FLIES
FLIES is 3 kinds, butter, and fire, and jest flies. The butter he is first a tadpole, and then he is a crisanthmum, and bime bi he is a real butter, but not a goat. Mister Pitchel, thats the preacher, he says that the butter fly a bustin out of the crisanthmum state in to a new life prooves that we have imortle souls, but my father he says what is prooved by the butty dyin pretty soon after?
Once me and Uncle Ned and Missy, thats my sister, we was in the garden and there was a butter fly, and Missy she said why was they like girls, meanin that they are fond of flowers, or is pretty, or some sech rot.
Uncle Ned he spoke up and said: “Cause its good fun to chase them, but it spiles them to catch them.”
He says 2 men which had been in a election riot was goin to their homes in the country one night, and one said to the other: “Let me lean on you, and what ever happens dont you desert a old friend.”
When they had gone a mile or 2 that way the other feler he said: “Dont you feel any better now?”
The staggery man he said: “No, not much, Ime a fraid I will drop. It must been a awfle blow, not any pain for to speak of, but Ime a seein stars till this minute!”
Then the other feller he seen how it was, cause it was only jest the fire flies, which was evry where, and he said to his self: “A wise man cant make no body wise, but a fool can make a fool of a other man.”
When it is a hot day my father he lies down for to sleep. He snores a while, and then he wakes up and says: “Cuss them flies! Johnny, bring me theTribune,” and puts it over his face like it was a tent and his nose was the center pole. One day I give him theTimes, which Mister Brily, thats the fat butcher, had sent around a calfs toung, and when my father he waked and seen what paper it was he said: “Johnny, dident you know what paper this thing is?”
I said I did, and he said: “Dont you know that flies is better than theTimes?”
Then I said: “Yes, father, but there was a wops.”
Father he thought a long time, and final he said: “Well, my son, you know what I think of flies, and you know whatI think of news papers, and particklar you know what I think of the New YorkTimes, but, Johnny, if there was a wops, and you heard it say that it was a goin to sit on your fathers nose and sting him deep in both his beutiful eyes, and your sister was a wearin theTribunefor to improve her figgure, I will over look your fault this time if you get out of this real quick.”
So I jumpt out of the door jest as he flang a book at me.
The Bible it says thou shall be kind to thy father, for of such is the kingdom of Heaven, but the wicked shall have eternle life.