APleasant Conceited Comedie,ofSyr Iohn Falstaffe,andthe merry Wiues ofVVindsor.Enter IusticeShallow, SyrHugh, MaisterPage, andSlender.Shal.Nere talke to me, Ile make a star-chamber matter of it.The Councell shall know it.Page.Nay good maisterShallowbe perswaded by mee.Slen.Nay surely my vncle shall not put it vp so.5Sir Hu.Wil you not heare reasons M.Slenders?You should heare reasons.Shal.Tho he be a knight, he shall not thinke to carrie it so away.M.PageI will not be wronged. For youSyr, I loue you, and for my cousen,10He comes to looke vpon your daughter.Pa.And heres my hand, and if my daughterLike him so well as I, wee’l quickly haue it a match:In the meane time let me entreate you to soiourneHere a while. And on my life Ile vndertake15To make you friends.Sir Hu.I pray you M.Shalloweslet it be so.The matter is pud to arbitarments.The first man is M.Page, videlicet M.Page.The second is my selfe, videlicet my selfe.20The third and last man, is mine host of the gartyr.Enter SyrIohn Falstaffe,Pistoll,Bardolfe, andNim.Heere is sirIohnhimselfe now, looke you.Fal.Now M.Shallow, youle complaine of me to the Councell, I heare?Shal.SirIohn, sirIohn, you haue hurt my keeper,I. 25Kild my dogs, stolne my deere.Fal.But not kissed your keepers daughter.Shal.Well this shall be answered.Fal.He answere itstrait. I haue done all this.This is now answred.30Shal.Well, the Councell shall know it.Fal.Twere better for you twere knowne in counsell,Youle be laught at.Sir Hugh.Good vrdes sirIohn, good vrdes.Fal.Good vrdes, good Cabidge.35SlenderI brake your head,What matter haue you against mee?Slen.I haue matter in my head against you and your cogging companions,PistollandNym.They carried mee to the Tauerne, and made mee drunke, and afterward picked my pocket.40Fal.What say you to thisPistoll, did you picke MaisterSlenderspursePistoll?Slen.I by this handkercher did he. Two faire shouell boord shillings, besides seuen groats in mill sixpences.Fal.What say you to thisPistoll?45Pist.SirIohn, and Maister mine, I combat craueOf this same laten bilbo. I do retort the lieEuen in thy gorge, thy gorge, thy gorge.Slen.By this light it was he then.Nym.Syr my honor is not for many words,I. 50But if you run bace humors of me,I will say mary trap. And there’s the humor of it.Fal.You heare these matters denide gentlemen,You heare it.Enter MistresseFoord, MistressePage, and her daughterAnne.Pa.No more now,55I thinke it be almost dinner time,For my wife is come to meete vs.Fal.MistresseFoord, I think your name is,If I mistake not.SyrIohn kisses her.Mis. Ford.Your mistake sir is nothing but in the Mistresse.60But my husbands name isFoordsir.Fal.I shall desire your more acquaintance.The like of you good misterisPage.Mis. Pa.With all my hart sirIohn.Come husband will you goe?65Dinner staies for vs.Pa.With all my hart, come along Gentlemen.Exit all, butSlenderand MistresseAnne.Anne.Now forsooth why do you stay me?What would you with me?Slen.Nay for my owne part, I would litle or nothing with you.70I loue you well, and my vncle can tell you how my liuing stands. And if you can loue me why so. If not, why then happie man be his dole.An.You say well M.Slender.But first you must giue me leaue toI. 75Be acquainted with your humor,And afterward to loue you if I can.Slen.Why by God, there’s neuer a man in christendome can desire more. What haue you beares in your Towne mistresseAnne, your dogs barke so?80An.I cannot tell M.Slender, I think there be.Slen.Ha how say you? I warrant your afeard of a Beare let loose, are you not?An.Yes trust me.Slen.Now that’s meate and drinke to me,85He runyonto a beare, and take her by the mussell,You neuer saw the like.But indeed I cannot blame you,For they are maruellous rough things.Anne.Will yo go into dinner M.Slendor?90The meate staies for you.Slen.No faith not I. I thanke you,I cannot abide the smell of hot meateNere since I broke my shin. Ile tel you how it cameBy my troth. A Fencer and I plaid three venies95For a dish of stewd prunes, and I with my wardDefending my head, he hot my shin. Yes faith.Enter MaisterPage.Pa.Come, come MaisterSlender, dinner staies for you.Slen.I can eate no meate, I thanke you.Pa.You shall not choose I say.I. 100Slen.Ile follow you sir, pray leade the way.Nay be God misterisAnne, you shall goe first,I haue more manners then so, I hope.An.Well sir, I will not be troublesome.Exit omnes.Sc. ii.Enter SirHughandSimple, from dinner.Sir Hu.Hark youSimple, pray you beare this letter to doctorCayushouse, the French Doctor. He is twell vp along the street, and enquire of his house for one mistrisQuickly, his woman, or his trynurse, and deliuer this Letter to her, it tis about MaisterSlender.5Looke you, will you do it now?Sim.I warrant you sir.Sir Hu.Pray you do, I must not be absent at the grace.I will goe make an end of my dinner,There is pepions and cheese behinde.Exit omnes.Sc. iii.Enter SirIohn FalstaffesHost of the Garter,Nym,Bardolfe,Pistoll, and the Boy.Fal.Mine Host of the Garter.Host.What ses my bully Rooke?Speake schollerly and wisely.Fal.Mine Host, I must turne away some of my followers.5Host.Discard bully,Herculescassire.Let them wag, trot, trot.Fal.I sit at ten pound a weeke.Host.Thou art an EmperorCæsar,PhesserandKesarbully.Ile entertaineBardolfe. He shall tap, he shall draw.10Said I well, bullyHector?Fal.Do good mine Host.Host.I haue spoke. Let him follow.BardolfeLet me see thee froth, and lyme. I am atA word. Follow, follow.Exit Host.15Fal.DoBardolfe, a Tapster is a good trade,An old cloake will make a new Ierkin,A withered seruingman, a fresh Tapster:Follow himBardolfe.Bar.I will sir, Ile warrant you Ile make a good shift to liue.Exit Bardolfe.20Pis.O bace gongarian wight, wilt thou the spicket willd?Nym.His minde is not heroick. And theres the humor of it.Fal.Well my Laddes, I am almost out at the heeles.Pis.Why then let cybes insue.Nym.I thanke thee for that humor.III. 25Fal.Well I am glad I am so rid of this tinder Boy.His stealth was too open, his filching was likeAn vnskilfull singer, he kept not time.Nym.The good humour is to steale at a minutes rest.Pis.Tis so indeedNym, thou hast hit it right.30Fal.Wel, afore God, I must cheat, I must conycatch.Which of you knowesFoordof this Towne?Pis.I ken the wight, he is of substance good.Fal.Well my honest Lads, Ile tell you whatI am about.Pis.Two yards and more.Fal.No gibes nowPistoll:indeed I am two yardsIn the wast, but now I am about no wast:Briefly, I am about thrift you rogues you,I do intend to make loue to Foords wife,40I espie entertainment in her. She carues, sheDiscourses. She giues the lyre of inuitation,And euery part to be constured rightly is, I amSyrIohn Falstaffes.Pis.Hee hath studied her well, out of honestie45Into English.Fal.Now the report goes, she hath all the ruleOf her husbands purse. She hath legians of angels.Pis.As many diuels attend her.And to her boy say I.III. 50Fal.Heree’s a Letter to her. Heeres another to misterisPage. Who euen now gaue me good eies too, examined my exteriors with such a greedy intention, with the beames of her beautie, that it seemed as she would a scorged me vp like a burning glasse. Here is another Letter to her, shee beares the purse too. They shall be Excheckers55to me, and Ile be cheaters to them both. They shall be my East and West Indies, and Ile trade to them both. Heere beare thou this Letter to mistresseFoord. And thou this to mistressePage. Weelethriue Lads, we will thriue.Pist.Shall I sir Panderowes ofTroybecome?60And by my swordweresteele.Then Lucifer take all.Nym.Here, take your humor Letter againe,For my part, I will keepe the hauiorOf reputation. And theres the humor of it.65Fal.Here sirrha beare me these Letters titely,Saile like my pinnice to the golden shores:Hence slaues, avant. Vanish like hailstones, goe.Falstaffewill learne the humor of this age,French thrift you rogue, my selfe and scirted Page.Exit Falstaffe, and the Boy.70Pis.And art thou gone? Teaster Ile haue in pouchWhen thou shalt want, bace Phrygian Turke,Nym.I haue operations in my head, which are humors of reuenge.Pis.Wilt thou reuenge?III. 75Nym.ByWelkinand her Fairies.Pis.By wit, or sword?Nym.With both the humors I will disclose this loue toPage. He poses him with Iallowes,And theres the humor of it.80Pis.And I to Foord will likewise tellHowFalstaffevarlot vilde,Would haue her loue, his doue would proue,And eke his bed defile.Nym.Let vs about it then.85Pis.He second thee: sir CorporallNymtroope on.Exit omnes.Sc. iv.Enter MistresseQuickly, andSimple.Quic.M.Slenderis your masters name say you?Sim.I indeed that is his name.Quic.How say you? I take it hee is somewhat a weakly man:And he has as it were a whay coloured beard.5Sim.Indeed my maisters beard is kane colored.Quic.Kane colour, you say well.And is this Letter from sirYou, about misterisAn,Is it not?Sim.I indeed is it.10Quic.So: and your Maister would haue me as it twere to speak to misterisAnneconcerning him: I promise you my M. hath a great affectoned mind to mistresseAnnehimselfe. And if he should know that I should as they say, giue my verdit for any one but himselfe, I should heare of it throughly: For I tell you friend, he puts all his priuities15in me.Sim.I by my faith you are a good staie to him.Quic.Am I? I and you knew all yowd say so:Washing, brewing, baking, al goes through my hands,Or else it would be but a woe house.20Sim.I beshrow me, one woman to do all this, Is very painfull.Quic.Are you auised of that? I, I warrant you,Take all, and paie all, all goe through my hands,And he is such a honest man,andhe should chanceIV. 25To come home and finde a man here, we shouldHaue nowhowith him. He is a parlowes man.Sim.Is he indeed?Quic.Is he, quoth you? God keepe him abroad:Lord blesse me, who knocks there?30For Gods sake step into the Counting-house,While I go see whose atdoore.He steps into the Counting-house.WhatIohn Rugby,Iohn,Are you come home sir alreadie?And she opens the doore.Doct.IbegarIbe forget mine oyntment,35Where beIohn Rugby?EnterIohn.Rug.Here sir, do you call?Doct.Iyou beIohn Rugbie, and you beIack RugbyGoe run vp met your heeles, and bring awayDe oyntment in the vindoe present:40Make hasteIohn Rugbie. OIam almost forgetMy simples in a boxe in de Counting-house:OIeshu vat be here, a deuella, a deuella?My RapierIohn Rugby, Vat be you, vat makeYou in my Counting-house?45Itinck you be a teefe.Quic.Ieshu blesse me, we are all vndone.Sim.O Lord sir no:Iam no theefe,Iam a Seruingman:My name isIohn Simple,Ibrought a Letter sirIV. 50From my M.Slender, about misterisAnne PageSir:Indeed that is my comming.Doct.Ibegar is dat all?Iohn Rugbygiue a ma penAnInck: tarche vn pettit tarche a little.The Doctor writes.Sim.O God what a furious man is this?55Quic.Nay it is well he is no worse:Iam glad he is so quiet.Doc.Here giue that same to sirHu, it ber ve chalengeBegar tell himIwill cut his nase, will you?Sim.Isir,Ile tell him so.60Doc.Dat be vell, my rapierIohn Rugby, follow may.Exit Doctor.Quic.Well my friend,Icannot tarry, tell yourMaisterIle doo what I can for him,And so farewell.Sim.Marry will I, I am glad I am got hence.Exit omnes.Sc. v.Enter MistressePage, reading of a Letter.Mis. Pa.Mistresse PageIloue you. Ask me no reason,Because theyr impossible to alledge. Your faire,AndIam fat. You loue sack, so doI:AsIam sureIhaue no mind but to loue,5SoIknow you haue no hart but tograntA souldier doth not vse many words where a knowesA letter may serue for a sentence.Iloue you,And soIleaue you.Yours Syr Iohn Falstaffe.10Now Ieshu blesse me, am I methomorphised?I think I knowe not my selfe. Why what a Gods name doth this man see in me, that thus he shootes at my honestie? Well but that I knowe my owne heart, I should scarcely perswade my selfe I were hand. Why what an vnreasonable woolsack is this. He was neuer15twicein my companie, and if then I thought I gaue such assurance with my eies, Ide pull them out, they should neuer see more holie daies. Well, I shall trust fat men the worse while I liue for his sake. O God, that I knew how to be reuenged of him. But in good time, heeres mistresseFoord.Enter MistresseFoord.20Mis. For.How now mistrisPage, are you are reading Loue letters? How do you woman?Mis. Pa.O woman I am I know not what:In loue vp to the hard eares. I was neuer in such a case in my life.Mis. Ford.In loue, now in the name of God with whom?V. 25Mis. Pa.With one that sweares he loues me,And I must not choose but do the like againe:I prethie looke on that Letter.Mis. For.He match your letter iust with the like,Line for line, word for word. Onely the name30Of misterisPage, and misterisFoorddisagrees:Do me thekindnesto looke vpon this.Mis. Pa.Why this is right my letter.O most notorious villaine!Why what a bladder of iniquity is this?35Lets be reuenged what so ere we do.Mis. For.Reuenged, if we liue weel be reuenged.O Lord if my husband should see this Letter,Ifaith this would euen giue edge to his Iealousie.Enter Ford, Page, Pistoll, and Nym.Mis. Pa.See where our husbands are,40Mine’s as far from Iealousie,As I am from wronging him.Pis.Fordthe words I speake are forst:Beware, take heed, forFalstaffeloues thy wife:WhenPistolllies do this.45Ford.Why sir my wife is not young.Pis.He wooes both yong and old, both rich and poore,None comes amis. I say he loues thy wife:Faire warning did I giue, take heed,For sommer comes, and cuckoo birds appeare;V. 50Pagebelieue him what he ses. Away sir CorporalNym.Exit Pistoll:Nym.Syr the humor of it is, he loues your wife,I should ha borne the humor Letter to her:I speake and I auouch tis true: My name isNym.Farwell, I loue not the humor of bread and cheese:55And theres the humor of it.Exit Nym.Pa.The humor of it, quoth you:Heres a fellow frites humor out of his wits.Mis. Pa.How now sweet hart, how dost thou?Enter Mistresse Quickly.Pa.How now man? how do you mistrisFord?60Mis. For.Well I thanke you good M.Page.How now husband, how chaunce thou art somelancholy?Ford.Melancholy, I am not melancholy.Goe get you in, goe.Mis. For.God saue me, see who yonder is:65Weele set her a worke in this businesse.Mis Pa.O sheele serue excellent.Now you come to see my daughterAnI am sure.Quic.I forsooth that is my comming.Mis. Pa.Come go in with me. Come Mis.Ford.70Mis. For.I follow you MistressePage.Exit MistresseFord, Mis.Page, andQuickly.For.M.Pagedid you heare what these fellows said?Pa.Yes M.Ford, what of that sir?For.Do you thinke it is true that they told vs?Pa.No by my troth do I not,V. 75I rather take them to be paltry lying knaues,Such as rather speakes of enuie,Then of any certaine they haueOf any thing. And for the knight, perhapsHe hath spoke merrily, as the fashion of fat men80Are: But should he loue my wife,Ifaith Ide turne her loose to him:And what he got more of her,Then ill lookes, and shrowd words,Why let me beare the penaltie of it.85For.Nay I do not mistrust my wife,Yet Ide be loth to turne them together,A man may be too confident.Enter Host and Shallow.Pa.Here comes my ramping host of the garter,Ther’s either licker in his hed, or mony in his purse,90That he lookes so merily. Now mine Host?Host.God blesse you my bully rookes, God blesse you.Caualera Iustice I say.Shal.At hand mine host, at hand. M.Ford. god dento youGod den and twentie good M.Page.95I tell you sir we haue sport in hand.Host.Tell him cauelira Iustice: tell him bully rooke.Ford.Mine Host a the garter:Host.What ses my bully rooke?Ford.A word with you sir.Ford and the Host talkes.V. 100Shal.Harke you sir, Ile tell you what the sport shall beDoctor Cayus and sirHuare to fight,My merrie Host hath had the measuringOf their weapons, and hathAppointed them contrary places. Harke in your eare:105Host:Hast thou no shute against my knight, My guest, my cauellira.For.None I protest: But tell him my nameIsRrooke, onlie for a Iest.Host:Thy hand bully: thou shalt110Haue egres and regres, and thy Name shall beBrooke:Sed I well bully Hector?Shal.I tell you what M.Page, I beleeueThe Doctor is no Iester, heele laie it on:For tho we be Iustices and Doctors,115And Church men, yet we areThe sonnes of women M.Page:Pa:True maisterShallow:Shal:It will be found so maisterPage:Pa.MaisterShallow, you your selfe120Haue bene a great fighter,Though now a man of peace:Shal:M. Page, I haue seene the day that yongTall fellowes with their stroke and their passado,I haue made them trudge MaisterPage,V. 125A tis the hart, the hart doth all: IHaue seene the day, with my two hand swordI would a made you foure tall FencersScipped like Rattes.Host.Here boyes, shall we wag, shall we wag?Shal.Ha with you mine host.Exit Host and Shallow.Pa.Come M.Ford, shall we to dinner?I know these fellowes sticks in your minde.For.No in good sadnesse, not in mine:Yet for all this Ile try it further,135I will not leaue it so:Come M. Page, shall we to dinner?Page.With all my hart sir,Ile follow you.Exit omnes.Sc. vi.Enter Syr Iohn, and Pistoll.Fal.Ile not lend thee a peny.Pis.Iwill retort the sum in equipage.Fal.Not a pennie:Ihaue beene content you shuld lay my countenance to pawne:Ihaue grated vpon my good friends for 3 repriues,5for you and your Coach-followNym, else you might a looked thorow a grate like a geminy of babones. I am damned in hell for swearing to Gentlemen your good souldiers and tall fellowes: and whenmistrisseBrigetlost the handle of her Fan, I tooked on myho-thou hadst it not.10Pis.Didst thou not share? hadst thou not fifteene pence?Fal.Reason you rogue, reason.Doest thou thinkeIle indanger my soule gratis?In briefe, hang no more about mee, I am no gybit for you.Ashort knife and a throng to your manner of pickt hatch, goe. Youle not15beare a Letter for me you rogue you: you stand vpon your honor. Why thou vnconfinable basenesse thou, tis as much as I can do to keepe the termes of my honor precise. I, I my selfe sometimes, leauing the feare of God on the left hand, am faine to shuffel, to filch and to lurch. And yet you stand vpon your honor, you rogue. You,20you.Pis.I do recant: what woulst thou more of man?Fal.Well, gotoo, away, no more.Enter Mistresse Quickly.Quic.Good you god den sir.Fal.Good den faire wife.VI. 25Quic.Not so ant like your worship.Fal.Faire mayd then.Quic.That I am Ile be sworne, as my mother wasThe first houre I was borne.Sir I would speake with you in priuate.30Fal.Say on I prethy, heeres none but my owne houshold.Quic.Are they so? Now God blesse them, and make them his seruants.Syr I come from MistresseFoord.Fal.So from MistresseFoord. Goe on.35Quic.I sir, she hath sent me to you to let youVnderstand she hath receiued your Letter,Andlet metell you, she is onestands vponher credit.Fal.Well, come MisterisFord, MisterisFord.Quic.I sir, and as they say, she is not the first40Hath bene led in a fooles paradice.Fal.Nay prethy be briefe my good sheMercury.Quic.Mary sir, sheed haue you meet her betweene eight and nine.Fal.So betweene eight and nine:45Qu.I forsooth, for then her husband goes a birding,Fal.Well commend me to thy mistris, tel herI will not faile her: Boy giue her my purse.Quic.Nay sir I haue another arant to do to youFrom misterisPage:VI. 50Fal.From misterisPage? I prethy what of her?Qu.By my trothIthink you work byInchantments,Elsthey couldneuer loue you as they doo:Fal.NotI,Iassure thee; setting the attraction of myGood parts aside,Ivse no other inchantments:55Quic.Well sir, she loues you extreemly:And let me tell you, shees one that feares God,And her husband giues her leaue to do all:For he is not halfe soiealousieas M.Fordis.Fal.But harke thee, hath misterisPageand mistrisFord,60Acquainted each other how dearly they loue me?Quic.O God no sir: there were a iest indeed.Fal.Well farwel, commend me to misterisFord,I will not faile her say.Quic.God be with your worship.Exit Mistresse Quickly.Enter Bardolfe.65Bar.Sir, heer’s a Gentleman,One M.Brooke, would speak with you,He hath sent you a cup of sacke.Fal.M.Brooke, hees welcome: bid him come vp,SuchBrookesare alwaies welcome to me:70AIack, will thy old bodie yet hold out?Wilt thou after the expence of so much monyBe now a gainer? GoodbodieIthanke thee,AndIle make more of thee thenIha done:Ha, ha, misterisFord, and misterisPage, haueVI. 75Icaught youa thehip? go too.EnterFoorddisguised likeBrooke.For.God saue you sir.Fal.And you too, would you speak with me?
Shal.Nere talke to me, Ile make a star-chamber matter of it.The Councell shall know it.
Shal.Nere talke to me, Ile make a star-chamber matter of it.
The Councell shall know it.
Page.Nay good maisterShallowbe perswaded by mee.
Slen.Nay surely my vncle shall not put it vp so.
5Sir Hu.Wil you not heare reasons M.Slenders?You should heare reasons.
5Sir Hu.Wil you not heare reasons M.Slenders?
You should heare reasons.
Shal.Tho he be a knight, he shall not thinke to carrie it so away.M.PageI will not be wronged. For youSyr, I loue you, and for my cousen,10He comes to looke vpon your daughter.
Shal.Tho he be a knight, he shall not thinke to carrie it so away.
M.PageI will not be wronged. For you
Syr, I loue you, and for my cousen,
10He comes to looke vpon your daughter.
Pa.And heres my hand, and if my daughterLike him so well as I, wee’l quickly haue it a match:In the meane time let me entreate you to soiourneHere a while. And on my life Ile vndertake15To make you friends.
Pa.And heres my hand, and if my daughter
Like him so well as I, wee’l quickly haue it a match:
In the meane time let me entreate you to soiourne
Here a while. And on my life Ile vndertake
15To make you friends.
Sir Hu.I pray you M.Shalloweslet it be so.The matter is pud to arbitarments.The first man is M.Page, videlicet M.Page.The second is my selfe, videlicet my selfe.20The third and last man, is mine host of the gartyr.Enter SyrIohn Falstaffe,Pistoll,Bardolfe, andNim.Heere is sirIohnhimselfe now, looke you.
Sir Hu.I pray you M.Shalloweslet it be so.
The matter is pud to arbitarments.
The first man is M.Page, videlicet M.Page.
The second is my selfe, videlicet my selfe.
20The third and last man, is mine host of the gartyr.
Heere is sirIohnhimselfe now, looke you.
Fal.Now M.Shallow, youle complaine of me to the Councell, I heare?
Shal.SirIohn, sirIohn, you haue hurt my keeper,I. 25Kild my dogs, stolne my deere.
Shal.SirIohn, sirIohn, you haue hurt my keeper,
I. 25Kild my dogs, stolne my deere.
Fal.But not kissed your keepers daughter.
Shal.Well this shall be answered.
Fal.He answere itstrait. I haue done all this.This is now answred.
Fal.He answere itstrait. I haue done all this.
This is now answred.
30Shal.Well, the Councell shall know it.
Fal.Twere better for you twere knowne in counsell,Youle be laught at.
Fal.Twere better for you twere knowne in counsell,
Youle be laught at.
Sir Hugh.Good vrdes sirIohn, good vrdes.
Fal.Good vrdes, good Cabidge.35SlenderI brake your head,What matter haue you against mee?
Fal.Good vrdes, good Cabidge.
35SlenderI brake your head,
What matter haue you against mee?
Slen.I haue matter in my head against you and your cogging companions,PistollandNym.They carried mee to the Tauerne, and made mee drunke, and afterward picked my pocket.
40Fal.What say you to thisPistoll, did you picke MaisterSlenderspursePistoll?
Slen.I by this handkercher did he. Two faire shouell boord shillings, besides seuen groats in mill sixpences.
Fal.What say you to thisPistoll?
45Pist.SirIohn, and Maister mine, I combat craueOf this same laten bilbo. I do retort the lieEuen in thy gorge, thy gorge, thy gorge.
45Pist.SirIohn, and Maister mine, I combat craue
Of this same laten bilbo. I do retort the lie
Euen in thy gorge, thy gorge, thy gorge.
Slen.By this light it was he then.
Nym.Syr my honor is not for many words,I. 50But if you run bace humors of me,I will say mary trap. And there’s the humor of it.
Nym.Syr my honor is not for many words,
I. 50But if you run bace humors of me,
I will say mary trap. And there’s the humor of it.
Fal.You heare these matters denide gentlemen,You heare it.
Fal.You heare these matters denide gentlemen,
You heare it.
Pa.No more now,55I thinke it be almost dinner time,For my wife is come to meete vs.
Pa.No more now,
55I thinke it be almost dinner time,
For my wife is come to meete vs.
Fal.MistresseFoord, I think your name is,If I mistake not.
Fal.MistresseFoord, I think your name is,
If I mistake not.
SyrIohn kisses her.
Mis. Ford.Your mistake sir is nothing but in the Mistresse.60But my husbands name isFoordsir.
Mis. Ford.Your mistake sir is nothing but in the Mistresse.
60But my husbands name isFoordsir.
Fal.I shall desire your more acquaintance.The like of you good misterisPage.
Fal.I shall desire your more acquaintance.
The like of you good misterisPage.
Mis. Pa.With all my hart sirIohn.Come husband will you goe?65Dinner staies for vs.
Mis. Pa.With all my hart sirIohn.
Come husband will you goe?
65Dinner staies for vs.
Pa.With all my hart, come along Gentlemen.
Exit all, butSlenderand MistresseAnne.
Anne.Now forsooth why do you stay me?What would you with me?
Anne.Now forsooth why do you stay me?
What would you with me?
Slen.Nay for my owne part, I would litle or nothing with you.70I loue you well, and my vncle can tell you how my liuing stands. And if you can loue me why so. If not, why then happie man be his dole.
An.You say well M.Slender.But first you must giue me leaue toI. 75Be acquainted with your humor,And afterward to loue you if I can.
An.You say well M.Slender.
But first you must giue me leaue to
I. 75Be acquainted with your humor,
And afterward to loue you if I can.
Slen.Why by God, there’s neuer a man in christendome can desire more. What haue you beares in your Towne mistresseAnne, your dogs barke so?
80An.I cannot tell M.Slender, I think there be.
Slen.Ha how say you? I warrant your afeard of a Beare let loose, are you not?
An.Yes trust me.
Slen.Now that’s meate and drinke to me,85He runyonto a beare, and take her by the mussell,You neuer saw the like.But indeed I cannot blame you,For they are maruellous rough things.
Slen.Now that’s meate and drinke to me,
85He runyonto a beare, and take her by the mussell,
You neuer saw the like.
But indeed I cannot blame you,
For they are maruellous rough things.
Anne.Will yo go into dinner M.Slendor?90The meate staies for you.
Anne.Will yo go into dinner M.Slendor?
90The meate staies for you.
Slen.No faith not I. I thanke you,I cannot abide the smell of hot meateNere since I broke my shin. Ile tel you how it cameBy my troth. A Fencer and I plaid three venies95For a dish of stewd prunes, and I with my wardDefending my head, he hot my shin. Yes faith.
Slen.No faith not I. I thanke you,
I cannot abide the smell of hot meate
Nere since I broke my shin. Ile tel you how it came
By my troth. A Fencer and I plaid three venies
95For a dish of stewd prunes, and I with my ward
Defending my head, he hot my shin. Yes faith.
Pa.Come, come MaisterSlender, dinner staies for you.
Slen.I can eate no meate, I thanke you.
Pa.You shall not choose I say.
I. 100Slen.Ile follow you sir, pray leade the way.Nay be God misterisAnne, you shall goe first,I haue more manners then so, I hope.
I. 100Slen.Ile follow you sir, pray leade the way.
Nay be God misterisAnne, you shall goe first,
I haue more manners then so, I hope.
An.Well sir, I will not be troublesome.
Exit omnes.
Sir Hu.Hark youSimple, pray you beare this letter to doctorCayushouse, the French Doctor. He is twell vp along the street, and enquire of his house for one mistrisQuickly, his woman, or his trynurse, and deliuer this Letter to her, it tis about MaisterSlender.5Looke you, will you do it now?
Sim.I warrant you sir.
Sir Hu.Pray you do, I must not be absent at the grace.I will goe make an end of my dinner,There is pepions and cheese behinde.
Sir Hu.Pray you do, I must not be absent at the grace.
I will goe make an end of my dinner,
There is pepions and cheese behinde.
Exit omnes.
Fal.Mine Host of the Garter.
Host.What ses my bully Rooke?Speake schollerly and wisely.
Host.What ses my bully Rooke?
Speake schollerly and wisely.
Fal.Mine Host, I must turne away some of my followers.
5Host.Discard bully,Herculescassire.Let them wag, trot, trot.
5Host.Discard bully,Herculescassire.
Let them wag, trot, trot.
Fal.I sit at ten pound a weeke.
Host.Thou art an EmperorCæsar,PhesserandKesarbully.Ile entertaineBardolfe. He shall tap, he shall draw.10Said I well, bullyHector?
Host.Thou art an EmperorCæsar,PhesserandKesarbully.
Ile entertaineBardolfe. He shall tap, he shall draw.
10Said I well, bullyHector?
Fal.Do good mine Host.
Host.I haue spoke. Let him follow.BardolfeLet me see thee froth, and lyme. I am atA word. Follow, follow.
Host.I haue spoke. Let him follow.Bardolfe
Let me see thee froth, and lyme. I am at
A word. Follow, follow.
Exit Host.
15Fal.DoBardolfe, a Tapster is a good trade,An old cloake will make a new Ierkin,A withered seruingman, a fresh Tapster:Follow himBardolfe.
15Fal.DoBardolfe, a Tapster is a good trade,
An old cloake will make a new Ierkin,
A withered seruingman, a fresh Tapster:
Follow himBardolfe.
Bar.I will sir, Ile warrant you Ile make a good shift to liue.
Exit Bardolfe.
20Pis.O bace gongarian wight, wilt thou the spicket willd?
Nym.His minde is not heroick. And theres the humor of it.
Fal.Well my Laddes, I am almost out at the heeles.
Pis.Why then let cybes insue.
Nym.I thanke thee for that humor.
III. 25Fal.Well I am glad I am so rid of this tinder Boy.His stealth was too open, his filching was likeAn vnskilfull singer, he kept not time.
III. 25Fal.Well I am glad I am so rid of this tinder Boy.
His stealth was too open, his filching was like
An vnskilfull singer, he kept not time.
Nym.The good humour is to steale at a minutes rest.
Pis.Tis so indeedNym, thou hast hit it right.
30Fal.Wel, afore God, I must cheat, I must conycatch.Which of you knowesFoordof this Towne?
30Fal.Wel, afore God, I must cheat, I must conycatch.
Which of you knowesFoordof this Towne?
Pis.I ken the wight, he is of substance good.
Fal.Well my honest Lads, Ile tell you whatI am about.
Fal.Well my honest Lads, Ile tell you what
I am about.
Pis.Two yards and more.
Fal.No gibes nowPistoll:indeed I am two yardsIn the wast, but now I am about no wast:Briefly, I am about thrift you rogues you,I do intend to make loue to Foords wife,40I espie entertainment in her. She carues, sheDiscourses. She giues the lyre of inuitation,And euery part to be constured rightly is, I amSyrIohn Falstaffes.
Fal.No gibes nowPistoll:indeed I am two yards
In the wast, but now I am about no wast:
Briefly, I am about thrift you rogues you,
I do intend to make loue to Foords wife,
40I espie entertainment in her. She carues, she
Discourses. She giues the lyre of inuitation,
And euery part to be constured rightly is, I am
SyrIohn Falstaffes.
Pis.Hee hath studied her well, out of honestie45Into English.
Pis.Hee hath studied her well, out of honestie
45Into English.
Fal.Now the report goes, she hath all the ruleOf her husbands purse. She hath legians of angels.
Fal.Now the report goes, she hath all the rule
Of her husbands purse. She hath legians of angels.
Pis.As many diuels attend her.And to her boy say I.
Pis.As many diuels attend her.
And to her boy say I.
III. 50Fal.Heree’s a Letter to her. Heeres another to misterisPage. Who euen now gaue me good eies too, examined my exteriors with such a greedy intention, with the beames of her beautie, that it seemed as she would a scorged me vp like a burning glasse. Here is another Letter to her, shee beares the purse too. They shall be Excheckers55to me, and Ile be cheaters to them both. They shall be my East and West Indies, and Ile trade to them both. Heere beare thou this Letter to mistresseFoord. And thou this to mistressePage. Weelethriue Lads, we will thriue.
Pist.Shall I sir Panderowes ofTroybecome?60And by my swordweresteele.Then Lucifer take all.
Pist.Shall I sir Panderowes ofTroybecome?
60And by my swordweresteele.
Then Lucifer take all.
Nym.Here, take your humor Letter againe,For my part, I will keepe the hauiorOf reputation. And theres the humor of it.
Nym.Here, take your humor Letter againe,
For my part, I will keepe the hauior
Of reputation. And theres the humor of it.
65Fal.Here sirrha beare me these Letters titely,Saile like my pinnice to the golden shores:Hence slaues, avant. Vanish like hailstones, goe.Falstaffewill learne the humor of this age,French thrift you rogue, my selfe and scirted Page.
65Fal.Here sirrha beare me these Letters titely,
Saile like my pinnice to the golden shores:
Hence slaues, avant. Vanish like hailstones, goe.
Falstaffewill learne the humor of this age,
French thrift you rogue, my selfe and scirted Page.
Exit Falstaffe, and the Boy.
70Pis.And art thou gone? Teaster Ile haue in pouchWhen thou shalt want, bace Phrygian Turke,
70Pis.And art thou gone? Teaster Ile haue in pouch
When thou shalt want, bace Phrygian Turke,
Nym.I haue operations in my head, which are humors of reuenge.
Pis.Wilt thou reuenge?
III. 75Nym.ByWelkinand her Fairies.
Pis.By wit, or sword?
Nym.With both the humors I will disclose this loue toPage. He poses him with Iallowes,And theres the humor of it.
Nym.With both the humors I will disclose this loue toPage. He poses him with Iallowes,
And theres the humor of it.
80Pis.And I to Foord will likewise tellHowFalstaffevarlot vilde,Would haue her loue, his doue would proue,And eke his bed defile.
80Pis.And I to Foord will likewise tell
HowFalstaffevarlot vilde,
Would haue her loue, his doue would proue,
And eke his bed defile.
Nym.Let vs about it then.
85Pis.He second thee: sir CorporallNymtroope on.
Exit omnes.
Quic.M.Slenderis your masters name say you?
Sim.I indeed that is his name.
Quic.How say you? I take it hee is somewhat a weakly man:And he has as it were a whay coloured beard.
Quic.How say you? I take it hee is somewhat a weakly man:
And he has as it were a whay coloured beard.
5Sim.Indeed my maisters beard is kane colored.
Quic.Kane colour, you say well.And is this Letter from sirYou, about misterisAn,Is it not?
Quic.Kane colour, you say well.
And is this Letter from sirYou, about misterisAn,
Is it not?
Sim.I indeed is it.
10Quic.So: and your Maister would haue me as it twere to speak to misterisAnneconcerning him: I promise you my M. hath a great affectoned mind to mistresseAnnehimselfe. And if he should know that I should as they say, giue my verdit for any one but himselfe, I should heare of it throughly: For I tell you friend, he puts all his priuities15in me.
Sim.I by my faith you are a good staie to him.
Quic.Am I? I and you knew all yowd say so:Washing, brewing, baking, al goes through my hands,Or else it would be but a woe house.
Quic.Am I? I and you knew all yowd say so:
Washing, brewing, baking, al goes through my hands,
Or else it would be but a woe house.
20Sim.I beshrow me, one woman to do all this, Is very painfull.
Quic.Are you auised of that? I, I warrant you,Take all, and paie all, all goe through my hands,And he is such a honest man,andhe should chanceIV. 25To come home and finde a man here, we shouldHaue nowhowith him. He is a parlowes man.
Quic.Are you auised of that? I, I warrant you,
Take all, and paie all, all goe through my hands,
And he is such a honest man,andhe should chance
IV. 25To come home and finde a man here, we should
Haue nowhowith him. He is a parlowes man.
Sim.Is he indeed?
Quic.Is he, quoth you? God keepe him abroad:Lord blesse me, who knocks there?30For Gods sake step into the Counting-house,While I go see whose atdoore.He steps into the Counting-house.WhatIohn Rugby,Iohn,Are you come home sir alreadie?
Quic.Is he, quoth you? God keepe him abroad:
Lord blesse me, who knocks there?
30For Gods sake step into the Counting-house,
While I go see whose atdoore.
He steps into the Counting-house.
WhatIohn Rugby,Iohn,
Are you come home sir alreadie?
And she opens the doore.
Doct.IbegarIbe forget mine oyntment,35Where beIohn Rugby?
Doct.IbegarIbe forget mine oyntment,
35Where beIohn Rugby?
Rug.Here sir, do you call?
Doct.Iyou beIohn Rugbie, and you beIack RugbyGoe run vp met your heeles, and bring awayDe oyntment in the vindoe present:40Make hasteIohn Rugbie. OIam almost forgetMy simples in a boxe in de Counting-house:OIeshu vat be here, a deuella, a deuella?My RapierIohn Rugby, Vat be you, vat makeYou in my Counting-house?45Itinck you be a teefe.
Doct.Iyou beIohn Rugbie, and you beIack Rugby
Goe run vp met your heeles, and bring away
De oyntment in the vindoe present:
40Make hasteIohn Rugbie. OIam almost forget
My simples in a boxe in de Counting-house:
OIeshu vat be here, a deuella, a deuella?
My RapierIohn Rugby, Vat be you, vat make
You in my Counting-house?
45Itinck you be a teefe.
Quic.Ieshu blesse me, we are all vndone.
Sim.O Lord sir no:Iam no theefe,Iam a Seruingman:My name isIohn Simple,Ibrought a Letter sirIV. 50From my M.Slender, about misterisAnne PageSir:Indeed that is my comming.
Sim.O Lord sir no:Iam no theefe,
Iam a Seruingman:
My name isIohn Simple,Ibrought a Letter sir
IV. 50From my M.Slender, about misterisAnne Page
Sir:Indeed that is my comming.
Doct.Ibegar is dat all?Iohn Rugbygiue a ma penAnInck: tarche vn pettit tarche a little.
Doct.Ibegar is dat all?Iohn Rugbygiue a ma pen
AnInck: tarche vn pettit tarche a little.
The Doctor writes.
Sim.O God what a furious man is this?
55Quic.Nay it is well he is no worse:Iam glad he is so quiet.
55Quic.Nay it is well he is no worse:
Iam glad he is so quiet.
Doc.Here giue that same to sirHu, it ber ve chalengeBegar tell himIwill cut his nase, will you?
Doc.Here giue that same to sirHu, it ber ve chalenge
Begar tell himIwill cut his nase, will you?
Sim.Isir,Ile tell him so.
60Doc.Dat be vell, my rapierIohn Rugby, follow may.
Exit Doctor.
Quic.Well my friend,Icannot tarry, tell yourMaisterIle doo what I can for him,And so farewell.
Quic.Well my friend,Icannot tarry, tell your
MaisterIle doo what I can for him,
And so farewell.
Sim.Marry will I, I am glad I am got hence.
Exit omnes.
Mis. Pa.Mistresse PageIloue you. Ask me no reason,Because theyr impossible to alledge. Your faire,AndIam fat. You loue sack, so doI:AsIam sureIhaue no mind but to loue,5SoIknow you haue no hart but tograntA souldier doth not vse many words where a knowesA letter may serue for a sentence.Iloue you,And soIleaue you.Yours Syr Iohn Falstaffe.10Now Ieshu blesse me, am I methomorphised?
Mis. Pa.Mistresse PageIloue you. Ask me no reason,
Because theyr impossible to alledge. Your faire,
AndIam fat. You loue sack, so doI:
AsIam sureIhaue no mind but to loue,
5SoIknow you haue no hart but togrant
A souldier doth not vse many words where a knowes
A letter may serue for a sentence.Iloue you,
And soIleaue you.
Yours Syr Iohn Falstaffe.
10Now Ieshu blesse me, am I methomorphised?
I think I knowe not my selfe. Why what a Gods name doth this man see in me, that thus he shootes at my honestie? Well but that I knowe my owne heart, I should scarcely perswade my selfe I were hand. Why what an vnreasonable woolsack is this. He was neuer15twicein my companie, and if then I thought I gaue such assurance with my eies, Ide pull them out, they should neuer see more holie daies. Well, I shall trust fat men the worse while I liue for his sake. O God, that I knew how to be reuenged of him. But in good time, heeres mistresseFoord.
20Mis. For.How now mistrisPage, are you are reading Loue letters? How do you woman?
Mis. Pa.O woman I am I know not what:In loue vp to the hard eares. I was neuer in such a case in my life.
Mis. Pa.O woman I am I know not what:
In loue vp to the hard eares. I was neuer in such a case in my life.
Mis. Ford.In loue, now in the name of God with whom?
V. 25Mis. Pa.With one that sweares he loues me,And I must not choose but do the like againe:I prethie looke on that Letter.
V. 25Mis. Pa.With one that sweares he loues me,
And I must not choose but do the like againe:
I prethie looke on that Letter.
Mis. For.He match your letter iust with the like,Line for line, word for word. Onely the name30Of misterisPage, and misterisFoorddisagrees:Do me thekindnesto looke vpon this.
Mis. For.He match your letter iust with the like,
Line for line, word for word. Onely the name
30Of misterisPage, and misterisFoorddisagrees:
Do me thekindnesto looke vpon this.
Mis. Pa.Why this is right my letter.O most notorious villaine!Why what a bladder of iniquity is this?35Lets be reuenged what so ere we do.
Mis. Pa.Why this is right my letter.
O most notorious villaine!
Why what a bladder of iniquity is this?
35Lets be reuenged what so ere we do.
Mis. For.Reuenged, if we liue weel be reuenged.O Lord if my husband should see this Letter,Ifaith this would euen giue edge to his Iealousie.
Mis. For.Reuenged, if we liue weel be reuenged.
O Lord if my husband should see this Letter,
Ifaith this would euen giue edge to his Iealousie.
Mis. Pa.See where our husbands are,40Mine’s as far from Iealousie,As I am from wronging him.
Mis. Pa.See where our husbands are,
40Mine’s as far from Iealousie,
As I am from wronging him.
Pis.Fordthe words I speake are forst:Beware, take heed, forFalstaffeloues thy wife:WhenPistolllies do this.
Pis.Fordthe words I speake are forst:
Beware, take heed, forFalstaffeloues thy wife:
WhenPistolllies do this.
45Ford.Why sir my wife is not young.
Pis.He wooes both yong and old, both rich and poore,None comes amis. I say he loues thy wife:Faire warning did I giue, take heed,For sommer comes, and cuckoo birds appeare;V. 50Pagebelieue him what he ses. Away sir CorporalNym.
Pis.He wooes both yong and old, both rich and poore,
None comes amis. I say he loues thy wife:
Faire warning did I giue, take heed,
For sommer comes, and cuckoo birds appeare;
V. 50Pagebelieue him what he ses. Away sir CorporalNym.
Exit Pistoll:
Nym.Syr the humor of it is, he loues your wife,I should ha borne the humor Letter to her:I speake and I auouch tis true: My name isNym.Farwell, I loue not the humor of bread and cheese:55And theres the humor of it.
Nym.Syr the humor of it is, he loues your wife,
I should ha borne the humor Letter to her:
I speake and I auouch tis true: My name isNym.
Farwell, I loue not the humor of bread and cheese:
55And theres the humor of it.
Exit Nym.
Pa.The humor of it, quoth you:Heres a fellow frites humor out of his wits.
Pa.The humor of it, quoth you:
Heres a fellow frites humor out of his wits.
Mis. Pa.How now sweet hart, how dost thou?
Pa.How now man? how do you mistrisFord?
60Mis. For.Well I thanke you good M.Page.How now husband, how chaunce thou art somelancholy?
60Mis. For.Well I thanke you good M.Page.
How now husband, how chaunce thou art somelancholy?
Ford.Melancholy, I am not melancholy.Goe get you in, goe.
Ford.Melancholy, I am not melancholy.
Goe get you in, goe.
Mis. For.God saue me, see who yonder is:65Weele set her a worke in this businesse.
Mis. For.God saue me, see who yonder is:
65Weele set her a worke in this businesse.
Mis Pa.O sheele serue excellent.Now you come to see my daughterAnI am sure.
Mis Pa.O sheele serue excellent.
Now you come to see my daughterAnI am sure.
Quic.I forsooth that is my comming.
Mis. Pa.Come go in with me. Come Mis.Ford.
70Mis. For.I follow you MistressePage.
Exit MistresseFord, Mis.Page, andQuickly.
For.M.Pagedid you heare what these fellows said?
Pa.Yes M.Ford, what of that sir?
For.Do you thinke it is true that they told vs?
Pa.No by my troth do I not,V. 75I rather take them to be paltry lying knaues,Such as rather speakes of enuie,Then of any certaine they haueOf any thing. And for the knight, perhapsHe hath spoke merrily, as the fashion of fat men80Are: But should he loue my wife,Ifaith Ide turne her loose to him:And what he got more of her,Then ill lookes, and shrowd words,Why let me beare the penaltie of it.
Pa.No by my troth do I not,
V. 75I rather take them to be paltry lying knaues,
Such as rather speakes of enuie,
Then of any certaine they haue
Of any thing. And for the knight, perhaps
He hath spoke merrily, as the fashion of fat men
80Are: But should he loue my wife,
Ifaith Ide turne her loose to him:
And what he got more of her,
Then ill lookes, and shrowd words,
Why let me beare the penaltie of it.
85For.Nay I do not mistrust my wife,Yet Ide be loth to turne them together,A man may be too confident.
85For.Nay I do not mistrust my wife,
Yet Ide be loth to turne them together,
A man may be too confident.
Enter Host and Shallow.
Pa.Here comes my ramping host of the garter,Ther’s either licker in his hed, or mony in his purse,90That he lookes so merily. Now mine Host?
Pa.Here comes my ramping host of the garter,
Ther’s either licker in his hed, or mony in his purse,
90That he lookes so merily. Now mine Host?
Host.God blesse you my bully rookes, God blesse you.Caualera Iustice I say.
Host.God blesse you my bully rookes, God blesse you.
Caualera Iustice I say.
Shal.At hand mine host, at hand. M.Ford. god dento youGod den and twentie good M.Page.95I tell you sir we haue sport in hand.
Shal.At hand mine host, at hand. M.Ford. god dento you
God den and twentie good M.Page.
95I tell you sir we haue sport in hand.
Host.Tell him cauelira Iustice: tell him bully rooke.
Ford.Mine Host a the garter:
Host.What ses my bully rooke?
Ford.A word with you sir.
Ford and the Host talkes.
V. 100Shal.Harke you sir, Ile tell you what the sport shall beDoctor Cayus and sirHuare to fight,My merrie Host hath had the measuringOf their weapons, and hathAppointed them contrary places. Harke in your eare:
V. 100Shal.Harke you sir, Ile tell you what the sport shall be
Doctor Cayus and sirHuare to fight,
My merrie Host hath had the measuring
Of their weapons, and hath
Appointed them contrary places. Harke in your eare:
105Host:Hast thou no shute against my knight, My guest, my cauellira.
For.None I protest: But tell him my nameIsRrooke, onlie for a Iest.
For.None I protest: But tell him my name
IsRrooke, onlie for a Iest.
Host:Thy hand bully: thou shalt110Haue egres and regres, and thy Name shall beBrooke:Sed I well bully Hector?
Host:Thy hand bully: thou shalt
110Haue egres and regres, and thy Name shall beBrooke:
Sed I well bully Hector?
Shal.I tell you what M.Page, I beleeueThe Doctor is no Iester, heele laie it on:For tho we be Iustices and Doctors,115And Church men, yet we areThe sonnes of women M.Page:
Shal.I tell you what M.Page, I beleeue
The Doctor is no Iester, heele laie it on:
For tho we be Iustices and Doctors,
115And Church men, yet we are
The sonnes of women M.Page:
Pa:True maisterShallow:
Shal:It will be found so maisterPage:
Pa.MaisterShallow, you your selfe120Haue bene a great fighter,Though now a man of peace:
Pa.MaisterShallow, you your selfe
120Haue bene a great fighter,
Though now a man of peace:
Shal:M. Page, I haue seene the day that yongTall fellowes with their stroke and their passado,I haue made them trudge MaisterPage,V. 125A tis the hart, the hart doth all: IHaue seene the day, with my two hand swordI would a made you foure tall FencersScipped like Rattes.
Shal:M. Page, I haue seene the day that yong
Tall fellowes with their stroke and their passado,
I haue made them trudge MaisterPage,
V. 125A tis the hart, the hart doth all: I
Haue seene the day, with my two hand sword
I would a made you foure tall Fencers
Scipped like Rattes.
Host.Here boyes, shall we wag, shall we wag?
Shal.Ha with you mine host.
Exit Host and Shallow.
Pa.Come M.Ford, shall we to dinner?I know these fellowes sticks in your minde.
Pa.Come M.Ford, shall we to dinner?
I know these fellowes sticks in your minde.
For.No in good sadnesse, not in mine:Yet for all this Ile try it further,135I will not leaue it so:Come M. Page, shall we to dinner?
For.No in good sadnesse, not in mine:
Yet for all this Ile try it further,
135I will not leaue it so:
Come M. Page, shall we to dinner?
Page.With all my hart sir,Ile follow you.
Exit omnes.
Fal.Ile not lend thee a peny.
Pis.Iwill retort the sum in equipage.
Fal.Not a pennie:Ihaue beene content you shuld lay my countenance to pawne:Ihaue grated vpon my good friends for 3 repriues,5for you and your Coach-followNym, else you might a looked thorow a grate like a geminy of babones. I am damned in hell for swearing to Gentlemen your good souldiers and tall fellowes: and whenmistrisseBrigetlost the handle of her Fan, I tooked on myho-thou hadst it not.
10Pis.Didst thou not share? hadst thou not fifteene pence?
Fal.Reason you rogue, reason.Doest thou thinkeIle indanger my soule gratis?
Fal.Reason you rogue, reason.
Doest thou thinkeIle indanger my soule gratis?
In briefe, hang no more about mee, I am no gybit for you.Ashort knife and a throng to your manner of pickt hatch, goe. Youle not15beare a Letter for me you rogue you: you stand vpon your honor. Why thou vnconfinable basenesse thou, tis as much as I can do to keepe the termes of my honor precise. I, I my selfe sometimes, leauing the feare of God on the left hand, am faine to shuffel, to filch and to lurch. And yet you stand vpon your honor, you rogue. You,20you.
Pis.I do recant: what woulst thou more of man?
Fal.Well, gotoo, away, no more.
Quic.Good you god den sir.
Fal.Good den faire wife.
VI. 25Quic.Not so ant like your worship.
Fal.Faire mayd then.
Quic.That I am Ile be sworne, as my mother wasThe first houre I was borne.Sir I would speake with you in priuate.
Quic.That I am Ile be sworne, as my mother was
The first houre I was borne.
Sir I would speake with you in priuate.
30Fal.Say on I prethy, heeres none but my owne houshold.
Quic.Are they so? Now God blesse them, and make them his seruants.
Syr I come from MistresseFoord.
Fal.So from MistresseFoord. Goe on.
35Quic.I sir, she hath sent me to you to let youVnderstand she hath receiued your Letter,Andlet metell you, she is onestands vponher credit.
35Quic.I sir, she hath sent me to you to let you
Vnderstand she hath receiued your Letter,
Andlet metell you, she is onestands vponher credit.
Fal.Well, come MisterisFord, MisterisFord.
Quic.I sir, and as they say, she is not the first40Hath bene led in a fooles paradice.
Quic.I sir, and as they say, she is not the first
40Hath bene led in a fooles paradice.
Fal.Nay prethy be briefe my good sheMercury.
Quic.Mary sir, sheed haue you meet her betweene eight and nine.
Fal.So betweene eight and nine:
45Qu.I forsooth, for then her husband goes a birding,
Fal.Well commend me to thy mistris, tel herI will not faile her: Boy giue her my purse.
Fal.Well commend me to thy mistris, tel her
I will not faile her: Boy giue her my purse.
Quic.Nay sir I haue another arant to do to youFrom misterisPage:
Quic.Nay sir I haue another arant to do to you
From misterisPage:
VI. 50Fal.From misterisPage? I prethy what of her?
Qu.By my trothIthink you work byInchantments,Elsthey couldneuer loue you as they doo:
Qu.By my trothIthink you work byInchantments,
Elsthey couldneuer loue you as they doo:
Fal.NotI,Iassure thee; setting the attraction of myGood parts aside,Ivse no other inchantments:
Fal.NotI,Iassure thee; setting the attraction of my
Good parts aside,Ivse no other inchantments:
55Quic.Well sir, she loues you extreemly:And let me tell you, shees one that feares God,And her husband giues her leaue to do all:For he is not halfe soiealousieas M.Fordis.
55Quic.Well sir, she loues you extreemly:
And let me tell you, shees one that feares God,
And her husband giues her leaue to do all:
For he is not halfe soiealousieas M.Fordis.
Fal.But harke thee, hath misterisPageand mistrisFord,60Acquainted each other how dearly they loue me?
Fal.But harke thee, hath misterisPageand mistrisFord,
60Acquainted each other how dearly they loue me?
Quic.O God no sir: there were a iest indeed.
Fal.Well farwel, commend me to misterisFord,I will not faile her say.
Fal.Well farwel, commend me to misterisFord,
I will not faile her say.
Quic.God be with your worship.
Exit Mistresse Quickly.
65Bar.Sir, heer’s a Gentleman,One M.Brooke, would speak with you,
65Bar.Sir, heer’s a Gentleman,
One M.Brooke, would speak with you,
He hath sent you a cup of sacke.
Fal.M.Brooke, hees welcome: bid him come vp,SuchBrookesare alwaies welcome to me:70AIack, will thy old bodie yet hold out?Wilt thou after the expence of so much monyBe now a gainer? GoodbodieIthanke thee,AndIle make more of thee thenIha done:Ha, ha, misterisFord, and misterisPage, haueVI. 75Icaught youa thehip? go too.
Fal.M.Brooke, hees welcome: bid him come vp,
SuchBrookesare alwaies welcome to me:
70AIack, will thy old bodie yet hold out?
Wilt thou after the expence of so much mony
Be now a gainer? GoodbodieIthanke thee,
AndIle make more of thee thenIha done:
Ha, ha, misterisFord, and misterisPage, haue
VI. 75Icaught youa thehip? go too.
For.God saue you sir.
Fal.And you too, would you speak with me?