Whereas by public orders from this office, all GENTLEMEN RUNNERS and SCRIBBLERS, PUNNERS and QUIBBLERS, PUFFERS, PLAISTERERS, DAUBERS and SPATTERERS, in our pay, and under our direction, were required, for reasons therein specified, to be particularly diligent in defending and enforcing the projected DUTY ON COALS.
AND WHEREAS the virtuous and illustrious CHANCELLOR OR THE EXCHEQUER, patriotically resolving to prefer the private interests of his friends to the public distress of his enemies; and prudently preferring the friendship of Lord LONSDALE to the satisfaction of ruining the manufactures of IRELAND, has accordingly signified in the HOUSE OF COMMONS, that he intends to propose some other tax as a substitute for the said duty.
THIS IS TO GIVE NOTICE to all Gentlemen Runners, and Scribblers, as aforesaid, that they hold themselves ready to furnish, agreeably to our future orders, a sufficient number of panegyrical paragraphs, properly ornamented withItalicsand CAPITALS, notes of interrogation, and notes of admiration, apostrophe’s and exclamations, in support of any tax whatever, which the young Minister in his wisdom may think proper to substitute. AND in the mean time that they fail not to urge the public spirit and zeal for the national welfare, humanity to the poor, and regard for the prosperity of our manufacturers, which considerations ALONE induced the Minister to abandon his original purpose of taxing coals: AND that they expatiate on the wise exemptions and regulations which the Minister would certainly have introduced into his bill for enacting the said tax, but that (as he declared in the House of Commons) unfortunately for the finances of this country, he had not time in the present Session of Parliament to devise such exemptions and regulations: AND FINALLY, that they boldly assert the said tax to have been GOOD, POLITIC, JUST, and EQUITABLE; but that the new tax, which is to be substituted in place of it, will necessarily be BETTER, MORE POLITIC, MORE JUST, and MORE EQUITABLE.
MAC-OSSIAN,Superintendent-general of the Press.
SIGNOR PINETTI the Conjuror, and Mr. PITT the Premier, have a wonderful similitude in the principal transactions and events by which they are distinguished.
PINETTI, in defiance of Mr. COLMAN, took possession of his property in the HAYMARKET THEATRE, and by the help of a little agency behind the scenes, played several tricks, and became popular!
Mr. PITT in like manner seized upon another THEATRE-ROYAL, in the absence of the rightful possessor, the Duke of PORTLAND. He had not, it is true, the permission of a LORD CHAMBERLAIN as PINETTI had; but the countenance of a LORD OF THE BEDCHAMBER was deemed equivalent. Here he exhibited several surprising tricks and deceptions: we will say nothing of the agency, but all present appeared delighted. PINETTI also exhibited in the presence of Royalty, and with equal success, as the sign manual he boasts of will testify.
PINETTI cuts a lemon in two, and shews a KNAVE OF DIAMONDS—Mr. PITT in like manner can divide the HOUSE OF COMMONS, which for its acidity may be called the political lemon. He cannot at present shew a KNAVE OF DIAMONDS; but what may he not do when Mr. HASTINGS arrives?[1]
PINETTI takes a number of rings, he fastens them together, and produces a CHAIN.—Does any person dispute Mr. PITT’s ability to construct a CHAIN?
PINETTI has a SYMPATHETIC LIGHT, which he extinguishes at command—Mr.PITT’s method of leaving us in the dark is by BLOCKING UP our WINDOWS!
PINETTI takes money out of one’s pocket in defiance of all the caution that can be used—Mr. PITT does the same, without returning it.—In this the Minister differs from the Conjuror!
PINETTI attempted to strip off an Englishman’s shirt; if he had succeeded, he would have retained his popularity.—Mr. PITT attempted this trick, and has carried his point.
PINETTI has a bird which sings exactly any tune put before it.—Mr.PITT has upwards of TWO HUNDRED birds of this description.—N.B.PEARSON says they are a pack of CHATTERING MAGPIES.
[1] The Editor feels it necessary to declare, in justice to Mr. HASTINGS’s character, that the charges since preferred by the HOUSE OF COMMONS, and MAJOR SCOTT’shonour as a Gentleman, have amply disproved all parts of this comparison.
COMMUTATION TAX.—An Act for rendering houses more chearful, healthy, comfortable, and commodious.
PAPER DITTO.—An Act for the encouragement of authors, the promotion of learning, and extending the liberty of the press.
POSTAGE DITTO.—An Act for expediting business, increasing social intercourse, and facilitating the epistolary correspondence of friends.
DISTILLERY DITTO.—An Act for making the landlords responsible to government for the obedience of their own and their neighbours tenantry.
CANDLE DITTO.—An Act for the benevolent purpose of putting the blind on a level with their fellow-creatures.
EXCISE GOODS DITTO.—An Act for lessening the burthen of the subject by an increase of the collection.
SOAP DITTO.—An Act for suppressing the effeminacy of Englishmen, by disappointing them of clean linen.
SMUGGLING DITTO.—An Act for demonstrating the arbitrary spirit of this free government, in whatever clashes with the interests of the Treasury.
GAME DITTO.—An Act for making the many responsible, for a monopoly of every thing nice and delicate, to the palates of the few.
HORSE DITTO.—An Act for reducing the farmers to the wholesome exercise of walking, while their servants enfeeble themselves with riding.
At the last grand FETE given by Mr. JENKINSON to his friends in Administration, it was proposed, that as WILBERFORCE had sprained his leg at the last game at LEAPFROG, and PRATT had grown too fat for their old favourite sport of HIDE-AND-SEEK, some new diversion should be instituted.—Varioussuccedaneawere suggested, such as CHUCK-FARTHING, MARBLES, &c. but at last the general voice determined in favour of the DRAMA.—After some little altercation as to what particular dramatic production to select, the comic opera of TOM JONES was performed, and the arrangement of characters was disposed of as follows:
The parts of ALLWORTHY, TOM JONES, and SOPHIA, were subjects of long and difficult discussion; but at length Mr. DUNDAS put an end to the altercation, by assuring the company that he was willing and able to act ANY part, and would be glad, though at so short a notice, to attempt that of ALLWORTHY. The same offer was handsomely made by Lord DENBIGH for that of TOM JONES, and the character of SOPHIA was at last allotted to VILLIERS.
Poet to town, my friend ANSTY, or if you refuseA visit in person, yet spare us your muse:Give her wing, ere too late for this city’s election,Where much waits her comment, and more her correction.What novels to laugh at! what follies to chide!Oh! how we all long for a WESTMINSTER Guide!First, in judgment decisive, as OTTOMAN Califf,Aloft on the hustings, behold the HIGH BAILIFF!But we miss from the seat, where law rests on a word,The old symbols of justice—the scales and the sword—As a symbol too martial the sword he discards,So ’tis lodg’d where it suits—in the hands of the guards;And doubting the poise of weak hands like his own,He suspended the scales at the foot of the throne.——
Turn next to the candidates—at such a crisis—We’ve a right to observe on their virtues or vices.Hood founds (and with justice to most apprehensions)In years of fair services, manly pretensions;But his party to change, and his friend to betray,By some are held better pretensions in WRAY.
For the third, if at Court we his character scan,A dæmon incarnate is poor CARLO KHAN;Catch his name when afloat on convivial bumpers,Or sent up to the skies by processions of plumpers;He is Freedom’s defender, the champion of Right,The Man of the People, the nation’s delight.To party or passion we scorn to appeal,Nor want we the help of intemperate zeal;Let Time from Detraction have rescued his cause,And our verse shall but echo a nation’s applause.
But hark! proclamation and silence intreated;The inspectors arranged—the polling clerks seated—With Bibles in hand, to purge willing and loth,With the Catholic Test, and the Bribery Oath.In clamour and tumult mobs thicken around,And for one voice to vote there are ten to confound:St. GILES’s with WAPPING unites Garretteers,HOOD and WRAY and PREROGATIVE, PITT and three cheers!’Tis the day for the Court—the grand Treasury push!And the pack of that kennel well trained to thebrush,Dash noisy and fearless through thick and through thin,The huntsman unseen, but his friends whippers-in.
Now follow fresh tribes, scarce a man worth a louse,Till put into plight at NORTHUMBERLAND HOUSE;Ten poll for one mansion, each proving he keeps it,And one for each chimney—he’ll prove that he sweeps it—With these mix the great, on rights equally fables,Great Peers from poor lodgings, great Lawyers from stables;Ev’n the Soldier, whose household’s a centinel box.Claims a questionless franchise ’gainst Freedom and FOX;All dubbed and maintained upon influence regalOf the new H——E of C———S constituents legal.
What troops too of females ’mong’st CHARLES’s opposers?Old tabbies and gossips, scolds, gigglers, and sprosers!And Lady LACKPENSION, and Dowager THRIFTY,And many a maiden the wrong side of fifty;And FUBZY, with flesh and with flabbiness laden(And in all things indeed the reverse of a maiden),And hags after hags join the barbarous din,More hateful than serpents, more ugly than SIN.
Thus [1] the Bacchanal tribes when they ORPHEUS assailed,Drowned his notes with their yells ere their vengeance prevailed,Well knowing the sound of his voice or his lyre,Had charms to allay diabolical ire.Our Bacchanals find a more difficult foe;For what strains can inchant, though from ORPHEUS they flow,Like the orator’s spell o’er the patriot mind,When pleading to reason the cause of mankind?
Now for councils more secret that govern the plan—A Calif is nothing without aDIVAN.With invisible step let us steal on the quorum,Where MAINWARING sits in the Chair of Decorum.And WILMOT harangues to the brethren elect,[2]On his master’s commands—“Carry law to effect.”“The true reading, my friends, in thejus bacculinum,When the FOXITES are drubbed, then imprison or fine ’em;And let him who would construe th’ effective still further,Knock out a friend’s brains to accuse them of murder.I have ready some hundreds of resolute knaves,With bludgeons well shaped into Constables’ staves,In WESTMINSTER strangers—true creatures of power,Like the lions—ferociously nursed at the Tower[3].Do we want more support?—Mark! that band of red coats! }Whose first service over, of giving their votes, }Why not try for a second—the cutting of throats! }From the SAVOY they march—their mercy all lie at,When the Bench gives the call, and St. J———s’s thefiat.”Thus the law of effect the wise justice expounds,This is WILMOT’s abridgment compris’d in twelve rounds;The new MIDDLESEX CODE—which treats subjects like partridge,While the Statutes at large are cut up into cartridge.
Enough of these horrors—a milder design,Though not a more lawful one, CORBET, is thine!The polling to close, but decision adjourn,And in scrutiny endless to sink the return.Thy employers who ranged on the Treasury Bench,For prerogative fight, or behind it intrench,Shall boldly stand forth in support of the act,Which they mean to restrain by law after the fact.With quibble and puzzle that reason disgrace.Or with impudent paradox put in its place,They shall hold,that an indigent party’s defence,When at war with the Treasury, lies in expence;[4] That the part of the vexed is to cherish vexation,And strain it throughDRIPSTONESof procrastination—These positions you’ll say are indeed hypothetic—At Court they’ll be Gospel—the muse is prophetic.
End of the First Part.
[1] Note.]Thus the Bacchanal tribes, &c.
Cunctaque tela forent cantu mollita: sed ingensClamor, et inflatâ Berecynthia tibia cornu,Tympanaque, Plaususque, et Bacchei ululatusObstrepuere sono Citheræ. Tum denique SaxaNon exauditi rubuerunt Sanguine Vatis.OVID.
[2] See the letter of the Lord Lieutenant of M———x, May 8th.
[3] These strange Constables were avowedly brought from the Tower Hamlets.
[4] See the speech of a young orator in a late debate.
To thy candour now, HAYLEY, I offer the line,Which after thy model I fain would refine.Thy skill, in each trial of melody sweeter,Can to elegant themes adapt frolicksome metre;And at will, with a comic or tender controul,Now speak to the humour, and now to the soul.We’ll turn from the objects of satire and spleen,That late, uncontrasted; disfigured the scene;To WRAY leave the rage the defeated attends,And the conqueror hail in the arms of his friends;Count with emulous zeal the selected and true,Enroll in the list, and the triumph pursue.These are friendships that bloomed in the morning of life,Those were grafted on thorns midst political strife;Alike they matured from the stem, or the flower,Unblighted by int’rest, unshaken by power.Bright band! to whose feelings in constancy tried,Disfavour is glory, oppression is pride;Attached to his fortunes, and fond of his fame,Vicissitudes pass but to shew you the same.
But whence this fidelity, new to the age?Can parts, though sublime, such attachments engage?No: the dazzle of parts may the passions allure,’Tis the heart of the friend makes affections endure.The heart that intent on all worth but its own,Assists every talent, and arrogates none;The feeble protects, as it honours the brave,Expands to the just, and hates only the knave.
These are honours, my FOX, that are due to thy deeds;But lo! yet a brighter alliance succeeds;The alliance of beauty in lustre of youth,That shines on thy cause with the radiance of truth.The conviction they feel the fair zealots impart,And the eloquent eye sends it home to the heart.Each glance has the touch of Ithuriel’s spear,That no art can withstand, no delusion can bear,And the effort of malice and lie of the day,Detected and scorn’d, break like vapour away.
Avaunt, ye profane! the fair pageantry moves:An entry of VENUS, led on by the loves!Behold how the urchins round DEVONSHIRE press!For order, submissive, her eyes they address:She assumes her command with a diffident smile,And leads, thus attended, the pride of the Isle.
Oh! now for the pencil of GUIDO! to trace,Of KEPPEL the features, of WALDEGRAVES the grace;Of FITZROY the bloom the May morning to vie,Of SEFTON the air, of DUNCANNON the eye;Of LOFTUS the smiles (though with preference proud,She gives ten to her husband, for one to the croud),Of PORTLAND the manner, that steals on the breast,But is too much her own to be caught or express’d;The charms that with sentiment BOUVERIE blends,The fairest of forms and the truest of friends;The look that in WARBURTON, humble and chaste,Speaks candour and truth, and discretion and taste;Or with equal expression in HORTON combined,Vivacity’s dimples with reason refined.
REYNOLDS, haste to my aid, for a figure divine,Where the pencil of GUIDO has yielded to thine;Bear witness the canvas where SHERIDAN lives,And with angels, the lovely competitor, strives——While Earth claims her beauty and Heaven her strain,Be it mine to adore ev’ry link of the chain!
But new claimants appear ere the lyre is unstrung,Can PAYNE be passed by? Shall not MILNER be sung?See DELME and HOWARD, a favourite pair,For grace of both classes, the zealous and fair——A verse for MORANT, like her wit may it please,Another for BRADDYLL of elegant ease,For BAMFYLDE a simile worthy her frame——Quick, quick—I have yet half a hundred to name——Not PARNASSUS in concert could answer the call,Nor multiplied muses do justice to all.
Then follow the throng where with festal delight,More pleasing than HEBE, CREWE opens the night.Not the goblet nectareous of welcome and joy,That DIDO prepared for the hero of TROY;Not Fiction, describing the banquets above,Where goddesses mix at the table of JOVE;Could afford to the soul more ambrosial cheerThan attends on the fairer associates here.But CREWE, with a mortal’s distinction content,Bounds her claim to the rites of this happy event;For the hero to twine civic garlands of fame,With the laurel and rose interweaving his name,And while Iö Pæans his merits avow,As the Queen of the feast, place the wreath on his brow.
For theDUKE OF RICHMOND’s Bust to the Memory of the lateMARQUIS OF ROCKINGHAM.
Hail, marble! happy in a double end!Raised to departed principles and friend:The friend once gone, no principles would stay:For very grief, they wept themselves away!Let no harsh censure such conjunction blame,Since join’d in life, their fates should be the same.Therefore from death they feel a common sting,And HEAV’N receives the one, and one the K—G.
Reason for Mr.FOX’s avowed contempt of onePIGOT’s Address to him.
Who shall expect the country’s friend,The darling of the House,Should for a moment condescendTo crack a [1]PRISON LOUSE.
On onePIGOT’s being called aLOUSE.
PIGOT is aLouse, they say,But if you kick him, you willsee,’Tis by much the truest way,To represent him as a FLEA.
For servile meanness to the great,Let none hold PIGOT Cheap;Who can resist his destined fate?A LOUSE must always CREEP.
PIGOT is sure a most courageous man,“A word and blow” for ever is his plan;And thus his friends explain the curious matter,He gives the first, and then receives the latter.
[1] The substantive in the marked part of this line has been long an established SYNONYME for Mr. PIGOT, and the PREDICATE, we are assured, is not at this time less just.
To the Tune ofALLY CROAKER.
I.There lived a man at BECKHAM, in KENT, Sir,Who wanted a place to make him content, Sir;Long had he sigh’d for BILLY PITT’s protection,When thus he gently courted his affection:Will you give a place, my dearest BILLY PITTO!If I can’t have a whole one, oh! give a little bitO!
II.He pimp’d with GEORGE ROSE, he lied with the DOCTOR,He flatter’d Mrs. HASTINGS ’till almost he had shock’d her;He got the ARCHBISHOP to write in his favour,And when BILLY gets a beard, he swears he’ll be his shaver.Then give him a place, oh! dearest BILLY PITTO!If he can’t have a whole one, oh! give a little bitO!
III.To all you young men, who are famous for changing,From party to party continually ranging,I tell you the place of all places to breed in,For maggots of corruption’s the heart of BILLY EDEN.Then give him a place, oh! dearest BILLY PITTO!If he can’t have a whole one, oh! give a little bitO!
On SirELIJAH IMPEYrefusing to resign his Gown asCHIEF JUSTICE OF BENGAL.
Of yore, ELIJAH, it is stated,By angels when to Heav’n translated,Before the saint aloft would ride,His prophet’s robe he cast aside;Thinking the load might sorely gravelHis porters on so long a travel;But our ELIJAH somewhat doubting,To him SAINT PETER may prove flouting,And wisely of his mantle thinking,That its furr’d weight may aid his sinking,Scornful defies his namesake’s joke,And swears by G—d he’ll keep his cloak.
By Mr. WILBERFORCE.
On reading Mr.ROSE’s Pamphlet on theIRISH PROPOSITIONS.
Uncramp’d yourself by grammar’s rules,You hate the jargon of the schools,And think it most extremely silly;But reading your unfetter’d prose,I wish the too-licentious ROSEWas temper’d by the chaster LILLY[1].
[1] A famous grammarian, well known for his excellent rules, and still more for the happy classical quotations he has furnished to Sir GEORGE HOWARD, and others of the more learned Ministerial speakers.
Whereas it hath been made known to us, from divers good and respectable quarters, in several parts of the empire, that a practice of great and salutary consequences to the health, wealth, and good order of our subjects; to wit, that of TEA-DRINKING, has of late years been very much discontinued: AND WHEREAS it is a true and admitted principle in all free governments, that the efficient Minister is the best and only judge of what suits the constitution, pleases the appetite, or is adapted to the wants of the subject. NOW IT IS HEREBY ORDERED, and strictly ordained, by and with the advice of the PRIVY COUNCIL, that all his Majesty’s liege subjects, of all ranks, descriptions, or denominations whatever, be henceforward, and from the date hereof, required and enjoined, under the penalty of apremunire, to drink, swill, and make away with a certain quantity of the said nostrum and salutary decoction in the course of each natural day, in the order and proportion as directed and ascertained in the list or schedule herein after following,viz.
I. To every DUKE, MARQUIS, EARL, VISCOUNT, and BARON, within his Majesty’s kingdom of GREAT BRITAIN, one pound per day.—If GREEN be too strong for their nerves, they may use SOUCHONG.—The method of making it, that is to say, strong, weak, and so on, is left to the noble personages themselves.
II. To every IRISH ditto, two pound per ditto.—This will be no inconvenience, as smuggled claret will not be in future to be had.
III. DUCHESSES, DUCHESS DOWAGERS, COUNTESSES, and BARONESSES, one pound per ditto.—As this regulation is not intended to hurt his Majesty’s Customs, a mixture of LIQUEURS will be permitted as usual.
IV. MAIDS OF HONOUR, CHAPLAINS, the MEMBERS of the CLUB AT WHITE’s, and other young gentlemen of that RANK and DESCRIPTION (being pretty nearly the usual quantity), two pound per ditto.
V. To COUNTRY ’SQUIRES, FOX-HUNTERS, &c. as a most agreeable substitute for STINGO and OCTOBER, three pound per ditto.
VI. To DRAYMEN, CHAIRMEN, and BARGEMEN, instead of PORTER, two pound per ditto.
VII. To the Commonalty of this Realm, to drink with their victuals and otherwise, at one pound for each person per ditto.
And IT IS FURTHER ORDERED, that no excuse or plea whatever shall be deemed valid, for the non-compliance with the above regulations; AND that whoever shall pretend, that the said wholesome and benign decoction, either does not agree with him, or is more expensive than his finances or state of life will permit, shall be only considered as aggravating the offence of disobedience, by a contumacious doubt of the better knowledge of his superiors, and a ridiculous endeavour to seem to be better acquainted with his own constitution and circumstances, than the efficient Minister of the country.
GIVENat our Palace inDOWNING-STREET,this 24th Day of June, 1784.
Many doubts having arisen, principally among the gentlemen who belong to the same profession with the Master of the Rolls, whether that distinguished character hasreallysent a draft to the HIGH BAILIFF of WESTMINSTER, for the expences of a late trial and verdict in the Common Pleas; and although the fact is not exactly as it has been represented, yet the following authentic letter will sufficiently evince the generous intentions of Sir LL——D, as soon as he becomes rich enough for him to answer so heavy a demand. At present, all who know the very circumscribed state of his income, compared with the liberality of his expenditure—who consider the extent of those different establishments, which he feels it necessary to keep up by way of preserving the dignity of his high office—his wardrobe and table for instance—will acknowledge the plea of poverty to be justly urged.
ToTHOMAS CORBETT,Esq. Chancery-Lane.
My dear and faithful friend, Tho. Corbett,
“I anticipate your application to me, for the expences of defending yourself against the action brought by that fellow, FOX. If eternally damning the jury would pay the verdict, I would not scruple to assist you to the utmost of my abilities.—Though THURLOW is against us upon this point, and to swear with him, you know, would be just as vain a thing as to swear with the Devil; but, my friend, the long and the short of this matter is, that I amwretched poor—wretchedly so, I do assure you, in every sense and signification of the word. I have long borne the profitless incumbrance of nominal and ideal wealth. My income has been cruelly estimated at seven, or, as some will have it, eight thousand pounds per annum. The profession of which I am a Member, my dear THOMAS, has taught me to value facts infinitely more than either words or reasons. I shall save myself, therefore, the mortification of denying that I am rich, and refer you to the constant habits, and whole tenor of my life. The proof to my friends is easy—Of the economy which I am obliged to observe in one very necessary article, my taylor’s bill for these last fifteen years, is a record of the most indisputable authority. There are malicious souls, who may object to this, as by no means the best evidence of the state of my wardrobe; they will direct you, perhaps, to Lord STORMONT’s Valet de Chambre, and accompany the hint with an anecdote, that on the day when I kissed hands for my appointment to the office of Attorney-General, I appeared in a laced waistcoat that once belonged to his master. The topic is invidious, and I disdain to enter into it.—Iboughtthe waistcoat, but despise the insinuation—nor is this the only instance in which I am obliged to diminish my wants, and apportion them to my very limited means. Lady K. will be my witness, that until my last appointment, I was an utter stranger to the luxury of a pocket handkerchief.
“If you wish to know how I live, come and satisfy yourself—I shall dine at home this day three months, and if you are not engaged, and breakfast late, shall be heartily glad of your company; but in truth, my butler’s place is become an absolute sinecure—early habits of sobriety, and self-denial, my friend, have made me what I am—have deceived the approach of age, and enabled me to support the laborious duties, and hard vicissitudes of my station.
“Besides, my dear BAILIFF, there are many persons to whom your application would be made with infinitely more propriety than to me. The nature of PEPPER ARDEN is mild, gentle, accommodating to the extreme, and I will venture to engage that he would by no means refuse a reasonable contribution. MACDONALD is, among those who know him, a very proverb for generosity; and will certainly stand by you, together with DUNDAS and the LORD ADVOCATE, if there be fidelity in Scotchmen. BEARCROFT too will open his purse to you with the same blind and improvident magnanimity with which he risqued his opinion in your favour: besides, you are sure of PITT.—A real zeal for your welfare, a most disinterested friendship, and some consciousness that I have materially helped to involve you; and, believe me, not the sordid motive of shifting either the blame, or the expence upon the shoulders of others, have made me thus eagerly endeavour to put you in the way of consulting your best friends in this very critical emergency.
“As to myself, you are possessed already of the circumstances which render any immediate assistance on my part wholly out of the question. Except half a dozen pair of black plush breeches, which I have but this instant received, I can offer you nothing. My superfluities extend no further. But better times may soon arrive, and I will not fail you then. The present Chief Justice of the King’s Bench cannot long retain his situation; and as you are one whom I have selected from among many to be the friend of my bosom, I will now reveal to you a great secret in the last arrangement of judicial offices. Know then, that Sir ELIJAH IMPEY is the man fixed upon to preside in the chief seat of criminal and civil jurisprudence of this country. I am to succeed him in BENGAL; and then, my dear THOMAS, we may set the malice of juries at defiance. If they had given FOX as many diamonds by their verdict as they have pounds, rest assured that I am not a person likely to fail you, after I shall have been there a little while, either through want of faith, or want of means. Set your mind, therefore, at ease; as to the money—why, if PITT is determined to have nothing to do with it, and if nobody else will pay it, I think the most adviseable thing, in your circumstances, will be to pay it yourself. Not that you are to be ultimately at the expence of a single shilling. The contents of this letter will fully prove that I mean to reimburse you what I am able. For the present, nobody knows better than yourself, not even Lady K——, how ill matters stand with me, and that I find it utterly impossible to obey the dictates of my feelings.
“I am, my dear HIGH BAILIFF,Your very affectionate friend,And humble servant,L.K.”“Lincoln’s-inn-fields,June 20, 1786.”
ADDRESSED TO THE RIGHT HON. CHARLES JENKINSON, on his being created LORD HAWKESBURY.
Quem vimm aut heroa lyra vel acriTibia sumes celebrare, Clio?Quem Deum? Cujus recinet jocosaNomen imago? HOR.
JENKY, for you I’ll wake the lyre,Tho’ not with Laureat WARTONS fire,Your hard-won meed to grace:Gay was your air, your visage blythe,Unless when FOX has made you writhe,With tortur’d MARSYAS’ face.
No more you’ll dread such pointed sneer,But safely skulk amidst your Peers,And slavish doctrines spread;As some ill-omen’d baneful yewThat sheds around a poisonous dew,And shakes its rueful head.
Your frozen heart ne’er learn’d to glowAt other’s good, nor melt at woe;Your very roof is chilling:There Bounty never spreads her ray;You e’en shut out the light of day[1],To save a paltry shilling,
A Prince, by servile knaves addrest,Ne’er takes a DEMPSTER to his breast,JACK ROB’SON serves his ends;Unrivall’d stood the treach’rous name,Till envious EDEN urg’d his claim,While both betray their friends.
On whom devolves your back-stairs cloak,When, prophet-like, “you mount as smoke[2]?”Must little POWNEY catch it?But as ’tis rather worse for wear,Let mighty BUCKS take special careTo brush it well and patch it.
While o’er his loyal breast so true,Great G—— expands the riband blue,There—Honour’s star will shine:As RAWDON was bold RICHMOND’s Squire,To install a Knight so full of fire—Let ASTON, BUCKS, be thine.
JENKY, pursue Ambition’s task,The King will give whate’er you ask,Nor heed the frowns of PITT;Tho’ proud, he’ll truckle to disgrace,By feudal meanness keep his place[3],And turn the royal spit.
With saintly HILL divide your glory[4],No true King’s friend, on such a ToryThe peerage door will shut;Canting, he’ll serve both Church and Throne,And make the Reverend Bench your own,By piety and smut.
BANKS at his side, demure and sly,Will aptly tell a specious lye,Then speed the royal summons:He’s no raw novice in the trade,His honour’s now a batter’d jade—PITT flung it to the Commons.
While THURLOW damns these cold delays,Mysterious diamonds vainly blaze,The impending vote to check;K.B. and Peer, let HASTINGS shine,IMPEY, with pride, will closely twineThe collar round his neck.
Ennobling thus the mean and base,Our gracious S————’s art we trace,Assail’d by factions bold;So prest, great FREDERICK rose in fame,Onpots de chambrestamp’d his name[5],And pewter pass’d for gold.
Should restive SYDNEY keep the seal,JENKY, still shewofficialzeal,Your friend, your master, charm;Revive an ANGLO-SAXON place[6],Let GEORGE’s feet your bosom grace,Your love will keep them warm.
[1] Mr. JENKINSON exhibited a laudable example of political œconomy, by shutting up several of his windows at his seat near Croydon, on the passing of the Commutation Act. His Majesty’sbon moton this occasion should not be forgot. “What! what! (said the Royal Jester) do my subjects complain of?—JENKY tells me he does not pay as much to the Window Tax as he did before. Why then don’t my people do like JENKY?”
[2] A beautiful oriental allusion, borrowed from Mr. HASTINGS’s Ode,“And care,like smoke, in turbid wreathes,Round the gay ceiling flies.”
[3] FINCHFIELD.—Co. ESSEX.——JOHN CAMPES held this manor of King EDWARD III. by the service ofturning the spitat his coronation.Camden’s Britannia—article Essex.
[4] The King magnanimously refused to create either Sir RICHARD HILL, or Mr. BANKS, Peers, that the singular honour bestowedsolelyby his Majesty might be more conspicuous, and that Mr. PITT’s humiliation might no longer be problematic. Sir RICHARD had composed a beautiful sacred cantata on the occasion, dedicated to his brother, the Rev. ROWLAND HILL. The first stanza alludes, by an apt quotation from the 68th Psalm, to the elevation and dignities of the family: “Why hop so high, ye little H_I_LLS?” With joy, the Lord’s anointed f_i_lls; Let’s pray with one accord! In sleepless visions of the night, NORTH’s cheek I smote with all my might, For which I’m made a Lord, &c. &c.
[5] The King of PRUSSIA replenished his exhausted treasury in the war of 1756, by a coinage of pewter ducats.
[6] “Besides the twenty-four officer above described, there were eleven others of considerable value in the courts of the ancient Princes, the most remarkable of which was, that of the King’s feet-bearer; this was a young gentleman, whose duty it was to sit on the floor, with his back towards the fire, and hold the King’s feet in his bosom all the time he sat at table, to keep them warm and comfortable.”Leges Wallicæ, p.58.—Henry’s History of Great Britain, v.2,p.275
ODEtoSIR ELIJAH IMPEY.
Æli, vetusto nobilis a Lamo,Quando et priores hinc Lamia feruntDenominatos, &c.
ELI-JAH noblest of the raceOf [1]IMPS, from whom the IMPEYS trace,If common fame says true,Their origin; and that they foundTheir claim on just and solid ground,Refer forproofto you—
You, who could post nine hundred miles,To fathom an old woman’s wiles,Possess’d ofdangeroustreasure;Could hurry with a pedlar’s packOf affidavits at your back,In quest of health and pleasure.
And all because the jealous JOVE[2]Of Eastern climes thought fit to proveThevenomof his reign;On which, to minds of light esteem,Some few severitiesmight seemTo leave a transient stain.
Soon [3] on your head from yon dark sky,Or WOODFALL’s Hasty Sketcheslye,The gather’d storm will break!Deep will the vengeful thunder be,And from the sleep he owes to thee,Shall NUNDCOMAR awake!
Then arm against the rude attack,Recall thy roving memory back,And all thy proofs collect!—Remember that you cannot gainA second hearing toexplain,And [4]thereforebe correct.
[1] MILTON makes honourable mention of the founder of the family:“Fit vessel, fittestImpof Fraud.”Paradise Lost, b.IX.
It may be observed, in proof of the descent, as well as to the credit of the present Representative, that he has not degenerated from the characteristic “obliquity” of his Ancestor.
[2] Late Tyrannus.
[3] Demissa tempestas ab Euro Sternet—Nisi fallit Augur Anosa Cornix.
[4] See Declaration of Sir E—— I——, offered to the House by Mt. DEMPSTER.
To the Tune of“LET THE SULTAN SALADIN,”inRICHARD CŒUR DE LION.
I.Let great GEORGE his porkers bilk,And give his maids the sour skim-milk;With her stores let CERES crown him,’Till the gracious sweat run down him,Making butter night and day:Well! well!Every King must have his way;But to my poor way of thinking,True joy is drinking.
II.BILLY PITT delights to prose,’Till admiring Grocers dose;Ancient Virgins all adore him,Not a woman falls before him;Never kissing night nor day:Well! well!Every child must have its way;But to my poor way of thinking,True joy is drinking.
III.You too, HASTINGS, know your trade!No vile fears your heart invade,When you rove for EASTERN plunder,Making Monarchs truckle under,Slitting windpipes night and day:Well! well!Governors will have their way;But to my poor way of thinking,True joy is drinking.
To the Turn of“A COBLER THERE WAS,” &c.
Ye boobies of Britain, who lately thought fitThe care of the state to a child to commit,Pray how do you like your young Minister’s budget?Should he take your last farthing, you never can grudge it.Deny down, &c
A tax on your heads! there’d be justice in that;But he only proposes a tax on your hat;So let every ENGLISHMAN throw up his beaver,And hollo. Prerogative BILLY for ever!Deny down, &c
Not being much favour’d with female applauses,He takes his revenge on their ribands and gauzes;Then should not each female, Wife, Widow, or Miss,To Coventry send master BILLY for this?Deny down, &c
How oft has he told us his views were upright!That his actions would all bear the test of the light!Yet he sure in the dark must have something to do,Who shuts out both day-light and candle-light too.Deny down, &c
JOHN BULL’s house is tax’d, so he plays him a trick,By cunningly laying a duty on brick;Thus JOHN for his dwelling is fore’d to pay twice,But BILLY hopes JOHN will not smoke the device.Deny down, &c
What little we may have by industry made,We must pay for a licence to set up a trade;So that ev’ry poor devil must now be tax’d moreFor dealing in goods that paid taxes before.Deny down, &c
The Callico-printers may beg if they please;As dry as a sponge he their cotton will squeeze;With their tears let them print their own linens, cries he,But they never shall make an impression on me,Deny down, &c
The crazy old hackney-coach, almost broke down,Must now pay ten shillings instead of a crown;And to break him down quite, if the first will not do’t,Ten shillings a-piece on his horses to boot.Deny down, &c
The tax upon horses may not be severe,But his scheme for collecting it seems very queer;Did a school-boy e’er dream of a project so idle?A tax on a horse by a stamp on a bridle!Deny down, &c
The tax upon sportsmen I hold to be right;And only lament that the tax is so light;But, alas! it is light for this palpable cause,That sportsmen themselves are the makers of laws!Deny down, &c
He fain would have meddled with coals, but I wotFor his fingers the Gentleman found them too hot;The rich did not like it, and so to be sure,In its place he must find out a tax on the poor.Deny down, &c
Then last, that our murmurs may teaze him the less,By a tax upon paper he’d silence the press;So our sorrow by singing can ne’er be relax’d,Since a song upon taxes itself must be tax’d.Deny down, &c
But now it is time I should finish my song,And I wish from my soul that it was not so long,Since at length it evinces in trusting to PITT,Good neighbours, we all have been cursedly bit.Deny down, &c
While BURKE, in strains pathetic, paintsThe sufferings dire of GENTOO saints,From HOLY CITY[1] driven;Cries HASTINGS, I admit their worth,I thought them far too good for earth,So pack’d them off to Heaven.
MAJOR SCOTT’s Defence of theROHILLA MASSACRE.
So poor ROHILLAS overthrown,That HASTINGS has no mercy shownIn vain, cries SCOTT, to prove you strive;By G—d he never murder’d one,For half are still alive.
[1] BENARES, the MECCA of HINDOSTAN.
“And whoever believeth not all this shall be damned.”ST. ATHANASIUS.
The Members of Opposition are all equally poor—YETthe poor ones are wholly maintained by the rich.
Notwithstanding the above is their only support—YETtheir only means of living arises at the gaming table.
Though these poor dogs win so much money at BROOKES’s—YETtheMembers ofBROOKES’sare all equally indigent.
OPPOSITION cannot raise a shilling—YETthey maintain an army of scribblers, merely to injure an immaculate Minister, whom it is not in their power to hurt.
They are too contemptible and infamous to obtain a moment’s attention from any gentleman or man of sense, and the people at large hold them in general detestation—YETthe gentlemen and men of sense, who conduct the Ministerial papers, are daily employed to attack these infamous wretches, and in endeavouring to convince people who are already all of one mind.
Their characters are so notorious that no person can be found to give them credit for a shilling—YETthey are constantly running in debt with their tradesmen.
They are obliged to sponge for a dinner, or else must go without—YETthey indulge themselves in every species of debauchery and dissipation.
Their prose is as devoid of argument as their verse is of wit—YETwhole troops of ministerial writers are daily employed in answering the one and criticising the other.
Their speeches are laughed at and despised by the whole nation—YETthese laughable and despicable speeches were so artfully framed, as alone to raise a clamour that destroyed the wisest of all possible plans, THE IRISH PROPOSITIONS.
They have traiterously raised a flame in IRELAND—YETtheIRISHare too enlightened to attend to the barkings of a degraded faction.
Their ROLLIADS and ODES are stark nonsense—YETthe sale has been so extensive as to have new clothed the wholeBLUE AND BUFF GANG.
They are possessed of palaces purchased out of the public plunder—YETthey have not a hole to hide their heads in.
The infernal arts of this accursed faction, and not his measures, have rendered Mr. PITT unpopular—YETis Mr. PITTmuch more popular than ever.
In short, OPPOSITION are the most unpopular,popular; poor,rich; artless,artful; incapable,capable; senseless,sensible; neglectful,industrious; witless,witty; starving,pampered; lazy,indefatigable; extravagant,penurious; bold,timid; hypocritical,unguarded; set of designing,blundering; low-minded,high-minded; dishonest,honest; knaves, as were ever honoured with the notice of the MINISTERIAL NEWSPAPERS.
October, 1787.
Told the Chairman the Company had long been in want of four regiments of King’s forces—said it was the first he had heard of it—told him he must require them as absolutely necessary for the safety of India—the man appeared staggered; reminded me of my usual caution; grumbled out something about recruits being cheaper; muttered that I expected too much from him, and talked of preserving appearances.—Called him a fool, and ordered him to do as he was bid.
October, November, December, January.—Employed in disputes with those damned fellows the Directors—would not have my regiments—told them they must—swore they would not—believe the Chairman manages very badly—threatened to provide transports, to carry out the troops at the Company’s expence—found afterwards I had no right—ordered PITT to bring in a Declaratory Bill!
February25th.——Bill brought in—badly drawn—turn away RUSSEL, and get another Attorney-General—could not make MULGRAVE speak—don’t see what use he’s of.
March3d.—Bill read a second time—Sheridan very troublesome—much talk about the constitution—wish Pitt would not let people wander so from the question.
March5th.—Bill in a Committee—Members begin to smell mischief—don’t like it—PITT took fright and shammed sick—was obliged to speak myself—resolved to do it once for all—spoke four hours—so have done my duty, and let PITT now get out of the scrape as well as he can.
March7th.—PITT moved to recommit the bill—talked about checks and the constitution—believe he’s mad. Got into a damned scrape about cotton—second time I’ve been detected—won’t speak any more.—N.B. Not to let BARING come into the Direction again.—FOX spoke—PITT could not answer him, and told the House he was too hoarse—forgot at the time to disguise his voice.
March9th.—Got THURLOW to dine with us atWimbledon—gave him my best Burgundy and Blasphemy, to put him into good humour.—After a brace of bottles, ventured to drop a hint of business—THURLOW damned me, and asked PITT for a sentiment—PITT looked foolish—GRENVILLE wise—MULGRAVE stared—SYDNEY’s chin lengthened—tried the effects of another bottle.—PITT began a long speech about the subject of our meeting—SYDNEY fell asleep by the fire—MULGRAVE and GRENVILLE retired to the old game of the board, and played push-pin for ensigncies in the new corps—Grenville won three.—Mem.—To punish their presumption, will not let either of them have one.
THURLOW very queer.—He swore the bill is absurd, and my correspondence with those cursed Directors damned stupid.—However, will vote and speak with us—PITT quite sick of him—says he growls at every thing, proposes nothing, and supports any thing.
N.B. Must look about for a new Chancellor—Scott might do, but cants too much about his independence and his conscience—what the devil has he to do with independence and conscience—besides he has a snivelling trick of retracting when he is caught in a lie—hate such puling fellows—GEORGE HARDINGE not much better—must try him tho’—will order him to speak on Wednesday.
Took PITT to town in my chariot—drove to Berkeley-street—got PITT to the door, but he would not come in—lounged an hour with CHARLOTTE—promised her a company in one of the new regiments for a disbanded private of the Horse Guards.—Why not order the whole House to be qualified at DRUMMOND’s, and charge it to the Company’s secret service?
March10th.—Sent for TWINING—when he came, had by me a large bason of his SOUCHONG—drank it without a wry face—the most nauseous black draught I ever swallowed—swore it was excellent—quoted a sentence from CICERO, which I got from PRETTYMAN for the occasion—promised to put TWINING on my House-list next year, give him one of the Chairs, and put the Tea-Trade under the Secret Committee—TWINING to procure a requisition for a General Court—gave him hints for a speech—to abuse Baring damnably.
Called at WHITEHALL—took away the last letters from CORNWALLIS, that PITT may not see them before they areproperly copiedout by my private Secretary.—Left orders for PITT and SYDNEY to follow me to my house, where they would find my dispatches for India ready for signing.
March11th.—Dined with the Directors—almost too late;London Tavernnot near enough.—Mem. to order the Directors in future always to dine in my neighbourhood, and allow them to charge the additional coach-hire to the Company—Why not buy along stageto carry them about wherever I may want them?
PITT frightened when we got into the City, lest the mob should hiss—talked aboutGrocers’ Halland better times; asked me if I was not glad they were going to pull downTemple bar, and hoped there would be no further occasion for it.
Tried to prevent his being melancholy—threw a shilling among the blackguards—would not do—no huzzaing. N.B. Not to forget to make the Chairman repay me, the money being disbursed in the Company’s service.
Got to the LONDON TAVERN at six. Drew up my Commissioners in the passage, and gave them their orders—told PITT to follow next to me, and bid MULGRAVE speak in his upper voice, and be affable.—Tried to laugh as we entered the room—MULGRAVE put us out by one of his growling sighs—damn the fellow! must get rid of him.—Told DEVAYNES to laugh for us all—did it well—make him Chairman next year.
Dinner good—don’t see why we should not dine with them always.—N.B. Ordered twelve dozen of their claret to be carried toWimbledon—LUSHINGTON grumbled, and asked by what authority I did it.—A very troublesome fellow that—remove him.
PITT peevish and out of spirits; ordered MOTTEUX to sing a song—began “Ah si vous pouviez comprendre.” PITT turned red, and thought the Chairman alluded to some dark passages in the India Bill—endeavoured to pacify him, and told theSecret Committeeto give us a soft air; they sung in a low voice “the cause I must not, dare not tell”—MANSHIP groaned, and drank Colonel CATHCART. By G—, if I thought he meant to betray me, I’d indict him for perjury!—Somebody struck up “if you trust before you try.”—PITT asked if the Directors wished to affront, him, and began a long harangue about his regard and friendship for the Company;—nineDirectors offered to swear for it—told them they need not—bowed, and thanked me.
LE MESURIER begged our attention to a little French Air, “Sous le nom de l’amitié en finesse on abonde”—cursedmal-à-propos.
PITT swore he was insulted, and got up to go away. The Alderman, much terrified at what he had done, protested solemnly he meant no offence, and called God to witness, it was a very harmless song he learnt some time ago inGuernsey—Could not appease PITT—so went away with him, after ordering MULGRAVE not to let SYDNEY drink any more wine, for fear he should begin talking.
PITT desired the servants to put out the flambeaux, as we went through the city—(a sad coward!) asked me if I did not think FOX’s a very able speech—sighed, and said he had promised to answer it to-morrow—wished however to do nothing in a hurry—expressed much diffidence in his own abilities, and paid me many compliments—thought I had a fine opportunity to shew my talents—assured me he should think nothing of wavinghisright to reply; and that he had not the least objection to lettingmeanswer FOX—begged to decline the offer. N.B. He seemed very uneasy and much frightened—never knew himdiffidentbefore—wish to-morrow was well over.
Came home—opened a bottle of champaigne which I brought in the carriage with me from the Directors’ dinner—looked over my list ofleveemen—found nine field officers yet unprovided for. Wrote to ROSS, enclosing the copy of a letter to be sent to me from Lord C——LL—S requiring more King’s troops—finished my bottle and went to bed.
March12.—Went to the levee—He looked surly—would hardly speak to me—don’t like him—must have heard that I can govern INDIA without consulting him.—Nothing ever escapes thatdamnedfellow SHERIDAN!
Between four and five went to the House—worse than the levee—PITT would not speak, pretended it was better to wait for FOX—put him in mind of the excuse he made at the end of the last debate, and hispromiseto answercalumnies—don’t mind promises—a damned good quality that—but ought to consider his friends—GEO. HARDINGE spoke in consequence of my orders—forgot I was sitting below him—attacked Lord NORTH’s administration—got into a cursed scrape with POWIS—won’t do for CHANCELLOR—why not try BURGESS?—SCOTT defended what he had said in the last debate—made it worse than ever—quoted from DEBRETT’s debates—talked about anadder—thought he was alluding to PITT—our lawyers somehow don’t answer—ADAM and ANSTRUTHER worth them all—can’t they be bought?—Scotchmen!—damned strange if they can’t—Mem. to tell ROSE to sound them.
ADAM severe on me and the rest that have betrayed Lord NORTH—a general confusion all round PITT—no one to defend us—VILLIERS grinned—GRAHAM simpered—MULGRAVE growled—by G—d I believe PITT enjoyed it—always pleased when his friends get into a scrape.—Mem. to give him a lecture upon that—MULGRAVE spoke at last—wish he’d held his tongue—SHERIDAN answered him—improves every day—wish we had him——very odd so clever a fellow shouldn’t be able to see his own interest—wouldn’t venture on a reply myself, for fear of another lick from that clumsy boor Sir EDWARD ASTLEY—said my long speech was dull and tiresome—what’s the matter with the fellow?—used to vote with us—believe LANSDOWN’s got him.—Mem. to tell STEELE to look out for another Member for the county of Norfolk.
Jogged PITT—told him SHERIDAN’s speechmustbe answered—said,Imight do it then, for hecouldn’t—PULTENEY relieved us a little, pretending to be gull’d by thechecks—too great nonsense to have any effect on the House.—BASTARD forgot his last abuse of PITT, and talked again about confidence; but was against the Bill—what’s confidence without a vote?—came to a division at last—better than the former—had whipped in well from SCOTLAND—the House seems tired—hope we shan’t have much more of this.
Mem. to give orders to MANNERS to make a noise, and let nobody speak on third reading—a very useful fellow that MANNERS—does more good sometimes than ten speakers.
March14th. God’s infinite mercy be praised, AMEN! This is the last day that infernal DECLARATORY BILL stays in the House of Commons—as for theLords—but that’s no business of mine; only poor SYDNEY!—Well—God bless us all—AMEN!
Got up and wrote the above, after a very restless night—went to bed again—but could not sleep—troubled with theblue devils—thought I saw POWIS—recovered myself a little, and fell into a slumber—Dreamt I heard SHERIDAN speaking to me through the curtains—woke in a fright, and jumped out of bed.
Went down stairs—found some of the DIRECTORS waiting in the hall—damned their bloods, and told them this was all their doing—informed me a General Court was called by the enemy—bid them make such a noise, that nobody might be heard—DEVAYNES undertook it—ordered the SECRET COMMITTEE to stay, and sent the rest about their business.
After breakfast wrote to HAWK——Y, and begged his acceptance of aLieut. Colonelcy, 2 Majorities, a Collectorship, 3 Shawlsand a piece ofIndia Muslinfor the young ladies—sent back one of theShawls, and said he’d rather have anotherCollector’s place—Damnation! but it must be so, or SYDNEY will be left to himself.—N.B. Not to forget THURLOW’sArrackandGunpowder Tea, with theIndia Crackersfor his children.
MULGRAVE called to know if I wanted him to speak to-day—told him not—had enough of him last time.
Went down to the House—ANSTRUTHER played the devil with all ourchecksandguards—serves us right for introducing such nonsense—GEORGE NORTH asked when I meant to open my budget—said, when the RAVENSWORTH arrives—pray God she be lost! Mem. When I do open my budget, to state all the accounts inTales, Pagodas, andMohurs—has a fine effect on the country gentlemen, and prevents many impertinent observations.
Waited very patiently for PITT’spromised answerto FOX’scalumniestill eight o’clock—fresh inquiries about it every minute—began to be very uneasy—saw OPPOSITION sneering—SHERIDAN asked PITT if he washoarseyet—looked exceedingly foolish—pitied him, and, by way of relieving his aukward situation, spoke myself—made some of my boldest assertions—said a good thing about “A Mare’s Nest”—coined a few clauses, which I assured the House were in Fox’s Bill, and sat down with much applause—was afterwards unfortunately detected in every thing I had said, and universally scouted by all sides.—Mem. I should not have got into that scrape, if I had not tried to help a friend in distress.—N.B. Never to do it again—there’s nothing to be gained by it.
As soon as I recovered myself, asked PITT whether he really meant to answer FOX, or not—Owned at last, with tears in his eyes, he could not muster courage enough to attempt it—sad work this!—N.B. Observed GRENVILLE made a note, that a man need not be an orator, to beChancellor of the Exchequer—he seemed pleased with the precedent.
Nothing left for it but to cryquestion!—divided—only 54 majority—here’s a job!
SHERIDAN read a cursed malicious paper, in which he proved PITT an impostor: and that what FOX had openly demanded, theBoard of Controulhad secretly stolen.—Brother Commissioners all turned pale—was obliged to rub their noses withThieves Vinegar, and then slunk out of the House as fast as I could.——N.B. Believe OLD PEARSON’s a sneering son of a bitch—tried to whistle as I went through the lobby—asked me if I was unwell—damn his impudence.
Came home in a very melancholy mood—returned thanks in a short prayer for our narrow escape—drank a glass of brandy—confessed my sins—determined to reform, and sent to WILBERFORCE for a good book—a very worthy and religious young man that—like him much—always votes with us.
Was beginning to grow very dejected, when ROSE called to inform me of an excellent scheme about BANK STOCK—a snug thing, and not more than twenty in the secret—raised my spirits again—told the servant I would not trouble Mr. WILBERFORCE—ordered a bottle of best burgundy—set to it with ROSE, hand to fist—congratulated one another on having got the DECLARATORY BILL out of our House—and drank good luck to SYDNEY, and a speedy progress through the Lords.