Florence.You are probably more broad-mindedthan I. [Nelly Fell utters a piercing little shriek, having almost fallen off the chair in reaching to pick up her bag. Everyone turns and looks, and Teddy laughs, as usual.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.What’s the matter, Nelly?
Mrs. Fell.[Straightening up, with Ritter’s assistance, and laughing] I nearly fell off the chair. [Mrs. Ritter laughs and returns to the center-door and stands.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Go on, Florence.
Florence.And, really, I don’t think your freedom would be a very good thing for you. You have a form of respectability that requires a certain anchorage in the conventions. But unless you can reconcile yourself in the future to a more literal observance of those conventions, I shall be obliged to insist that youtakeyour freedom.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Look at her, Mr. Hossefrosse.
Hossefrosse.Beg pardon?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[With a touch of impatience] Look at her! [She begins to cough again.]
Hossefrosse.Oh, yes, yes! [He turns and glares at Florence, who is standing just a couple of feet away from him.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Holding the glass of punch aloft again] Betty!
Florence.I have a couple of growing boys,—[Mrs. Pampinelli passes right up between Florence and Hossefrosse to Mrs. Ritter, and takes the glass of claret.] who are beginning to ask me questions which I find toodifficult to answer: and I will neither lie to them—nor allow them to pity me.
Hossefrosse.What do you want me to do?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Handing the claret-glass back to Paula, who goes to the bowl and refills it, and the note-book and pencil to Teddy] Just a moment. [She turns and comes forward in the middle of the room. Florence turns and moves over to the table at the left, and Hossefrosse remains standing at the table at the right.] Just one moment. Listen, Florence dear. [She uses her handkerchief, then stuffs it into the bosom of her dress.] I want you, if you can, to make just a little bit more of that last line. Within the limits of the characterization, of course; but if you canfeelit, I’d like you to give me just the barest suggestion of a tear. Not too much; but just enough to show that,—under all her courage—and her threatening, she is still a woman—and a Mother. You see what I mean, dear?
Florence.More emotion.
Mrs. Pampinelli.In that last line. You are doing splendidly, darling, [Turning to Hossefrosse] both of you; [He acknowledges his excellence with a short bow.] but I have alwaysfeltthat that last line—was really thebigmoment—of the play. It seems to me—[She toys with her necklace, narrows her eyes and looks away off.] that it is there—that she makes her big plea, for her boys, for her home,—for every woman’s home. And even though that pleaismade in the form of a threat,—somehow or other—I seem to hear her saying, sub-vocally, of course, “In God’sname, don’tmake it necessary for me to do this thing!” [She concludes this speech rather dramatically, her arms outstretched. Mr. Spindler, at this point, engaged in a too curious examination of the keyboard, accidentally touches D flat above High C. Everybody turns and looks at him, but his consciousness of guilt does not permit of his meeting their eyes, so he remains bent over the keyboard in precisely the attitude he was in when he struck the note.]
Mrs. Fell.Oh, go away from that piano, Mr. Spindler! [Mrs. Ritter comes forward at the left with a dish of cakes and a glass of claret.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Withdrawing her eyes witheringly from Spindler and turning back to Florence] Do you see what I mean, dear?
Florence.I think I do. Do you want me to go back?
Mrs. Pampinelli.No, that’s quite all right. We’ll take it right from Mr. Hossefrosse’s line, [She turns toward Hossefrosse. And Mrs. Ritter takes advantage of the circumstance to offer Florence a cake; which, of course, is declined with thanks. Then she turns to Mrs. Pampinelli and waits till the lady has finished directing Hossefrosse.] “What do you want me to do?” [Mrs. P. turns back, to be confronted with the cakes and claret; and she takes both. Then she and Paula move back towards the center-door.]
Hossefrosse.[Clearing his throat] What do you want me to do? [Paula gives a shriek of laughter, at something Mrs. Pampinelli whispers to her. ThenPaula goes out through the center-door and offers Twiller, who is still sitting half-way up the stairs, some cake, which he accepts, and then Teddy, who declines, and finally, after taking another one herself, sets the plate down on the hallway table and resumes her chair up at the left; while Mrs. Pampinelli, cake and claret in hand, wanders forward at the right, passing over between the piano and the table below it.]
Florence.I’ve already told you.
Hossefrosse.Then, I suppose I’m simply to decline all women patients in the future, [She makes a little sound of amusement.] or else submit them for general approval. [He now presses the imaginary fire out of the cigarette on the imaginary tray on the table.]
Florence.Stick to your guns, Clyde.
Hossefrosse.That’s the only thing I see to do. [Mrs. Pampinelli stands over at the right watching the scene, and eating and drinking.]
Florence.Your tenacity is commendable, but it’s a lost cause. [Looking at him steadily] I appreciate your embarrassment—
Hossefrosse.[Turning to her, thrusting his hands into his coat-pockets, tilting his chin, and looking at her with an absurdly perky expression] I’m not embarrassed.
Florence.Desolation, then.
Hossefrosse.[Snapping his fingers at her] Ha! [He swings rather jauntily across and up towards the mantelpiece.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.More nonchalance in the cross, Mr. Hossefrosse.
Hossefrosse.[Turning to her suddenly] Me?
Mrs. Pampinelli.More savoir faire, as we say in French. [She illustrates the idea with a kind of floating gesture of the hand.]
Hossefrosse.I see. [He continues over to the left and down towards Ritter and Mrs. Fell, endeavoring to execute Mrs. Pampinelli’s idea by raising his shoulders, stiffening his arms, throwing his head back and swinging his legs, as he walks. Nelly Fell is whispering something to Ritter behind her fan, so that, when Hossefrosse reaches them, he is obliged to touch Ritter on the shoulder and suggest with a nod and a smile that the exigencies of the play require that he shall sit where Ritter is sitting. So Ritter jumps up and tiptoes across in front of the table and up to the piano, where he stands leaning—and watching—particularly Mrs. Pampinelli.]
Florence.[Moving to the table below the piano] But, I shall be magnanimous; having loved and lost myself. So that, really, it may not be nearly so difficult as you imagine.
Hossefrosse.[Sitting on the chair vacated by Ritter] Well, I can’t say that I relish the prospect, with any such misunderstanding as this between us.
Florence.[Crossing to the table at the left] It’s the portion of half the world, Clyde. [Twiller gets up from the stairs and comes down into the right hallway, where he stands watching.]
Hossefrosse.[Trying to look sullen, by resting one elbow on his knee and hunching his shoulders] It certainly isn’t a very inviting one. [Nelly Fell starts to whisper something in his ear.]
Florence.But it has its compensations. [Mrs. Pampinelli, having finished her cake and claret, sets the empty glass down on the table below the piano and uses her handkerchief.] You’ll have your memories, and I shall have the wisdom of disillusionment;—[The telephone-bell rings, up in the left hallway. Mrs. Ritter jumps up, places her sewing-basket on the chair, and, touching her hair, comes forward quickly at the right to the table below the piano.] as well as the consciousness of lots of company.
Mrs. Ritter.[Speaking directly to Mrs. Pampinelli] Is that my cue? [Florence stops and turns and looks at her.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Which cue, dear?
Mrs. Ritter.[Taking a step towards Florence, and with a little questioning, bewildered gesture] The telephone is my cue, isn’t it?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[With a touch of impatience] No, darling, you’re not on in this scene at all. Go on, Florence. [Mrs. Ritter puts her hand to her cheek and looks from one to the other in puzzled embarrassment.]
Florence.[Turning and resuming her lines to Hossefrosse, who, by this time, is deep in conversation with Mrs. Fell] For there are a million women exactlylike me. [Mrs. Ritter bursts out laughing. So does Teddy. Twiller reaches over the partition and flips Teddy on the head with his handkerchief. Jenny appears in the left hallway to answer the telephone.]
Mrs. RitterandFlorence, together.
Mrs. Ritter.[Turning to Mrs. Pampinelli] Oh, I beg your pardon! [She leans across the table explaining to Mrs. Pampinelli, who tries politely to silence her by suggestion that the scene is in progress.] I thought that was my cue.Florence—Secondary women. [She moves around above the table and stands just above Hossefrosse.] So don’t look so tragic; you haven’t lost anything but a lot of time;
Mrs. Ritter.[Turning to Mrs. Pampinelli] Oh, I beg your pardon! [She leans across the table explaining to Mrs. Pampinelli, who tries politely to silence her by suggestion that the scene is in progress.] I thought that was my cue.
Florence—Secondary women. [She moves around above the table and stands just above Hossefrosse.] So don’t look so tragic; you haven’t lost anything but a lot of time;
Jenny.[At the telephone] Hello?
Mrs. Ritter,FlorenceandMrs. Fell, together.
Mrs. Ritter.—I was thinking of something else, you know, and when I heard the telephone, I thought it was for me.Florence.—And that’s always lost when it’s spent on things that are insusceptible of conclusion.Mrs. Fell.[Bursting into a perfect shriek of laughter at something Hossefrosse has just finished telling her, and pushing him away from her] Huxley Hossefrosse, you are perfectly dreadful! [He laughs, too, and attempts to tell her something else, but she turns away and waves him aside.] No, No, No.
Mrs. Ritter.—I was thinking of something else, you know, and when I heard the telephone, I thought it was for me.
Florence.—And that’s always lost when it’s spent on things that are insusceptible of conclusion.
Mrs. Fell.[Bursting into a perfect shriek of laughter at something Hossefrosse has just finished telling her, and pushing him away from her] Huxley Hossefrosse, you are perfectly dreadful! [He laughs, too, and attempts to tell her something else, but she turns away and waves him aside.] No, No, No.
Mrs. Pampinelli.No dear, that is your own telephone.
Jenny.[At the telephone still] Just a minute. [Mrs. Ritter turns towards the back of the room.]
Mrs. Ritter.Oh, so it is! [Directly to Ritter] I knew I had one telephone cue. [She goes laughing through the center-door and on out into the right hallway.]
Jenny.[Trying to attract Ritter’s attention]Mr. Ritter![But Ritter is absorbed in watching Hossefrosse. Florence stands waiting for Hossefrosse and Nelly to stop laughing, but as it doesn’t look as though they will ever stop, she gives Hossefrosse a little dig in the shoulder with her finger. He straightens up abruptly.]
Florence.[Prompting him] I’ve lost her.
Jenny.Mr. Ritter!
Hossefrosse.I’ve lost her.
Florence.That was inevitable in your case, Clyde; you have a conventional soul. [Jenny asks Teddy in pantomime to attract Ritter’s attention.]
Hossefrosse.[In a tone intended to express abysmal despair] I’ve lost you. [Ritter bursts out laughing. Teddy reaches out and indicates that he is wanted on the telephone. Jenny holds the telephone up, and he steps quickly out into the hallway to take it from her.]
Florence.That was incidental, eh?
Hossefrosse.But, it seems to me there should be some other way.
Florence.[Moving to the right, above the table] There is, my dear boy,—for lots of people——
Ritter.[at the telephone] Hello? [Jenny goes out.]
Florence.But not for you.
Ritter.Yes.
Florence.You’re too respectable—Physically, I mean. [She laughs a little, and stands above the table looking at him.]
Ritter.Well, wait a minute, I’ll talk to you upstairs. [He sets the telephone down and starts towards the right to go upstairs. As he passes the center-door he speaks to Teddy, who is still sitting just inside the center-door on the right partition-seat.] Hang that up when I get on, will you, Teddy? [Teddy jumps up and goes out to the telephone, and holds it, waiting till Ritter gets on the extension upstairs.]
Florence.And Mrs. Rush has what it appears to me to be a rather—primitive husband—[Hossefrosse gives her a narrow look.] and you have a very modern wife. So be wise, Clyde; you know what usually happens to him who “loves the danger.” [There is a loud knock at the right door. Hossefrosse jumps to his feet and stands looking fearfully toward it. Florence assumes all the dignity at her command, drawing herself up, placing her right hand upon her throat, her left on her hip, and waiting,—the proud but outraged wife. Mrs. Pampinelli holds up both hands and looks in the direction of the door, to impresseverybody with the dramatic value of the situation. Teddy hangs up the receiver and stands watching her. Nelly Fell straightens up briskly and sits watching the door, in expectant attention. Then Mrs. Pampinelli makes a gesture to Florence to go on with her lines.] Go into your office, I’ll talk to this woman. [Hossefrosse drops his head and shoulders and slinks across in front of the table, a beaten man. He continues up to the center-door and out, into the right hallway. The knock is repeated at the right door. Mrs. Pampinelli motions to Teddy that that is his cue to open the door. He comes through the center-door and crosses above the piano to the right door, Mrs. Pampinelli at the same time moving over to the arm-chair at the right and enshrining herself. Teddy opens the door; and Mrs. Ritter swishes in self-consciously. Nelly Fell and Mr. Twiller give a little ripple of applause, but Mrs. Pampinelli holds one finger up toward Nelly and shushes her. Mrs. Ritter is wearing a rather bizarre-looking hat, set at something of a challenging angle, and as she comes forward at the right of the piano, she bursts into a self-conscious giggle. But Mrs. Pampinelli reproves her with a look. So she controls herself and crosses below the piano, Teddy, simultaneously, crossing above the piano. She stops at the corner of the piano and rests her left hand upon it. Then she places her right hand upon her hip, and, tilting her head back, looks at Teddy, who has stopped directly above her. Ritter appears on the stairway,and moves down a step or two, watching his wife, narrowly.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Flipping her left hand at Teddy, in an attempt to give a fly impression] Hello, kid.
Teddy.Hello, Mrs. Arlington. [Mrs. Ritter swishes down towards the left, shaking her head from side to side and holding her arms akimbo. She turns around to her left, gives Florence a look, supposed to be a very contemptuous look, and stands in the middle of the room again, facing Teddy.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Speaking directly to Teddy] Is my sweetie in? [Ritter moves slowly down to the landing of the stairs, watching his wife as though she were some baffling phenomenon.]
Teddy.No, mam, he ain’t.
Mrs. Ritter.[Drawing her shoulders up, and speaking in a high unnatural key] What!
Teddy.He went about six o’clock.
Mrs. Ritter.Why, I had an appointment withhim!
Teddy.He might be back, maybe.
Mrs. Ritter.But, I can’t wait unless I’mcertainthat he’s coming back.
Teddy.He was expecting you.
Mrs. Ritter.[Still shaking her head and trying generally to appear bold] Yes, I know he was. [Turning to the table at the left, back of which Florence is standing] I suppose I’d better leave a note for him. [She indicates the table with a waving gesture of her left hand.]
Teddy.You’ll find that green one is the best pen.
Mrs. Ritter.[Stepping to the table] Thanks. [She looks at Florence, who gives her a withering look over her right shoulder and turns away to the mantelpiece at the left. Then Mrs. Ritter gives her idea of a scornful laugh.] Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ritter.[Sweeping his hand across his brow, groaning, and falling down the stairs, into the right hallway] Oh my God!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Seeing him fall, and jumping up] Oh, my dear! [Everybody turns.]
Twiller.[Trying to catch him] Hold it! [Spindler rushes past Mrs. Pampinelli and out the center-door into the right hallway. Teddy jumps into a kneeling position on the right partition-seat and looks over the partition. Florence and Mrs. Fell rush up to the center-door and try to see what’s going on, Nelly dodging from one side of Florence to the other, and peering through her lorgnon.] Are you hurt, old man?
Hossefrosse.[Handing his cane and gloves to Spindler] Hold those, please. [Spindler takes them, and Hossefrosse prepares to assist Twiller to lift Ritter from the floor.]
Twiller.Get some water, somebody! [Spindler rushes out the left hallway. Mrs. Pampinelli sweeps up from below the table at the right to the center-door.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Bewildered, in the middle of theroom, as Mrs. Pampinelli passes her] What is it, Betty?
Mrs. Pampinelli.Now, don’t get excited, Paula. [Mrs. Ritter steps frantically across to the piano and turns, leaning against it, looking wide-eyed at Nelly Fell.]
Hossefrosse.Lift up his head.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Looking eagerly out into the right hallway] Is he hurt, boys?
Twiller.I want to get him under the arms. [They lift Ritter onto a bench in the hallway. Nelly Fell turns away from the center-door with an exclamation of distress.]
Hossefrosse.We’d better lay him right here.
Mrs. Ritter.Is it Fred, Nelly?
Mrs. Fell.I don’t know, dear.
Mrs. PampinelliandMrs. Fell, together.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Addressing Hossefrosse and Twiller] You can lay him right here, boys, I think it’ll be as good as any.Mrs. Fell.What is it, Florence, did Mr. Ritter fall downstairs?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Addressing Hossefrosse and Twiller] You can lay him right here, boys, I think it’ll be as good as any.
Mrs. Fell.What is it, Florence, did Mr. Ritter fall downstairs?
Florence.I think so.
Mrs. Fell.[Covering her eyes and swaying] Oh, dear child, don’t! [Florence puts her arm around her and guides her towards the arm-chair at the left.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Give me one of those pillows, Teddy. [He hands her a pillow from the partition-seat where he’s kneeling.]
Mrs. Fell.[Sinking into the arm-chair at the left] Betty, I think I’m going to faint!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning to her] Sit down, dear, I’ll get you some water. [Calling and beckoning out into the left hallway] Jenny dear! come here, please!
Hossefrosse.[Rushing across from the right to the left hallway] I think I’d better call Dr. Wentworth. [He snatches up the telephone and works the hook violently.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Yes, I would. [She turns around to her left and stands looking questioningly at Mrs. Ritter.] Go on with your lines, Paula.
Mrs. Ritter.Well, is hedead, Betty?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[With a definite little gesture of her right hand] Never mind! [The curtain commences to descend, and she sweeps forward.] We will go right on from where Mr. Ritter fell downstairs.
THE CURTAIN IS DOWN
As it Rises Again for the Picture
Hossefrosse.[At the telephone] Landsdowne 8, please,—right away! [Spindler rushes in from the left hallway carrying a glass of water, and followed immediately by Jenny. Twiller is ministering to Ritter. Mrs. Pampinelli is standing in the middle of the room, facing the center-door, and holding up both her hands, as a signal to the various artists that the rehearsal is about to be resumed; so they quickly stepto the various positions in which they respectively were when Mr. Ritter fell.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Addressing Teddy] Yes, I know he was. I s’pose I’d better leave a note for him.
END OF THE ACT