Page113
Reflections on leaving Eton—A University Whip—Sketches onthe Road—The Joneses of Jesus—Picturesque Appearance ofOxford from the Distance—The Arrival—Welcome of an OldEtonian—Visit to Dr. Dingyman—A University Don—Presentation to the Big Wig—Ceremony of Matriculation."Yes; if there be one sacred scene of ease,Where reason yet may dawn, and virtue please;Where ancient science bursts again to viewWith mightier truths, which Athens never knew,One spot to order, peace, religion dear;Rise, honest pride, nor blush to claim it here."
Who shall attempt to describe the sensations of a young and ardent mind just bursting from the trammels of scholastic discipline to breathe the purer air of classic freedom—to leap at once fromboyhood and subjection into maturity and unrestricted liberty of conduct; or who can paint the heart's agitation, the conflicting passions which prevail when the important moment arrives that is to separate him from the associates of his infancy; from the endearing friendships of his earliest years; from his schoolboy sports and pastimes (often the most grateful recollections of a riper period); or from those ancient spires and familiar scenes to which his heart is wedded in its purest and earliest love.
Reader, if you have ever tasted of the delightful cup of youthful friendship, and pressed with all the glow of early and sincere attachment the venerable hand of a kind instructor, or met the wistful eye and hearty grasp of parting schoolfellows, and ancient dames, and obliging servants, you will easily discover how embarrassing a task it must be to depict in words the agitating sensations which at such a moment spread their varied influence over the mind. I had taken care to secure the box seat of the old Oxford, that on my approach I might enjoy an uninterrupted view of the classic turrets and lofty spires of sacred {Academus}. Contemplation had fixed his seal upon my young lips for the first ten miles of my journey. Abstracted and thoughtful, I had scarce turned my eye to admire the beauties of the surrounding scenery, or lent my ear to the busy hum of my fellow passengers' conversation, when a sudden action of the coach, which produced a sensation of alarm, first broke the gloomy mist that had encompassed me. After my fears had subsided, I inquired of the coachman what was the name of the place we had arrived at, and was answered Henley.-"Stony Henley, sir," said our driver: "you might have discovered that by thebit of a shakewe just now experienced. I'll bet abullfinch{1} that you know the place well enough, my young master, before you've been two terms at Oxford."
1 A sovereign.
This familiarity of style struck me as deserving reprehension; but I reflected this classic Jehu was perhaps licensed by the light-hearted sons ofAlma Materin these liberties of speech. Suspending therefore my indignation, I proceeded,—"And why so?" said I inquisitively:—"Why I know when I was an under graduate{2} of ——, where my father was principal, I used to keep a goodpradhere for a bolt to the village,{3} and then I had a fresh hack always on the road to help me back to chapel prayers."{4} The nonchalance of the speaker, and the easy indifference with which he alluded to his former situation in life, struck me with astonishment, and created a curiosity to know more of his adventures; he had, I found, brought himself to his present degradation by a passion for gaming and driving, which had usurped every just and moral feeling. His father, I have since learned, felt his conduct deeply, and had been dead some time. His venerable mother having advanced him all her remaining property, was now reduced to a dependence upon the benevolence of a few liberal-minded Oxford friends, and this son of the once celebrated head of————college was now so lost to every sense of shame that he preferred the Oxford road to exhibit himself on in his new character of a {university whip}.
2 The circumstances here narrated are unfortunately toonotorious to require further explanation: the character,drawn from the life, forms the vignette to this chapter.3 A cant phrase for a stolen run to the metropolis. Nounusual circumstance with a gay Oxonian, some of whom havebeen known to ride the same horse the whole distance andback again after prayers, and before daylight the nextmorning.4 When (to use the Oxford phrase) a man is confined tochapel, or compelled to attend chapel prayers, it is adangerous risk to be missing,—a severe imposition andsometimes rustication is sure to be the penalty.
Immediately behind me on the roof of the vehicle sat a rosy-looking little gentleman, the rotundity of whose figure proclaimed him a man of some substance; he was habited in a suit of clerical mixture, with the true orthodox hat and rosette in front, the broadness of its brim serving to throw a fine mellow shadow over the upper part of a countenance, which would have formed a choice study for the luxuriant pencil of some modern Rubens; the eyes were partially obscured in the deep recesses of an overhanging brow, and a high fat cheek, and the whole figure brought to my recollection a representation I had somewhere seen of Silenus reproving his Bacchanals: the picture was the more striking by the contrasted subjects it was opposed to: on one side was a spare-looking stripling, of about the age of eighteen, with lank hair brushed smoothly over his forehead, and a demure, half-idiot-looking countenance, that seemed to catch what little expression it had from the reflection of its sire, for such I discovered was the ancient's affinity to this cadaverous importation from North Wales. The father, a Welsh rector of at least one hundred and fifty pounds per annum, was conveying his eldest born to the care of the principal of Jesus, of which college the family of the Joneses{5} had been a leading name since the time of their great ancestor Hugh ap Price, son of Rees ap Rees, a wealthy burgess of Brecknock, who founded this college for the sole use of the sons of Cambria, in 1571.
5 DAVID JONES OR, WINE AND WORSTED.Hugh Morgan, cousin of that HughWhose cousin was, the Lord knows who,Was likewise, as the story runs,Tenth cousin of one David Jones.David, well stored with classic knowledge,Was sent betimes to Jesus College;Paternal bounty left him clearFor life one hundred pounds a year;And Jones was deem'd another CroesusAmong the Commoners of Jesus.It boots not here to quote tradition,In proof of David's erudition;—He could unfold the mystery high,Of Paulo-posts, and verbs in u;Scan Virgil, and, in mathematics,Prove that straight lines were not quadratics.All Oxford hail'd the youth'singressus,And wond'ring Welshmen cried "Cot pless us!"It happen'd that his cousin HughThrough Oxford pass'd, to Cambria due,And from his erudite relationReceiv'd a written invitation.
Hugh to the college gate repair'd,And ask'd for Jones;—the porter stared!"Jones! Sir," quoth he, "discriminate:Of Mr. Joneses there be eight.""Ay, but 'tis David Jones," quoth Hugh;Quoth porter, "We've six Davids too.""Cot's flesh!" cries Morgan, "cease your mockings,My David Jones wears worsted stockings!"Quoth porter, "Which it is, Heaven knows,For all the eight wear worsted hose.""My Cot!" says Hugh, "I'm ask'd to dineWith cousin Jones, and quaff his wine.""That one word 'wine' is worth a dozen,"Quoth porter, "now I know your cousin;The wine has stood you, sir, in more steadThan David, or the hose of worsted;You'll find your friend at number nine—We've but one Jones that quaffs his wine."
All these particulars I gleaned from the rapid delivery of the Welsh rector, who betrayed no little anxiety to discover if I was of the university; how long I had been matriculated; what was my opinion of the schools, and above all, if the same system of extravagance was pursued by the students, and under-graduates. Too cautious to confess myself a freshman, I was therefore compelled to close the inquiry with a simple negative to his early questions, and an avowal of my ignorance in the last particular. The deficiency was, however, readily supplied by an old gentleman, who sat on the other side of the reverend Mr. Jones. I had takenhim, in the first instance, for a doctor of laws, physic, or divinity, by the studied neatness of his dress, the powdered head, and ancient appendage of aqueue; with a measured manner of delivery, joined to an affected solemnity of carriage, and authoritative style. He knew every body, from the Vice-Chancellor to the scout; ran through a long tirade against driving and drinking, which he described as the capital sins of the sons ofAlma Mater, complimented the old rector on his choice of a college for his son, and concluded with lamenting the great extravagance of the young men of the present day, whose affection for long credit compelled honest tradesmen to make out long bills to meet the loss of interest they sustain by dunning and delay. "Observe, sir," said he,
"The youth of England in our happy age!See, to their view what varied pleasure springs,Cards, tennis, hilliards, and ten thousand things;'Tis theirs the coat with neater grace to wear,Or tie the neckcloth with a royal air:The rapid race of wild expense to run;To drive the tandem or the chaise and one;To float along the Isis, or to flyIn haste to Abingdon,—who knows not why?To gaze in shops, and saunter hours awayIn raising bills, they never think to pay:Then deep carouse, and raise their glee the more,While angry duns assault th' unheeding door,And feed the best old man that ever trod,The merry poacher who defies his God."
"You forget the long purses, Sir E—," said our classical Jehu, "which some of the Oxford tradesmen have acquired by these long practices of the university, Sir E—." The little Welsh rector bowed with astonishment, while his rustic scion stared with wild alarm to find himself for the first time in his life in company with a man of title. A wink from coachee accompanied with an action of hisrein angleagainst my side, followed by a suppressed laugh, prepared mefor some important communications relative to my fellow traveller. "An oldsnyder,"{6} whispered Jehu, "who was once mayor of Oxford, and they do say was knighted by mistake,—' a thing of shreds and patches,'
'Who, by short skirts and little capes,Items for buckram, twist, and tapes, '
has, in his time, fine drawn half the university; but having retired from the seat of trade, now seeks the seat of the Muses, and writes fustian rhymes and bell-men's odes at Christmas time: a mere clod, but a great man with the corporation."
We had now arrived on the heights within a short distance of the city of Oxford, and I had the gratification for the first time to obtain a glance of sacredAcademuspeeping from between the elm groves in which she is embowered, to view those turrets which were to be the future scene of all my hopes and fears. Never shall I forget the sensations,
"——When first these glistening eyes survey'dMajestic Oxford's hundred towers display'd;And silver Isis rolling at her feetAdorn the sage's and the poet's seat:Saw Radcliffe's dome in classic beauty rear'd,And learning's stores in Bodley's pile revered;First view'd, with humble awe, the steps that stray'dSlow in the gloom of academic shade,Or framed in thought, with fancy's magic wand,Wise Bacon's arch; thy bower, fair Rosamond."
In the bosom of a delightful valley, surrounded by the most luxuriant meadows, and environed by gently swelling hills, smiling in all the pride of cultivated beauty, on every side diversified by hanging wood, stands the fair city of learning and the arts. The two great roads from the capital converge upon the small church of St. Clement, in the eastern suburb, from whence, advancing in a westerly direction, youarrive at Magdalen bridge, so named from the college adjoining, whose lofty graceful tower is considered a fine specimen of architecture. The prospect of the city from this point is singularly grand and captivating; on the left, the botanical garden, with its handsome portal; beyond, steeples and towers of every varied form shooting up in different degrees of elevation. The view of the High-street is magnificent, and must impress the youthful mind with sentiments of awe and veneration. Its picturesque curve and expansive width, the noble assemblage of public and private edifices in all the pride of varied art, not rising in splendid uniformity, but producing an enchantingly varied whole, the entire perspective of which admits of no European rival—
"The awful tow'rs which seem for science made;The solemn chapels, which to prayer invite,Whose storied windows shed a holy light—"
the colleges of Queen's and All Souls', with the churches of St. Mary and All Saints' on the northern side of the street, and the venerable front of University College on the south, present at every step objects for contemplation and delight. Whirling up this graceful curvature, we alighted at the Mitre, an inn in the front of the High-street, inclining towards Carfax. A number of under graduates in their academicals were posted round the door, or lounging on the opposite side, to watch the arrival of the coach, and amuse themselves with quizzing the passengers. Among the foremost of the group, and not the least active, was my old schoolfellow and con, Tom Echo, now of Christ Church. The recognition was instantaneous; the welcome a hearty one, in the true Etonian style; and the first connected sentence an invitation to dinner. "I shall make a party on purpose to introduce you, old chap," said Tom, "that is,as soon as you have made your bow to thebig wig:{7} but I say, old fellow, where are you entered 1 we are most of us overflowingly full here." I quickly satisfied his curiosity upon that point, by informing him I had been for some time enrolled upon the list of the foundation of Brazennose, and had received orders to come up and enter myself. Our conversation now turned upon the necessary ceremonies of matriculation.
Tom's face was enlivened to a degree when I showed him my letter of introduction to Dr. Dingyman, of L-n college. "What, the opposition member, the Oxford Palladio? Why, you might just as well expect to move the Temple of the Winds from Athens to Oxford, without displacing a fragment, as to hope the doctor will present you to the vice-chancellor.—It won't do. We must find you some more tractable personage; some good-humoured nob that stands well with the principals, tells funny stories to their ladies, and drinks his three bottles like a true son of orthodoxy." "For Heaven's sake! my dear fellow, if you do not wish to be pointed at, booked for an eccentric, or suspected of being profound, abandon all intention of being introduced through that medium. A first interview with that singular man will produce an examination that would far exceed the perils of thegreat go{8}-he will try your proficiency by the chart and scale of truth." "Be that as it may, Tom," said I, not a little alarmed by the account I had heard of the person to whom I was to owe my first introduction to alma mater, "I shall make the attempt; and should I fail, I shall yet hope to avail myself of your proffered kindness."
7 A BIG WIG. Head of a college.A DON. A learned man.A NOB. A fellow of a college.8 The principal examining school.
After partaking of some refreshment, and adjusting my dress, we sallied forth to lionise, as Tom called it, which is the Oxford term for gazing about, usually applied to strangers. Proceeding a little way along the high street from the Mitre, and turning up the first opening on our left hand, we stood before the gateway of Lincoln college. Here Tom shook hands, wished me a safe passport through what he was pleased to term the "Oxonia purgata" and left me, after receiving my promise to join the dinner party at Christ Church.
I had never felt so awkwardly in my life before: the apprehensions I was under of a severe examination; the difficulty of encountering a man whose superior learning and endowments of mind had rendered him the envy of the University, and above all, his reputed eccentricity of manners, created fears that almost palsied my tongue when I approached the hall to announce my arrival. If my ideas of the person had thus confounded me, my terrors were doubly increased upon entering his chamber: shelves groaning with ponderous folios and quartos of the most esteemed Latin and Greek authors, fragments of Grecian and Roman architecture, were disposed around the room; on the table lay a copy of Stuart's Athens, with a portfolio of drawings from Palladio and Vitruvius, and Pozzo's perspective. In a moment the doctor entered, and, advancing towards me, seized my hand before I could scarcely articulate my respects. "I am glad to see you—be seated—you are of Eton, I read, an ancient name and highly respected here—what works have you been lately reading?" I immediately ran through the list of our best school classics, at which I perceived the doctor smiled. "You have been treated, I perceive, like all who have preceded you: the bigotry of scholastic prejudices is intolerable. I have been for fifty years labouring to remove the veil, and have yet contrivedto raise only one corner of it. Nothing," continued the doctor, "has stinted the growth and hindered the improvement of sound learning more than a superstitious reverence for the ancients; by which it is presumed that their works form the summit of all learning, and that nothing can be added to their discoveries. Under this absurd and ridiculous prejudice, all the universities of Europe have laboured for many years, and are only just beginning to see their error, by the encouragement of natural philosophy. Experimental learning is the only mode by which the juvenile mind should be trained and exercised, in order to bring all its faculties to their proper action: instead of being involved in the mists of antiquity." Can it be possible, thought I, this is the person of whom my friend Tom gave such a curious account? Can this be the man who is described as a being always buried in abstracted thoughtfulness on the architer cural remains of antiquity, whose opinions are said never to harmonize with those of other heads of colleges; who is described as eccentric, because he has a singular veneration for truth, and an utter abhorrence of the dogmas of scholastic prejudice 1 There are some few characters in the most elevated situations of life, who possess the amiable secret of attaching every one to them who have the honour of being admitted into their presence, without losing one particle of dignity, by their courteous manner. This agreeable qualification the doctor appeared to possess in an eminent degree. I had not been five minutes in his company before I felt as perfectly unembarrassed as if I had known him intimately for twelve months. It could not be the result of confidence on my part, for no poor fellow ever felt more abashed upon a first entrance; and must therefore only be attributable to that indescribable condescension of easy intercourse which is the sure characteristic of a superior mind.
After inquiring who was to be my tutor, and finding I was not yet fixed in that particular, I was requested to construe one of the easiest passages in the Æneid; my next task was to read a few paragraphs of monkish Latin from a little white book, which I found contained the university statutes: having acquitted myself in this to the apparent satisfaction of the doctor, he next proceeded to give me his advice upon my future conduct and pursuits in the university; remarked that his old friend, my father, could not have selected a more unfortunate person to usher me into notice: that his habits were those of a recluse, and his associations confined almost within the walls of his own college; but that his good wishes for the son of an old friend and schoolfellow would, on this occasion, induce him to present me, in person, to the principal of Brazennose, of whom he took occasion to speak in the highest possible terms. Having ordered me a sandwich and a glass of wine for my refreshment, he left me to adjust his dress, preparatory to our visit to the dignitary. During his absence I employed the interval in amusing myself with a small octavo volume, entitled the "Oxford Spy:" the singular coincidence of the following extract according so completely with the previous remarks of the doctor, induced me to believe it was his production; but in this suspicion, I have since been informed, I was in error, the work being written by Shergold Boone, Esq. a young member of the university.
"Thus I remember, ere these scenes I saw,But hope had drawn them, such as hope will draw,A shrewd old man, on Isis' margin bred,Smiled at my warmth, and shook his wig, and said:'Youth will be sanguine, but before you go,Learn these plain rules, and treasure, when you know.Wisdom is innate in the gown and band;Their wearers are the wisest of the land.
Science, except in Oxford, is a dream;In all things heads of houses are supreme {9}Proctors are perfect whosoe'er they be;Logic is reason in epitome:Examiners, like kings, can do no wrong;All modern learning is not worth a song:Passive obedience is the rule of right;To argue or oppose is treason quite:{10}Mere common sense would make the system fall:Things are worth nothing; words are all in all."
On his return, the ancient glanced at the work I had been reading, and observing the passage I have just quoted, continued his remarks upon the discipline of the schools.—"In the new formed system of which we boast," said the master, "the philosophy which has enlightened the world is omitted or passed over in a superficial way, and the student is exercised in narrow and contracted rounds of education, in which his whole labour is consumed, and his whole time employed, with little improvement or useful knowledge. He has neither time nor inclination to attend the public lectures in the several departments of philosophy; nor is he qualified for that attendance. All that he does, or is required to do, is to prepare himself to pass through these contracted rounds; to write a theme, or point an epigram; but when he enters upon life, action, or profession, both the little go, and the great go, he will find to be a by go; for he will find that he has gone by the best part of useful and substantial learning;
9 Know all men by these presents, that children in the uni-versities eat pap and go in leading strings till they arefourscore. —Terro Filius.10 In a work quaintly entitled "Phantasm of an University,"there occurs this sweeping paragraph, written in the truespirit of radical reform: "Great advantages might beobtained by gradually transforming Christ Church into acollege of civil polity and languages; Magdalen, Queen's,University, into colleges of moral philosophy; New andTrinity into colleges of fine arts; and the five halls intocolleges of agriculture and manufactures."
or that it has gone by him: to recover which he must repair from this famous seat of learning to the institutions of the metropolis, or in the provincial towns. I have just given you these hints, that you may escape the errors of our system, and be enabled to avoid the pomp of learning which is without the power, and acquire the power of knowledge without the pomp." Here ended the lecture, and my venerable conductor and myself made the best of our way to pay our respects to the principal of my future residence.
Arrived here—the principal, a man of great dignity, received us with all due form, and appeared exceedingly pleased with the visit of my conductor; my introduction was much improved by a letter from the head master of Eton, who, I have no doubt, said more in my favour than I deserved. The appointment of a tutor was the next step, and for this purpose I was introduced to Mr. Jay, a smart-looking little man, very polite and very portly, with whom I retired to display my proficiency in classical knowledge, by a repetition of nearly the same passages in Homer and Virgil I had construed previously with the learned doctor; the next arrangement was the sending for a tailor, who quickly produced my academical robes and cap, in the which, I must confess, I at first felt rather awkward. I was now hurried to the vice-chancellor's house adjoining Pembroke college, where I had the honour of a presentation to that dignitary; a mild-looking man of small stature, with the most affable and graceful manners, dignified, and yet free from the slightest tinge ofhauteur. His reception of my tutor was friendly and unembarrassing; his inquiries relative to myself directed solely to my proficiency in the classics, of which I had again to give some specimens; I was then directed to subscribe my name in a large folio album, which proved to contain the thirty-nine articles, not onesentence of which I had ever read; but it was too late for hesitation, and I remembered Tom Echo had informed me I should have to attest to a great deal of nonsense, which no one ever took the pains to understand. The remainder of this formal initiation was soon despatched: I separately abjured the damnable doctrines of the pope, swore allegiance to the king, and vowed to preserve the statutes and privileges of the society I was then admitted into; paid my appointed fees, made my bow to the vice-chancellor, and now concluded that the ceremony of thetogatiwas all over: in this, however, I was mistaken; my tutor requesting some conference with me at his rooms, thither we proceeded, and arranged the plan of my future studies; then followed a few general hints relative to conduct, the most important of which was my obeisance to the dignitaries, by capping{11} whenever I met them; the importance of a strict attendance to the lectures of logic, mathematics, and divinity, to the certain number of twenty in each term; a regular list of the tradesmen whom I was requested to patronize; and, lastly, the entry of my name upon the college books and payment of the necessarycaution money.{12}Enteringkeeps one term; but as rooms were vacant, I was fortunate in obtaining an immediate appointment. As the day was now far advanced, I deemed it better to return to my inn and dress for the dinner party at Christ Church.
11 Capping—by the students and under graduates is touchingthe cap to the vice-chancollor, proctors, fellows, &c. whenpassing. At Christ Church tradesmen and servants must walkbareheaded through the quadrangle when the dean, canons,censors, or tutors are present. At Pembroke this order isrigidly enforced, even in wet weather. At Brazennose neitherservants nor tradesmen connected with the college areallowed to enter it otherwise. It is not long since acertain bookseller was discommoned for wearing his hat in B-n-e quadrangle, and literally ruined in consequence.12 Caution money—a sum of money deposited in the hands ofthe treasurer or bursar by every member on his name beingentered upon the college books, as a security for thepayment of all bills and expenses contracted by him withinthe walls of the college. This money is returned when theparty takes his degree or name off the books; and no man cando either of these without receipts in full from the butler,manciple, and cook of their respective colleges.
Page128
Page129
Architectural Reminiscences—Descriptive Remarks—Similitudebetween the Characters of Cardinal Wolsey and Napoleon.
It was past five o'clock when I arrived before the majestic towers of Christ Church.—The retiring sun brightening the horizon with streaks of gold at parting, shed a rich glow over the scene that could not fail to rivet my attention to the spot. Not all the fatigues of the day, nor the peculiarities of my new situation, had, in the least, abated my admiration of architectural beauties. The noble octagonal tower in the enriched Gothic style, rising like a colossalmonument of art among the varied groups of spires, domes, and turrets, which from a distance impress the traveller with favourable ideas of the magnificence of Oxford, first attracted my notice, and recalled to my memory two names that to me appear to be nearly associated (by comparison) with each other, Wolsey and Napoleon; both gifted by nature with almost all the brightest qualifications of great minds; both arriving at the highest point of human grandeur from the most humble situations; equally the patrons of learning, science, and the arts; and both equally unfortunate, the victims of ambition: both persecuted exiles; yet, further I may add, that both have left behind them a fame which brightens with increasing years, and must continue to do as every passing day removes the mist of prejudice from the eyes of man. Such were the thoughts that rushed upon my mind as I stood gazing on the splendid fabric before me, from the western side of St. Aidates, unheedful of the merry laughter-loving group of students and under-graduates, who, lounging under the vaulted gateway, were amusing themselves at my expense in quizzing a freshman in the act of lionising. The tower contains the celebratedMagnus Thomas, recast from the great bell of Osney abbey, by whose deep note at the hour of nine in the evening the students are summoned to their respective colleges. The upper part of the tower displays in the bracketed canopies and carved enrichments the skilful hand of Sir Christopher Wren, whose fame was much enhanced by the erection of the gorgeous turrets which project on each side of the gateway.{1} Not caring to endure a closer attack of thetogati, who had now approached me, I crossed and entered the great quadrangle, or, according to Oxford phraseology,Tom Quad. The irregular nature of the buildings here by no means assimilate with the elegance of the exterior entrance.
1 It was here, in Lord Orford's opinion, that he "caught thegraces of the true Gothic taste."
ENLARGE TO FULL SIZE
Page131
The eastern, northern, and part of the southern sides of the quadrangle are, I have been since informed, inhabited by the dean and canons; the western by students. The broad terrace in front of the buildings, the extent of the arena, and the circular basin of water in the centre, render this an agreeable promenade.—I had almost forgotten the deity of the place (I hope not symbolical), a leaden Mercury{2}; the gift of Dr. John Radcliffe, which rises from the centre of the basin, on the spot where once stood the sacred cross of St. Frideswide, and the pulpit of the reformer, Wickliffe.
2 Since pulled down and destroyed.
Bernard Blackmantles Visit to Tom Echo—-Oxford Phraseology-Smuggled Dinners—A College Party described—Topography of aMan's Boom—Portrait of a Bachelor of Arts—Hints toFreshmen—Customs of the University.
"When first the freshman, bashful, blooming, young, Blessings which here attend not handmaids long, Assumes that cap, which franchises the man, And feels beneath the gown dilate his span; When he has stood with modest glance, shy fear, And stiff-starch'd band before our prime vizier, And sworn to articles he scarcely knew, And forsworn doctrines to his creed all new: Through fancy's painted glass he fondly sees Monastic turrets, patriarchal trees, The cloist'ral arches' awe-inspiring shade, The High-street sonnetized by Wordsworth's jade, His raptured view a paradise regards, Nurseling of hope! he builds on paper cards."
On the western side of Tom Quad, up one flight of stairs, by the porter's aid I discovered the battered oaken door which led to thelariumof my friend Echo: that this venerable bulwark had sustained many a brave attack from besiegers was visible in the numerous bruises and imprints of hammers, crowbars, and other weapons, which had covered its surface with many an indented scar. The utmost caution was apparent in the wary scout,{1}
1 A Scout, at Christ Church, performs the same duties forten or twelve students as a butler and valet in agentleman's family. There are no women bedmakers at anycollege except Christ Church, that duty being performed bythe scout.
who admitted me; a necessary precaution, as I afterwards found, to prevent the prying eye of some inquisitive domine, whose nose has a sort of instinctive attraction in the discovery of smuggled dinners.{2}
Within I found assembled half a dozen good-humoured faces, all young, and all evidently partaking of the high flow of spirits and animated vivacity of the generous hearted Tom Echo. A college introduction is one of little ceremony, the surname alone being used,—a practice, which, to escape quizzing, must also be followed on your card. "Here, old fellows," said Tom, taking me by the hand, and leading me forwards to his companions, "allow me to introduce an ex{3}-college man,—Blackmantle of Brazennose, a freshman{4} and an Etonian: so, lay to him, boys; he's just broke loose from the Land of Sheepishness,{5} passed Pupils Straits{6} and the Isle of Matriculation{7} to follow Dads Will,{8} in the Port of Stuffs{9}; from which, if he can steer clear of the Fields of Temptation{10}
2 Smuggled dinners are private parties in a student's room,when the dinner is brought into college from a tavern:various are the ingenious stratagems of the togati to eludethe vigilance of the authorities: trunks, packing-boxes,violoncello-cases, and hampers are not unfrequently directedas if from a waggon or coach-office, and brought intocollege on the shoulders of some porter. Tin cans of soupare drawn up by means of a string from the back windows inthe adjoining street. It is not long since Mr. C- of ChristChurch was expelled for having a dinner smuggled intocollege precisely in the manner adopted by Tom Echo.3 A University man who is visiting in a college of which heisnot a member.4 The usual phrase for initiating a freshman on his firstappearance in a party or frisk.5 Land of Sheepishness—School-boy's bondage.6 Pupil's Straits—Interval between restraint and liberty.7 Isle of Matriculation—First entrance into the University.8 Dad's Will—Parental authority.9 Port for Stay's—Assumption of commoner's gown.10 Fields of Temptation—The attractions held out to him.
he hopes to make theLand of Promise,{11} anchor his bark in theIsthmus of Grace,{12} and lay up snugly for life on theLand of Incumbents."{13} "For heaven's sake, Tom," said I," speak in some intelligible language; it's hardly fair to fire off your battery of Oxonian wit upon a poor freshman at first sight." At this moment a rap at theoakannounced an addition to our party, and in bounded that light-hearted child of whim, Horace Eglantine:—"What, Blackmantle here? Why then, Tom, we can form as complete a trio as ever gotbosky{14} withbishop{15} inthe province of Bacchus,{16}! Why, what a plague, my old fellow, has given you that rueful-looking countenance? I am sure you was not plucked uponMaro CommonorHomer Downs{17} in passing examination with the big wig this morning; or has Tom been frisking{18} you already with some of his jokes about thestraits of independency{19}; thewaste of ready{20}; the dynasty of Venus,{21} or the quicksands of rustication{22}.
11 Land of Promise—The fair expectations of a steady novicein Oxford.12 Isthmus of Grace—Obtainment of the grace of one'scollege.13 Land of Incumbents—Good livings.14 Bosky is the term used in Oxford to express the style ofbeing "half seas over."15 Bishop—A good orthodox mead composed of port wine androasted oranges or lemons.16 Province of Bacchus—Inebriety.17 Maro Common and Homer Downs allude to the Æneid ofVirgil and the Iliad of Homer—two books chiefly studied forthe little-go or responsions.18 Frisking—Hoaxing.19 Straits of Independency—Frontiers of extravagance.20 Waste of Ready, including in it Hoyle's Dominions—Course of gambling, including Loo tables.21 Dynasty of Venus—Indiscriminate love and misguidedaffections.22 Quicksands of Rustication—On which our hero may at anytime run foul when inclined to visit a new county.
Cheer up, old fellow! you are not half way through the ceremony of initiation yet. We must brighten up that solemn phiz of yours, and give you a lesson or two on college principles? If I had been thrown upon some newly-discovered country, among a race of wild Indians, I could not have been more perplexed and confounded than I now felt in endeavouring to rally, and appear to comprehend this peculiar phraseology.
A conversation now ensuing between a gentleman commoner, whom the party designated Pontius Pilate{23} and Tom Echo, relative to the comparative merits of their hunters, afforded me an opportunity of surveying thelariumof my friend; the entrance to which was through a short passage, that served the varied purposes of an ante-room or vestibule, and a scout's pantry and boot-closet. On the right was the sleeping-room, and at the foot of a neat French bed I could perceive the wine bin, surrounded by a regiment ofdead men{24} who had, no doubt, departed this life like heroes in some battle of Bacchanalian sculls. The principal chamber, the verypenetraleof the Muses, was about six yards square, and low, with a rich carved oaken wainscoting, reaching to the ceiling; the monastic gloom being materially increased by two narrow loopholes, intended for windows, but scarcely yielding sufficient light to enable the student to read hisScapula or Lexicon{25} with the advantage of a meridian sun: the fire-place was immensely wide, emblematical, no doubt, of the capacious stomachs of the good fathers and fellows, the ancient inhabitants of thissanctum; but the most singularly-striking characteristic was the modern decorations, introduced by the present occupant.
23 A quaint cognomen applied to him from the rapidity withwhich he boasted of repeating the Nicene Creed,—i.e.offering a bet that no would give any man as far as "PontiusPilate," and beat him before he got to the "resurrection ofthe dead."24 Dead Men—Empty bottles.25 Scapula, Hederic, and Lexicon, the principalDictionaries in use for studying Greek.
Over the fire-place hung a caricature portrait of a well-known Bachelor of Arts, drinking at thePierian spring, versusgulping down the contents of a Pembrokeoverman,{26} sketched by the facetious pencil of the humorist, Rowlandson.