VERMIN.Thare may not be az mutch ambishun in it, but thare iz a glory in it, az krazy, and az safe, az soda water.It don’t take mutch tew make me happy, but it will take more munny than enny man on this futtstool, haz got, tew buy out the little stock I alwuss keep on hand.THE LADY BUG.The lady bug iz the most genteel vermin in market.They are spotted red and blak for color, are about the size ov a double B shot, and don’t look unlike a drop ov red sealing wax.They hang around gardens in the spring ov the year, and are wuss, and quicker, on kukumber vines, than a distrikt skoolmaster iz on a kittle ov warm pork and beans.The lady bug iz the pet ov little children, who ketch them in their hands and then sing to them the old nursery rime:“Lady bug, lady bug, fly away home,Your house is on fire, and your children will roam.”Let them go, and sure enough the lady bug duz put for home in a grate hurry.The lady bug iz probably useful, but Webster’s unabridged dont tell us for what.Whenever i cum akros enny bug, that i dont know what they waz built for, i dont blame the bug.204I hav grate phaith in ennything that kreeps, krawls, or even wiggles, and tho i haint been able tew satisfy miself all about the usefulness ov bed bugs, musketoze, and striped snaix, i hav phaith that Divine Providence did not make them in vain.Phaith iz knolledge ov the highest order.THE TREE-TUD.Did you ever see a tree-tud, mi christian friends? If yu didn’t, cum with me next July, and i will sho yu one.Morrally konsidered, they are like enny other tud, physikally they aint.They are about the size ov an old-fashioned 25 cent piece, a hed on one side ov them, and a tail on the other.They are the only tuds that kan klimb with enny degree of alakrity, and are the only ones that kan sing like a tea-kittle when she is cooking water.Tree-tuds, when they are on a tree, or on the top rale ov a phence, hav the faculty ov disguising their personal looks, and appearing exactly like the spot where they set.I have often put mi hand on them in getting over a phence. They wont bight nor jaw back, but they feal az raw and kold az the yelk ov an egg.The tree-tud livs upon flies and sitch like vittles, but if they dont git enny thing tew eat, they dont strike for higher wages.A tree-tud will liv all summer on a south wind, with an ockashional drop ov dew to wet hiz song.They kan outdiet any bug or jumping thing i kno ov.THE PORKUPINE.The porkupine iz a kind ov thorny woodchuck.They are bigger than a rat, and smaller than a calf.They liv in the ground, and are az prikly all over az a chesnutt burr, or a case ov the hives.It iz sed that they hav the power ov throwing their prickers like a javelin, but this iz a smart falshood.An old dog wont tutch a porkupine enny quicker than he205would a phire brand, but yung dogs pitch into them like urchins into a sugar hogshed.The konsequentz ov this iz they git their mouths philled with prickers, which are bearded, and kant bak out.A porkupine’s quill when it enters goes klean thru and cums out on the other side ov things. This iz a way they hav got.The porkupine iz not bad vittles, their meat tastes like pork and beans with the beans left out.They hav a cute way ov stealing apples known only to a phew.I hav seen them run under an apple tree, and rolling over on the fruit which had fallen from the tree, carry oph on their prickers a dozen ov them.I hav often told this story to people, but never got enny tew beleave it yet.Porkupines hav got a destiny tew phill, it may be only a hole in the ground, but they kan phill that az phull az it will hold.DEVIL’S DARNING NEEDLE.This floating animal iz a fly about twenty times az big az a hornet, with a pair ov wings on him az mutch out ov proporshun tew hiz boddy az a pair ov oars are to a shell boat.They hang around mill ponds in hot weather, and when i waz a boy if one ov them cum and sot on the further end ov the log whare i waz a setting i alwus aroze and gave him the whole of the log.They hav a boddy like a piece ov wire, sharp at the end, and look az tho they mite sting a phello cheerfully, but i beleave there iz no more sting in them than thare iz in kold water.All children are afrade ov them, and i kno ov one man now who had rather enkounter a wild kat (provided the kat waz up in the top ov a tree and likely to stay thare) than tew intersect a devil’s darning needle.They derive their name from the shape ov their boddys and their devilish appearance generally. (See Webster’s unabridged on this subjekt.)206
VERMIN.
VERMIN.
Thare may not be az mutch ambishun in it, but thare iz a glory in it, az krazy, and az safe, az soda water.
It don’t take mutch tew make me happy, but it will take more munny than enny man on this futtstool, haz got, tew buy out the little stock I alwuss keep on hand.
The lady bug iz the most genteel vermin in market.
They are spotted red and blak for color, are about the size ov a double B shot, and don’t look unlike a drop ov red sealing wax.
They hang around gardens in the spring ov the year, and are wuss, and quicker, on kukumber vines, than a distrikt skoolmaster iz on a kittle ov warm pork and beans.
The lady bug iz the pet ov little children, who ketch them in their hands and then sing to them the old nursery rime:
“Lady bug, lady bug, fly away home,Your house is on fire, and your children will roam.”
“Lady bug, lady bug, fly away home,
Your house is on fire, and your children will roam.”
Let them go, and sure enough the lady bug duz put for home in a grate hurry.
The lady bug iz probably useful, but Webster’s unabridged dont tell us for what.
Whenever i cum akros enny bug, that i dont know what they waz built for, i dont blame the bug.
I hav grate phaith in ennything that kreeps, krawls, or even wiggles, and tho i haint been able tew satisfy miself all about the usefulness ov bed bugs, musketoze, and striped snaix, i hav phaith that Divine Providence did not make them in vain.
Phaith iz knolledge ov the highest order.
Did you ever see a tree-tud, mi christian friends? If yu didn’t, cum with me next July, and i will sho yu one.
Morrally konsidered, they are like enny other tud, physikally they aint.
They are about the size ov an old-fashioned 25 cent piece, a hed on one side ov them, and a tail on the other.
They are the only tuds that kan klimb with enny degree of alakrity, and are the only ones that kan sing like a tea-kittle when she is cooking water.
Tree-tuds, when they are on a tree, or on the top rale ov a phence, hav the faculty ov disguising their personal looks, and appearing exactly like the spot where they set.
I have often put mi hand on them in getting over a phence. They wont bight nor jaw back, but they feal az raw and kold az the yelk ov an egg.
The tree-tud livs upon flies and sitch like vittles, but if they dont git enny thing tew eat, they dont strike for higher wages.
A tree-tud will liv all summer on a south wind, with an ockashional drop ov dew to wet hiz song.
They kan outdiet any bug or jumping thing i kno ov.
The porkupine iz a kind ov thorny woodchuck.
They are bigger than a rat, and smaller than a calf.
They liv in the ground, and are az prikly all over az a chesnutt burr, or a case ov the hives.
It iz sed that they hav the power ov throwing their prickers like a javelin, but this iz a smart falshood.
An old dog wont tutch a porkupine enny quicker than he205would a phire brand, but yung dogs pitch into them like urchins into a sugar hogshed.
The konsequentz ov this iz they git their mouths philled with prickers, which are bearded, and kant bak out.
A porkupine’s quill when it enters goes klean thru and cums out on the other side ov things. This iz a way they hav got.
The porkupine iz not bad vittles, their meat tastes like pork and beans with the beans left out.
They hav a cute way ov stealing apples known only to a phew.
I hav seen them run under an apple tree, and rolling over on the fruit which had fallen from the tree, carry oph on their prickers a dozen ov them.
I hav often told this story to people, but never got enny tew beleave it yet.
Porkupines hav got a destiny tew phill, it may be only a hole in the ground, but they kan phill that az phull az it will hold.
This floating animal iz a fly about twenty times az big az a hornet, with a pair ov wings on him az mutch out ov proporshun tew hiz boddy az a pair ov oars are to a shell boat.
They hang around mill ponds in hot weather, and when i waz a boy if one ov them cum and sot on the further end ov the log whare i waz a setting i alwus aroze and gave him the whole of the log.
They hav a boddy like a piece ov wire, sharp at the end, and look az tho they mite sting a phello cheerfully, but i beleave there iz no more sting in them than thare iz in kold water.
All children are afrade ov them, and i kno ov one man now who had rather enkounter a wild kat (provided the kat waz up in the top ov a tree and likely to stay thare) than tew intersect a devil’s darning needle.
They derive their name from the shape ov their boddys and their devilish appearance generally. (See Webster’s unabridged on this subjekt.)