MUNKYS
A MAN had a pet munky, and the mans boy hated the munky cause it done every thing which he done his self. One terrible cold winter evenin the boy got 2 buckets of water and set them out doors. Then he got a piece of rope and tied it around him under his jacket and let the end hang down like it was a tail, and then he set down on the edge of one bucket and let the rope hang in the water. The munky it looked on, and then it tost its head, contemptible, much as to say it could do that too, and it went to the other bucket and done it. Then the water it froze and the boy he untied the rope and went in the house, but the munky couldent untie its tail, and it stayd there and in the mornin it was froze to death.
When the man found the dead munk he swore awful, cause he liked him, but the boy he come up and put his kanuckle in his eye, like he was cryin, and said: “Poor little feller, what a pity he died jest as he had got most out.”
Mister Gipple he says there was a painter, and he painted a picture of a awfle hiddeous babboon, and he was mighty homely his own self. His wife she hadnt see the picture, cause she was pretty and didnt care for art. One day the painter he looked in the parlor where his wife was, and said: “Ime a goin out, and shant be back till a long time,” for he was takin the picture of the bab to the mans house which had bought it. But when he got there the man was too sick abed for to look at it, so he brought it back home, the painter did, and as he was a passin the parlor window he looked in and seen his wife a sleep in her chair, facin the window.
Then the painter he said to hisself: “I will give her a good scare.” So he set the picture on the window sil out side, like it was a lookin in, and then he let his self in the house with a lach key, and set down by his wife, and took her hand and prest it mighty lovin, and she smiled in her sleep and mummered “Dear Henry,” which wasnt his name. After a while she opend her eyes and seen the picture of the bab a lookin in to the window. She started like she was shot dead, and with out lookin round she cried out: “O my! he has come back. Get under thepiano!”
Now what is the sense of sech a story as that? But the rhi nosey rose is the king of beasts.
Jack Brily, which is the wicked sailor, he says one time him and the captin of his ship and the bosen they went a shore on a savvage iland for to look for coco nuts. While Jack was a little way from the captin and the bosen the natif niggers they come and catched them fellers and took them away and sinked the boat. Then they come back and run towards Jack for to catch him too, but Jack he stood on his head and made frightfle faces. So they said he was a god, and led him to their king, which showed him great respeck and took his cloes off and had him painted green and yellow, and set him on a clay throne and worshipt him while he continude to make mouths frequent.
That night the natif niggers made a great feast of stew and Jack, which set by the king said: “What is it made of?”
The king said: “It is horse, which is the noblest of birds.”
So Jack, which was mighty hungry, he took a big wood spoon and fished round in the stew pot, and pretty soon brought up a lether belt, and a shoe string,and a finger ring. Then he suddenly leeped to his feets like a thing of life, and turned a hand spring, and roled his eyes awful, and shouted: “Rash mortle! Horse is forbid to be et by gods, and you have stewed it with the harness on! Fetch me some roasted munky this minute, with the tail on, or I will make your nose grow to your hand!”
Jack says he stayed on the iland 5 years and was fed so much munky that when he excaped to a ship he scampered up the riggin and leeped from mast to mast and chattered srill!