THE TORCH-BEARERS—ACT II.
NOTE:
The setting for this act consists simply of three wings set in the middle of the stage about four feet from the footlights, and parallel to the footlights, the wing in the middle, a plain one, and the one on either side of it, a door-wing. These doors open toward the footlights, and the one on the right is hinged to the right, and the one on the left, to the left. From these door-wings, regular plain wings oblique off to the back wall; and the whole thing is lashed and stage-screwed after the fashion of regulation stage-setting. As the doors in the back flat open, there can be had a glimpse of footlights, and just beyond them, a neutral drop, in grayish black, to represent an auditorium. Between the back flat and the stage footlights, (as distinguished from the regular footlights) the miniature stage is set to represent the interior of a doctor’s waiting-room. Through the door at the right can be seen a desk and revolving chair, and a couple of plain chairs against the wall; and through the left door, a table, littered with magazines, a cabinet, a revolving bookcase and two more chairs. There is a bright rug on the floor. Between the back flat and the regular footlights, over toward the left, there is a stage-screw sticking right up out of the floor; and between the two doors there is a plain chair with its back against the flat. Over the dooron the right, there is a row of six electric bulbs with a cord and button depending from it; and further right, half-way back, there is a wood-wing, set as though it were the exterior backing for a window in the miniature set. Over at the left, away back, fastened about head-high against the back wall, there is a small switchboard-arrangement. Just below this there is an old chair, without a back, with a newspaper lying upon it.
THE TORCH-BEARERS—ACT II.
A waltz is being played somewhere off at the right. Florence and Mrs. Ritter are standing in the middle of the stage, facing the flats, talking. Florence is wearing a fawn-colored, one-piece coat-dress, buttoned high at the throat, military fashion, and a toque made of wine-colored velvet leaves. She wears fawn-colored slippers and stockings, and carries a fitch muff. Mrs. Ritter is wearing a very rich-looking coat-suit in blue serge, trimmed at the collar and cuffs with white monkey-fur. Her hat is dark-blue felt, quite large, with a bird of paradise set at a decidedly rakish tilt. Her slippers and stockings are black, and she carries an umbrella. Over at the extreme left, and forward, Mrs. Fell is hearing Mr. Twiller read his lines from the manuscript. Mrs. Fell is gowned in a brilliant creation of silver-cloth trimmed withsea-green satin. There are numerous strings of crystal beads hanging in the front from the waist to the bottom of the skirt, and she has a spreading poinsetta in scarlet velvet fastened at her waist. There is a long, fish-tail train to the gown, lined with the green satin, and she has a heavy rope of pearls and sea-green beads around her neck, from which her lorgnon depends. There are diamonds in her hair, diamonds galore upon her arms and hands, and she’s wearing her diamond dog-collar. Her slippers and stockings are of pale green. Mr. Twiller has on a double-breasted blue-serge suit, a black derby, black shoes and fawn-colored spats, and a perfectly villainous-looking black mustache, absurdly large, and obviously artificial. He stands leaning upon a cane, reciting his lines to Mrs. Fell. Mr. Spindler, in a dinner-suit, is trying desperately to unfasten the stage-screw from the floor at the left, while Mr. Hossefrosse, wearing a light business-suit, a light, soft hat, tan shoes and spats, and carrying a cane and gloves, is pacing back and forth between the left door and the extreme left, reciting his lines to himself. He is atrociously made up, with the carmine smeared heavily on his cheek-bones. The stage manager, in a tan jumper and army shirt, dirty white running-pumps, a battered old cap adorned with many tobacco-tags, and carrying a hammer, wanders on from the right and crosses the stage, passing below Florence and Mrs. Ritter, who turn and look at him curiously, and continues on up at the left tothe switch-board, where he picks up the newspaper from the broken chair, and, after lighting his pipe, sits down to read. He is apparently disgusted with the world and utterly oblivious of his surroundings. The waltz-music stops, and Mr. Hossefrosse comes to a halt in his pacing, right outside the left door. It is instantly flung open, knocking him toward the left, and disarranging his hat, and Mrs. Pampinelli sweeps out—in a princess-gown of ruby-colored velvet, with a long train, and heavily trimmed about the upper part of the bodice with ornaments of ruby-colored beads. Her shoulders and arms are bare, and she has a small string of rubies about her throat;—a bracelet and several rings of rubies; as well as a high Spanish comb studded with rubies. Her slippers are of black velvet. Mrs. Ritter gives a little cry as Mr. Hossefrosse is struck by the door.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Holding the door ajar] Oh, did I hit you, Mr. Hossefrosse! I’m so sorry.
Hossefrosse.[Settling his hat] That’s all right.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[To the ladies] The setting looks splendid, girls! [Crossing quickly below Hossefrosse towards the left] Will you come here for a moment, Mr. Spindler?
Mrs. Ritter.[Turning away to the right] I don’t want to see it till I go on.
Florence.[As Hossefrosse comes towards her] You’d better keep away from that door, Mr. Hossefrosse.[She and Mrs. Ritter laugh.]
HossefrosseandMrs. Pampinelli, together.
Hossefrosse.Yes, I think I had.Mrs. Pampinelli.[Up at the left, addressing the stage manager] Are you ready, Mr. Stage Manager? [He continues to read.]
Hossefrosse.Yes, I think I had.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Up at the left, addressing the stage manager] Are you ready, Mr. Stage Manager? [He continues to read.]
HossefrosseandMrs. Pampinelli, together.
Hossefrosse.[Brushing his clothes] I don’t think a whisk-broom’d be out of place on this stage, either.Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning to Spindler, who is still occupied with the stage-screw] Mr. Spindler, will you come here, please? [Turning back to the stage manager] Mr. Stage Manager! [Spindler goes towards her, and Hossefrosse goes through the left door.]
Hossefrosse.[Brushing his clothes] I don’t think a whisk-broom’d be out of place on this stage, either.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning to Spindler, who is still occupied with the stage-screw] Mr. Spindler, will you come here, please? [Turning back to the stage manager] Mr. Stage Manager! [Spindler goes towards her, and Hossefrosse goes through the left door.]
Stage Manager.[Looking up from his paper, very peevishly] Yes?
Mrs. Pampinelli.Are you all ready?
Stage ManagerandTwiller, together.
Stage Manager.Yes, sure, I’m all ready. [He resumes his newspaper.]Twiller.[Turning sharply to Spindler, who has stopped on his way to Mrs. Pampinelli to call Mrs. Fell’s attention to the stage-screw, and to warn her to be careful of it] Oh, go away! Can’t you see we’re busy.
Stage Manager.Yes, sure, I’m all ready. [He resumes his newspaper.]
Twiller.[Turning sharply to Spindler, who has stopped on his way to Mrs. Pampinelli to call Mrs. Fell’s attention to the stage-screw, and to warn her to be careful of it] Oh, go away! Can’t you see we’re busy.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Mr. Spindler!
Spindler.[Stepping briskly to her side] Yes, mam?
Mrs. Pampinelli.Come here, please. [Turning to the stage manager] Mr. Stage Manager—[He looksup.] This young man will give you the cue for the curtain, in case I am not here.
Stage Manager.All right. [He resumes his newspaper.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning and coming forward again, holding her skirt up off the floor] You stand right here, Mr. Spindler, and I’ll give you the signal when I’m ready.
Spindler.All right.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Hurrying towards the left door] Now, is everybody all right?
Florence.Yes.
Mrs. Ritter.I think so.
Mrs. Pampinelli.How areyou, Paula?
Mrs. Ritter.[Giggling] All right.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Where’s Mr. Hossefrosse? [She glances frantically about.]
FlorenceandMrs. Ritter, together.
Florence.He’s just stepped on the stage.Mrs. Ritter.He was here a minute ago.
Florence.He’s just stepped on the stage.
Mrs. Ritter.He was here a minute ago.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Mr. Hossefrosse, where are you! [She opens the left door.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Calling] Mr. Hossefrosse! [He opens the right door and comes out.]
Hossefrosse.Yes?
TeddyandMrs. Pampinelli, together.
Teddy.[Sitting at the desk over at the right, in the miniature set beyond the flats, to Mrs. Pampinelli, as she comes through the left door] There he is.Mrs. Pampinelli.[To Teddy, as she steps into the miniature set, through the left door] Where’s Mr. Hossefrosse?
Teddy.[Sitting at the desk over at the right, in the miniature set beyond the flats, to Mrs. Pampinelli, as she comes through the left door] There he is.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[To Teddy, as she steps into the miniature set, through the left door] Where’s Mr. Hossefrosse?
FlorenceandMrs. Ritter, together.
Florence.[To Hossefrosse] Mrs. Pampinelli’s looking for you.Mrs. Ritter.[Calling] Here he is, Mrs. Pampinelli! [Hossefrosse steps quickly to the left door and starts in, just as Mrs. Pampinelli comes out through the right door. Florence steps over to the left door and catches Hossefrosse by the arm, and pulls him back.]
Florence.[To Hossefrosse] Mrs. Pampinelli’s looking for you.
Mrs. Ritter.[Calling] Here he is, Mrs. Pampinelli! [Hossefrosse steps quickly to the left door and starts in, just as Mrs. Pampinelli comes out through the right door. Florence steps over to the left door and catches Hossefrosse by the arm, and pulls him back.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Coming through the right door] Whereishe?
Mrs. Ritter.[Pointing to Hossefrosse] There he is! [She laughs.]
Florence.[Drawing Hossefrosse back] Mrs. Pampinelli wants you!
Hossefrosse.[To Mrs. Pampinelli] I beg your pardon.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Oh, Mr. Hossefrosse!
Hossefrosse.[Crossing to the right towards her] Yes?
Mrs. Pampinelli.Are you all right?
Hossefrosse.I think so, yes.
Mrs. Pampinelli.How is your make-up?
Hossefrosse.All right, I think.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Indicating the right door] Would you stand here for a moment under this light until I see it?
Hossefrosse.Certainly. [He goes to the right door and stands with his back against it. The light from the row of electric bulbs over the door shines down on his face. Mrs. Pampinelli stands off to his right, surveying his make-up critically.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Very good.
Hossefrosse.Not too much red?
Mrs. Pampinelli.No, I shouldn’t say so.
Hossefrosse.[Indicating his right cheek] Up here, I mean.
Mrs. Pampinelli.No, I think the contour of your face requires it. It heightens the expression. [She starts across towards the left.] It’s very good. [Hossefrosse comes over and chats with the ladies about his make-up.] Mr. Twiller! [Twiller turns from Mrs. Fell.]
Twiller.Yes? [Turning back to Mrs. Fell] Excuse me, Nelly.
Mrs. Fell.Certainly.
Mrs. Pampinelli.How is your mustache?
Twiller.[Touching it gingerly] All right, I think.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Is it quite secure?
Twiller.I think so. [Mrs. Ritter, Florence and Hossefrosse turn and look.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Stepping back a step from him and looking at the mustache, with her head tilted a bit to the left side] You’ve made it a little smaller, haven’t you?
Twiller.[Touching the left side of his mustache] I cut it down a bit on this side.
Mrs. Pampinelli.I thought you had.
Twiller.I was a little conscious of it.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Well,—I don’t know but that it’s better for the characterization.
Twiller.And how are my eyes? [He turns and looks out and away off, widening his eyes as though he were having his picture taken.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[After looking keenly at his eyes for a second] Very effective. [She turns quickly away towards the right, and Twiller turns back to his left to Mrs. Fell.] Now, is everybody ready? [They all smile and nod.] Your gloves and cane, Mr. Hossefrosse?
Hossefrosse.[Crossing above Florence and Mrs. Ritter towards Mrs. Pampinelli, extending his cane and gloves] Yes.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning towards Mrs. Fell] Places, Nelly! Get ready, Mr. Spindler!
Spindler.I’m all ready. [Mrs. Fell closes the manuscript, excuses herself to Twiller, and crosses, above him, towards the right. He goes back at the left and says something to Spindler, then comes forward again.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Calling through the left door] Are you all right, Teddy?
Teddy.[Beyond the flats, over at the right] All right. [As Mrs. Fell passes above Florence and Mrs. Ritter, on her way over to the right, she whispers somethingto them which causes a general laugh:—then she continues on over to the door at the right and takes up her official position, as promptress.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning and addressing them generally] Now, is everybody all right? [They all nod.] You both all right, girls? [Mrs. Ritter nods.]
Florence.All right.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning around to the left to Mr. Spindler, and with an authoritative gesture] All right, then—take up the curtain!
Spindler.[Waving his hand to the stage manager] All right, Stage Manager!
Stage Manager.[Getting up, very reluctantly] Are you ready?
Mrs. PampinelliandSpindler, together.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Yes, all ready.Spindler.Let her go!
Mrs. Pampinelli.Yes, all ready.
Spindler.Let her go!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[With a kind of ceremonious flourish of the hand] Take up the curtain! [The stage manager tosses his newspaper onto the chair and steps out of sight, to the left. There is an anxious pause. Then Mrs. Pampinelli starts violently and grabs the knob of the left door.] Oh, wait one moment! [Spindler rushes back at the left, whistling.]
Florence,Mrs. Ritter,TwillerandHossefrosse, together, [as Mrs. Pampinelli pulls open the left door.]
Florence.Wait a minute!Mrs. Ritter.Oh, wait!Twiller.Hold it!Hossefrosse.[Grabbing the door and holding it open] Not yet!
Florence.Wait a minute!
Mrs. Ritter.Oh, wait!
Twiller.Hold it!
Hossefrosse.[Grabbing the door and holding it open] Not yet!
Mrs. Ritter.[Calling to the stage manager] Just a minute!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Going in through the left door] One moment, please! [She vanishes to the right, and there is a slight pause, during which the curtain, which had been raised four feet, can be seen through the door to descend again. They all exchange looks of distress and amused annoyance. Then Mrs. Pampinelli hurries out through the door again.] All right!
Spindler.[Who has come forward at the left] Is it all right? [Hossefrosse releases the door and it closes.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Yes, it’s all right. [Spindler goes towards the back at the left and she follows him half-way.]
Spindler.All right, Mr. Stage Manager!
Stage Manager.[Off at the left] Are you ready?
Mrs. PampinelliandSpindler, together.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Yes, all ready, Mr. Stage Manager!Spindler.Let her go!
Mrs. Pampinelli.Yes, all ready, Mr. Stage Manager!
Spindler.Let her go!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning and coming forward at the left] Take it up! [She stands just to the left of the left door, peering through the flats. Spindler is farther back at the left, peering, also; and Mrs. Fellis over at the right door, peering. There is a pause. Mr. Hossefrosse takes up his position outside the left door, preparatory to making his entrance. He settles his clothes generally, and clears his throat.] The curtain is going up, Mr. Hossefrosse, go on.
Hossefrosse.Is it up?
Mrs. Pampinelli.Yes, yes, go on! [He opens the door, rather magnificently, and swings in. There is a ripple of applause, and the door closes after him; and they all try to find a crevice between the flats that will afford a glimpse of the stage beyond. The stage manager appears from the left carrying a regulation door-slam, which he brings forward and drops, with a bang, just to the left of the left door. They all turn and look at him, in resentful astonishment, but he simply gives them a look of infinite disdain and returns to his chair at the back to read.]
Hossefrosse.[Beyond the flats] Anybody here, David?
Teddy.[Beyond the flats, over toward the right] No, sir.
Hossefrosse.[Beyond the flats, moving towards the right] No telephones?
Teddy.No, sir.
Hossefrosse.[Coming through the right door, without his hat] Nothing at all, eh? [Mrs. Ritter is standing right in front of the door.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Get away from the door, Paula! [Paula jumps to the left. Mrs. Fell takes advantageof the crevice caused by the door being open, to try to see the audience.]
Teddy.[Who can be seen through the open door standing at the desk] No, sir.
Hossefrosse.[Leaning over and laying his cane and gloves on the chair between the doors] All right, sir. [The door begins to swing to behind him.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Keep that door open, Mr. Hossefrosse! [Spindler comes forward at the left to see what’s the matter. Hossefrosse thrusts his foot back and kicks the door open.]
Hossefrosse.And I think that will do very nicely for this day. [The door begins slowly to swing to again.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.There it goes again, Mr. Hossefrosse!
Hossefrosse.It won’tstayopen! [Mrs. Fell looks around the door.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Take hold of that door, Nelly! [Nelly puts one foot around it, and stands looking at her manuscript. Spindler goes back at the left and looks through the wings again, at the stage.]
Hossefrosse.[In a frantic whisper] Telephone!
Mrs. Fell.Telephone, somebody!
Hossefrosse.Good Lord!
Florence.Mr. Spindler, telephone! [Spindler rushes forward at the left.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Where is he?
Spindler.What?
Florence.The telephone-bell!
Mrs. Pampinelli.Where’s your bell?
Spindler.[Pulling the battery-arrangement out of his pocket] Has the cue been given?
Teddy.[Picking up the telephone on the desk beyond the flats] Hello?
Mrs. Pampinelli.Ring it! Of course it’s been given! [He rings the bell, and Hossefrosse steps through the right door and watches Teddy anxiously.]
Spindler.I didn’t hear it!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Annihilating him with a look, and starting over towards the right door] Well, why aren’t you over here when your cue’s given and then you would hear it! [Spindler trails over after her.]
Hossefrosse.[Over his shoulder, to Mrs. Pampinelli] Shush!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning sharply back towards the left, and directly to Spindler, who is right behind her] Shush! [She passes below him and continues towards the left.] Keep away from that door, they’ll see you! [In attempting to keep out of the way of the door, Spindler turns sharply and trips over the screw of a stage-brace, falling his length across the open door. Mrs. Ritter gives a little scream, and Mrs. Pampinelli whirls round and glares at him. He scrambles to his feet, and Mrs. Ritter giggles and pulls him to the left, away from the door.]
Hossefrosse.[Standing in the open door, addressing Teddy] Mrs. A.? [Teddy nods, and Hossefrossepretends to pick up an imaginary telephone from a desk just to the left of the right door.] Yes? All right. [He pretends to hang up and set the telephone down on the desk again.] You can clear out of here now, David, any time you like,—Mrs. Arlington is on her way up.
Teddy.[Rising, and settling the various papers on the desk] All right.
Mrs. Ritter.[Helping Mr. Spindler to brush off his clothes] Did you hurt yourself, Mr. Spindler? [Mrs. Pampinelli tries to attract Spindler’s attention to the door-slam.]
Spindler.No. [He hurries over to the door-slam at the left and picks it up.]
Hossefrosse.I’ll let you off early Monday. [Florence stands anxiously outside the left door.]
Teddy.Oh, that’s all right.
Hossefrosse.And don’t forget to leave that list with the Robinson people on your way down Monday.
Teddy.No, sir, I won’t; I have it right here in me pocket. [Florence puts her lips against the left door and coughs hard. Then she shuffles her feet; so does Spindler. Hossefrosse steps through the right door and looks over toward the left door.]
Hossefrosse.[Addressing Teddy, in a subdued tone] Is that someone coming?
Teddy.[Looking toward the left door] I think so. [There is a slight pause, then Mrs. Pampinelli makes a decisive movement to Spindler and he brings thedoor-slam down with a thunderous bang. Mrs. Pampinelli starts violently.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.That’s too loud, Mr. Spindler!
Spindler.There’s too much wood in it! [He starts across to the right.]
Hossefrosse.[Stepping down to Teddy’s desk and picking up his hat] That can’t be Mrs. Arlington already. I won’t see anyone else. [He starts back towards the door.] Tell them I’ve gone; and don’t let anybody wait. [He takes hold of the door as he steps through.] Say you’re just locking up the office. [He comes through the door and tries to close it, but Nelly’s foot is still around it, and she is lost in the manuscript. He pulls at the door, but she is oblivious.]
Mrs. Ritter.Nelly! [Spindler gives a little whistle to attract her attention.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Let go of the door, Nelly!
Mrs. Fell.[Jumping out of the way, to the right] Oh, I beg your pardon! [Hossefrosse scowls at her and closes the door. Spindler jumps to the door and turns a key, which he has in his hand, in the lock, then touches the button at the end of the cord, extinguishing the row of lights over the door, then rushes back towards the left door. Mrs. Ritter is right in his way as he rushes back, and they dodge each other twice before Mr. Spindler can get past. When he reaches the left door, he raps violently, Mrs. Pampinelli directing his activities with little nervous gestures. Thereis a pause: then the left door is opened by Teddy. Mrs. Ritter is right in front of it.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Standing to the left of the door] Get out of the way, Paula! [Mrs. Ritter jumps out of the way, to the right, then looks back at Mrs. Pampinelli and giggles, but Mrs. Pampinelli puts her finger on her lips.]
Florence.[Passing through the left door] Good evening, son.
Teddy.[Reaching out and closing the door] Good evening. [There is prolonged applause from beyond the flats, and everybody, having seen Florence safely through the door, rushes to his favorite crevice between the wings, or rip in the scenery, to see how she is being received by the audience.]
Florence.[Beyond the flats] Isn’t the Doctor in?
Teddy.No, mam, he ain’t; he went about six o’clock.
Florence.That’s unfortunate, I wanted to see him. [Hossefrosse turns away from the right door, where he’s been peeking, and mops his brow: then he turns and puts his hat down on the chair.]
Spindler.[Stepping towards him from the left door] How do you feel?
Hossefrosse.All right; but that door and that telephone got me kind of rattled.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Looking over from the extreme left of the back flat, where she has been peeking] Shush, boys! [Hossefrosse turns away and tiptoes towardsthe right, and the others resume their peeking.]
Mrs. Fell.[Turning to Hossefrosse, as he passes below her] What’s the matter, Huxley, did something go wrong? [Mrs. Pampinelli looks over again to see who’s talking.]
Hossefrosse.[Indicating the right door] That door kind of got me rattled for a minute.
Mrs. Fell.I don’t think the audience noticed it.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Shush! [Nelly consults her manuscript, listening at the same time to the dialogue beyond the flats, and Mr. Hossefrosse continues to the extreme right and forward, trying to make the squeak of his new shoes as inaudible as possible. Mrs. Pampinelli puts her ear to the flat and listens keenly.]
Teddy.[Faintly, beyond the flats] Why, he always asts me to wait whenever he’s expectin’ his wife downtown. [Spindler suddenly turns from the wing where he has been peeking, and, breaking into quite a jaunty little whistle, starts across towards the left; but Mrs. Pampinelli turns abruptly and glares him into silence. He clasps his hand over his mouth and apologizes with an obsequious little gesture.]
Florence.[Beyond the flats] I see. And he was expecting her this evening?
Teddy.Yes, mam.
Florence.Do you know her? [Spindler trips and almost falls over the stage-screw in the floor at the left. Twiller, who has been standing down at the extremeleft, makes an impatient move and goes up towards the back.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Oh, Mr. Spindler, for Pity’s sake do keep still for one moment!
Spindler.[Squatting down and attempting to remove the screw] We’d better get this thing out of here, before somebody gets hurt.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Now, don’t take that out of there, Mr. Spindler! You might loosen the scenery.
Spindler.This isn’t connected with the scenery.
Mrs. Pampinelli.You don’t know whether it is or not! Leave it where it is.
Spindler.[Getting up and moving over towards the right] Somebody’s going to get their neck broken, the first thing you know.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Very well, then, that will be their misfortune! We’ve simply got to be careful, that’s all. Get ready, Paula. [Mrs. Ritter giggles and takes up her position outside the left door.]
Mrs. Fell.[As Spindler comes towards her] What’s the matter, Mr. Spindler?
Spindler.[In quite a temper, and indicating the stage-screw over at the left] Why, that thing there is sticking right up in the middle of the floor, and the first thing you—
Mrs. Pampinelli.Shush!—[He turns and scowls at her, and she glares at him. He passes below Mrs. Fell and over to Hossefrosse, at the extreme right and forward, where he whispers his grievance.]
Mrs. Fell.You all right, Paula? [Paula nods yes.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Don’t be nervous, now, Paula. [Twiller comes forward at the left.]
Mrs. Ritter.I’m not the least bit, dear, really.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Well, that’s splendid, dear. I’ll open the door for you. [She takes hold of the knob of the left door.]
Mrs. Ritter.All right, thank you. [They stand listening, keenly.]
Florence.[Beyond the flats] Do you mind if I wait a few minutes, in case he comes?
Teddy.[Beyond the flats] Why, I was just going home.
Florence.Oh, were you? [Twiller lifts his hat and gives it a little wave at Mrs. Ritter, and she waves her hand back at him.]
Teddy.Yes, mam; and I have to lock up the office before I go.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Suddenly] There it is now, dear. [She opens the door, and Mrs. Ritter steps back a bit, in order to make a more effective entrance.] Good luck, darling.
Mrs. Ritter.[Turning to her] Thank you, dear. [She steps through the door, tripping awkwardly over the door-strip. Mrs. Pampinelli makes a gesture of extreme annoyance. There is an outburst of applause; then Mrs. Pampinelli closes the door, and they all step to the flats and peek through, Mrs. Pampinelli at theleft door, Mrs. Fell at the right, Mr. Spindler between them, and Hossefrosse and Twiller about half-way back at the right and left, respectively. There is a pause; and then Mrs. Ritter can be heard beyond the flats.] Hello, kid!
Teddy.Hello, Mrs. Arlington.
Mrs. Ritter.Is my sweetie in?
Teddy.No, mam, he ain’t.
Mrs. Ritter.[With an unnatural inflection] What!
Mrs. Fell.[Calling over in a whisper to Mrs. Pampinelli] Betty! [Mrs. Pampinelli doesn’t hear her, so she tiptoes over towards her.] Betty!
Mrs. Pampinelli.What?
Mrs. Fell.Did Paula trip?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Coming away from the flat, and moving down to Mrs. Fell] Yes. [Mrs. Fell gives an annoyed shake of her head.] But I don’t see how anyone can get ontothatstagewithouttripping.
Mrs. Fell.I don’t either.
Mrs. Pampinelli.It seems an utter impossibility to me for anyone, especially a woman, to get through those doors without catching her heel or her skirt or something. [Spindler crosses to the left, back of the ladies, and speaks to Twiller.]
Mrs. Fell.[Returning to the right door] It’s dreadful!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning to her left and goingback again to the left door] I don’t see the necessity of it.
Mrs. Fell.[Opening her manuscript] I don’t either.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Listening keenly] I’m afraid they’re not hearing Paula at all.
Mrs. Fell.What?
Mrs. Pampinelli.I say, I’m afraid Paula isn’t loud enough.
Mrs. Fell.Well, why don’t you speak to her, Betty, she’s sitting right here. [She indicates the point right inside the right door, and Mrs. Pampinelli, picking up her skirt, hurries over. Mrs. Fell steps out of the way, to the right.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Putting her lips to the joining of the door-wing and the side wing] Speak a little louder, Paula! I’m afraid they’re not hearing you!
Mrs. Fell.Can she hear you?
Mrs. Pampinelli.A little louder, dear! [The right door is thrust open by Teddy.]
Teddy.[In a frantic whisper] There’s no pen and ink on the desk! [Spindler rushes over from the left.]
Spindler.What? [Mrs. Pampinelli, Mrs. Fell and Mr. Hossefrosse rush round to him from the right.]
Teddy.No pen and ink!
Mrs. Pampinelli.What is it, Teddy?
TeddyandSpindler, together.
Teddy.No pen and ink on the desk!Spindler.No pen and ink!
Teddy.No pen and ink on the desk!
Spindler.No pen and ink!
Mrs. Pampinelli.My God!
Mrs. Fell.Tell her to use a lead-pencil!
TeddyandMrs. Pampinelli, together.
Teddy.—[To Mrs. Fell] There’s none on there!Mrs. Pampinelli.Give him a lead-pencil, Mr. Spindler!
Teddy.—[To Mrs. Fell] There’s none on there!
Mrs. Pampinelli.Give him a lead-pencil, Mr. Spindler!
Spindler.[Whirling and springing towards the left] Haven’t got one! [Teddy, Mrs. Pampinelli and Mrs. Fell rush after him.]
SpindlerandMrs. Pampinelli, together.
Spindler.Twiller!Mrs. Pampinelli.Oh, dear, dear!
Spindler.Twiller!
Mrs. Pampinelli.Oh, dear, dear!
Twiller.[Rushing towards them from the left] What’s the matter?
SpindlerandTeddy, together.
Spindler.Got a lead-pencil?Teddy.Give him a lead-pencil, Ralph!
Spindler.Got a lead-pencil?
Teddy.Give him a lead-pencil, Ralph!
Twiller.[Dropping his cane] No! [They fling him out of the way, to the left, and rush on back to the stage manager.] What are you trying to do, knock me off my feet!
Mrs. Pampinelli.Haven’t you got one, Mr. Twiller?
SpindlerandMrs. Fell, together.
Spindler.[To the stage manager] Got a lead-pencil, old man?Mrs. Fell.[At Mrs. Pampinelli’s heels] There’s one in my bag somewhere!
Spindler.[To the stage manager] Got a lead-pencil, old man?
Mrs. Fell.[At Mrs. Pampinelli’s heels] There’s one in my bag somewhere!
Mrs. Pampinelli,SpindlerandTeddy, together.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning to Mrs. Fell] See what they’re doing out there, Nelly!Spindler.[To the stage manager] Or a fountain-pen!Teddy.[To the stage manager] They need it on the stage!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning to Mrs. Fell] See what they’re doing out there, Nelly!
Spindler.[To the stage manager] Or a fountain-pen!
Teddy.[To the stage manager] They need it on the stage!
Mrs. FellandStage Manager, together.
Mrs. Fell.[Turning and rushing back towards the right door] Certainly, darling!Stage Manager.[Feeling in his shirt-pockets] Well, now, wait a minute, wait a minute!
Mrs. Fell.[Turning and rushing back towards the right door] Certainly, darling!
Stage Manager.[Feeling in his shirt-pockets] Well, now, wait a minute, wait a minute!
Mrs. Fell.[Turning with a despairing gesture, after having opened the right door and looked in] My dear, they’re not doing a thing, they’re just sitting there!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning to the left] Hurry, boys! [Turning to the right] Tell them to say something, Nelly! Anything at all! Something about the weather! [Nelly runs to the extreme right end of the flat. Teddy and Spindler come rushing forward at the left.] Did you get it, Teddy?
TeddyandSpindler, together.
Teddy.Yes!Spindler.Yes, he’s got it!
Teddy.Yes!
Spindler.Yes, he’s got it!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Indicating the left door] Go on here, Teddy! [He grabs the knob of the door, but it won’t open.]
Mrs. Fell.[Calling through the flats] Say something, Paula!
Mrs. Pampinelli.You should never leave the stage during a scene, Teddy!
TeddyandMrs. Fell, together.
Teddy.[Wrestling with the door] Damn these doors!Mrs. Fell.[Calling through the flats] Something about the weather!
Teddy.[Wrestling with the door] Damn these doors!
Mrs. Fell.[Calling through the flats] Something about the weather!
Mrs. Pampinelli.Take hold of this, Mr. Spindler! [He grabs the knob of the door and Teddy runs across to the right door.]
Teddy.I’ll go on here!
Mrs. Fell.[As Teddy goes through the right door] If you can’t use one door, use the other! [The door closes after him; and Mrs. Pampinelli turns and looks upon Spindler, who is still trying to get the left door open.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.You know, this isall your fault, Mr. Spindler. [He doesn’t look up.] You said you’d attend to all those properties!
Mrs. Fell.What’s the matter with the door, Betty?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[To Spindler] Never mind it now. [She moves towards the center of the stage.]
Spindler.We’d better get it open before somebody has to use it again.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Go away from it, I tell you! [He walks away towards the left, sulking.] It willprobably open all right from the other side. [She comes forward slowly, touching her hair and relaxing generally, then, suddenly, stands stock-still, and listens, wide-eyed. She looks quickly at Mrs. Fell, who is carefully settling her necklace, at the right door.] What’s wrong out there, Nelly? [Nelly turns and looks through the flats, then turns quickly to Mrs. Pampinelli.]
Mrs. Fell.I think he’s up!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Frozen to the spot] Who? [Nelly looks again, and then back to Mrs. Pampinelli.]
Mrs. Fell.All of them!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Picking up her skirt and rushing towards the right door] Let me see! [Nelly jumps out of the way, to the right, and Twiller and Spindler rush to the left door and peek through. Mrs. Pampinelli peeks through, and then speaks through the flats.] What’s the matter, Teddy? Go over and get your hat and coat! [Turning frantically to Mrs. Fell] He’s up in his lines! What is it?
Mrs. Fell.[In a panic] Up in his lines!
Mrs. PampinelliandMrs. Fell, together.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Speaking through the flats] Go over and get your hat and coat, Teddy! Don’t stand there like a jack!Mrs. Fell.[Handing the manuscript to Hossefrosse, who is at her right] Oh, find that for me, will you, Huxley! [He takes the manuscript from her andturns it over furiously, while Nelly opens her lorgnon.] About page eleven, I think it is! [She assists him in finding the place.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Speaking through the flats] Go over and get your hat and coat, Teddy! Don’t stand there like a jack!
Mrs. Fell.[Handing the manuscript to Hossefrosse, who is at her right] Oh, find that for me, will you, Huxley! [He takes the manuscript from her andturns it over furiously, while Nelly opens her lorgnon.] About page eleven, I think it is! [She assists him in finding the place.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.What was the last line, Nelly? This is dreadful!
Mrs. Fell.Now, wait a moment, darling! Don’t get me nervous, or I’llneverbe able to find it! [Twiller and Spindler are in a panic of suspense over at the left door.]
Hossefrosse.Here’s page eleven.
Mrs. Fell.Is that eleven? Well, now, here it is, right here— Why, a— I’ll get you an envelope!
Mrs. Pampinelli.What’s the next?
Mrs. Fell.The next is—a—why a—I’ve got to go now—
Mrs. FellandMrs. Pampinelli, together.
Mrs. Fell.It takes me nearly an hour to get home!Mrs. Pampinelli.[Calling through the flats] I’ve got to go now!
Mrs. Fell.It takes me nearly an hour to get home!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Calling through the flats] I’ve got to go now!
TeddyandMrs. Pampinelli, together.
Teddy.[Beyond the flats] I’ve got to go now!Mrs. Pampinelli.[Calling through the flats] It takes me nearly an hour to get home.
Teddy.[Beyond the flats] I’ve got to go now!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Calling through the flats] It takes me nearly an hour to get home.
Teddy.It takes me an hour to get home!
Mrs. Fell.Are they all right?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Coming away from the flats] Yes, they’re all right now. But you’d better standright here, I’m afraid of Paula. [She moves towards the left.]
Spindler.[Coming towards her] You know, I could haveswornI put a pen and ink on that desk!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Imperiously] Please, Mr. Spindler, don’t explain anything! I am interested in results. [She turns and moves back again towards the right, and Spindler goes over to the left. Just as he passes beyond the left door, the entire lock and knob fall to the floor. He turns nervously, only to find Mrs. Pampinelli, who has turned quite as nervously, looking at him dangerously.]
Spindler.I didn’ttouchit!
Mrs. Pampinelli.Will you go away, before you ruin the entire performance! [He snaps around and goes over to the left and up towards the back.]
Teddy.[Opening the left door and swaying through] Good night. [He is dressed in a brown sack-suit and wears tan shoes.]
Florence.[Beyond the flats] Good night, son.
Mrs. Ritter.[Beyond the flats] Good night, kid.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Going towards him] You shouldneverwalk off the stage, Teddy, in the middle of a scene! [He closes the door behind him, and, pressing his hand to his brow, starts towards the left.] Do something, no matter what it is! [He falls backward in a full-length faint. She catches him.] Oh, dear child! Mr. Spindler! Come here, Mr. Twiller, Teddy’s fainted! [Twiller, who has been standingover at the left, and forward, rushes towards her; and Mrs. Fell, followed by Hossefrosse, comes rushing from the right.]
Mrs. Fell.[In a panic] What’s the matter, Betty!
Mrs. Pampinelli.Take Teddy over to the door, Mr. Twiller, he’s fainted!
Twiller.[Dropping his cane, in his excitement] Ican’ttake him now, I’ve got a cue coming right here in a minute! [Spindler comes rushing down from the left.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Here, Mr. Spindler, take Teddy over to the door, where he’ll get some air! He’s sick. Look at the color of him. [She hands him to Spindler, who half carries him up at the left; and she and Twiller follow on behind them.] Hold on to him, now, Mr. Spindler.
Mrs. Fell.[Turning back towards the right door, and addressing Hossefrosse, who has returned to his former position down at the right] I always said he wasn’t strong enough for that part! [She just gets past the right door when it is frantically opened and Mrs. Ritter thrusts her head out.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Breathlessly] Mr. Twiller! [The door closes again.]
Mrs. Fell.[Running towards the left] Mr. Twiller! They’re waiting for you!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Rushing forward at the left] What is it?
Mrs. Fell.[In a perfect frenzy] They’re waiting for Mr. Twiller!
Mrs. Pampinelli.Mr. Twiller! [He snatches up his cane from the floor, but the hook of it catches in the stage-brace, and he has considerable yanking to do to get it loose. Mrs. Fell raps on the left door.] Go on, Mr. Twiller, for Heaven’s sake! the stage is waiting! [She pulls the door open for him. He straightens his hat and then raps on the wing beside the door.] Oh, go on! never mind rapping! that’s been done! [He steps through the door and she slams it after him, catching his left arm and hand. The cane is in his left hand, and it falls at Mrs. Pampinelli’s feet. She pulls the door open again to release his arm; then gives the door a definite slam. A burst of applause greets Twiller’s entrance. Mrs. Pampinelli is in a perfect wrath. She sweeps across towards the right, and back again all the way across to the left; then turns and starts back towards the right. As she passes the left door she sees Twiller’s cane, and, realizing in a flash that he will have need of it in his scene, she picks it up, opens the left door slightly, and flings it in onto the stage. Then she continues on towards the right, turns and crosses back again to the left, holding up her skirt and bristling with temper.]
Mrs. Fell.[Back at the right door, speaking to Hossefrosse, down at the right] How are my eyes? Instead of paying attention to his part!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Coming across to the right]People rehearsing their cues a thousand times, and then don’t know them when they hear them! It’s positively disgusting! [She turns and goes back again to the left, turns, and starts back to the right. Hossefrosse tiptoes towards her.]
Hossefrosse.What happened to Teddy, did he get sick out there?
Mrs. Pampinelli.No, just a little reaction. [Hossefrosse nods comprehendingly.] He gives too much to the scene. He doesn’t understand emotional conservation yet. [Hossefrosse shakes his head knowingly and returns to the right, and Mrs. Pampinelli steps to the left door and listens.]
Florence.[Just audibly, beyond the flats] She’s waiting for my very unpunctual husband. In fact, we are both waiting for him, to be precise. But I’ve just been telling her I’m afraid we may as well give it up, for he’s never kept an appointment in his life. I’m sorry he isn’t here, if you wanted to see him.
Twiller.[Beyond the flats] I don’t know whether I wanted to see him or not; it depends.
Florence.I don’t understand you.
Twiller.I don’t fully understand myself! [There is a very general laugh from beyond the flats. Mrs. Pampinelli looks anxiously at Nelly, and Nelly looks up at her from the manuscript.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.What wasthat?
Mrs. Fell.[Not having caught what she said] What?
Mrs. Pampinelli.What was that the audience was laughing at? [Mrs. Fell peeks through at the door where she is standing, then turns desperately to Mrs. Pampinelli.]
Mrs. Fell.Half of Mr. Twiller’s mustache fell off! [She looks through the peek again. Mrs. Pampinelli puts her hand against her brow and leans upon the stage-brace, the picture of tragedy. Mrs. Fell turns to her again.] I don’t think the audience noticed it, he stuck it right on again!
Mrs. Pampinelli.That doesn’t matter, there is absolutely no excuse for it! He’s been here since four o’clock this afternoon! [She crosses towards the left and back again.]
Florence.[Beyond the flats] What sort of a rumor was it, Mr. Rush, if I may ask?
Twiller.[Beyond the flats] The usual kind. [There’s another laugh from beyond the flats, and Mrs. Pampinelli stands petrified, just below the left door. Mrs. Fell turns quickly and peeks, then turns to Mrs. Pampinelli.]
Mrs. Fell.[Despairingly] It fell off again! [Mrs. Pampinelli raises her fists and shakes them.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Well, why on earth hasn’t he brains enough to leave it off!
Mrs. Fell.He has his hat on, too! [Mrs. Pampinelli steps to the left door and speaks through it.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Leave your mustacheoff, Mr.Twiller! Leave itoff!—And take off yourhat, you’re inside. [Hossefrosse tiptoes over from the right.]
Hossefrosse.What’s the matter, did his mustache fall off?
Mrs. Pampinelli.Yes, twice; and he keeps sticking it on again. [He shakes his head regretfully and tiptoes back to the right.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Beyond the flats] It’s perfectly ridiculous!
Florence.[Beyond the flats] Too bad my husband isn’t here.
Twiller.[Beyond the flats] Yes, it is; I had counted upon seeing him.
Florence.I’m sure he’d be able to explain.
Twiller.Well, I hope he would!—the thing is damned annoying! [Mrs. Ritter gives an unearthly laugh, which is supposed to express derision. Mrs. Fell looks up from her manuscript, and Mrs. Pampinelli smiles and nods approvingly at her.] Even ifyou don’tappreciate it!
Mrs. Fell.Wonderful. [She turns and smiles and nods at Hossefrosse; then they all listen again. The stage manager, who has arisen from his chair at the sound of Mrs. Ritter’s disdainful laughter, comes forward at the left, with his pipe in one hand and his newspaper in the other. He has a puzzled, inquiring expression, and looks from one to the other quizzically; but Mrs. Pampinelli has her back to him, Mrs. Fell is looking at her manuscript, and Mr. Hossefrosse’sface is, as usual, utterly expressionless, so he steps to the juncture of the back flats with the side wings and peeks through, curiously. Then he returns to his chair up at the left, shaking his head from side to side.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Beyond the flats] I don’t know what it is, yet!
Twiller.[Beyond the flats] You know very well what it is!
Mrs. Ritter.You haven’t told us.
Twiller.You’re here, aren’t you!
Mrs. Ritter.Yes.
Twiller.Well, that’s it, exactly! [Mrs. Pampinelli smiles approvingly, and moves towards the right.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Calling Hossefrosse, who is engaged in studying his lines from a paper, over at the right] Mr. Hossefrosse.
Mrs. Fell.[Turning to him] Huxley! [He looks up, and tiptoes towards Mrs. Pampinelli.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.How is this hall to speak in?
Hossefrosse.Why, I shouldn’t say it was good.
Mrs. Pampinelli.I thought not.
Hossefrosse.It’s too big for the speaking voice.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[With a gesture] You have toprojectthe tone, do you not?
Hossefrosse.Oh, yes, absolutely.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Taking a step towards the back flat, and listening] I’m afraid they’re not hearing Paula at all.
Hossefrosse.[Putting his fingers to his throat] I’m using my upper register almost entirely.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Glancing at him] You’re very fortunate to know how to do it.
Hossefrosse.Did it sound all right from back here?
Mrs. Pampinelli.Oh, splendid, yes, Mr. Hossefrosse!—your voice is beautiful. [He raises his hand deprecatingly.] Really,—I was just saying to Mrs. Fell, I’m so sorry there isn’t another act, that you might sing a solo between them. [He beams and deprecates again, profusely, and turns to the right. Spindler comes down at the left and towards Mrs. Pampinelli.] Really! Splendid. [She sees Spindler.] Where’s Teddy?
Spindler.He’s gone over to the drug store.
Mrs. Pampinelli.With his make-up on?
Spindler.He said he wanted to get some aromatic spirits of ammonia.
Mrs. Pampinelli.You have a cue right here soon, haven’t you?
Spindler.[Taking the telephone-arrangement from his pocket, and crossing towards the right door] Where are they?
Mrs. Fell.[Suddenly looking up from her manuscript] Telephone, Mr. Spindler!
Mrs. Pampinelli.There it is now, ring it!
Spindler.[Shaking it desperately] It won’t ring! [Mrs. Fell turns to Hossefrosse in desperation.]
Mrs. Pampinelli,Mrs. FellandHossefrosse, together.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Shake it harder, it rang before!Mrs. Fell.What’s the matter with the fool thing!Hossefrosse.Hit it against something, Mr. Spindler!
Mrs. Pampinelli.Shake it harder, it rang before!
Mrs. Fell.What’s the matter with the fool thing!
Hossefrosse.Hit it against something, Mr. Spindler!
Spindler.There’s something the matter with the battery!
Florence.[Audibly, from beyond the flats] Hello!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Relaxing] Let it go,—it’s too late now. [Spindler continues to tinker with it.] You’ve missed every other cue, [She moves towards the left.] you may as well be consistent for the rest of the evening.
Spindler.[Following her] Well, good night! I can’t help it if the electricity won’t work, can I?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning upon him furiously] You should have attended to it beforehand and then itwouldwork! [Mrs. Fell waves her hand at them, to be quiet.]
Spindler.Well, My God! I can’t be in a half-a-dozen places at the same time!
Mrs. Fell.Shush! [Hossefrosse tiptoes up to her and deplores the noise that Mrs. Pampinelli and Spindler are making.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.No one is asking you to be in half-a-dozen places at the same time! You’ve simply been asked to attend to your cues; and you’ve missed every one you’ve had!
Mrs. FellandHossefrosse, together. Shush!
Spindler.You told me to take care of Teddy, didn’t you?
Mrs. Pampinelli.I told you to take him to the door! Ididn’tsay to take him all the way to the drug store!
Spindler.Did you want me to let the man wander off somewhere by himself, and maybe die!
Mrs. Fell.[Waving her manuscript at them] Shus—sh!
Mrs. PampinelliandSpindler, together.
Spindler.Just for the sake of not missing a cue!Mrs. Pampinelli.[With bitter amusement] There is very little danger of his dying! And even if he did die, your duty is here! [She points to the floor with an imperative gesture. The right door is quietly pushed open, and Twiller, with one-half of his mustache gone, pokes his head out.]
Spindler.Just for the sake of not missing a cue!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[With bitter amusement] There is very little danger of his dying! And even if he did die, your duty is here! [She points to the floor with an imperative gesture. The right door is quietly pushed open, and Twiller, with one-half of his mustache gone, pokes his head out.]
Twiller.Shush! [He glances from one side to the other, withdraws his head, and quietly closes the door. Spindler crosses below Mrs. Pampinelli, to the left, then turns and looks at her angrily.]
Mrs. Fell.[Turning to Hossefrosse] What did I tell you! Making more noise out here than they are out there!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Still holding her gesture, but following Spindler with her eyes] Performances are never interrupted simply because one of the artists happens to die! If you were a professional you’d know that;but you’re not! [She turns away from him, towards the right, and, simultaneously, the left door is opened, almost striking her. She raises her arm to protect herself. Mrs. Ritter is standing in the doorway.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Speaking to Twiller, who is still beyond the flats] Look and see. [The telephone-arrangement in Spindler’s hands suddenly rings wildly.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning to him frantically] Oh, stop that thing! [Mrs. Ritter glances furtively over her left shoulder at Mrs. Pampinelli. Mrs. Fell comes rushing over, motioning to Spindler to stop the bell.]
Spindler.[Struggling with the bell] I can’t stop it! [Mrs. Ritter hastily steps back through the door and pulls it to after her.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Well, then, take it outside, where they can’t hear it! [Spindler scrambles towards the back and out of sight at the left. Mrs. Pampinelli starts back towards the right.]
Mrs. Fell.What’s the matter with that Spindler man, anyway!
Mrs. Pampinelli.I don’t know what’s the matter with him! I’ve given up thinking about him.
Mrs. Fell.He acts to me like a person that wouldn’t be in his right mind! [She goes back towards the right door.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Standing in the middle of the stage] He’s simply not a professional, that’s all. [The left door opens again and Mrs. Ritter is standing in it.Mrs. Pampinelli turns suddenly and looks at her. Mrs. Ritter repeats her unearthly laugh, which again arouses the curiosity of the stage manager, to the extent that he rises and comes forward again at the left to get a look at her. Then he returns to his chair, taking the door-slam with him, and standing it against the wing.]