bad form to solicit by innuendo or otherwise an invitation to call from a woman. It is her privilege to make the first move in such matters; otherwise she would be placed in an embarrassing position.
When an invitation specifies the hour, every effort should be made to be punctual. It is impolite to be too early or too late.
At a formal call, when others are present, a man should not be seated unless invited to do so. He should leave as others come in, and not remain longer than ten or fifteen minutes.
A man having a card or letter of introduction to a young woman should present it in person to the chaperone. If she is out, he should mail it to her, and she should at once notify him whether he may call.
If a caller is a stranger to the young woman's hostess, he should send his card to the latter and ask to see her.
The chaperone may, if desirable, give a man permission to call upon the woman under her charge.
A man should not call upon an unmarried woman until invited by her to do so. He may ask a married woman who has a family for permission to call.
GLOVES. Gloves need not be removed at a formal or brief call.
ENTERTAINMENTS. At entertainments a man should give his card to the servant at the door or leave it in the hall.
A few appropriate words of greeting should be addressed to the hostess and host as soon after entering as possible.
Personal introductions are not absolutely required at musicales, teas, "At Homes," etc. One may converse with those nearest, but this does not warrant future recognition.
When light repasts are served, as teas, ices, etc, a man should put his napkin on his knee and hold the plate in his hand.
He should depart with as little ceremony as possible—a bow and a smile, if host and hostess are engaged, are sufficient. He should not shake hands and try to speak unless it can be done without becoming conspicuous.
MEN CALLING ON WOMEN—HAT. A man makinga formal or brief call should carry hishat in his hand into the parlor.
SHAKING HANDS. A man should not offer toshake hands first, as that is the privilege ofthe women.
MEN—DRESS. In making ceremonious calls, menwear afternoon dress, and after six o'clockevening dress.
See also AFTERNOON DRESS—MEN. EVENINGDRESS—MEN.
PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS—CALLS.
THEATRE. See THEATRE—CALLS.
USHERS. See USHERS—CALLS.
WEDDING INVITATIONS. Very intimate friends can call personally. Friends of the groom who have no acquaintance with the bride's family should send their cards to those inviting them.
Those who do not receive wedding invitations, announcement, or "At Home" cards should not call on the married couple, but consider themselves as dropped from their circle of acquaintance.
WOMEN RECEIVING AND INVITING MEN. The invitation to call should be extended by the woman, and if she does not specify the time, will naturally be considered as an act of courtesy, but not as an invitation.
These invitations should be given with great care by young women. It is better to have the invitation extended by her mother or chaperone.
A married woman may ask a man to call, especially if she have unmarried daughters. An afternoon tea is an appropriate time to specify. A man may ask a married woman who has a family for permission to call.
At the beginning of a season, a man who desires the further acquaintance of a woman should leave his card in person for all the members of the family.
A formal call, or the first call of the season, should, mot last longer than ten or fifteen minutes. It is proper for the man to inquire for all the women of the family.
A man should call only on "At Home" days, unless especially invited to come at other times. The hostess should be home on all "At Home" days, unless sickness or other good cause prevents.
In the absence of "At Home" days, or specified time, calls may be received at any proper hour, according to the locality of the place.
When men make a formal call at other than specified time, the hostess may justly excuse herself. The caller would have no ground for offense.
Intimate friends need not hold to formalhours for paying calls.
Men of leisure should call only at fashionablehours—from two to five in the afternoon.
Evening calls should not be made by otherthan business or professional men, unless theacquaintance be an intimate one, or unlessthey are specially invited.
Business and professional men may call between eight and nine o'clock, as their obligations prevent them from observing the fashionable hours.
Informal calls may be made on Sunday after three o'clock by business and professional men, provided there are no religious or other scruples on the part of those receiving the calls.
A business man may call in street dress before six o'clock in the evening, or thereafter if intimacy warrants.
Evening, or other than mere formal calls, should not be made, save by special invitation.
A man should leave his card when calling. If his hostess is married, he should leave one also for the host. If she is out, he should leave two.
When calling upon a young woman whose hostess is not known to the man, he should send his card to her.
If the woman is seated when a man enters the room, she rises to greet him, and, if she wishes, shakes hands. It is her option to shake hands or not, and she should make the first advances. It is bad form for him to do so.
During a formal call, when other guests are present, a man should remain standing and depart upon the entrance of others. If the hostess is seated at the time, she need not rise or shake hands, but merely bow.
The hostess should not accompany a caller to the door of the parlor, but bow from her chair.
Dropping in at a theatre or opera party does not relieve a man from making formal calls that may be due.
A woman's escort to a theatre party should call upon her within a week. If she were his guest, he should do so within three days, or send his card, with an apology.
Business calls are privileged, and can be made when convenient, although preferably by appointment.
WOMEN RECEIVING—INTRODUCTIONS. At formal calls conversation should be general among the guests. Introductions are unnecessary.
AFTERNOON. See AFTERNOON CALLS.
COUNTRY. See COUNTRY CALLS.
EVENING. See EVENING CALLS.
FIRST. See FIRST CALLS.
INVALID'S. See INVALID'S CALLS.
SUNDAY. See SUNDAY CALLS.
CANCELING DINNERS. When it becomes necessary for a hostess to cancel or postpone a dinner, she should send as soon as possible, either by special delivery or messenger, a letter to each guest who has accepted the invitation. The letter, written either in the first or third person, should state the reason and express regrets.
CANCELING WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS-INVITATIONSRECALLED.
CANES. A cane is the correct thing for a man when walking, except when engaged in business. It should be held a few inches below the knob, ferrule down, and should, like umbrellas, be carried vertically.
CALLING. When making a formal or brief call the cane should be left in the hall.
CARDINAL-HOW ADDRESSED. A letter, official or social, begins: Your Eminence, and ends: I have the honor to remain your humble servant. The address on the envelope is: His Eminence Cardinal Wilson.
DEBUT. See DEBUT CARDS.
DEBUTANTS. See DEBUTANTE CARDS.
INFANT. See INFANT'S CARDS.
IN MEMORIAM. See IN MEMORIAM CARDS.
MOURNING. See MOURNING CARDS.
ADDRESSING. See ADDRESSING CARDS (VISITING).
AFTERNOON TEAS. See CARDS (VISITING), LEAVINGIN PERSON—AFTERNOON TEAS. CARDS (VISITING),MAIL OR MESSENGER-AFTERNOON TEAS.
AT HOME. See AT HOME-CARDS.
BIRTH (ANNOUNCEMENT). See CARDS (VISITING),LEAVING IN PERSON—BIRTH.
CONDOLENCE. See CONDOLENCE—CARDS.
DAUGHTER. See DAUGHTERS—CARDS (VISITING).
GARDEN PARTIES. See GARDEN PARTIES—CARDS.
HUSBAND AND WIFE. When the wife is calling, she can leave cards of the husband and sons if it is impossible for them to do so themselves.
After an entertainment, cards of the family can be left for the host and hostess by either the wife or any of the daughters. See Also MR. AND MRS. CARD.
LEAVING IN PERSON. When cards with a message of congratulation are left in person, nothing should be written on it.
LEAVING IN PERSON—AFTERNOON TEAS. Women leave cards of their male relatives as well as their own, although their names may be announced upon entering the drawing-room. Guests leave their cards in a receptacle provided, or give them to the servant at the door.
MEN. A bachelor should not use AT HOME cards as a woman does, nor to invite his friends by writing a date and MUSIC AT FOUR on his calling card in place of an invitation.
MEN—LEAVING IN PERSON. When returning to town after a long absence, a man should leave cards having his address.
When calling upon a young woman whose hostess is not known by the man, he should send his card to her.
At the beginning of a season, a man should leave two cards for all those whose entertainments he is in the habit of attending, or on whom he pays social calls. These cards may also be mailed. If left in person, there should be one for each member of the family called upon, or only two cards. In the former there should be left one card for the host, one for the hostess, one for the "misses," and one for the rest of the family and their guest.
Men of leisure should leave their own cards, while business men can have them left by the women of the family.
The corner of the card should not be turned down.
Cards are now left in the hall by the servant and the caller is announced. In business calls the card is taken to the person for whom the caller asked.
When calling, a man should leave a card whether the hostess is at home or not.
P. P. C. card's may be left in person or sent by mail upon departure from city, or on leaving winter or summer resort.
When a man calls upon a young woman whom a hostess is entertaining, he should leave cards for both.
When a man calls upon another man, if he is not at home, he should leave a card.
When a man calls on the hostess but not the host he should leave a card for him. If the hostess is out, he should leave two cards—one for each.
BREAKFASTS, LUNCHEONS, DINNERS. A man should leave a card the day after a breakfast, luncheon, or dinner for the host and hostess, whether the invitation was accepted or not. They may also be sent by mail or messenger, with an apology for so doing.
BALLS, SUBSCRIPTION. Shortly after receivingan invitation to a subscription ball, a manshould leave a card for the patroness invitinghim.
DEBUTANTE. When calling upon a debutante aman should leave cards for her mother,whether the entertainment was attended ornot.
ENTERTAINMENT BY MEN. After a man's formal entertainment for men, a man should leave a card within one week, whether the event was attended or not. It can be sent by mail or messenger.
RECEPTION. When the host and hostess receive together, a man should leave one card for both, and if not present at the reception, he should send two cards.
THEATRE. After a theatre party given by a man, he should call within three days on the woman he escorted or leave his card.
WEDDING RECEPTION. After a wedding reception a man should leave a card for the host and hostess, and another for the bridal couple.
If a man has been invited to the church but not to the wedding reception, he should leave a card for the bride's parents and the bridal couple, or should mail a card.
SENDING BY MAIL, OR MESSENGER. After an entertainment a man should call in person on host and hostess, whether the invitation was accepted or not. If a card is mailed or sent, it should be accompanied with an apology.
At the beginning of the season a man should leave cards for all those whose entertainments he is in the habit of attending, or on whom he pays social calls. These cards may also be mailed. If left in person, there should be one for each member of the household or only two cards.
In the former case, there should be left one card for the host, one for the hostess, one for the "misses," and one for the rest of the family and the guest.
If a man is unable to make a formal call upon a debutante and her mother at her debut, he should send his card by mail or messenger.
A man may mail his card to a woman engaged to be married, if acquaintance warrants.
Visitors to town should send cards to everyone whom they desire to see. The addressshould be written on them.
AFTERNOON TEA. If a man is unable to be present at an afternoon tea, he should send a card the same afternoon.
BREAKFASTS, LUNCHEONS, DINNERS. A man should leave a card the day after a breakfast, luncheon, or dinner for the host and hostess, whether the invitation was accepted or not. They may be sent by mail or messenger with an apology for so doing.
ENTERTAINMENT BY MEN. After a man's formal entertainment for men, a man should leave a card within one week, whether the event was attended or not. It can be sent by mail or messenger.
P. P. C. cards may be sent by mail or messengerupon departure from city, or on leavingwinter or summer resort.
RECEPTION. When the host and hostess receivetogether, a man should leave one card forboth, and, if not present at the reception, heshould send two cards.
WEDDING RECEPTION. If a man has been invitedto the church but not the weddingreception, he should leave or mail a card tothe bride's parents, and also to the bridalcouple.
STYLE. The full name should be used, and if too long, the initials only. The club address is put in the lower left-hand corner, and if not living at a club, the home address should be in lower right-hand corner. In the absence of a title, Mr. is always used on an engraved but not a written card.
Cards should be engraved in plain letter,according to prevailing fashion.
Facsimile cards engraved are no longerused.
Written cards are in bad taste, but in caseof necessity they may be used. The nameshould be written in full if not too long, andshould be the autograph of the sender.
Messages or writing should not appear onmen's cards. If address is changed, newcards should be engraved. In an emergencyonly the new address may be written.
MOURNING CARDS are the same size as visiting- cards, and a black border is used—the width to be regulated by the relationship of the deceased relative.
MEN—STYLE, TITLES. Men having titles use them before their names—as, Reverend, Rev., Mr., Dr., Army and Navy titles, and officers on retired list. L.L.D. and all professional titles are placed after the name. Political and judicial titles are always omitted.
Physicians may use Dr. before or M.D. after the name. On cards intended for social use, office hours and other professional matter are omitted.
MR. AND MRS. See MR. AND MRS. CARDS.
P. P. C. See P. P. C. CARDS.
SENDING BY MAIL OR MESSENGER. If after accepting an invitation it is necessary to decline, a card should be sent the evening of the entertainment, with an explanatory note the day following.
When an invitation has been received to an "At Home" debut, and one has not been able to attend, cards should be sent by mail or messenger, to arrive at the time of the ceremony.
A card should be mailed to a man engaged to be married.
AFTERNOON TEAS. The invitations to a formal afternoon tea are sent a week or ten days in advance by mail or messenger. No reply is necessary, but if unable to be present, a card should be sent the day of the entertainment.
For an afternoon tea a visiting-card may be used, with the hour for the "tea" written or engraved over the date beneath the fixed day of that week. They may be sent by mail or messenger.
Persons unable to attend should send cards the same afternoon.
BIRTH (ANNOUNCEMENT). If wishing to congratulate after a birth, cards should be left in person or sent by a messenger. Cut flowers may be sent with the card.
CONDOLENCE. After a death in the family of an acquaintance, a card with the word Condolence written on it should be left in person or by messenger. For very intimate acquaintances, cut flowers may be left in person or sent, together with a card or letter.
When unable to leave in person a card with Condolence written on it, send it to intimate friends only with a note of apology. If out of town, it should be sent with a letter of condolence.
TRAVELERS. A woman visiting a place for a length of time should mail to her friends a visiting-card which contains her temporary address.
A man in similar situation should call upon his friends, and if he does not find them at home, should leave his card.
WEDDING INVITATIONS. Those present at the ceremony should leave cards for those inviting them, and if this is not possible, they can be sent by mail or messenger.
Those invited but not present should send cards.
WIDOW. See WIDOWS—CARDS.
WIFE. Only the wife of the oldest member of the oldest branch may use her husband's name without the initials.
WOMEN. Mrs. or Miss should always be used before the names. The cards of single women are smaller than those of married women.
The husband's name should be used in full, unless too long, when the initials are used. Only the wife of the oldest member of the oldest branch may use her husband's name without initials.
Reception days should appear in the lower left-hand corner, limiting dates—as, Until Lent, or in January, may be either engraved or written.
If a special function is allotted to any reception days—as, the entertaining of special guests—the hour of the reception day may be written above the day and the date beneath it.
DAUGHTERS. See DAUGHTERS—CARDS.
LEAVING IN PERSON—BIRTH, ANNOUNCEMENT OF. If wishing to send congratulations, after receipt of a birth announcement card, cards should be left in person or sent by a messenger; cut flowers may be sent with the card.
Before the wedding cards are issued, an engaged woman should leave her card personally upon her friends without entering the house.
When calling at the beginning of the seasona woman should leave her own card,those of the men of the family, and two ofher husband's.
After formal invitations, a woman should leave her own card and those of the men of the family who were invited, whether they attended or not.
When calling formally a woman should leave a card, whether the hostess is at home or not.
When a woman calls upon a well-known friend, it is not necessary to send up a card.
When making a call at a hotel or other public place, the name of the person called upon should be written in the upper left- hand corner of the card—as:
For Mrs. Jane Wilson
The corner of the card should not be turned down.
P. P. C. cards may be left in person or sent by mail upon departure from city, or on leaving winter or summer resort.
The corner of the card should not be turned down.
RECEPTION. At receptions a woman should leave the cards in the hall or hand them to the servant.
At a "coming-out reception" a woman should leave cards for the mother and daughter.
A married man returns his social obligations to women by personal calls, or his wife can do it for him by leaving his card with her own.
MOTHER AND DAUGHTER. After her debut the younger of the two daughters has no card of her own, as her full baptismal name appears on her mother's card beneath her name. A year after her first appearance she may have a card of her own.
When a mother leaves her daughter's card, it is for the hostess only.
If reception day appear on the mother's card, the daughters also receive on that date, as the daughters have no reception days of their own.
MOTHER AND SON. When a mother is calling, she can leave cards of her son for the host and hostess if it is impossible for him to do so himself.
A son entering society can have his cards left by his mother upon a host and hostess. Invitations to entertainments will follow.
RETURNING TO TOWN. Cards of the entire family should be sent by mail to all acquaintances when returning after a prolonged absence.
When using cards, if out of town, theplace of a woman's permanent residence canbe written on the card—thus: New York.Philadelphia.
SENDING BY MAIL OR MESSENGER. A woman visiting a place for a length of time should mail to her friends her visiting-card containing her temporary address.
P. P. C. cards may be sent by mail or messenger upon departure from city, or on leaving winter or summer resort.
After a change of residence the cards ofthe entire family should be sent out as soonas possible.
At the beginning of the season both marriedand single women should send their cardsto all their acquaintances.
Visitors to town should send cards to every one whom they desire to see, with the address written on the cards.
For afternoon tea a visiting-card may be used. The hour for the tea is written or engraved over, and the date beneath the fixed day of the week. They may be sent by mail or messenger.
The cards of a debutante may be sent by mail or messenger.
Mourning cards should be sent to indicate temporary retirement from society. Later cards should be sent to indicate return to society.
AFTERNOON TEA. If a woman is unable to be present at an afternoon tea she should send her card the same afternoon.
WEDDING RECEPTION. When invitations have been received to the church but not to the wedding reception, cards should be sent to the bride's parents and to the bridal couple.
WOMEN—STYLE, TITLES. Women having titles should use them before the name—as, Reverend or Rev. Mrs. Smith. Physicians use Dr. before or M.D. after the name. Office hours and other professional matters are omitted on cards for social use. Husband's titles should never be used. The home address is put in the lower right-hand and the club address in the lower left-hand corner.
The card of the eldest daughter in society is simply Miss Wilson.
CARDS OF ADMISSION TO CHURCH WEDDINGS. These cards are used at all public weddings held in churches, and when they are used no one should be admitted to the church without one. They are sent with the wedding invitations.
BALLS. See BALLS-CARRIAGES.
DANCES. See DANCES-CARRIAGES.
FUNERALS. See FUNERALS-CARRIAGES.
MEN. In a general way a man should provide a carriage when escorting a woman in evening dress to any function. If she does not wear evening dress, and they are going to an informal affair, it would be proper to take a street-car.
SUPPERS. See SUPPER AND THEATRE PARTIES—MEN—CARRIAGES.
THEATRES. See THEATRES AND OPERA PARTIES GIVEN BY MEN—CARRIAGES.
WOMEN. A woman accepting, with her mother's or chaperone's consent, a man's invitation to the theatre may, with propriety, request him not to provide a carriage unless full dress on her part is requested.
CATHOLIC PRIEST—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Reverend and Dear Sir, and ends: I have the honor to remain your humble servant. A social letter begins: Dear Father Wilson, and ends: I beg to remain faithfully yours, The address on the envelope is: The Reverend John J. Wilson. But if he holds the degree of D.D. (Doctor of Divinity), the address is: Reverend John J. Wilson, D.D., or Reverend Dr. John J. Wilson.
CELERY is eaten with the fingers.
CHANGE OF RESIDENCE. WOMEN. After a change of residence, the cards of the entire family should be sent out as soon as possible.
CHAPERONE. A chaperone takes precedence of her charge in entering drawing or dancing rooms and on ceremonious occasions. At an entertainment both enter together, and the chaperone should introduce her protege to the hostess and to others. The two should remain together during the evening. In a general way the chaperon takes under her charge the social welfare of her protege.
BALLS. A mother should attend balls with her daughters, going and returning with them, and if she is not invited, it is in good taste for the daughters to decline the invitation. A father can act as escort, if need be, instead of the mother. A mother can delegate her powers to some one else when requested to act as a chaperone.
MEN CALLING. A man should ask the chaperone's permission to call upon her protege, and once it is granted no further permission is necessary. The chaperone should be present while a debutante receives male callers the first year, and when the first call is made she should be present throughout the evening and should decide as to the necessity of her presence during subsequent visits.
CARDS. A chaperone introducing and accompanying young women should leave her own card with that of her protege.
DANCES. The chaperone should give her permission to a man who desires to dance, promenade, or go to supper with her charge, who should not converse with him at length save at the chaperon's side, and the chaperon should accompany both to supper. If without an escort, the young woman may accept the invitation of her last partner before supper is announced.
INTRODUCTIONS. A man should never be introduced direct by card or letter to a young unmarried woman. If he desires to be introduced, the letter or card of introduction should be addressed to her chaperone or mother, who may then introduce him to the young woman if she deems it advisable.
At an entertainment a chaperone may ask a young man if he wishes to be introduced to the one under her care.
LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION. A man having a letter of introduction to a young woman should present it in person to the chaperone. If the latter is out when he calls, he should mail it to her, and she may then notify him when he may call, and should herself be present.
SUPPER, TEA, DINNER. A young woman receiving an invitation to a man's supper, tea, or dinner may accept if she has the consent of her mother or chaperone, and is assured that a chaperone will be present.
THEATRES. A chaperone's permission should be asked before a man's invitation to the theatre can be accepted. The chaperone can also accept, on behalf of her protege, invitations from men to theatre parties or suppers, if she too is invited.
The chaperone should be present at mixed theatre parties—one for small, and two or more for larger parties and suppers. The chaperones may use their own carriage to call for the guests, and then meet the men at the places of entertainment. The chaperone should say when the entertainment shall close.
UNABLE TO BE PRESENT. When a chaperone is unable to fulfill her duties, she may delegate them to another, provided it is agreeable to all concerned.
CHEESE is first cut into small bits, then placed on pieces of bread or cracker, and lifted by the fingers to the mouth.
CHINA WEDDING. This is the twentieth wedding anniversary, and is not usually celebrated; but if it is, the invitation may bear the words NO PRESENTS RECEIVED, and congratulations may be extended in accepting or declining the invitation. An entertainment is usually provided for. Any article of china is appropriate as a gift.
CHOIR-BOYS AT WEDDINGS. These form a brilliant addition to a church wedding, and when employed they meet the bridal party in the vestibule, and precede them to the altar, singing a hymn or other appropriate selection.
DRESS. The mother wears an elaborate reception gown to the church, with white gloves and a light hat or bonnet.
If the ceremony is at the house, she can wear an elaborate tea-gown.
The guests wear afternoon or evening dress, according whether the ceremony comes before or after 6 P.M.
FLOWERS. A christening ceremony offers a good opportunity for the guests who desire to present flowers to the mother. This is not obligatory, however, and must remain a matter of personal taste.
GIFTS. A christening ceremony offers a good opportunity for the invited guests, if they desire, to send a present to the baby.
These should be sent a day or two before the ceremony, and if of silver should be marked with the child's name, initials, or monogram.
GUESTS. The invitations should be promptly answered.
At a church ceremony the guests, as they are few in number, assemble in the front pews.
At a large house christening the affair is conducted somewhat like an afternoon reception. Wine is drunk to the child's health, and the guests take leave of the hostess.
INVITATIONS are issued by the wife only to intimate friends, and should be promptly answered.
If the christening is made a formal entertainment, to take place in the drawing-room, the invitations may be engraved.
MEN. If the ceremony is in the afternoon theywear afternoon dress, but at an eveningaffair evening dress.
At an afternoon ceremony in the summer it is allowable for the men to wear straw hats and light flannel suits.
At a large house christening the affair should be conducted somewhat like a reception, and men on departing should take leave of the hostess.
WOMEN dress as they would for an afternoon receptionif the ceremony comes in the afternoon, and if it comesafter breakfast or luncheon, as they would for a breakfastor luncheon.
At a large house christening the affair should be conducted like a reception, and women should take leave of the hostess on their departure.
CHURCH. A man usually follows the woman, who leads to the pew, and he enters after her, closing the door as he does so.
He should find the places in the servicebook for her.
This same courtesy he should extend to awoman who is a stranger to him.