These invitations should be answered promptly.
MEN—DRESS. A man should carry with himone business suit, evening clothes, and oneouting suit suitable for afternoon entertainments—as, picnics, tennis, etc. This is almostindispensable, and more depends upon thenature of the entertainments and the lengthof the visit.
WOMEN—DRESS. A woman should take at leastthree changes of dress—one to travel in andwear in the morning, one for evening wear,and a third for afternoon picnics, outings,etc. The length of her visit and the nature ofthe entertainments and her individual tastedetermines how much she may increase this.
HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, MEMBER OF. An officialletter begins: SIR, and ends: I HAVE, SIR, THEHONOR TO REMAIN YOUR MOST OBEDIENT SERVANT.
A social letter begins: MY DEAR MR. WILSONand ends: I HAVE THE HONOR TO REMAIN MOSTSINCERELY YOURS.
The address on the envelope is: HON. JOHNF. WILSON.
HUSBAND AND WIFE—CARDS, VISITING. See CARDS,VISITING-HUSBAND AND WIFE.
IN MEMORIAM CARDS. Printed or engraved notes, or special cards, can be used, and should be heavily bordered. Custom allows much diversity as to the contents of the card. Place and date of birth, residence, date of death, and any other information of interest to friends and relatives may be given.
INFANT'S CARDS. The full name of the child shouldbe engraved, with date of birth in lowerleft-hand corner, enclosed in envelope withmother's card, and sent by mail. Such cardsare generally held together with white ribbon.
INFORMAL AFTERNOON TEAS. These are the usual afternoonteas. By formal afternoon teas aremeant those for which specially engravedcards have been issued, and at which all thearrangements are more elaborate.
See AFTERNOON TEAS.
INTERIOR, SECRETARY OF—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.
A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson,and ends: I have the honor to remain mostsincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: Hon. JohnJ. Wilson, Secretary Of The Interior.
INTRODUCTIONS. One should be careful in making introductions. It is easier to evade than to cause disagreeable complications. It is unpardonable to introduce one party to another after having been warned not to do so.
Forgetting a person's name when about to introduce is awkward, and when it does occur, one should apologize and ask name. If a person fails to hear the name, it is proper to inform the one to whom you are introduced and to say: "Pardon me, but I failed to hear your name." In making introductions one should distinctly pronounce the names.
Parents should not speak of or introduce their children as MISS ANNA, but simply MY DAUGHTER ANNA. Only before servants should they be spoken of as MISS ANNA.
Persons of celebrity should have introductions made to them. Men should always be introduced to women, the younger to an elder person, and unmarried persons to the married. Persons at an entertainment are introduced to the guest of the occasion.
Women and men on being introduced may shake hands, but it is not good form. A polite bow, a smile, and friendly recognition is more correct.
Those invited to an entertainment are on equal footing; it is therefore not necessary to introduce one to another. Conversation may be held without this formality, though introductions may take place if desired. When an introduction occurs, future recognition is not warranted. For this reason great care should be exercised at entertainments that only those who are congenial to each other should be brought together.
At small gatherings it is more kindly to introduce. When many are present, it is not customary to do so.
Introductions should not take place in a church or on the steps.
It is quite proper to introduce one group to another without formality at any outdoor function—athletic games, etc. Such introductions need not imply further acquaintance if undesirable.
DANCING. The man must be introduced to the woman, and he should ask her for the privilege of a dance.
ENTERTAINMENTS. Introductions are not absolutely required at musicales, teas, "At Homes," etc. One may converse with those nearest, but this does not warrant future recognition.
MEN. Men are introduced to women and single men to married men.
When introduced to a woman, a man should bow but not shake hands, and make some pleasant observations, and express pleasure at the introduction.
When introduced to another man, the man should shake hands.
Business introductions are immediate and personal, and are intended to bring men together without much formality. No formality is required in introducing one man to another on casual meeting.
It is well to avoid exaggerated expressions, as: "Delighted to meet you," or "Glad to know you." A simple "How do you do" is better.
A man introducing another to a woman should first ask her permission to do so. This gained, he introduces him with the remark: "Mr. Smith desires to be introduced to Miss Wilson."
A woman's permission should first be obtained by the party introducing. Very often off-hand introductions take place; but it is better to be more formal and careful, as indicated. If she evades or declines, a man should accept it without any show of feeling, and make it as easy for her as possible.
After an introduction at an entertainment, when a man meets the woman on the street, she should bow first if she desires to continue the acquaintance.
CHAPERONE. A man should never be introduced direct by card or letter to a young unmarried woman. If he desires to be introduced, the letter or card of introduction should be addressed to her chaperone or mother, who may then introduce him to the young woman if she deems it advisable.
At an entertainment a chaperone may ask a young man if he wishes to be introduced to the one under her care.
FORMULA. A good formula for men is: "Mr.Brown, may I present Mr. Clark?"
A man presenting a man friend to a womanshould say: "Mr. Williams desires to bepresented to Miss Wilson. Miss Wilson,allow me to introduce Mr. Williams. This isMr. Williams, Miss Wilson."
The formality is sometimes waved, and the forms, "This is Mr. So and So, Miss Jones," "Mrs. Smith, Miss Jones," or "Allow me to present ——," are used when casual meetings occur.
PARTY INTRODUCED. After receiving call of party to whom you have been introduced, the visit should be returned. If AT HOME card was left, the call should be made only on the days specified; if an ordinary card, call at any time within three to ten days.
If the party introduced leaves town, he should send his card to his late host before leaving; upon his return, he should leave his card again.
PARTY INTRODUCING BY CARD—WOMEN. A note of explanation may be sent by party who brings about the introduction to the party to whom the introduction is made, giving such explanations as may be deemed advisable.
Two cards should be used—a person's own card and the card of the party being introduced, enclosed in envelope, and sent by mail or messenger. On the left corner over name of party introduced should be written: INTRODUCING MR. WILSON
PARTY INTRODUCING BY LETTER—WOMEN. Care should be exercised that the introduction is agreeable to all concerned.
RECEPTIONS. The man should express desire for an introduction.
WOMEN. Women calling and meeting others may be introduced to each other by the hostess. Upon such an occasion, when a meeting happens between women, conversation may take place between them without an introduction. It does not imply further acquaintance if not desired.
Extreme etiquette demands that no two women of the same locality be introduced to each other without the consent of both parties. The object of this is that, although the parties may be agreeable to the hostess, they may be objectionable to each other.
Women upon being introduced to each other may shake hands, but a slight inclination of the body, a smile, and an appropriate remark are more correct.
When entering a room where others are assembled, introducing a guest to more than one person at a time is unadvisable.
Men are introduced to women, single women to married women, and a young woman to an older one.
No woman should allow a man to be introduced to her unless her permission has been first obtained. The exception would be in the case of a very elderly man, or a celebrity, when the honor would be conferred upon her.
A married woman to whom a man is presented receives him with some pleasant remark. An unmarried one receives him with a pleasant smile and repeats his name.
Personal introduction is done by a third party introducing two persons to each other, provided it is agreeable to all concerned. Introductions should be made with extreme care and caution, and not at all unless one is well acquainted with both parties.
Outdoor Introductions—as, when meeting others, or at outdoor sports—need not be formal, but can be done haphazard. This does not imply further acquaintance if not desired.
FORMULA. A woman should introduce her husband to acquaintances as "My husband," and not "Mr."; to intimate friends as "Henry."
HOSTESS. Introductions to the hostess at an "At Home," or reception by women assisting hostess, of those who have been invited to the entertainment by them, are not recognized thereafter unless by mutual consent.
The hostess receiving in her own home should offer her hand to all to whom she is introduced.
The hostess introduces her immediate familyto all her guests. No formal permissionis necessary.
In the case of one woman desiring an introduction to another, the hostess should be asked to bring this about.
INTRODUCTION, LETTERS OF. The introduction of one person to another by letter is as follows: The party introducing writes the name of the party he introduces upon his own card, and above his name the words: Introducing Mr. Wilson (his friend's name). It is then placed in an envelope and addressed to the person to whom the introduction is to be made. On the lower left-hand corner of the envelope, Introducing Mr. Wilson, is written, and given to the bearer unsealed.
The party to whom a letter of introduction is given should send it by mail to the party they desire to be introduced to, enclosing their own card with address, and then await invitation to call.
This is preferable to calling in person, as it may not be agreeable or desirable for the party to open and begin such an acquaintance.
In business introduction, such formality may be set aside.
If a letter of introduction is personally delivered, the party presenting it should also enclose card.
If the party called upon is not at home,the letter or card should not be left, but sentby mail or messenger.
The one giving another a letter of introductionmay write to the friend explainingwhy it is done, who and what the party is.
If a man sends a letter of introduction to a woman, she should acknowledge it, and, if she wishes, invite him to call.
PARTY RECEIVING—WOMEN. The party receiving cards of introduction should call in person upon woman introduced; if unable to do so, a letter should be sent, stating reasons of inability to be present. A member of the family may make the call instead. It should be done within three days.
If not agreeable to receive party for any reason, a card may be sent or left. No personal visit need be made.
INVALID'S CALLS. A woman unable to call from sickness may have her calls made for her by her sister, or daughter, or some female relative.
INVITATIONS. Care should be exercised in inviting new acquaintances to breakfast, luncheon, or dinner, unless there are some particular reasons why they will be especially agreeable to those invited.
All invitations should be sent by mail.
Verbal invitations should be avoided as much as possible, and if a verbal one is given, it should be followed immediately by one in writing.
ACCEPTING OR DECLINING. Invitations to all entertainments, when answers are expected, should be acknowledged by a written letter of acceptance or regret. The answer should be sent to the person or committee issuing the invitation.
Invitations to dinners, musicales, weddings, and breakfasts should be answered at once, and those to balls, dances, and receptions within one week.
Invitations to ordinary "At Homes," teas, or weddings, which do not include invitations to the wedding breakfast or reception, need no acknowledgment.
The invitations sent to a family—as, mother, or daughter, or several daughters— may be answered by one person for all. But invitations sent to the men of the family should be answered by each man.
When it is found necessary to decline after accepting an invitation, a card should be sent the evening of the entertainment with an explanatory letter the day following.
BALLS. Invitations to balls or assemblies should be answered immediately, and if declined the ticket should be returned.
DANCING. While a woman may accept or declineany invitation to dance, it is considered adiscourteous act to refuse one man and to acceptthereafter from another an invitation tothe same dance.
WEDDINGS. Such invitations should be answeredat once, except when the invitation does notinclude an invitation to the wedding receptionor breakfast, in which case no answer isneeded.
ADDRESSING. When invitations are sent to a husband and wife and daughter, only one envelope is needed, the daughter's name appearing under her parents. Separate envelopes should be addressed to two daughters—as, Misses Wilson.
Separate envelopes should be addressed to each son.
MEN. If an invitation is sent to a man, he should answer it himself; but if sent to a man and wife, the latter may answer for both.
TO CALL WITH CHAPERONE'S PERMISSION. If permission is asked, and if agreeable, a chaperone should invite a man to call upon her and her protege.
Every effort should be made to call at the specified time.
TO CALL ON WOMEN. If a woman invites a man to call without specifying the time, it is equivalent to no invitation at all.
TO CALL ON WOMEN THROUGH LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION. If a man having a letter of introduction sends the same by mail to a woman, it should be acknowledged by a written invitation to call. If the person receiving the letter does not care to receive the party, a card is sent which ends the matter.
R. S. V. P. The use of these letters—standing for "Repondez, s'il vous plait" (Answer, if you please)—is decreasing. All invitations bearing these letters should be answered at once.
These may be used on invitations to ceremonious receptions, breakfasts, luncheons, dinners, and to meet a prominent person.
WIFE. When a husband and wife are invited toa dinner, and the former does not accept,the wife should also decline and give herreasons. The hostess can then invite thewife only, who may accept.
WOMEN. A young woman receiving an invitationto a man's supper, tea, or dinner, mayaccept, if she has the consent of her motheror chaperone, and is assured that a chaperonewill be present.
WOMEN—THEATRE. Women receiving an invitation from a man for the theatre should have the consent of mother or chaperone, and when they accept, may, with propriety, request their escort not to provide a carriage unless full dress on their part is requested.
AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS—INVITATIONS.AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL)—INVITATIONS.
AT HOMES.See AT HOMES—INVITATIONS.
BACHELORS' DINNERS.See BACHELORS' DINNERS—INVITATIONS.
BACHELORS' TEAS.See BACHELORS' TEAS—INVITATIONS.
BALLS.See BALLS—INVITATIONS.
BREAKFASTS.See BREAKFASTS—INVITATIONS.
BRIDE.See BRIDE—INVITATIONS.
CHRISTENINGS.See CHRISTENINGS—INVITATIONS.
COTILLIONS.See COTILLIONS—INVITATIONS.See COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS—INVITATIONS.
MUSICALES.See MUSICALES—INVITATIONS.
PALL-BEARERS.See PALL-BEARERS—INVITATIONS.
PARTIES.See PARTIES—INVITATIONS.
TELEPHONE.See TELEPHONE INVITATIONS.
THEATRE.See THEATRE AND OPERA PARTIESGIVEN BY MEN—INVITATIONS.
VERBAL.See VERBAL INVITATIONS.
IVORY WEDDING. This is the thirtieth wedding anniversary, and is not usually celebrated. If, however, it is done, the invitations may bear the words: NO PRESENTS RECEIVED, and in accepting or declining the invitation congratulations may be extended. Any article of ivory is appropriate as a gift. An entertainment is usually provided.
JEWELRY—MEN. Jewelry, except the very plainest, should not be worn, and in general the less the better. A display of diamonds and fancy jewelry betrays the poor taste of the wearer.
A man wearing the pins and badges of secret societies should see that they are small and unobtrusive, for in jewelry, as in all matters of dress, quality rather than quantity is to be desired.
JR. When the son is named after the father, he adds Jr. to his name. Upon the death of the father he omits it. This abbreviation is sometimes added to a woman's name on her card when her husband has the same name as his father, and it is necessary to distinguish between the cards of the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law.
If the mother-in-law should become a widow and wish to retain the husband's baptismal name, she should add Sr., while her daughter would erase Jr.
If both become widows, and wish to retain their husband's Christian names, the daughter-in-law should add Jr.
JUSTICE OF THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.
A social letter begins: Dear Justice Wilson,and ends: Believe me, most sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: Mr. JusticeJohn J. Wilson.
KING OF ENGLAND—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, may it please your Majesty, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Majesty's most obedient servant.
A social letter begins: Dear Sir, and ends:I have the honor to remain your Majesty'smost obedient servant.
The address on the envelope is: To HisMost Gracious Majesty, King Edward.
KISS, WEDDING. The kiss in the wedding ceremony is being done away with, especially at church weddings. Only the bride's parents and her most intimate friends should kiss her, and for others to do so is no longer good form.
KNIFE AND FORK. The knife is always held in the right hand, and is only used for cutting the food. The fork is used not only in eating fish, meat, vegetables, and made dishes, but also ices, frozen puddings, melons, salads, oysters, clams, lobsters, and terrapin.
The knife should never be used to carry food to the mouth.
See also SPOON.
KNIGHT—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins:Sir, and ends: I have the honor to remain,sir, your obedient servant.
A social letter begins: Dear Sir John Wilson,and ends: Believe me, dear Sir John,faithfully yours.
The address on the envelope is: To SirJohn Wilson.
WIFE OF. See Wife of Knight.
LAUNDRESS—TIPS. Guests at the end of a house party do not tip the laundress unless she has done special work for them.
LEATHER WEDDING. This is the twelfth anniversary of the wedding-day, and is not usually observed. If, however, it is observed, the invitations may bear the words: No presents received, and congratulations may be extended in its acceptance or declination. Any article of leather would be an appropriate gift. An entertainment usually follows.
ADDRESSING.See ADDRESSING AND SIGNING LETTERS,and also under title of person addressed—as, GOVERNOR, MAYOR, etc.
WRITTEN AFTER HOUSE PARTIES. If the visit has been more than two days in length, a guest should write to the hostess a short letter, telling of his pleasant visit and safe journey home.
CONCLUSION OF. See CONCLUSION OF A LETTER.
OF CONDOLENCE. See CONDOLENCE, LETTERS OF.
OF INTRODUCTION. See INTRODUCTION, LETTERS OF.
LETTUCE leaves should not be cut, but folded up with a fork, and then lifted to the mouth. In the event of these being too large for this treatment, they should be broken into suitable pieces with the fork.
LICENSE, MARRIAGE. A license, when required by State law, should be obtained by the groom and handed to the officiating clergyman the day before the ceremony. Usually a small fee is charged, and the details, when entered upon the clerk's records, are open to public inspection. The day need not be named, and until the marriage is solemnized the license has no binding effect.
LUNCHEONS. Usually only women are invited to these entertainments. Oddities, such as pink, blue, and yellow luncheons, are not in good taste. They should be as simple as possible.
Informal luncheons are the same as informal breakfasts. A more formal luncheon is proper when introducing a special guest.
Small tables are used, and diagrams of their arrangement are placed in the dressing-room, designating the places of the guests.
CALLS. Calls should be made a week after entertainment.
WOMEN. Women dress in visiting toilettes and wear their bonnets, laying aside their wraps in the dressing-room. Gloves should be removed at table.
After coffee, the guests should take their leave, making some gracious remark to the hostess.
Calls should be made a week after the entertainment.
GIVEN BY BACHELORS. See Bachelors' Luncheons.
GUESTS. Only women, as a rule, attend luncheons.For further details, see LUNCHEONS—WOMEN.
HOSTESS. Introductions take place in the parlor. At the appointed hour the hostess leads the way to the drawing-room, followed by the guests.
The hostess and principal guest should sit at one of the centre-tables. Between the courses the hostess and two of the women seated with her rise and change seats with others. This may be done by others also if they desire. They take their napkins with them.
HOURS. The hour is from 1 to 2 P.M.
INTRODUCTIONS. Introductions take place in theparlor.
INVITATIONS. Cards are engraved, and sent twoweeks in advance.
MEN—LEAVING CARDS. If men are invited, they should, after a luncheon, leave a card for host and hostess, whether the invitation was accepted or not; or it may be sent by mail or messenger, with an apology for so doing.
MAIDS—TIPS. It is customary for guests leaving after a visit at a private house to remember the maid who has taken care of the room by giving her a reasonable tip. A woman should give more for extra attention.
MAID OF HONOR. This important person is selected by the bride, and acts for her in all details, being virtually mistress of ceremonies and filling a position requiring administrative ability and tact. She acts in the same capacity as the best man does for the groom.
She is invited, of course, to the dinner given by the bride to the bridesmaids.
She fulfils whatever duties the bride has been unable, from press of time, to attend to —as, making calls, etc.
CHURCH. She goes to the church with one of the parents of the bride, and meets the bride and the bridesmaids in the vestibule. In the procession she follows behind the bridesmaids, and precedes the flower girl, if there is one—otherwise the bride. On their arrival at the altar she takes her place by the side of the bride, and is ready at the plighting of the troth to take the bride's glove and bouquet, and returns them to her at the end of the ceremony.
After the congratulations of the clergyman, she parts the bridal veil, arranges the bride's train, and follows the bride down the aisle to the vestibule.
Here, after giving her best wishes to the bride, she takes her carriage to the bride's house to take part in the reception or breakfast.
DAY OF WEDDING. She should be at the house of the bride on the morning of the wedding-day to assist the bride's mother, to see that the trousseau is all ready and packed, that the bridesmaids are on time, and to attend to the many details liable to arise.
DRESS. Her dress should be some delicate color other than white, so as not to detract from the bride, and should be subdued in comparison. It may be, and usually is, more elegant in quality than that of the bridesmaids.
WEDDING BREAKFAST. The best man escorts the maid of honor, and they are usually seated at the bridal table.
WEDDING RECEPTION. She stands next the bride to receive with her, and also retires with her to assist the latter in exchanging her wedding dress for the traveling-dress.
It is her privilege to cast a slipper at the carriage which takes away the married couple, and her duty to prepare packages of rice, which are given to the guests to be thrown after the married couple as they leave the house.
MAIL, INVITATIONS SENT BY. All invitations should besent by mail and verbal ones avoided.
MAIL OR MESSENGER, SENDING CARDS BY.See CARDS, VISITING—SENDING BY MAIL OR MESSENGER.
MAN SERVANTS—TIPS. It is customary for a man,at the end of a house party, to give to theman servant who has acted as his valet asuitable tip.
MARCHIONESS-HOW ADDRESSED. An official letterbegins: Madam, and ends: I have the honorto remain your Ladyship's most obedientservant.
The address on the envelope is: To theMost Noble the Marchioness of Kent.
A social letter begins: Dear Lady Kent,and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Kent, verysincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: To theMarchioness of Kent.
MARCHIONESS, DOWAGER—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Ladyship's most obedient servant.
A social letter begins: Dear Lady Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Kent, very sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope in both casesis: To the Dowager Marchioness of Kent, orTo Mary, Marchioness of Kent.
MARQUIS—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins:My Lord Marquis, and ends: I have thehonor to be your Lordship's obedient servant.
The address on the envelope is: To theMost Noble the Marquis of Kent.
A social letter begins: Dear Lord Kentand ends: Believe me, Lord Kent, very sincerelyyours.
The address on the envelope is: To theMarquis of Kent.
DAUGHTER OF. See DAUGHTER OF MARQUIS.
WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF. See WIFE OFYOUNGER SON OF MARQUIS.
YOUNGER SON OF. See SON (YOUNGER) OF MARQUIS.
MARKING WEDDING PRESENTS. While it is not strictly necessary that wedding presents be marked, yet it is customary, and they should always be marked with the bride's maiden name, unless specially intended for the groom's individual use.
MATINEES. Proper music should be provided.
The refreshment-room should be within easy reach. Light dainties should be served occasionally to those not caring to go to the refreshment-room.
DRESS. If after six o'clock, evening dress should be worn; otherwise, afternoon dress.
HOST. The head of the house need not be present.
HOSTESS. The hostess and those assisting her should not dance, unless all her guests are provided with partners or are otherwise entertained.
INVITATIONS. These may be written or engraved, with Dancing and the hour for beginning in the lower left-hand corner. They should be sent two weeks in advance, and should be promptly answered.
MEN. Gloves should be worn when dancing.See also BALLS. COTILLIONS. DANCES. DANCING.
MAYOR OF A CITY—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letterbegins: Sir, or Your Honor, and ends: Ihave the honor, sir, to remain your obedientservant.
A social letter begins: My dear MayorWilson, or, Dear Mr. Wilson, and ends:Believe me, most sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: His Honor,the Mayor of Kent, John J. Wilson.
ADDRESSING ENVELOPES. See ADDRESSINGENVELOPES—MEN.
AFTERNOON DRESS. See AFTERNOON DRESS—MEN.
AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS—MEN.
BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS—MEN.
BACHELORS' TEAS. See BACHELORS' TEAS—MEN.
BALLS. See BALLS—MEN.
BICYCLING. See BICYCLING—MEN.
BOWING. See BOWING—MEN.
BREAKFASTS. See BREAKFASTS—MEN.
CALLS. See CALLS—MEN.
CARDS. See CARDS, VISITING—MEN.
CHAPERONES. See CHAPERONES—MEN.
CHRISTENINGS. See CHRISTENINGS—MEN.
CONCLUSION OF LETTERS. See CONCLUSION OF A LETTER—MEN.
COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS. See COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS—MEN.
DANCES. See DANCES—MEN.
DANCING. See DANCING—MEN.
DEBUTANTE. See DEBUTANTE—MEN.
DINNERS. See DINNERS—MEN.
DRIVING. See DRIVING—MEN.
DRESS. See DRESS—MEN.
ENGAGEMENT. See ENGAGEMENT—MEN.
EVENING DRESS. See EVENING DRESS—MEN.
FLOWERS. See FLOWERS—MEN.
FUNERALS. See FUNERALS—MEN.
GARDEN PARTIES. See GARDEN PARTIES—MEN.
GLOVES. See GLOVES—MEN.
HIGH TEA. See HIGH TEA—MEN.
HOUSE PARTIES. See HOUSE PARTIES—MEN.
INTRODUCTIONS. See INTRODUCTIONS—MEN.
INVITATIONS. See INVITATIONS—MEN.
JEWELRY. See JEWELRY—MEN.
LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEONS—MEN.
MORNING DRESS. See MORNING DRESS—MEN.
MOURNING. See MOURNING—MEN.
NEWCOMER, RESIDENTS' DUTY TO. See NEWCOMER,RESIDENTS' DUTY TO MEN.RIDING. See RIDING—MEN.
SALUTATIONS. See SALUTATIONS—MEN.
SHAKING HANDS. See SHAKING HANDS—MEN.
STATIONERY. See STATIONERY—MEN.
STREET-CARS. See STREET-CARS—MEN.
STREET ETIQUETTE. See STREET ETIQUETTE—MEN.
THEATRE PARTIES. See THEATRE PARTIES—MEN.
TITLES. See TITLES—MEN.
TRAVELING. See TRAVELING—MEN.
WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS—MEN.
MESSENGER, SENDING CARDS BY. See CARDS, VISITING—SENDING BY MAIL OR MESSENGER.
MINISTER (PROTESTANT)-HOW ADDRESSED, An officialletter begins: Reverend Dear Sir, and ends:I remain sincerely yours.
A social letter begins: Dear Mr. Wilson,and ends: I beg to remain sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: TheReverend John J. Wilson. but if the clergymanholds the degree of D.D. (Doctor ofDivinity), the address may be: The ReverendJohn J. Wilson, D.D., or Reverend Dr. JohnJ. Wilson.
MINISTER. See CLERGYMAN.
MISS. This is the prefix both in conversation, correspondence, and on the visiting-card of the eldest daughter, the next daughter being known as Miss Annie Smith; but on the death or marriage of the eldest daughter, she becomes Miss Smith.
MONOGRAMS. If men and women wish, these may be stamped in the latest colors on their stationery. When the address is stamped, it is not customary to stamp the monogram.
The latest fashion in the style of monograms require that they should be the size of a ten-cent piece.
All individual eccentricities of facsimilesof handwriting, etc., should be avoided.
It is not customary to have the monogramon the flap of the envelope.
If sealing-wax is used, it should be of somedull color.
MORNING DRESS.MEN. Morning costume consists of a dark frockcoat, with vest and light trousers. This canbe worn at any entertainment occurring inthe daytime—as, weddings, luncheons, receptionsof all kinds, matinees, or ceremonious visits.
Anything worn is admissible in morning dress, a business suit, cutaway, sack suit, hats or caps, and undressed kid gloves of a dark color.
At out-of-town resorts, golf, wheeling, and yachting costumes suitable for outdoor sport may be worn in the morning.
It is considered the correct thing for a manto tie his own tie instead of buying themready made.
See also AFTERNOON DRESS—MEN. EVENINGDRESS—MEN.
MOTHER. A mother should receive an invitation for any function to which her daughters are invited, and should go and return with them.
DEBUTS. The mother and the elder unmarried daughter, prior to the debut, calls formally upon those who are to be invited. She stands at her daughter's side to receive the congratulations of the guests, and at a dance she selects the first partner to dance with the debutante, and at the dinner or supper is escorted by the most distinguished man. See also CHAPERONE.
MOTHER OF BRIDE. At the wedding reception she is escorted by the father of the groom, and receives with the married couple.
At the wedding breakfast she is escortedby the father of the groom.
MOTHER OF GROOM. At the wedding reception shereceives with the married couple.
At the wedding breakfast she is taken in by the father of the bride, following after the ushers and the maids of honor.
MOURNING. Those in mourning for parent, child, brother, or husband should not be seen at any public function or private entertainment before six months have passed.
CARDS. These are the same size as visiting-cards. A black border is used, the width to be regulated by the relationship to the deceased relative.
They should be sent to indicate temporary retirement from and re-entrance into society.
Within a month after death in a family friends should leave cards. The persons receiving the same should acknowledge the remembrance and sympathy when they are ready to resume their social functions. This may be done by letter or card.
MEN. Mourning cards are the same size asvisiting-cards, and a black border is used, thewidth to be regulated by the relationship ofdeceased relative.
WOMEN. Mourning cards should be sent, toindicate temporary retirement from society.Later cards should be sent, to indicate returnto society.
CHILDREN. Children under twelve need not be dressed in mourning, though they often are. Only the lightest material should be used. Girls of more advanced age do not wear veils, but crape may be worn in hat or dress, according to taste.
For parent, brother, or sister, mourning isworn for about one year.
MEN. Men wear mourning one year for loss ofwife.
A crape band should be worn around the hat, its width being determined by the nearness of the relative mourned for. It is usually removed after eight months.
A widower wears mourning for one year, or, if he wishes, eighteen months, and for a brother, sister, parent, or a child, from six months to a year, as he desires. For the loss of other relatives, duration of mourning is generally regulated by the members of the family.
The wearing of a black band on the coat sleeve in token of half-mourning is an English custom, and is somewhat practised in this country.
STATIONERY-MEN. A widower uses a black border about one-third of an inch on his stationery, and this at intervals is diminished.
All stamping should be done in black.
WOMEN. A widow's stationery should be heavily bordered, and is continued as long as she is in deep mourning. This is gradually decreased, in accordance with her change of mourning.
All embossing or stamping should be done in black.
WEDDINGS. Mourning should never be worn at a wedding, but it should be laid aside temporarily, the wearer appearing in purple.
WIDOWS. A widow should wear crape with a bonnet having a small border of white. The veil should be long, and worn over the face for three months, after which a shorter veil may be worn for a year, and then the face may be exposed. After six months white and lilac may be used, and colors resumed after two years.
WOMEN. The mourning dress of a woman for parent, sister, brother, or child is the same as that worn by a widow, save the white bonnet ruche—the unmistakable mark of a widow.
For parents and children, deepest mourning is worn at least one year, and then the change is gradually made by the addition of lighter material or half-mourning.
For other members of the family—as, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc.—black clothes should be worn, but not heavy mourning.
Complimentary mourning is worn for three months; this does not necessitate crape and veil, but any black material can be used.
WOMEN, FOR CHILDREN. For a child, mourning is usually worn for six months, thereafter substituting black and white.
FOR BROTHER AND SISTER, ETC. Mourning for a brother or sister, step-parents, or grandparents is the same as for parents, but the time is shorter, generally about six months. For an aunt, uncle, or cousin the time is three months.
FOR FIANCE. In the event of the death of a woman's betrothed shortly before the date of the wedding, she may wear black for a short period or full mourning for a year.
FOR HUSBANDS. Mourning cards are sent out, to indicate that they are not making or receiving calls.
Mourning is generally worn for two years, and sometimes much longer. Woolen material of the deepest black and crape should be worn during the first year.
When out-of-doors a crape veil should be worn for a year, or at least three months, covering the face, or, if preferred, the veil may be thrown over the shoulder, and a small one of tulle, or other suitable material, edged with crape, worn over the face.
A crape bonnet should be worn, and a very small white ruche may be added if desired.
After the first year a gradual change to lighter mourning may be made by discarding the widow's cap and shortening the veil. Dull silks are used in place of crape, according to taste. In warm weather lighter materials can be worn—as, pique, nun's veiling, or white lawn.
Black furs and sealskin may be worn. Precious stones, such as diamonds and pearls, may be used if mounted in black enamel. Gold jewelry should not be used. A woman should avoid all pretensions to excessive styles.
FOR HUSBAND'S RELATIVES. A married woman wears mourning for her husband's immediate relatives.
FOR PARENTS AND GRANDCHILDREN. Mourning for these persons is generally worn for one year. During the first six months, black material trimmed with crape is used, and also a deep veil, which is thrown over the back of the head and not worn over the face, as for a husband. After this period the mourning may be lightened, according to taste.
See also DEATH IN THE FAMILY. FUNERALS.
MR. AND MRS. CARDS ( VISITING). These cards are not generally used for ceremonious calls after the first series of return calls made by the bride.
If the husband is unable, the first year after marriage, to make formal calls, his wife uses the Mr. and Mrs. cards, and such is accepted as a call from him. But after one year she should leave their separate cards.
These are used on formal occasions-as, returning a first call, condolence, congratulations, or P. P. C.—when both the husband and wife are represented.
When they are used the first year aftermarriage, they should have the address inright-hand corner and reception days inlower left-hand corner.
The card should read:Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Wren Wilson
WEDDINGS. The organist and the music are usually selected by the bride. Before her arrival, the organist plays some bright selection; but on her entering the church and passing up the aisle, he plays the wedding march.
AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL). Music is always appropriate on these occasions.
DRESS. The rule would be that at an afternoon affair afternoon dress would be worn, and evening dress at an evening affair.
HOURS. For an afternoon musicale, the hours are usually from four to six. For an elaborate evening drawing-room concert, any hour may be selected.
INVITATIONS. These are sent out two weeks before the event. If entertainment is in the evening, they should be issued by husband and wife. If given in honor of a prominent person at any hour whatever, the cards should be engraved, and in either case the word Music should appear in the lower left- hand corner.
These should be acknowledged at once by a letter of acceptance or regret.
NAPKINS, when in use, are laid on the lap, and, when finished with, are not folded up unless one is a guest for a few days; on all other occasions they are left unfolded. A good plan is to follow the example of the hostess.
When fruit is brought on, a small fruit napkin is placed across the knee or held in the right hand, with which to hold the fruit, and when it is no longer needed, it should be laid beside the plate.
NAVY, SECRETARY OF—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.
A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson,and ends: I have the honor to remainmost sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: Hon. JohnJ. Wilson, Secretary of the Navy.
WOMEN. New acquaintances should not be invited to entertainments unless agreeable to all concerned.
An entertainment can be given to meetnew acquaintances if there be some specialreason for so doing.
Elderly persons and professional people can send their cards to younger persons if they wish to continue acquaintance.
BALL INVITATIONS. It is allowable for a new- comer wishing to give a ball to borrow the visiting list of some friend; but she should enclose in each invitation a calling card of this friend, so that the invited ones may know that the friend is acting as a sponsor.
DUTY OF. No effort should be made to obtain recognition of older residents.
Visits from neighbors should be returned within a week. If from any reason a newcomer is unable to call, a note stating the reason should be sent.
If visit of neighbor's male relative is desired, a woman may send him a written or verbal invitation; but if visit is not desired, no notice is taken of his card, in the event of one having been left.
RESIDENTS' DUTY TO MEN. When calling, kinswoman leaves cards of all the male members of family who are in society. If these cards left by kinswoman are not followed by an invitation to call, it is presumed that the acquaintance is not desired. Men can not call upon women of the family of new resident, unless invited to do so by either verbal or written message.
RESIDENTS' DUTY TO WOMEN. The newcomer receives the first call from the older resident, which should be made within a reasonable time. Women making the first call, leave their own card and those of the male members of the family.
It is unnecessary to be introduced in the absence of letters of introduction. Visits should be of short duration.
OLIVES are eaten with the fingers.
OPERA. See THEATRE.
ORANGES, served in divided sections, sweetened, and the seeds removed, should be eaten with the fork. If served whole, cut into suitable portions. Remove seed and skin.
ORGANIST AT WEDDINGS. The organist is selected by the bride, but the fee is paid by the groom.
OVERCOAT—MEN CALLING ON WOMEN. When making a formal or brief call, the overcoat should be left in the hall.
P. P. C. CARDS (VISITING). These letters—standing for Pour prendre conge (To take leave)—are written in the lower left-hand corner of the visiting-card. These cards are used as a formal farewell to such friends and acquaintances whose friendship it is desired to continue.
They may be left in person, or sent upon departure from city or winter or summer resort. They are rarely used in brief visits, and should only be used at the close of a season.
Care should be exercised in sending them, as an oversight in so doing may cause the loss of good friends.
PAGES AT WEDDINGS. At the wedding, if pages are present, they are usually dressed in satin court costumes, and carry the bride's train.
PALL-BEARERS. It is not good taste to ask relatives to be pall-bearers. The usual number is six to eight elderly men for elderly person, and of young men for a young man. Six young women in white would be a suitable number to act as pall-bearers for a young woman.
Pall-bearers should be asked either by note or by a representative of the head of the family of the deceased.
The pall-bearers assemble at the house at the appointed hour, and there take the carriages reserved for them. They disperse after the church service.
Except in the case of young women, carriages are not sent to bring pall-bearers to the house.
CALLS. After accepting an invitation to act as a pall-bearer, a man should call at the house of the bereaved and leave his card.
A few days after the funeral he should call again and leave his card. If he wishes, he may simply ask at the door after the women of the family.