By theREV. THOMAS WARTON, B.D.
Fellow of the Trinity College, in Oxford, late Professor of Poetry in that University, and now Poet Laureat to his Majesty.
I.Amid the thunder of the war,True glory guides no echoing car;Nor bids the sword her bays bequeath;Nor stains with blood her brightest wreath:No plumed host her tranquil triumphs own:Nor spoils of murder’d multitudes she brings,To swell the state of her distinguish’d, kings,And deck her chosen throne.On that fair throne, to Britain dear,With the flowering olive twin’d,High she hangs the hero’s spear;And there, with all the palms of peace combin’d,Her unpolluted hands the milder trophy rear.To kings like these, her genuine theme,The Muse a blameless homage pays;To GEORGE, of kings like these supreme,She wishes honour’d length of days,Nor prostitutes the tribute of her lays.
II.’Tis his to bid neglected genius glow,And teach the regal bounty how to flow;His tutelary sceptre’s swayThe vindicated Arts obey,And hail their patron King:’Tis his to judgment’s steady lineTheir flights fantastic to confine,And yet expand their wing:The fleeting forms of Fashion to restrain,And bind capricious Taste in Truth’s eternal chain.Sculpture, licentious now no more,From Greece her great example takes,With Nature’s warmth the marble wakes,And spurns the toys of modern lore:In native beauty, simply plann’d,Corinth, thy tufted shafts ascend;The Graces guide the painter’s hand,His magic mimicry to blend.
III.While such the gifts his reign bestows,Amid the proud display,Those gems around the throne he throwsThat shed a softer ray:While from the summits of sublime RenownHe wafts his favour’s universal gale,With those sweet flowers he binds a crownThat bloom in Virtue’s humble vale.With rich munificence, the nuptial tye,Unbroken he combines:——Conspicuous in a nation’s eye,The sacred pattern shines!Fair Science to reform, reward, and raise,To spread the lustre of domestic praise;To foster Emulation’s holy flame,To build Society’s majestic frame:Mankind to polish and to teach,Be this the monarch’s aim;Above Ambition’s giant-reachThe monarch’s meed to claim.
The illustriousArbiters, of whom we may with great truth describe the noble Earl as the veryalter-ipseofMæcenas, and the worthyPierot, as the most correct counterpart ofPetronius, had carefully revised the whole of the preceding productions, and had indulged the defeated ambition of restless and aspiring Poetry, with a most impartial and elaborateScrutiny(the whole account of which, faithfully translated from the Italian ofSignor Delpini, and the English of theEarl of Salisbury, will, in due time, be submitted to the inspection of the curious), were preparing to make a legal return, when an event happened that put a final period to their proceedings.—The following is a correct account of this interesting occurrence:
On Sunday the 17th of the present month, to wit, July, Anno Domini, 1785, just as his Majesty was ascending the stairs of his gallery, to attend divine worship at WINDSOR, he was surprized by the appearance of a little, thick, squat, red-faced man, who, in a very odd dress, and kneeling upon one knee, presented a piece of paper for the Royal acceptation. His Majesty, amazed at the sight of such a figure in such a place, had already given orders to one of the attendant beef-eaters to dismiss him from his presence, when, by a certain hasty spasmodic mumbling, together with two or three prompt quotations from Virgil, the person was discovered to be no other than the Rev. Mr.Thomas Wartonhimself, dressed in the official vesture of his professorship, and the paper which he held in his hand being nothing else but a fair-written petition, designed for the inspection of his Majesty, our gracious Sovereign, made up for the seeming rudeness of the first reception, by a hearty embrace on recognition; and the contents of the petition being forthwith examined, were found to be pretty nearly as follows.——We omit the common-place compliments generally introduced in the exordia of these applications, as “relying upon your Majesty’s well-known clemency;” “convinced of your Royal regard for the real interest of your subjects;” “penetrated with the fullest conviction of your wisdom and justice,” &c. &c. which, though undoubtedly very true, when considered as addressed to George the Third,might, perhaps, as matters of mere form, be applied to a Sovereign, who neither had proved wisdom nor regard for his subjects in one act of his reign, and proceed to the substance and matter of the complaint itself. It sets forth, “That the Petitioner, Mr.Thomas, had been many years a maker of Poetry, as his friend Mr.Sadler, the pastry-cook, of Oxford, and some other creditable witnesses, could well evince: that many of his works of fancy, and more particularly that one, which is known by the name of hisCriticisms upon Milton, had been well received by the learned; that thus encouraged, he had entered the list, together with many other great and respectable candidates, for the honour of a succession to the vacantLaureatship; that a decided return had been made in his favour by the officers best calculated to judge, namely, the Right Hon. the Earl of Salisbury, and the learnedSignor Delpini, his Lordship’s worthy coadjutor; that the Signor’s delicacy, unhappily for the Petitioner, like that of Mr.Corbett, in the instance of the Westminster election, had inclined him to the grant of a SCRUTINY; that in consequence of the vexatious and pertinacious perseverance on the part of several gentlemen in this illegal and oppressive measure, the Petitioner had been severely injured in his spirits, his comforts, and his interest: that he had been for many years engaged in a most laborious and expensive undertaking, in which he had been honoured with the most liberal communications from all the universities in Europe, to wit, a splendid and most correct edition of thePoemata Minora, of the immortal Mr.Stephen Duck; that he was also under positive articles of literary partnership with his brother, the learned and well-known Dr.Joseph, to supply two pages per day in his new work, now in the press, entitled his Essayon the Life and Writingsof Mr. THOMAS HICKATHRIFT; in both of which great undertakings, the progress had been most essentially interrupted by the great anxiety and distress of mind, under which the Petitioner has for some time laboured, on account of this inequitable scrutiny; that the Petitioner is bound by his honour and his engagement to prepare a new Ode for the birth-day of her most gracious Majesty, which he is very desirous of executing with as much poetry, perspicuity, and originality, as are universally allowed to have characterised his last effusion, in honour of the Natal Anniversary of his Royal Master’s sacred self; that there are but six months to come for such a preparation, and that the Petitioner has got no farther yet than ’Hail Muse!’ in the first stanza, which very much inclines him to fear he shall not be able to finish the whole in the short period above-mentioned, unless his Majesty should be graciously pleased to order some of his Lords of the Bed-chamber to assist him, or should command a termination to the vexatious enquiry now pending. In humble hopes that these several considerations would have their due influence with his Majesty, the Petitioner concludes with the usual prayer, and signed himself as underneath, &c. &c. &c. THO. WARTON, B.D. &c. &c.”
Such was the influence of the above admirable appeal on the sympathetic feelings of Majesty, that the sermon, which we understand was founded upon the text, “Let him keep his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no untruth,” and which wasnotpreached by Dr.Prettyman, was entirely neglected, and a message instantly written, honoured by the Sign Manual, and directed to the office of the Right Hon. LordSydney, Secretary for the Home Department, enjoining an immediate redress for Mr.Thomas, and a total suspension of any further proceedings in a measure which (as the energy of Royal eloquence expressed it) was of such unexampled injustice, illegality, and oppression, as that of ascrutiny after a fair poll, and a decided superiority of admitted suffrages. This message, conveyed, as its solemnity well required, by no other Person than the Honourable youngTommyhimself, Secretary to his amazing father, had its due influence with the Court; the Noble Lord broke his wand; Mr.Delpiniexecuted achacone, and tried at asomerset; he grinned a grim obedience to the mandate, and calling for pen, ink, and paper, wrote the following letter to the Printer of that favourite diurnal vehicle through whose medium these effusions had been heretofore submitted to the public:
“Monsieur, On vous requis, you are hereby commandie not to pooblish any more of deOde Probationare—mon cher ami, Monsieur George le Roi, says it be ver bad to vex Monsieur le petit homme avec le grand paunch—Monsieur Wharton, any more vid scrutinée; je vous commande derefore to finis—Que le Roi soit loué!—God save de King! mind vat I say—ou le grand George and le bon Dieu damn votre ame & bodie, vos jambes, & vos pies, for ever and ever—pour jamais. (Signed) DELPINI.”
Nothing now remained, but for the Judges to make their return, which having done in favour of Mr.Thomas Warton, the original object of their preference, whom they now pronounced duly elected, the following Imperial notice was published in the succeeding Saturday’sGazette, confirming the Nomination, and giving legal Sanction to the Appointment.
To all CHRISTIAN PEOPLE to whom these presents shall come, greeting,
Know Ye, That by and with the advice, consent, concurrence, and approbation of our right trusty and well-beloved cousins, James Cecil, Earl of Salisbury, and Antonio Franciso Ignicio Delpini, Esq. Aur. and Pierot to the Theatre-royal, Hay-market, WE, for divers good causes and considerations, us thereunto especially moving, have made, ordained, nominated, constituted, and appointed, and by these presents do make, ordain, nominate, constitute, and appoint, the Rev. Thomas Warton, B.D. to be our true and only legal Laureat, Poet, and Poetaster; that is to say, to pen, write, compose, transpose, select, dictate, compile, indite, edite, invent, design, steal, put together, transcribe, frame, fabricate, manufacture, make, join, build, scrape, grub, collect, vamp, find, discover, catch, smuggle, pick-up, beg, borrow, or buy, in the same manner and with the same privileges as have been usually practised, and heretofore enjoyed by every other Laureat, whether by our Sacred Self appointed, or by our Royal predecessors, who now dwell with their fathers: and for this purpose, to produce, deliver, chaunt, or sing, as in our wisdom aforesaid we shall judge proper, at the least three good and substantial Odes, in the best English or German verse, in every year, that is to say, one due and proper Ode on the Nativity of our blessed Self; one due and proper Ode on the Nativity of our dearest and best beloved Royal Consort, for the time being; and also one due and proper Ode on the day of the Nativity of every future Year, of which God grant We may see many. And we do hereby most strictly command and enjoin, that no Scholar, Critic, Wit, Orthographer, or Scribbler, shall, by gibes, sneers, jests, judgments, quibbles, or criticisms, molest, interrupt, incommode, disturb, or confound the said Thomas Warton, or break the peace of his orderly, quiet, pains-taking, and inoffensive Muse, in the said exercise of his said duty. And we do hereby will and direct, that if any of the person or persons aforesaid, notwithstanding our absolute and positive command, shall be found offending against this our Royal Proclamation, that he, she, or they being duly convicted, shall, for every such crime and misdemeanor, be punished in the manner and form following; to wit—For the first offence he shall be drawn on a sledge to the most conspicuous and notorious part of our ever faithful city of London, and shall then and there, with an audible voice, pronounce, read, and deliver three several printed speeches of our right, trusty, and approved MAJOR JOHN SCOTT.—For the second offence, that he be required to translate into good and lawful English one whole unspoken speech of our right trusty and well-beloved cousin and councellor, Lord Viscount MOUNTMORRES, of the kingdom ofIreland;—and for the third offence, that he be condemned to read one whole page of the Poems, Essays, or Criticisms of our said Laureat, Mr. Thomas Warton.——And whereas the said office of Laureat is a place of the last importance, inasmuch as the person holding it has confided to him the care of making the Royal virtues known to the world; and we being minded and desirous that the said T. Warton should execute and perform the duties of his said office with the utmost dignity and decorum, NOW KNOW YE, That we have thought it meet to draw up a due and proper Table of Instructions, hereunto annexed, for the use of the said Thomas Warton, in his said poetical exercise and employment, which we do hereby most strictly will and enjoin the said Thomas Warton to abide by and follow, under pain of incurring our most high displeasure.
Given at our Court at St. James’s, this30th day of May, one thousand sevenhundred and eighty-five.Vivant Rex & Regina.
FOR THE REV. THOMAS WARTON, B.D. AND P.L. &c. &c.Chamberlain’s Office, May 30th, 1785.
1st, That in fabricating the catalogue of Regal Virtues (in which task the Poet may much assist his invention by perusing the Odes of his several predecessors) you be particularly careful not to omit his Chastity, his skill in Mechanics, and his Royal Talent of Child-getting.—
2dly, It is expected that you should be very liberally endowed with the gift of Prophecy; but be very careful not to predict any event but what may be perfectly acceptable to your Sovereign, such as the subjugation of America, the destruction of the Whigs, long-life, &c. &c.
3dly, That you be always provided with a due assortment of true, good-looking, and legitimate words; and that you do take all necessary care not to apply them but on their proper occasions; as for example, not to talk of dove-eyed peace, nor the gentle olive, in time of war; nor of trumpets, drums, fifes, nor [1]ECHOING CARS, in times of peace—as, for the sake of poetical conveniency, several of your predecessors have been known to do.
4thly, That as the Sovereign for the time being must always be the best, the greatest, and the wisest, that ever existed; so the year also, for the time being, must be the happiest, the mildest, the fairest, and the most prolific that ever occurred.—What reflections upon the year past you think proper.
5thly, That Music being a much higher and diviner science than Poetry, your Ode must always be adapted to the Music, and not the Music to your Ode.—The omission of a line or two cannot be supposed to make any material difference either in the poetry or in sense.
6thly, That as these sort of invitations have of late years been considered by the Muses as mere cards of compliment, and of course have been but rarely accepted, you must not waste more than twenty lines in invoking the Nine, nor repeat the word “Hail!” more than fifteen times at farthest.
7thly, And finally, That it may not be amiss to be a little intelligible[2].
[1] It is evident from this expression, that these instructions had not been delivered to Mr. Warton at the time of his writing his last famous Ode on the Birth-day of his Majesty: a circumstance which makes that amazing composition still more extraordinary.
[2] This is an additional proof that Mr. Warton had not received, the Instructions at the time he composed his said Ode.
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The very favourable reception given to the ROLLIAD, and PROBATIONARY ODES, has induced the Editor to conceive, that a collection of politicalJeus d’Esprits, by the authors of those celebrated performances, would prove equally acceptable. Various publications upon a similar plan have already been attempted; but their good things have been so scantily interspersed, that they have appeared like GRATIANO’s reasons, “as two grains ofWHEATin a bushel ofCHAFF.” In the present Edition are contained not only a number of pieces which have at different times been given to the Public, but also a variety of Original Articles, which but for the flattering confidence of private friendship, would have still remained in the closets of their authors. MISCELLANIES, indeed, in any state, from the variety which they afford, must ever be attractive; but, when added to this inherent advantage, they also possess the benefit of a proper selection, their attraction must of necessity become materially enhanced. The fame of the Authors of the following sheets is too well established in the mind of every person of taste and literature, to derive any aid from our feeble panegyric. It is only to be lamented that, from the peculiar circumstances under which these their poetical offspring make their appearance, the Parents’ names cannot be announced to the world with all that parade which accompanies a more legal intercourse with the Muses. Perhaps, however, the vigour and native energy of the Parents, appear much more prominent in these ardent inspirations of nature, than in the cold, nerveless, unimpassioned efforts of a legitimate production. It may here be objected by some fastidious critics, that if writings, evidently so reputable to the fame of the authors, are of such a construction as to be unfit to be acknowledged, that they are equally unfit for publication: but let these gentlemen recollect, that it has ever been held perfectly justifiable to utter those sarcasms under a masque, which the strict rules of decorum would render inadmissible in any other situation. The shafts of ridicule have universally been found more efficacious in correcting folly and impertinence, than the most serious reproof; and while we pursue the example of POPE, SWIFT, ARBUTHNOT, ADDISON, and others of the wittiest, the wisest, and the best men of the age in which they lived, we shall little fear the cavils of ill-nature. If it should be urged that the subjects of these political productions are merely temporary, and will be forgotten with the hour which gave them birth; let it at the same time be recollected, that though the heroes of the DUNCIAD have sunk into their native obscurity, the reputation of the poem which celebrated their worth, still retains its original splendour. And, in truth, as a matter of equity, if blockheads and dunces are worthy to be recorded in the Poet’s page, why may not Privy Councillors and Lords of the Bedchamber demand a similar exaltation?
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PROBATIONARY ODE EXTRAORDINARY,By the Rev. W. MASON, M.A.
[The following second attempt of Mr. MASON, at the ROYAL SACK, was not inserted in the celebrated collection of Odes formed by Sir JOHN HAWKINS.—What might be the motive of the learned Knight for this omission can at present only be known to himself.—Whether he treasured it up for the next edition of his Life of Dr. JOHNSON, or whether he condemned it for its too close resemblance to a former elegant lyric effusion of the Rev. Author, must remain for time, or Mr, FRANCIS BARBER, to develope.—Having, however, been fortunate enough to procure a copy, we have printed both the Odes in opposite leaves, that in case the latter supposition should turn out to be well founded, the public may decide how far the worthy magistrate was justified in this exclusion.]
To the HonourableWILLIAM PITT.To the Right Hon.WILLIAM PITT.
ByW. MASON,M.A.ByW. MASON,M.A.
Μή νὺν, οτι φθονεραὶ “Give not the Mitre now!Θνατὣν φρένας ἀμφικρέμανται έλπίδες, Lest base-tongued ENVY squinting at mybrow,Μήτ᾽ ἀρετάν ποτε σιγάτω πατρῴαν, Cry, ’lo! the price for CAVENDISHbetray’d!’Μηδὲ τούσδ ὕμνους. But in good time nor that, oh! PITT!PINDAR, Isthm. Ode 2. forget,Nor my more early service yet unpaid,My puffs on CHATHAM in his offspring’said,Not what this loyal Ode shall add toswell the debt.”MY OWN TRANSLATION.
I. I.’Tis May’s meridian reign; yet Eurus ’Tis now the TENTH of APRIL; yet thecold windForbids each shrinking thorn its In frigid fetters doth each blossomleaves unfold, bind,Or hang with silver buds her rural No silver buds her rural thronethrone: emboss:No primrose shower from her green lap No violetsbluefrom hergreenlapshe throws[1], she throws[2];No daisy, violet, or cowslip blows, Oh! lack-a-daisy! not a daisy blows,And Flora weeps her fragrant And (ere she has them) FLORA weepsoffspring gone. their loss.Hoar frost arrests the genial dew; Hoar frost, with bailiff’s grizlyhue,To wake, to warble, and to woo At Winter’s suit, arrests the dew;No linnet calls his drooping No Cuckow wakes her drowsy mate:love:Shall then the poet strike the His harp then shall a Parsonlyre, strum,When mute are all the feather’d When other Blackbirds all arequire, dumb,And Nature fails to warm the syrens of When neither Starlings, Daws, orthe grove? Magpies prate?
II. II.He shall: for what the sullen Spring He shall: for what the sulky Springdenies denies,The orient beam of virtuous youth An annual butt of sugar’d SACKsupplies: supplies;That moral dawn be his inspiring That beverage sweet be his inspiringflame. flame,Beyond the dancing radiance of the Cloath’d in the radiant influence ofeast the East,Thy glory, son of CHATHAM! fires his Thy glory, son of CHATHAM, fires hisbreast, breast;And proud to celebrate thy vernal And swift to adulate thy vernalfame. fame,Hark, from this lyre the strain Hark! from his lyre a strain isascends, heard,Which but to Freedom’s fav’rite In hopes, ere long, to befriends preferred,That lyre disdains to sound. To sit in state ’midst mitredpeers.Hark and approve, as did thy Hark and approve! as did thy sire,sire[3]The lays which once with kindred The lays which, nodding by thefire fire,His muse in attic mood made Mona’s To gentle slumbers sooth’d hisoaks rebound. listening ears.
III. III.Long silent since, save when, in Long silent since, save when onKEPPEL’s name, t’other side,Detraction, murd’ring BRITAIN’s naval In KEPPEL’s praise to little purposefame, tried,Rous’d into sounds of scorn th’ I rous’d to well-feign’d scorn theindignant string[4]. indignant string;But now, replenish’d with a richer But now replete with a more hopefultheme, theme,The vase of harmony shall pour its The o’erflowing ink-bottle shall pourstream, its stream,Fann’d by free Fancy’s Through quills by Dullness pluck’drainbow-tinctur’d wing. from gosling’s downy wing.Thy country too shall hail the St. JAMES’s too shall hail thesong, song,Her echoing heart the notes Her echoing walls the notesprolong; prolong,While they alone with [5]envy Whilst they alone with sorrowsigh, sigh.Whose rancour to thy parent dead Whose reverence for thy parentdead,Aim’d, ere his funeral rites were Now bids them hang their droopingpaid, head,With vain vindictive rage to starve And weep, to mark the conduct of hishis progeny. progeny.
IV. IV.From earth and these the muse averts From these the courtly muse averts herher view, eye.To meet in yonder sea of ether blue To meet with genuine unaffected joyA beam to which the blaze of noon is A scene that passes in the Closet’spale: gloom;In purpling circles now the glory In whitening circles the dim gloryspreads, spreads,A host of angels now unveil their Bedchamber Lords unveil their powder’dheads, heads,While heav’n’s own music triumphs on And Tory triumphs sound throughoutthe gale. the room:Ah see, two white-rob’d seraphs Ah! see two Jannisaries leadleadThy father’s venerable shade; Illustrious BUTE’s thrice-honour’dshade;He bends from yonder cloud of Behind yon curtain did he stand,gold,While they, the ministers of Whilst they (which Whigs withlight, horror mark)Bear from his breast a mantle Bear from his cloak a lanternbright, dark,And with the heav’n-wove robe thy And trust the hallow’d engine to thyyouthful limbs enfold. youthful hand.
V. V.“Receive this mystic gift, my son!” he “Receive this mystic gift, brave boy,”cries, he cries,“And, for so wills the Sovereign of “And if so please the Sovereign of thethe skies, skies,With this receive, at ALBION’s With this receive at GEORGE’sanxious hour, anxious hour,A double portion of my patriot zeal, A double portion of my Tory zeal,Active to spread the fire it dar’d to Active to spread the fire it dared tofeel feel,Thro’ raptur’d senates, and with Through venal senates, and withawful power boundless pow’r,From the full fountain of the tongue From the full fountain of thetongue,To call the rapid tide along To roll a tide of words along,Till a whole nation caught the Till a whole nation is deceived.flame.So on thy sire shall heav’n bestow, So shall thy early labours gainA blessing TULLY fail’d to know, A blessing BUTE could ne’er attain;And redolent in thee diffuse thy In fact, a Courtier be, yet Patriot befather’s fame. believed.
VI. VI.“Nor thou, ingenuous boy! that Fame “Nor thou, presumptuous imp, that famedespise disown,Which lives and spreads abroad in Which draws its splendor from aHeav’n’s pure eyes, monarch’s throne,The last best energy of noble Sole energy of many a lordly mind,mind[6];Revere thy father’s shade; like him Revere the shade of BUTE, subservientdisdain stillThe tame, the timid, temporizing To the high dictates of the Royaltrain, will;Awake to self, to social interest Awake to self, to social interestblind: blind.Young as thou art, occasion calls, Young as thou art, occasion calls,Thy country’s scale or mounts or Prerogative or mounts or fallsfallsAs thou and thy compatriots As thou and thy compatriots[7]strive; strive,Scarce is the fatal moment past Scarce in the fatal moment pastThat trembling ALBION deem’d her Which Secret Influence deem’d herlast, last,O knit the union firm, and bid an Oh! save the expiring fiend, and bidempire live. her empire live!
VII. VII.“Proceed, and vindicate fair Freedom’s “Proceed!—Uphold Prerogative’s highclaim, claim,Give life, give strength, give Give life, give strength, givesubstance to her name; substance to her name!The native rights of man with Fraud The rights divine of Kings withcontest. Whigs contest;Yes, snatch them from Corruption’s Save them from Freedom’s boldbaleful power, incroaching hand,Who dares, in Day’s broad eye, those Who dares, in Day’s broad eye, thoserights devour, rights withstand,While prelates bow, and bless the And be by Bishops thy endeavoursharpy feast. bless’d!”If foil’d at first, resume thy If foil’d at first, resume thycourse, course,Rise strengthen’d with ANTÆAN Whilst I, though writing worse andforce, worse,So shall thy toil in conquest Thy glorious efforts willend. record;Let others court the tinsel things Let others seek by other ways,That hang upon the smile of kings, The public’s unavailing praise,Be thine the muse’s wreath; be thou Be mine the BUTT OF SACK—be thou thethe people’s friend.” TREASURY’S LORD!
[1] This expression is taken from Milton’s song on May Morning, to which this stanza in general alludes, and the 4th verse in the next.
[2] Improved from Milton.
[3] The poem of Curactacus was read in Ms. by the late Earl of Chatham, who honoured it with an approbation which the author is here proud to record.
[4] See Ode to the Naval Officers of Great Britain, written 1779.
[5] See the motto from Pindar.
[6] in allusion to a fine and well-known passage in MILTON’s Lycidas.
[7] Messrs. JENKINSON, ROBINSON, DUNDAS, &c. &c.
LANSDOWNE.While on the Treasury-Bench you, PITT, recline,And make men wonder at each vast design;I, hapless man, my harsher fate deplore,Ordain’d to view the regal face no more;That face which erst on me with rapture glow’d, 5And smiles responsive to my smiles bestow’d:But now the Court I leave, my native home,“A banish’d man, condemn’d in woods to roam;”While you to senates, BRUNSWICK’s mandates give,And teach white-wands to chaunt his high prerogative. 10
PITT.Oh! LANSDOWNE, ’twas a more than mortal pow’rMy fate controul’d, in that auspicious hour,When TEMPLE deign’d the dread decree to bring,And stammer’d out theFirmaunof the King:That power I’ll worship as my houshold god, 15Shrink at his frown, and bow beneath his nod;At every feast his presence I’ll invoke,For him my kitchen fires shall ever smoke;Not mighty HASTINGS, whose illustrious breathCan bid a RAJAH live, or give him death, 20Though back’d by SCOTT, by BARWELL, PALK, and allThe sable squadron scowling from BENGAL;Not the bold Chieftain of the tribe of PHIPPS,Whose head is scarce less handsome than his ship’s;Not bare-breech’d GRAHAM, nor bare-witted ROSE, 25Nor the GREAT LAWYER with the LITTLE NOSE;Not even VILLIERS’ self shall welcome be,To dine so oft, or dine so well as he.
LANSDOWNE.Think not these sighs denote one thought unkind,Wonder, not Envy, occupies my mind; 30For well I wot on that unhappy day,When BRITAIN mourn’d an empire giv’n away;When rude impeachments menaced from afar,And what gave peace to FRANCE—to us was war;For awful vengeance Heav’n appeared to call, 35And agonizing Nature mark’d our fall.Dire change! DUNDAS’s cheek with blushes glow’d,GRENVILLE was dumb, MAHON no phrenzy show’d;Though DRAKE harrangu’d, no slumber GILBERT fear’d,And MULGRAVE’s mouth like other mouths appear’d; 40In vain had BELLAMY prepar’d the meat;In vain the porter; BAMBER could not eat;When BURKE arose no yell the curs began,And ROLLE, for once, half seem’d a gentleman:Then name this god, for to St. JAMES’s Court, 45Nor gods nor angels often make resort.
PITT.In early youth misled by Honour’s rules,That fancied Deity of dreaming fools;I simply thought, forgive the rash mistake,That Kings should govern tor their People’s sake: 50But Reverend JENKY soon these thoughts supprest,And drove the glittering phantom from my breast;JENKY! that sage, whom mighty George declares,Next SCHWELLENBURGEN, great on the back stairs:’Twas JENKINSON—ye Deacons, catch the sound! 55Ye Treasury scribes, the sacred name rebound!Ye pages, sing it—echo it, ye Peers!And ye who best repeat, Right Reverend Seers!Whose pious tongues no wavering fancies sway,But like the needle ever point one way. 60
LANSDOWNE.Thrice happy youth! secure from every change,Thy beasts unnumber’d, ’mid the Commons range;Whilst thou, by JOVE’s ætherial spirit fired,Or by sweet BRUNSWICK’s sweeter breath inspired,Another ORPHEUS every bosom chear, 65And sticks, and stocks, and stones, roarhear! hear! hear!Raised by thy pipe the savage tribes advance,And Bulls and Bears in mystic mazes dance:For me no cattle now my steps attend,Ev’n PRICE and PRIESTLY, wearied, scorn their friend; 70And these twin sharers of my festive board,Hope of my flock, now seek some richer Lord.
PITT.Sooner shall EFFINGHAM clean linen wear,Or MORNINGTON without his star appear;Sooner each prisoner BULLER’s law escape; 75Sooner shall QUEENSBURY commit a rape;Sooner shall POWNEY, HOWARD’s noddle reach;Sooner shall THURLOW hear his brother preach;Sooner with VESTRIS, Bootle shall contend;Sooner shall EDEN not betray his friend; 80Sooner DUNDAS an Indian bribe decline;Sooner shall I my chastity resign;Sooner shall Rose than PRETTYMAN lie faster,Than PITT forget that JENKINSON’s his maker.
LANSDOWNE.Yet oft in times of yore I’ve seen thee stand 85Like a tall May-pole ’mid the patriot band;While with reforms you tried each baneful art,To wring fresh sorrows from your Sovereign’s heart;That heart, where every virtuous thought is known,But modestly locks up and keeps them all his own. 90
PITT.’Twas then that PITT, for youth such warmth allows,To wanton Freedom paid his amorous vows;Lull’d by her smiles, each offer I withstood,And thought the greatest bliss my country’s good.’Twas pride, not passion, madden’d in my brain, 95I wish’d to rival FOX, but wish’d in vain;Fox, the dear object of bright Freedom’s care,Fox still the favourite of the BRITISH fair;But while with wanton arts the syren stroveTo fix my heart, and wile me to her love; 100Too soon I found my hasty choice to blame,—Freedom and Poverty are still the same—While piles of massy gold his coffers fill,Who votes subservient to his Sovereign’s will.
LANSDOWNE.Enough, break off—on RICHMOND I must wait; 105And DEBBIEG too will think I stay too late;Yet ere I go some friendly aid I’d prove,The last sad tribute of a master’s love.In that famed College where true wisdom’s found,For MACHIAVELIAN policy renown’d, 110The pious pastors first fill’d LANSDOWNE’s mind,With all the lore for Ministers design’d:Then mark my words, and soon those Seers shall seeTheir famed IGNATIUS far outdone in thee;—In every action of your life be shown, 115You think the world was made for you alone;With cautious eye each character survey,Woo to deceive, and promise to betray;Let no rash passion Caution’s bounds destroy,And ah! no more appear “THE ANGRY BOY!” 120
PITT.Yet stay—Behold the Heav’ns begin to lour,And HOLLAND threatens with a thunder show’r;With me partake the feast, on this green box,Full fraught with many a feast for factious Fox;Each sapient hint that pious PRETTY gleans, 125And the huge bulk of ROSE’s Ways and Means;See too the smoaky citizens approach,Piled with petitions view their Lord Mayor’s coach;Ev’n now their lengthen’d shadows reach this floor,Oh! that d—n’d SHOP-TAX—AUBREY, shut the door! 130
THE STATESMEN.] It will be unnecessary to inform the classical reader, that this Eclogue evidently commences as an imitation of the 1st. of Vergil—the Author, however, with a boldness perfectly characteristic of the personages he was to represent, has in the progress of his work carefully avoided every thing like a too close adherence to his original design.
Line 8.—A banish’d man, &c.] Vide the noble Marquis’s celebrated speech, on the no less celebrated IRISH PROPOSITIONS.
Line 14.—And stammer’d out theFIRMAUN, &c.] When a language happens to be deficient in a word to express a particular idea, it has been ever customary to borrow one from some good-natured neighbour, who may happen to be more liberally furnished. Our Author, unfortunately, could find no nation nearer than TURKEY, that was able to supply him with an expression perfectly apposite to the sentiment intended to be here conveyed.
Line 25.—Not bare-breeche’dGRAHAM.] His Lordship some time since brought in a bill to relieve his countrymen from those habilliments which in ENGLAND are deemed a necessary appendage to decorum, but among our more northern brethren are considered as a degrading shackle upon natural liberty. Perhaps, as the noble Lord was then on the point of marriage, he might intend this offering of hisopima spolia, as an elegant compliment to HYMEN.
Line 51.—But ReverendJENKY.] Our Author here, in some measure deviating from his usual perspicuity, has left us in doubt whether the termReverendis applied to the years or to the profession of the gentleman intended to be complimented. His long experience in the secrets of the CRITICAL REVIEW, and BUCKINGHAM HOUSE, would well justify the former supposition; yet his early admission into DEACON’S ORDERS will equally support the latter: our readers therefore must decide, while we can only sincerely exult in his Majesty’s enjoyment of a man whose whole pious life has been spent in sustaining that beautiful and pathetic injunction of scripture, “SERVE GOD, AND HONOUR THE KING.”
Line 68.—And Bulls and Bears in mystic mazes dance.] The beautiful allusion here made to that glorious state of doubt and obscurity in which our youthful Minister’s measures have been invariably involved, with its consequent operation on the stockholders, is here most fortunately introduced.—What a striking contrast does Mr. PITT’s conduct, in this particular, form to that of the Duke of PORTLAND, Mr. Fox, and your otherplain matter of fact men!
Line 83.—Sooner shallROSEthanPRETTYMANlie faster.] This beautiful compliment to the happy art of embellishment, so wonderfully possessed by thispar nobile fratrum, merits our warmest applause; and the skill of our author no where appears more conspicious than in this line, where, in refusing to give to either the pre-eminence, he bestows thene plus ultraof excellence on both.
To theRIGHT HON. WILLIAM EDEN, ENVOY EXTRAORDINARYandMINISTER PLENIPOTENTIARYof Commercial Affairs at the Court ofVERSAILLES.
Of EDEN lost, in ancient days,If we believe what MOSES says,A paltry pippin was the price,One crab was bribe enough to enticeFrail human kind from Virtue’s ways.
But now, when PITT, the all-perfect, sways,No such vain lures the tempter lays,Too poor to be the purchase twice,Of EDEN lost.
The Dev’l grown wiser, to the gazeSix thousand pounds a year displays,And finds success from the device;Finds this fair fruit too well sufficeTo pay the peace, and honest praise,Of EDEN lost.
“A mere affair of trade to embrace,Wines, brandies, gloves, fans, cambricks, lace;For this on me my Sovereign laidHis high commands, and I obeyed;Nor think, my lord, this conduct base.
“Party were guilt in such a case,When thus my country, for a space,Calls my poor skill to DORSET’s aidA mere affair of trade!”
Thus EDEN, with unblushing face,To NORTH would palliate his disgrace;When NORTH, with smiles, this answer made:“You might have spared what you have said;I thought the business of your placeA mere affair of trade!”
Around the tree, so fair, so green,Erewhile, when summer shone serene,Lo! where the leaves in many a ring,Before the wint’ry tempest wing,Fly scattered o’er the dreary scene:
Such, NORTH, thy friends. Now cold and keenThy Winter blows; no shelt’ring skreenThey stretch, no graceful shade they flingAround the tree.
Yet grant, just Fate, each wretch so mean,Like EDEN, pining in his spleenFor posts, for stars, for strings, may swingOn two stout posts in hempen string!Few eyes would drop a tear, I ween,Around the tree.
“The JORDAN have you been to see?”Cried FOX, when late with shuffling plea,Poor EDEN stammer’d at excuse,But why the JORDAN introduce?What JORDAN too will here agree?
That JORDAN which from spot could freeOne man unclean here vain would be:If yet those powers of wond’rous useThe JORDAN have!
One fitter JORDAN of the threeWould I for EDEN’s meed decree;With me then open every sluice,And foaming high with streams profuse,For EDENS head may all with meThe JORDAN have!
For EDEN’s place, where circling roundEUPHRATES wash’d the hallow’d mound,The learned long in vain have sought;’Twas GREECE, ’twas POLAND, some have taught;Some hold it in the deluge drown’d:PITT thinks his search at PARIS crown’d;See the Gazette his proofs expound!Yet who of looking there had thoughtFor EDEN’s place!
No;—view yon frame with dirt embrown’d,Some six feet rais’d above the ground,Where rogues, exalted as they ought,To peep through three round holes are brought,There will the genuine spot be foundFor EDEN’s place!
On theIMMACULATE BOY
That Master PITT seemsTo be fond of extremes,No longer is thought any riddle;For sure we may say,’Tis as plain as the day,That he always kept clear of the middle.
’Tis true, indeed, we oft abuse him,Because he bends to no man;But Slander’s self dares not accuse himOf stiffness to a woman.
“No! no! for my virginity,When I lose that,” quoth PITT, “I’ll die;”Cries WILBERFORCE, “If not till then,By G—d you must outlive all men[1].”
Onfair and equalterms to placeAn union is thy care;But trust me, POWIS, in this caseTheequalshould not please his Grace,And PITT dislikes thefair.
The virulent fair,Protest and declare,This Ministry’s not to their hearts;For say what they will,To them Master BILLHas never discover’d his parts.
——Ex nihilo nil fit.
When PITT exclaim’d, “By measures I’ll be tried,”That false appeal all woman-kind denied.
Incautious Fox will oft reposeIn fair one’s bosom thoughts of worth;But PITT his secrets keeps so close,No female arts can draw them forth.
Had PITT to his advice inclined,SIR CECIL had undone us;But he, a friend to womankind,Would nothing lay upon us.ANCILLA.
OnMr. PITT’sPrudence.
Though PITT have to women told some things, no doubt;Yet his private affairs they have never found out.
Who dares assert that virtuous PITTPartakes in female pleasures;For know there ne’er was woman yetCould e’er endure half measures.
Puer loquitur.
Though big with mathematic pride,By me this axiom is denied;I can’t conceive, upon my soul,My parts are equal to thewhole.
[1] “No! no! for my virginity,When I lose that,” quoth PITT, “I’ll die;Behind the elms last night,” quoth DICK,“Rose, were you not extremely sick?” PRIOR.
[2] A coalition between the DUKE OF PORTLAND and Mr. PITT, was attempted to be formed by Mr. POWIS, and the other Country Gentlemen.—This endeavour, however, was defeated in consequence of Mr. PITT’s construction of the termsfair and equal.
Why, says an indignant poet, should Mr. ROLLE alone, of all the geniuses that distinguish the present period, be thought the only person of worth or talents enough to give birth and name to an immortal effusion of divine poesy? He questions not that great man’s pretensions; far from it; he reveres his ancestors, adores his talents, and feels something hardly short of idolatry towards his manners and accomplishments.—But still, why such profusion of distinction towards one, to the exclusion of many other high characters? Our Poet professes to feel this injustice extremely, and has made the following attempt to rescue one deserving man from so unmerited an obloquy. The reader will perceive the measure to be an imitation of that which has been so deservedly admired in our immortal bard, in his play of “As You Like It.”
From the East to the Western IndeNo Jewel is like Rosalind;Her worth being mounted on the wind,Thro’ all the world bears Rosalind, &c. &c.
This kind of verse is adopted by the poet to avoid any appearance of too servile an imitation of the ROLLIAD. He begins,
Ye patriots all, both great and small,Resign the palm to DELAVAL;The virtues would’st thou practise all,So in a month did DELAVAL.Apatriotfirst both stout and tall,Firm for the day was DELAVAL.The friend to court, where frowns appal,The next became good DELAVAL.—Wilt thou against oppression bawl?Just so did valiant DELAVAL!Yet in a month, thyself enthral,So did the yielding DELAVAL:Yet give to both, a dangerous fall,So did reflecting DELAVAL.If resignation’s good in all,Why so it is in DELAVAL:For if you p—- against a wall,Just so you may ’gainst DELAVAL:And if with foot you kick a ball,E’en so you may—a DELAVAL.’Gainstinfluencewould’st thou vent thy gall,Thus did the patriot DELAVAL:Yet servile stoop to Royal call,So did the loyal DELAVAL.What friend to Freedom’s fair-built Hall,Was louder heard than DELAVAL?Yet who theCommonsrights to maul,More stout was found than DELAVAL?—’Gainst Lords and Lordlings would’st thou brawl,Just so did he—SIR DELAVAL:Yet on thy knees, to honours crawl,Oh! so did he—LORD DELAVAL.An evil sprite possessed SAUL,And so it once did DELAVAL.Music did soon the sense recal,Of ISRAEL’s King, and DELAVAL,SAUL rose at DAVID’s vile cat-call.—Not so the wiser DELAVAL:’Twas money’s sweetestsol, la fal,That chear’d the sense of DELAVAL—When royal power shall instal,With honours new LORD DELAVAL;Who won’t say—themiraculoushawlIs caught by faithful DELAVAL?’Gainst rapine would’st thou preach like Paul,Thus did religious DELAVAL:Yet screen the scourges of Bengal,Thus did benignant DELAVAL.To future times recorded shallBe all the worths of DELAVAL:E’en OSSIAN, or the great FINGAL,Shall yield the wreath to DELAVAL.From Prince’s court to cobler’s stall,Shall sound the name of DELAVAL:For neither sceptre nor the awl,Are strong and keen as DELAVAL.—Some better praise, than this poor scrawl,Shall sing the fame of DELAVAL:For sure no song can ever pall,That celebrates great DELAVAL:Borne on all fours, the fame shall sprawl.To latest time—of DELAVAL:Then come, ye Nine, in one great squall,Proclaim the worths of DELAVAL.
[The annotations of the learned are expected.]
Lord NUGENT.—This is the RAT, that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that George built.
Mr. FOX.—This is the CAT, that killed the Rat, that eat theMalt, that lay in the House that George built.
PEPPER ARDEN.—This is the DOG, that barked at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that George built.
Lord THURLOW.—This is the BULL with the crumpled horn, that roared with the Dog, that barked at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that George built.
Mr. PITT.—This is the MAIDEN[2] all forlorn, that coaxed the Bull with the crumpled horn, that roared with the Dog, that barked at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that George built.
Mr. DUNDAS.—This is the SCOT by all forsworn, that wedded[3] the Maiden all forlorn, that coaxed the Bull with the crumpled horn, that roared with the Dog, that barked at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that George built.
Mr. WILKES.—This is the PATRIOT covered with scorn, that flattered the Scot by all forsworn, that wedded the Maiden all forlorn, that coaxed the Bull with the crumpled horn, that roared with the Dog, that barked at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that George built.
CONSCIENCE.—This is the COCK that crowed in the morn, that waked the Patriot covered with scorn, that flattered the Scot by all forsworn, that wedded the Maiden all forlorn, that coaxed the Bull with the crumpled horn, that roared with the Dog, that barked at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that George built.
[1] George Nugent Grenville, Marquis of Buckingham.
[2] The immaculate continence of the BRITISH SCIPIO, so strongly insisted on by his friends, as constituting one of the most shining ingredients of his own uncommon character, is only alluded to here as a received fact, and not by any means as a reproach.
[3]Wedded. This Gentleman’s own term for a Coalition.