ALISOUN
[Aside.]
Mistress? Aha!—A woman in the case.
[Aloud.]
Give us your hand, Sir Knight o’ the Wastel-bread,
And help me light adown.—
What! Are ye afeared
To take me in your arms?
CHAUCER
Sweet Alisoun,
Thou art a vision of the ruddy Venus
Bright pommelled on the unspotted Pegasus,
And I am Ganymede, thy stable boy.
[He helps her to alight.]
ALISOUN
Well swung! What think ye of my jolly heft?
CHAUCER
Thou art a very dandelion seed
And I thy zephyr.
MILLER
[To the Swains.]
’Sblood! He steals our wench.
SQUIRE
[Approaching Chaucer diffidently, speaks under his breath.]
Great Master Chaucer.
CHAUCER
Hush! Speak not my name.
[Takes the Squire aside.]
ALISOUN
Halloa! what’s struck this jolly company?
Ye’re flat as stale ale. Master Summoner, what’s
The matter now? Ye should be glad at heart
To wear so merry a bonfire in your face.
SUMMONER
Was it for this I sang, “Come hither, Love”?
COOK
Aye, was it for this?
ALISOUN
What, Roger Hogge, yourself?
How long, bird, have you worn a gallows-warrant
Upon your nose?
[The others hoot.]
COOK
As long, Dame Alisoun,
As you have had a hogshead for a sweetheart.
ALISOUN
Geoffrey, ye mean? Ho! Are ye jealous there?
[To the Shipman.]
Jack, too, and hast a wife to home at Dartmouth?
Hark, lads! This Jealousy is but a ninny;
For though there be a nine-and-twenty stars,
Yet Jealousy stares only at the moon.
Lo! I myself have made a vow ’twixt here
And holy Thomas’ shrine to twig a husband;
But if I like this fellow Geoffrey, can’t
I like ye all? By God, give me your fists;
And I will tip ye a secret.
[Mysteriously.]
I am deef!
Ye ken all great folks have some great defect:
Cupid is blind and Alisoun is deef;
But Cupid—he can wink the t’other eye,
And Alis—she can ope the t’other ear.
FRIAR
Sweet Alis, which is deaf?
ALISOUN
I said, the t’other.
FRIAR
Nay, but which ear, the right or left?
ALISOUN
Love, if
Ye guess the right ye won’t be left: how’s that?
So, fellows, ye can knock at either door;
And while Tom standeth scraping the front mat,
By God then, Dick, go rap at the side porch;
The t’other door is locked; I say not which.
[Laughing and boxing their ears as they try, in turn, to whisper to her, she leads them to the ale-barrel, where they drink.]
[Laughing and boxing their ears as they try, in turn, to whisper to her, she leads them to the ale-barrel, where they drink.]
FRIAR
Sweet brethren, drink with me to t’other ear!
ALISOUN
Here’s pot-luck to you all, lads!
PARDONER.
[Who has spread out his relics in another part of the room.]
Pardons! pardons!
Offer your nobles now; spoons, brooches, rings:
Radix malorum est cupiditas.
CHAUCER
[Aside to Squire.]
Pray, speak no word of who I am. I ride
To Canterbury now, to bid farewell
My kinsman, John of Gaunt. But on the road,
I travel here incognito.
SQUIRE
But, sir,
At least, beseech you, let me guard your person;
So mean an inn, such raw folk, must offend
King Richard’s royal poet.
CHAUCER
Not so, lad.
To live a king with kings, a clod with clods,
To be at heart a bird of every feather,
A fellow of the finch as well as the lark,
The equal of each, brother of every man:
Thatis to be a poet, and to blow
Apollo’s pipe with every breath you breathe.
Therefore, sweet boy, don’t label me again
In this good company.
SQUIRE
I will not, sir—
[Aside.]
A god! A very god!
PARDONER
Here’s relics! pardons!
Offer your nobles now; spoons, brooches, rings!
Lordings, step up! Pardons from Rome all hot.
[A crowd gathers round him.]
PARSON
[Lifting a relic.]
What’s this?
PARDONER
That, master, is the shoulder-bone
Of a sheep once slaughtered by a holy Jew.
Take heed, lordings, take heed! What man is here
That hath to home a well?
SEVERAL
I! I!
PARDONER
Pay heed!
Let any man take this same shoulder-bone
And chuck it in his well, and if he own
A cow, or calf, or ass, which hath the pox,
Take water from that well, and wash its tongue.
Presto! It shall be well again.
PLOUGHMAN
[To the Parson.]
By Mary,
I’ll try it on Mol.
PARDONER
Hark, lordings, what I say!
If also the goodman that owns the beasts
Shall, fasting, before cock-crow, drink three draughts
Of that same well, his store shall multiply.
PARSON
My word!
FRANKLIN
Nay, that’s worth while.
PARDONER
List what I say!
Also, if any wife shall boil a broth
Of this same bone, it healeth jealousy.
ALISOUN
Ho! give it me! And every fellow here
Shall suck the marrow-bone.
PARDONER
What will you offer?
ALISOUN
[Throws a kiss.]
That’s all ye get o’ me.
PARSON
I’ll give a florin.
PARDONER
Done, Master Parson. Listen, lordings, list!
This is a piece o’ the sail St. Peter had
When he walked on the sea; and lo! this cloth—
ALISOUN
A pillow-case!
PARDONER
This is the Virgin’s veil.
And in this crystal glass behold—
ALISOUN
Pig’s bones!
[Slaps Chaucer on the shoulder.]
What, Geoffrey lad! Which will ye liever kiss,
A dead saint’s bones, or a live lass—her lips?
[Enter, L., the Prioress.]
CHAUCER
Why, Alisoun, I say all flesh is grave-clothes,
And lips the flowers that blossom o’er our bones;
God planted ’em to bloom in laughter’s sunshine
And April kissing-showers.
[Laughing, he kisses Alisoun and faces the Prioress.]
St. Charity!
ALISOUN
Haha! That time I had thee on the rump.
[She calls the Friar aside, R.]
PRIORESS
[Starting to go.]
Je vous demande pardong, Monsieur.
CHAUCER
Madame,
Qu’est ce que je puis faire pour elle?
PRIORESS
Rien, rien.
CHAUCER
Madame, mais si vous saviez comme je meurs
De vous servir—
PRIORESS
You speak patois,
Monsieur;Istudied French in Stratford-at-the-Bowe.
CHAUCER
Your accent is adorably—unique.
PRIORESS
[Is about to melt, but sees Alisoun.]
And you a gentilhomme—at least I thought so
Whenas you saved my little hound—Ah, sir!
CHAUCER
Adam was our first father: I’m her brother.
PRIORESS
You meant no more?
CHAUCER
Her brother and your servant,
Madame. And for the rest, I ride to Canterbury:
I will absolve me at St. Thomas’ shrine.
PRIORESS
[Eagerly.]
Go you to Canterbury?
CHAUCER
With the rest.
PRIORESS
Oh! I am glad—that is, I came to ask you.
Know you, Monsieur, where lies upon the way
A little thorp men call Bob-up-and-down?
CHAUCER
Right well—we pass it on the road.
PRIORESS
We do?
Merci.
[Going.]
MILLER
[Amid uproar, drinks to Alisoun.]
Lend me thy t’other ear.
[Startled, the Prioress returns to Chaucer. Behind them,the Friar, at a sign from Alisoun, listens unobserved.]
PRIORESS
You see—
I expect to meet my brother on the road.
He is returning from the Holy Land;
I am to meet him at the One Nine-pin,
A tavern at Bob-up-and-down. But—
CHAUCER
But?
PRIORESS
I have not seen him since I was a child.
I have forgotten how he looks.
CHAUCER
He is
Returning from the Holy Land?
PRIORESS
And has
His son with him, for squire. He is a knight.
CHAUCER
[Aside, looking at the Knight and Squire.]
A son—his squire? Good Lord!
PRIORESS
And so, Monsieur,
I’m boldened by your courtesy to ask
Your help to find him at Bob-up-and-down,
Till which—your kind protection on the road.
[More uproar, R.]
CHAUCER
But—
PRIORESS
Have I asked too much?
CHAUCER
Madame, I am honoured.
[Hesitatingly.]
How, then, am I to recognise your brother?
PRIORESS
He wears a ring, on which is charactered
The letter “A,” and after, writ, in Latin,
The same inscription as is fashioned here
Upon my brooch. I may not take it off,
For I did promise him to wear it always.
But look, sir, here’s the motto. Can you read it?
[She extends her hand, from the bracelet of which dangles abrooch. The Friar draws nearer.]
CHAUCER
I thank you.
[Reads.]
“Amor vincit omnia.”
[Looking at her.]
“Love conquers all.”
PRIORESS
C’est juste, Monsieur. Adieu!
[Exit, L.]
FRIAR
[Making off to Alisoun.]
Hist! “Amor vincit omnia,” Sweet Alis!
[After talking aside with Alisoun he goes to the Knight.]
CHAUCER
[Aside, looking at the Knight and Squire.]
A morning’s canter to Bob-up-and-down!
“Till which—my kind protection on the road.”