KANGAROONS

KANGAROONS

THE wood chuck lives in a hole and is fat like he was butter, but the kangaroon leaps upon the fo and rends him lim from lim! Chucks is mammals but the kang is a grass hopper and moves in a mysterious way. The she one has a pocket on her belly and puts every thing in it which dont belong to her. One time a kang which was a show she got out of the cage and stole some black smith tools and hid them in her pouch. When she was put back in the cage the black smith come and told the show man that some gum dasted thief had stole his kit. The show man he knew how it was, and went in the kangs cage and took out his knife and made believe to rip her open. Then he put his arm in her pouch and pulled out a hammer and a tongs and some other things, and said: “Is them yourn?”

The black he was a stonish. He looked a while at the tools and then he looked a while at the kang, which was eatin a wisp of hay, real peaceful and happy, and then he looked at the show man, and bime be he said: “No, you gam doodled hipnotist,thems opticle ilusions, but mine was real, sure enough, flesh and blood tools.”

The show man he said: “Is that so? Then I guess we better go and open the ostridge.”

But the black he was mad and left the sceene with slow and stately tread.

Now Ile tell you a other, which Uncle Ned told me. A scientificle feller went to the zoo and seen a kang which was out of doors. He looked at it a long time and then he said to a keeper, the scientificle feller did: “You got a jewel here, cause it is a xtinct specie, which I cant rightly name off hand. Of course it cant walk with such legs as them, and it may be what the Scriptures call a creepin thing.”

The keeper he said: “Maybe it will help you identify him if I tell you his name is Rickoshay. Make a effort, Rick, and creep for the gentman.”

Then the show man he whacked the roon on the tail with his stick, and the roon it went away like it was shot out of a gun and in a half dozen leaps was lost to view in a long cloud of dust. Then the other feller he shooked his head, real wise, and said: “Once more has Science demstrated the falibility of the Scriptures andover threw Religion.”

A traveler in the torpid zone, where the kangaroon is to home, he see one sittin by the road side on its haunches, and its fore paws was hangin down on its breast like a little dogs which has been taught to beg. The traveler had a kind heart and he said: “Here you poor hungry thing, what ever you are, take a biscit.”

But when he threw the biscit the kang it jumpt like lightnin a awful distance, and when it had lit it looked back and twinkled its ears, much as to say: “Never touched me!”

The traveler he took out his note book and wrote: “This country is subject to great convulshions of nature, which cause some of the most sudden and remarkble up heavels known to science and baffles the generous instinckts of the yuman heart.”

But my sisters young man, which told me the story, he says the greatest up heavle known to science is when the hi potamus rises from his beauty sleep and salutes the dawn.

The old he kangaroon is a stag and the she feller is a duck bill and the little ones is katy dids, and thats why I say variety is the staff of life. The kangs tail is the biggest in the world and is highly respected for soup, but Jack Brily, which isthe wicked sailor, says give him plum duff and a spankin breeze!

Jack says he was one time ship wreck on a island, and was caught by some native niggers which took him before their king and said: “If you please, here is one of them gods which is some times washed ashore when the wind is west.”

The king he loocked at Jack a while, and bime by he said: “Take him out and lick him till he gives us good weather for the coco nuts.”

Jack he spoke up and said, Jack did: “I aint that kind of god. The one which could rule the weather was et by a shark jest fore he reached the land. Ime the feller which bestows good government.”

The king said: “Then we havnt no use for you, cause we are mighty well off that way.”

But one of the natif niggers he said: “I dont know about that. I guess we better lick him any how and see what comes of it.”

Jack he said: “Never mind about the lickin, I will waive all pomp and ceremony and give you good govment any how if you do as I say, jest like they have in America, where I am worshipt the hardest. What kind of a king is that feller?”

The Prime Minister he said he was a mighty good one, cause he had been kingin all his life.

Jack he said: “Then what you need is rotasion in office. Turn him out to once and put in a new man which nearly one half the peoples have said they didn’t want.”

The natifs said there wasn’t any sech man, cause when ever a bad man was seen he was took up and skinned alive. Jack he thought a while, and bime by he said: “Got any of them skins?”

They said they guessed the last one took was in the rogues galery, and Jack said: “Stuff it and make it Presdent, and you will have liberty.”

A nigger he spoke up and said: “We have liberty, what is a Presdent?”

Jest then a other nigger come up, with a grip sack in his hand, and he said: “Where I come from we have a Presdent, what is liberty?”

Then Jack walked over to that feller and shook his hand and said: “I am dog gone glad for to see you, old man, how was things goin when you left New York?”

Patrick Henry he said: “Give me liberty or treat me mighty well in jail,” but George Washington he waved his big sticker and shouted the bottle cry of fredom!

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