Which pass for Gospel with the common Rabble,And edify more thanHugh Peter’sSermons;And make Fools bring more Grist to the publick Mill.Then, Sir, to wrest the Law to our convenienceIs no small, inconsiderate Work.Free.And which you may be hang’d for very shortly—[Aside.Lam.’Tis granted, my Lord, your Merit’s infinite—We made him Keeper of the Great Seal, ’tis true, ’tis Honour, but no Salary.Duc.Ten thousand Pound a Year in Bribes will do as well.Lam.Bribes are not so frequent now as in OldNoll’sDays.Hews.Well, my Lord, let us be brief and tedious, as the saying is, and humour one another: I’m forWhitlock’sAdvance.Lam.I move for a Salary, Gentlemen,Scobeland other petty Clerks have had a thousand a Year; my Lord sure merits more.Hews.Why—let him have two thousand then.Fleet.I profess ingeniously, with all my Heart.Whit.I humbly thank your Lordships—but, if I may be so bold to ask, from whence shall I receive it?Lam.Out of the Customs.Cob.Brotherly Love ought to go along with us—but, under favour, when this is gone, where shall we raise new Supplies?Lam.We’ll tax the Nation high, the City higher, They are our Friends, our most obsequious Slaves, Our Dogs to fetch and carry, our very Asses—Lov.And our Oxes, with the help of their Wives.[Aside.Lam.Besides, the City’s rich, and near her time, I hope, of being deliver’d.War.Wons a gued, wad I’d the laying o’ her, she shou’d be sweetly brought to Bed, by my Sol.Des.The City cares for noScotchPipers, my Lord.War.By my Sol, butshe has danc’d afterthe guedPipe of Reformation, when the Covenant Jigg gang’d maryly round, Sirs.Clerk.My Lords, here are some poor malignant Petitioners.Lam.Oh, turn ’em out, here’s nothing for ’em; these Fellows were petitioning my Lady to day—I thought she had given you a satisfactory Answer,Lov.She did indeed, my Lord: but ’tis a hard Case, to take away a Gentleman’s Estate, without convicting him of any Crime.Lam.Oh, Sir, we shall prove that hereafter.Lov.But to make sure Work, you’ll hang a Man first and examine his Offence afterwards; a Plague upon your Consciences: My Friend here had a little fairer Play; your Villains, your Witnesses in Pension swore him a Colonel for our glorious Master, of ever blessed Memory, at eight Years old; a Plague upon their Miracles.Fleet.Ingeniously, Sirrah, you shall be pillory’d for defaming our reverend Witnesses: Guards, take ’em to your Custody both.Free.Damn it, I shall miss my Assignation with LadyDesbro; a Pox of your unnecessary prating, what shall I do?[Guards take ’em away.Lam.And now, my Lords, we have finished the Business of the Day. My good LordFleetwood, I am entirely yours, and at our next sitting shall approve my self your Creature—Whit.My good Lord, I am your submissive Vassal.War.Wons, my Lord, I scorn any Man shou’d be mere yare Vassal than Archibald Johnson.[ToFleetwood.[Ex. All.Scene II.A Chamber in LadyDesbro’sHouse.Enter La.Desbro, andCorporalin haste.L. Des.Seiz’d on, secur’d! Was there no time but this? What made him at the Committee, or when there whyspoke he honest Truth? What shall I do, good Corporal? Advise; take Gold, and see if you can corrupt his Guards: but they are better paid for doing Mischief; yet try, their Consciences are large.[Gives him Gold.Cor.I’ll venture my Life in so good a Cause, Madam.[Exit.EnterTom.Tom.Madam, here’s Mr.Ananias Gogle, the Lay-Elder ofClement’sParish.L. Des.Damn the sham Saint; am I now in Condition to be plagu’d with his impertinent Nonsense?Tom.Oh! Pray, Madam,hear him preacha little; ’tis the purest Sport—EnterAnanias.Ana.Peace be in this Place.L. Des.A blessed hearing; he preaches nothing in his Conventicles, but Blood and Slaughter.[Aside.What wou’d you, Sir? I’m something busy now.Ana.Ah, the Children of the Elect have no Business but the great Work of Reformation: Yea verily, I say, all other Business is profane, and diabolical, and devilish; Yea, I say, these Dressings, Curls, and Shining Habilliments—which take so up your time, your precious time; I say, they are an Abomination, yea, an Abomination in the sight of the Righteous, and serve but as anIgnis fatuus, to lead vain Man astray—I say again—[Looking now and then behind on the Page.L. Des.—You are a very Coxcomb.Ana.I say again, that even I, upright I, one of the new Saints, find a sort of a—a—I know not what—a kind of a Motion as it were—a stirring up—as a Man may say, to wickedness—Yea, verily it corrupteth the outward Man within me.L. Des.Is this your Business, Sir, to rail against our Clothes, as if you intended to preach me into my Primitive Nakedness again?Ana.Ah, the naked Truth is best; but, Madam, I have a little work of Grace to communicate unto you, please you to send your Page away—L. Des.Withdraw—sure I can make my Party good with one wicked Elder:—Now, Sir, your Bus’ness.[Ex.Tom.—Be brief.Ana.As brief as you please—but—who in the sight of so muchBeau - - ty—can think of any Bus’ness but the Bus’ness—Ah! hide those tempting Breasts,—Alack, how smooth and warm they are—[Feeling ’em, and sneering.L. Des.How now, have you forgot your Function?Ana.Nay, but I am mortal Man also, and may fall seven times a day—Yea verily, I may fall seven times a day—Your Ladyship’s Husband is old,—and where there is a good excuse for falling,—ah, there the fall—ing—is excusable.—And might I but fall with your Ladyship,—might I, I say.—L. Des.How, this from you, the Head o’ th’ Church Militant, the very Pope of Presbytery?Ana.Verily, the Sin lieth in the Scandal; therefore most of the discreet pious Ladies of the Age chuse us, upright Men, who make a Conscience of a Secret, the Laity being more regardless of their Fame.—In sober sadness, the Place—inviteth, the Creature tempting, and the Spirit very violent within me.[Takes and ruffles her.L. Des.Who waits there?—I’m glad you have prov’d your self what I ever thought of all your pack of Knaves.Ana.Ah, Madam! Do not ruin my Reputation; there are Ladies of high Degree in the Commonwealth, to whom we find our selves most comforting; why might not you be one?—for, alas, we are accounted as able Men in Ladies Chambers, as in our Pulpits: we serve both Functions—Enter Servants.Hah! her Servants—[Stands at a distance.L. Des.Shou’d I tell this, I shou’d not find belief.[Aside.Ana.Madam, I have another Errand to your Ladiship.—It is the Duty of my Occupation to catechize the Heads of every Family within my Diocese; and you must answer some few Questions I shall ask.—In the first place, Madam,—Who made ye?L. Des.So, from Whoring, to a zealous Catechism—who made me? what Insolence is this, to ask me Questions which every Child that lisps out Words can answer!Ana.’Tis our Method, Madam.L. Des.Your Impudence, Sirrah,—let me examine your Faith, who are so sawcy to take an account of mine—Who made you? But lest you shou’d not know, I will inform you: First, Heav’n made you a deform’d, ill-favour’d Creature; then the Rascal your Father made you a Taylor; next, your Wife made you a Cuckold; and lastly the Devil has made you a Doctor; and so get you gone for a Fool and a Knave all over.Ana.A Man of my Coat affronted thus!L. Des.It shall be worse, Sirrah, my Husband shall know how kind you wou’d have been to him, because your Disciple and Benefactor, to have begot him a Babe of Grace for a Son and Heir.Ana.Mistake not my pious meaning, most gracious Lady.L. Des.I’ll set you out in your Colours: Your impudent and bloody Principles, your Cheats, your Rogueries on honest Men, thro their kind, deluded Wives, whom you cant and goggle into a Belief, ’tis a great work of Grace to steal, and beggar their whole Families, to contribute to your Gormandizing, Lust and Laziness; Ye Locusts of the Land, preach Nonsense, Blasphemy, and Treason, till you sweat again, that the sanctify’d Sisters may rub you down, to comfort and console the Creature.Ana.Ah! Am—L. Des.Sirrah, be gone, and trouble me no more—be gone—yet stay—the Rogue may be of use to me—Amongst the heap of Vice, Hypocrisy, and Devils thatpossess all your Party, you may have some necessary Sin; I’ve known some honest, useful Villains amongst you, that will swear, profess, and lye devoutedly for the Good Old Cause.Ana.Yea, verily, I hope there are many such, and I shou’d rejoice, yea, exceedingly rejoice in any Gadly Performance to your Ladiship.L. Des.This is a pious Work: You are a Knave of Credit, a very Saint with the rascally Rabble, with whom your seditious Cant more prevails, your precious Hum and Ha, and gifted Nonsense, than all the Rhetorick of the Learn’d or Honest.Ana.Hah!L. Des.—In fine, I have use of your Talent at present, there’s one now in Confinement of the Royal Party—his Name’sFreeman.Ana.And your Ladiship wou’d have him dispatch’d; I conceive ye—but wou’d you have him dispatch’d privately, or by Form of Law? we’ve Tools for all uses, and ’tis a pious Work, and meritorious.L. Des.Right, I wou’d indeed have him dispatch’d, and privately; but ’tis hither privately, hither to my Chamber, privately, for I have private Bus’ness with him. D’ye start?—this must be done—for you can pimp I’m sure upon occasion, you’ve Tools for all uses; come, resolve, or I’ll discover your bloody Offer. Is your Stomach so queasy it cannot digest Pimping, that can swallow Whoring, false Oaths, Sequestration, Robbery, Rapes, and Murders daily?Ana.Verily, you mistake my pious Meaning; it is the Malignant I stick at; the Person, not the Office: and in sadness, Madam, it goeth against my tender Conscience to do any good to one of the Wicked.L. Des.It must stretch at this time; go haste to the Guard, and demand him in my Husband’s Name; here’s something worth your Pains—having releas’d him, bring him to me, you understand me—go bid him be diligent,and as you behave your self, find my Favour; for know, Sir, I am as great a Hypocrite as you, and know the Cheats of your Religion too; and since we know one another, ’tis like we shall be true.Ana.But shou’d the Man be missing, and I call’d to account?—L. Des.He shall be return’d in an hour: go, get you gone, and bring him, or—no more—[Ex.Ana.For all degrees of Vices, you must grant,There is no Rogue like yourGenevaSaint.[Exeunt.ACT IV.Scene I.A Chamber in La.Desbro’sHouse. Candles, and Lights.Enter L.DesbroandFreeman.L. Des.By what strange Miracle, my dearestFreeman, wert thou set at liberty?Free.On the zealous Parole ofRabbie Ananias; that Rhetorick that can convert whole Congregations of well-meaning Blockheads to errant Knaves, has now mollify’d my Keeper; I’m to be render’d back within this Hour: let’s not, my dearMaria, lose the precious minutes this Reverend Hypocrite has given us.L. Des.Oh! you are very gay, have you forgot whose Prisoner you are, and that perhaps, e’er many Days are ended, they may hang you for High-Treason against the Commonwealth? they never want a good thorow-stitch’d Witness to do a Murder lawfully.Free.No matter, then I shall die with Joy,Maria, when I consider, that you lov’d so well to give me the last Proof on’t.L. Des.Are you in earnest,Freeman?and wou’d you take what Honour will not suffer me to grant?Free.With all my Heart, Honour’s a poor Excuse.Your Heart and Vows (your better part) are mine; you’ve only lent your Body out to one whom you call Husband, and whom Heaven has mark’d for Cuckoldom. Nay, ’tis an Act of honest Loyalty, so to revenge our Cause; whilst you were only mine, my honest Love thought it a Sin to press these Favours from you; ’twas injuring my self as well as thee; but now we only give and take our Right.L. Des.No more, my Husband’s old—Free.Right, my dearMaria, and therefore—L. Des.—May possibly die—Free.He will be hang’d first.L. Des.—I hope so—either of which will do our Bus’ness—unreasonableFreeman, not to have Patience till my Husband be hang’d a little.Free.But what if Destiny put the Change upon us, and I be hang’d instead ofDesbro?L. Des.Why then thou art not the first gallant Fellow that has died in the Good and Royal Cause; and a small taste of Happiness will but turn thee off the Ladder with the sadder Heart.Free.Hast thou the Conscience, lovely as thou art,To deal out all thy Beauty to a Traitor?Is not this Treason of the highest Nature,To rob the Royal Party of such Treasure,And give it to our mortal Enemies?For Shame, be wise, and just,And do not live a Rebel to our Cause;’Tis Sin enough to have Society with such a wicked Race.L. Des.But I am married to him.Free.So much the worse, to make a League and Covenant with such Villains, and keep the sinful Contract; a little harmless Lying and Dissimulation I’ll allow thee, but to be right down honest, ’tis the Devil.L. Des.This will not do, it never shall be said I’ve been so much debauch’d by Conventicling to turn a sainted Sinner; No, I’m true to my Allegiance still, true to myKing and Honour. Suspect my Loyalty when I lose my Virtue: a little time, I’m sure, will give me honestly into thy Arms; if thou hast Bravery, shew it in thy Love.Free.You will o’ercome, and shame me every way;—but when will this Change come? and till it do, what Pawn will you give me, I shall be happy then?L. Des.My Honour, and that Happiness you long for, and take but two Months time for their Redemption.Free.How greedily I’ll seize the Forfeiture!L. Des.But what am I like to get if this Change do come?Free.A Slave, and whatever you please to make of him.L. Des.Who knows, in such an universal Change, how you may alter too?Free.I’ll give ye Bond and Vows, unkindMaria,—Here take my Hand—Be it known unto all Men, by these Presents, that I,John FreemanofLondon, Gent, acknowledge my self in Debt toMaria Desbro, the Sum of one Heart, with an incurable Wound; one Soul, destin’d hers from its first Being; and one Body, whole, sound, and in perfect Health; which I here promise to pay to the saidMaria, upon Demand, if the aforesaidJohn Freemanbe not hang’d before such Demand made. Whereto I set my Hand—and seal it with my Lips.[In a Tone.L. Des.And I, in consideration of such Debt, do freely give unto the abovesaidJohn Freeman, the Heart and Body of the abovesaidMaria Desbro, with all Appurtenances thereto belonging, whenever it shall please Heaven to bring my Husband fairly to the Gallows.[In a Tone.Free.Amen—kiss the Book—[Kisses her.[Ana.hums without.L. Des.Hah! that’sAnanias; sure some Danger’s near, the necessary Rascalgives us notice of.Free.’Tis so, what wouldst thou have me do?L. Des.Thou art undone if seen—here, step within this Curtain.[He goes.EnterAnanias, humming, and spreading his Cloak wide;Desbrobehind him, puffing in a Chafe.Des.Ads nigs, what a Change is here like to be?—puff, puff—we have manag’d Matters sweetly—to let theScotchGeneral undermine us; puff, puff.L. Des.What’s the Matter?Des.Nothing, Cockey, nothing, but that we are like to return to our first nothing.Ana.Yea, verily, when our time’s come; but ah, the great Work of Reformation is not yet fully accomplish’d, which must be wrought by the Saints, and we cannot spare one of them until the Work be finish’d.Des.Yea, yea, it is finish’d I doubt, puff, puff: fie, fie, what a Change is here!Ana.Patience, ah, ’tis a precious Virtue!—Des.Patience, Sir! what, when I shall lose so many fine Estates which did appertain to the Wicked; and which, I trusted, had been establish’d ours, and tell’st thou me of Patience? puff, puff.[Walking fast.Ana.How! lose ’em, Sir? handle the matter with Patience; I hope the Committee of Safety, or the Rump, will not do an illegal thing to one of the Brethren.Des.No, no, I have been a trusty Knave to them, and so I have found them all to me: butMonk! Monk!O that ever we should be such blind Fools to trust an honest General!Ana.Patience, Sir! what of him?Des.I just now receiv’d private Intelligence, he’s coming out ofScotlandwith his Forces—puff, puff.Ana.Why, let himcome a Gad’s Name, we have those will give him a civil Salute, if he mean not honourably to the Commonwealth. Patience, Sir.Des.But if he proves the stronger, and shou’d chance to be so great a Traitor to us, to bring in the Man—the King.L. Des.How, the King, Husband! the great Heroick!Free.Death, this Woman is a Sybil: ah, nobleMonk!Ana.Hum—the King!—Des.Ah, and with the King, the Bishops; and then, where’s all our Church and Bishops Lands! oh, undone—puff, puff.Ana.How, bring in the King and Bishops! my righteous Spirit is raised too—I say, I will excommunicate him for one of the Wicked, yea, for a profane Heroick, a Malignant, a Tory,—a—I say, we will surround him, and confound him with a mighty Host; yea, and fight the Lard’s Battel with him: yea, we will—Des.Truckle to his Pow’r—puff, puff.Ana.Nay, I say verily, nay; for, in Sadness, I will die in my Calling.Des.So I doubt shall I—which is Ploughing, Hedging, and Ditching.Ana.Yea, we have the Sword of the Righteous in our Hand, and we will defend the mighty Revenues of the Church, whichthe Lard hath givenunto his People, and chosen ones—I say, we will defend—Des.Ah, Patience, Sir, ah, ’tis a pious Virtue—Ana.Ah, it is Zeal in one of us, the Out-goings of the Spirit.EnterTom.Tom.Sir, will you go down to Prayers? the Chaplain waits.Des.No, no, Boy, I am too serious for that Exercise, I cannot now dissemble, Heav’n forgive me.Ana.How, Sir, not dissemble—ah, then you have lost a great Virtue indeed, a very great Virtue; ah, let us not give away the Good Old Cause—but, aswe have hitherto maintain’dit by gadly Cozenage, and pious Frauds, let us persevere—ah, let us persevere to the end; let us not lose our Heritage for a Mess of Pottage, that is, let us not lose the Cause for Dissimulation and Hypocrisy, those two main Engines that have earned on the great Work.Des.Verily, you have prevail’d, and I will go takecounsel of my Pillow: Boy—call my Man to undress me—I’ll to Bed, for I am sick at Heart.[Ex.Tom.Free.Death, what shall I do now?[Des.walks, she whispersAna.L. Des.You must get my Man off, or we’re undone.Ana.Madam, be comforted, Heaven will bring all things about for our Advantage—[AsDes.turns.L. Des.But he’s behind the Curtains, Man—[Des.turns from ’em.Ana.Ah, let Providence alone—[Spreads his Cloak wide, and goes by degrees toward the Bed.]—Your pious Lady, Sir, is doubtful, but I will give her ample Satisfaction.Des.Ah, do, Mr.Ananias, do, for she’s a good and virtuous Lady,certoshe is.[Ana.goes close to the Bed-post, and speaks over his Shoulder.Ana.Get ye behind my Cloak—L. Des.Indeed, Sir, your Counsel and Assistance is very comfortable.Ana.We should be Help-meets to one another, Madam.Des.Alack, good Man![L.Des.goes to coax her Husband.L. Des.Ay, my dear, I am so much oblig’d to him, that I know not, without thy Aid, how to make him amends.Free.So, this is the first Cloak of Zeal I ever made use of.[Ana.going, spreading his Cloak, to the Door;Free.behind goes out.Des.Good Lady, give him his twenty pieces, adad, he worthily deserves ’em.[Gives her Gold.L. Des.Indeed, and so he does, Dear, if thou knew’st all.—What say you now, do I not improve in Hypocrisy? And shall I not in time make a precious Member of your Church?[ToAna.Ana.Verily, your Ladyship is most ingenious and expert.—Sir, I most humbly take my leave.[Ex.Ana.EnterTom.Tom.My Lord, my LordLamberthas sent in all haste for you, you must attend at his House immediately.Des.So, he has heard the News—I must away—let my Coach be ready.[Ex.Des.L. Des.How unlucky was this thatFreemanshould be gone—Sirrah, run and see to o’ertake him, and bring him back.[Exeunt.Scene II.A fine Chamber in La.Lambert’sHouse.EnterGilliflowerandLovelessby dark, richly drest.Lov.Where am I,Gilliflower?Gill.In my Lady’s Apartment, Sir, she’ll be with you presently; you need not fear betraying, Sir, for I’ll assure you I’m an Heroick in my Heart: my Husband was a Captain for his Majesty of ever-blessed Memory, and kill’d at Naseby, God be thanked, Sir.Lov.What pity ’tis that thou shouldst serve this Party?Gill.Bating her Principles, my Lady has good Nature enough to oblige a Servant; and truly, Sir, myVailswere good in oldOliver’sDays; I got well by that Amour between him and my Lady; the man was lavish enough.Lov.Yes, of the Nation’s Treasure—but prithee tell me, is not thy Lady mad, raving on Crowns and Kingdoms?Gill.It appears so to you, who are not us’d to the Vanity of the Party, but they are all so mad in their Degree, and in the Fit they talk of nothing else, Sir: we have tomorrow a Hearing as they call it.Lov.What’s that, a Conventicle?Gill.No, no, Sir, Ladies of the last Edition, that present their Grievances to the Council of Ladies, of which my Lady’s chief, which Grievances are laid open to the Committee of Safety, and so redress’d or slighted, as they are.Lov.That must be worth one’s Curiosity, could one but see’t.Gill.We admit no Man, Sir.Lov.’Sdeath, for so good a sight I will turn Woman, I’ll act it to a hair.Gill.That would be excellent.Lov.Nay, I must do’t; the Novelty is rare—but I’m impatient—prithee let thy Lady know I wait.Gill.She’s in Affairs of State, but will be here immediately; mean time, retire into her Cabinet, I’ll send the Page with Lights, there you may repose till my Lady comes, on the Pallat.[She leads him out.Scene III.A great Chamber of State, and Canopy inLambert’sHouse.And at a Table, seatedLambert,Fleetwood,Desbro,Hewson,Duckenfield,Wariston,Cobbet; all half drunk, with Bottles and Glasses on the Table; L.Lam.and L.Fleet.Lam.My LordWariston, you are not merry to night.War.Wons, Mon, thisMonksticks in my Gullet, the muckle Diel pull him out by th’ Lugs; the faud Loone will en spoyle and our Sport, mon.Lam.I thought I had enough satisfied all your Fears; the Army’s mine, that is,—’tis yours, my Lords, and I’ll imploy it too so well for the Good of the Commonwealth, you shall have Cause to commend both my Courage and Conduct; my LordWariston, will you accompany me?War.Ah, my gued Lord, the Honour is too great. ’Tis not but I’s dare fight, my Lord, but I love not the limmer Loone, he has a villanous honest Face an’s ene; I’s ken’d him ence, and lik’t him not; butI’s drink tol yar gued Fortune; let it gang aboote, ene and ad, Sirs.[All drink.Lam.We’ll leave all Discourse of Bus’ness, and give our selves to Mirth; I fancy good Success from this day’s Omen.EntersGill, whispers L.Lam.she rises.L. Lam.Waited so long!Gill.And grew impatient, an’t please your Highness; must I go tell him you cannot see him to night.L. Lam.Not for the World; my silly Politician will beBusying himself in the dull Affairs of State;—Dull in comparison of Love, I mean;I never lov’d before; oldOliverI suffer’d for my Interest,And ’tis some Greatness, to be Mistress to the best;But this mighty Pleasure comesa propos,To sweeten all the heavy Toils of Empire.Gill.So it does, an’t please your Highness.L. Lam.Go, let him know I’m coming—Madam, I must beg your Pardon; you hear, my Lord to morrow goes on his great Expedition; and, for any thing we know, may fall a glorious Sacrifice to the Commonwealth; therefore ’tis meet I offer up some Prayers for his Safety, and all my leisure Hours ’twixt this and that, will be too few—Your humble Servant, Madam.[Ex. L.Lam.andGill.L. Fleet.My Dear, I’ll leave you too, my time of Devotion is come, and Heav’n will stay for no Body; where are my People? is my Coach ready, or my Chair?Fleet.Go in your Chair, my Love, lest you catch cold.L. Fleet.Andlight your Flambeaus,—I love to have my Chair surrounded with Flambeaus.EnterPage.Page.Your Chair is ready, Madam.[She goes out led byFleet.Hews.What think ye now, my Lords, of settling the Nation a little? I find my Head swim with Politicks, and what ye call ums.War.Wons, and wad ya settle the Nationwhen we realour selves?Hews.Who, pox, shall we stand making Childrens Shoes all the Year? No, no, let’s begin to settle the Nation, I say, and go thro-stitch with our Work.Duc.Right, we have no Head to obey; so that if thisScotchGeneral do come whilst we Dogs fight for the Bone, he runs away with it.Hews.Shaw, we shall patch up matters with theScotchGeneral, I’ll warrant you: However, here’s to our next Head—One and all.[All drink.Fleet.Verily, Sirs, this Health-drinking savoureth of Monarchy, and is a Type of Malignancy.War.Bread, my Lord, no preachingo’er yar Liquer, wee’s now for a Cup o’ th’ Creature.Cob.In a gadly way you may; it is lawful.Lam.Come, come, we’re dull, give us some Musick—come, my Lord, I’ll give you a Song, I love Musick as I do a Drum, there’s Life and Soul in’t, call my Musick.Fleet.Yea, I am for any Musick, except an Organ.War.Sbread, Sirs, andI’s for a Horn-pipe, I’ve a faud Theefe here shall dance ye Dance tol a Horn-pipe, with any States-man a ya aud.All.He, he, he.Duc.I know not what your faud Theefe can do; but I’ll hold you a Wager, ColonelHewson, and ColonelDesbroshall dance ye the Seint’s Jigg with any Sinner of your Kirk, or field Conventicler.War.Wons, and I’s catch ’em at that Sport, I’s dance tol ’em for aScotchPoond; but farstyar Song, my Lord, I hope ’tis boody, or else ’tis not werth a Feart.All.He, he, he.SONG, sung by my LordLambert.A Pox of the States-man that’s witty,That watches and plots all the sleepless Night,For seditious Harangues to theWhigsof the City,And piously turns a Traitor in spite.Let him wrack, and torment his lean Carrion,To bring his sham-Plots about,Till Religion, King, Bishop, and Baron,For the publick Good, be quite routed out.Whilst we that are no Politicians,But Rogues that are resolute, bare-fac’d and great,Boldly head the rude Rabble in open Sedition,Bearing all down before us in Church and in State.Your Impudence is the best State-trick,And he that by Law means to rule,Let his History with ours be related,Tho we prove the Knaves, ’tis he is the Fool.War.The Diel a me, wele sung, my Lord, and gen aud Trades fail, yas make a quaint Minstrel.All.He, he, he.War.Noo, Sirs, yar Dance?[They fling Cushions at one another, and grin. Musick plays.]—Marry, Sirs, an this be yar dancing, tol dance and ne’er stir Stap, the Diellead the DonceforArchibald.[When they have flung Cushions thus a while to the Musick time, they beat each other from the Table, one by one, and fall into a godly Dance; after a while,Waristonrises, and dances ridiculously a while amongst them; then to the Time of the Tune, they take out the rest, as at theCushion-Dance, or in that nature.Waristonbeing the last taken in, leads the rest.—Haud, Minstrels, haud; Bread a gued. I’s fatch ad Ladies in—lead away, Minstrels, tol my Lady’s Apartment.[Musick playing before all.[Exeunt dancing.Scene IV.Flat.EnterPage.Page.Cock, Here must I wait, to give my Lady notice when my Lord approaches;—The fine Gentleman that is alone with her, gave me these two fine Pieces of Gold, and bad me buy a Sword to fight for the King withal; and I’m resolv’d to lay it all out in a Sword, not a penny inNickers, and fight for the Heroicks as long as I have aLimb, if they be all such fine Men as this within. But hark, sure I hear some coming.—[Exit.[Flat Scene draws off, discovers L.Lam.on a Couch, withLoveless, tying a rich Diamond-Bracelet about his Arm: a Table behind with Lights, on which a Velvet Cushion, with a Crown and Scepter cover’d.Lov.This Present’s too magnificent: such Bracelets young Monarchs shou’d put on.L. Lam.Persons like me, when they make Presents, Sir, must do it for their Glory, not considering the Merit of the Wearer: yet this, my charmingLoveless, comes short of what I ought to pay thy Worth; comes short too of my Love.Lov.You bless me, Madam—L. Lam.This the great Monarch of the World once ty’d about my Arm, and bad me wear it, till some greater Man shou’d chance to win my Heart;
Which pass for Gospel with the common Rabble,And edify more thanHugh Peter’sSermons;And make Fools bring more Grist to the publick Mill.Then, Sir, to wrest the Law to our convenienceIs no small, inconsiderate Work.
Which pass for Gospel with the common Rabble,
And edify more thanHugh Peter’sSermons;
And make Fools bring more Grist to the publick Mill.
Then, Sir, to wrest the Law to our convenience
Is no small, inconsiderate Work.
Free.And which you may be hang’d for very shortly—[Aside.
Lam.’Tis granted, my Lord, your Merit’s infinite—We made him Keeper of the Great Seal, ’tis true, ’tis Honour, but no Salary.
Duc.Ten thousand Pound a Year in Bribes will do as well.
Lam.Bribes are not so frequent now as in OldNoll’sDays.
Hews.Well, my Lord, let us be brief and tedious, as the saying is, and humour one another: I’m forWhitlock’sAdvance.
Lam.I move for a Salary, Gentlemen,Scobeland other petty Clerks have had a thousand a Year; my Lord sure merits more.
Hews.Why—let him have two thousand then.
Fleet.I profess ingeniously, with all my Heart.
Whit.I humbly thank your Lordships—but, if I may be so bold to ask, from whence shall I receive it?
Lam.Out of the Customs.
Cob.Brotherly Love ought to go along with us—but, under favour, when this is gone, where shall we raise new Supplies?
Lam.We’ll tax the Nation high, the City higher, They are our Friends, our most obsequious Slaves, Our Dogs to fetch and carry, our very Asses—
Lov.And our Oxes, with the help of their Wives.[Aside.
Lam.Besides, the City’s rich, and near her time, I hope, of being deliver’d.
War.Wons a gued, wad I’d the laying o’ her, she shou’d be sweetly brought to Bed, by my Sol.
Des.The City cares for noScotchPipers, my Lord.
War.By my Sol, butshe has danc’d afterthe guedPipe of Reformation, when the Covenant Jigg gang’d maryly round, Sirs.
Clerk.My Lords, here are some poor malignant Petitioners.
Lam.Oh, turn ’em out, here’s nothing for ’em; these Fellows were petitioning my Lady to day—I thought she had given you a satisfactory Answer,
Lov.She did indeed, my Lord: but ’tis a hard Case, to take away a Gentleman’s Estate, without convicting him of any Crime.
Lam.Oh, Sir, we shall prove that hereafter.
Lov.But to make sure Work, you’ll hang a Man first and examine his Offence afterwards; a Plague upon your Consciences: My Friend here had a little fairer Play; your Villains, your Witnesses in Pension swore him a Colonel for our glorious Master, of ever blessed Memory, at eight Years old; a Plague upon their Miracles.
Fleet.Ingeniously, Sirrah, you shall be pillory’d for defaming our reverend Witnesses: Guards, take ’em to your Custody both.
Free.Damn it, I shall miss my Assignation with LadyDesbro; a Pox of your unnecessary prating, what shall I do?[Guards take ’em away.
Lam.And now, my Lords, we have finished the Business of the Day. My good LordFleetwood, I am entirely yours, and at our next sitting shall approve my self your Creature—
Whit.My good Lord, I am your submissive Vassal.
War.Wons, my Lord, I scorn any Man shou’d be mere yare Vassal than Archibald Johnson.[ToFleetwood.
[Ex. All.
Scene II.A Chamber in LadyDesbro’sHouse.
Enter La.Desbro, andCorporalin haste.
L. Des.Seiz’d on, secur’d! Was there no time but this? What made him at the Committee, or when there whyspoke he honest Truth? What shall I do, good Corporal? Advise; take Gold, and see if you can corrupt his Guards: but they are better paid for doing Mischief; yet try, their Consciences are large.[Gives him Gold.
Cor.I’ll venture my Life in so good a Cause, Madam.[Exit.
EnterTom.
Tom.Madam, here’s Mr.Ananias Gogle, the Lay-Elder ofClement’sParish.
L. Des.Damn the sham Saint; am I now in Condition to be plagu’d with his impertinent Nonsense?
Tom.Oh! Pray, Madam,hear him preacha little; ’tis the purest Sport—
EnterAnanias.
Ana.Peace be in this Place.
L. Des.A blessed hearing; he preaches nothing in his Conventicles, but Blood and Slaughter.[Aside.
What wou’d you, Sir? I’m something busy now.
Ana.Ah, the Children of the Elect have no Business but the great Work of Reformation: Yea verily, I say, all other Business is profane, and diabolical, and devilish; Yea, I say, these Dressings, Curls, and Shining Habilliments—which take so up your time, your precious time; I say, they are an Abomination, yea, an Abomination in the sight of the Righteous, and serve but as anIgnis fatuus, to lead vain Man astray—I say again—[Looking now and then behind on the Page.
L. Des.—You are a very Coxcomb.
Ana.I say again, that even I, upright I, one of the new Saints, find a sort of a—a—I know not what—a kind of a Motion as it were—a stirring up—as a Man may say, to wickedness—Yea, verily it corrupteth the outward Man within me.
L. Des.Is this your Business, Sir, to rail against our Clothes, as if you intended to preach me into my Primitive Nakedness again?
Ana.Ah, the naked Truth is best; but, Madam, I have a little work of Grace to communicate unto you, please you to send your Page away—
L. Des.Withdraw—sure I can make my Party good with one wicked Elder:—Now, Sir, your Bus’ness.[Ex.Tom.
—Be brief.
Ana.As brief as you please—but—who in the sight of so muchBeau - - ty—can think of any Bus’ness but the Bus’ness—Ah! hide those tempting Breasts,—Alack, how smooth and warm they are—[Feeling ’em, and sneering.
L. Des.How now, have you forgot your Function?
Ana.Nay, but I am mortal Man also, and may fall seven times a day—Yea verily, I may fall seven times a day—Your Ladyship’s Husband is old,—and where there is a good excuse for falling,—ah, there the fall—ing—is excusable.—And might I but fall with your Ladyship,—might I, I say.—
L. Des.How, this from you, the Head o’ th’ Church Militant, the very Pope of Presbytery?
Ana.Verily, the Sin lieth in the Scandal; therefore most of the discreet pious Ladies of the Age chuse us, upright Men, who make a Conscience of a Secret, the Laity being more regardless of their Fame.—In sober sadness, the Place—inviteth, the Creature tempting, and the Spirit very violent within me.[Takes and ruffles her.
L. Des.Who waits there?—I’m glad you have prov’d your self what I ever thought of all your pack of Knaves.
Ana.Ah, Madam! Do not ruin my Reputation; there are Ladies of high Degree in the Commonwealth, to whom we find our selves most comforting; why might not you be one?—for, alas, we are accounted as able Men in Ladies Chambers, as in our Pulpits: we serve both Functions—
Enter Servants.
Hah! her Servants—[Stands at a distance.
L. Des.Shou’d I tell this, I shou’d not find belief.[Aside.
Ana.Madam, I have another Errand to your Ladiship.—It is the Duty of my Occupation to catechize the Heads of every Family within my Diocese; and you must answer some few Questions I shall ask.—In the first place, Madam,—Who made ye?
L. Des.So, from Whoring, to a zealous Catechism—who made me? what Insolence is this, to ask me Questions which every Child that lisps out Words can answer!
Ana.’Tis our Method, Madam.
L. Des.Your Impudence, Sirrah,—let me examine your Faith, who are so sawcy to take an account of mine—Who made you? But lest you shou’d not know, I will inform you: First, Heav’n made you a deform’d, ill-favour’d Creature; then the Rascal your Father made you a Taylor; next, your Wife made you a Cuckold; and lastly the Devil has made you a Doctor; and so get you gone for a Fool and a Knave all over.
Ana.A Man of my Coat affronted thus!
L. Des.It shall be worse, Sirrah, my Husband shall know how kind you wou’d have been to him, because your Disciple and Benefactor, to have begot him a Babe of Grace for a Son and Heir.
Ana.Mistake not my pious meaning, most gracious Lady.
L. Des.I’ll set you out in your Colours: Your impudent and bloody Principles, your Cheats, your Rogueries on honest Men, thro their kind, deluded Wives, whom you cant and goggle into a Belief, ’tis a great work of Grace to steal, and beggar their whole Families, to contribute to your Gormandizing, Lust and Laziness; Ye Locusts of the Land, preach Nonsense, Blasphemy, and Treason, till you sweat again, that the sanctify’d Sisters may rub you down, to comfort and console the Creature.
Ana.Ah! Am—
L. Des.Sirrah, be gone, and trouble me no more—be gone—yet stay—the Rogue may be of use to me—Amongst the heap of Vice, Hypocrisy, and Devils thatpossess all your Party, you may have some necessary Sin; I’ve known some honest, useful Villains amongst you, that will swear, profess, and lye devoutedly for the Good Old Cause.
Ana.Yea, verily, I hope there are many such, and I shou’d rejoice, yea, exceedingly rejoice in any Gadly Performance to your Ladiship.
L. Des.This is a pious Work: You are a Knave of Credit, a very Saint with the rascally Rabble, with whom your seditious Cant more prevails, your precious Hum and Ha, and gifted Nonsense, than all the Rhetorick of the Learn’d or Honest.
Ana.Hah!
L. Des.—In fine, I have use of your Talent at present, there’s one now in Confinement of the Royal Party—his Name’sFreeman.
Ana.And your Ladiship wou’d have him dispatch’d; I conceive ye—but wou’d you have him dispatch’d privately, or by Form of Law? we’ve Tools for all uses, and ’tis a pious Work, and meritorious.
L. Des.Right, I wou’d indeed have him dispatch’d, and privately; but ’tis hither privately, hither to my Chamber, privately, for I have private Bus’ness with him. D’ye start?—this must be done—for you can pimp I’m sure upon occasion, you’ve Tools for all uses; come, resolve, or I’ll discover your bloody Offer. Is your Stomach so queasy it cannot digest Pimping, that can swallow Whoring, false Oaths, Sequestration, Robbery, Rapes, and Murders daily?
Ana.Verily, you mistake my pious Meaning; it is the Malignant I stick at; the Person, not the Office: and in sadness, Madam, it goeth against my tender Conscience to do any good to one of the Wicked.
L. Des.It must stretch at this time; go haste to the Guard, and demand him in my Husband’s Name; here’s something worth your Pains—having releas’d him, bring him to me, you understand me—go bid him be diligent,and as you behave your self, find my Favour; for know, Sir, I am as great a Hypocrite as you, and know the Cheats of your Religion too; and since we know one another, ’tis like we shall be true.
Ana.But shou’d the Man be missing, and I call’d to account?—
L. Des.He shall be return’d in an hour: go, get you gone, and bring him, or—no more—[Ex.Ana.
For all degrees of Vices, you must grant,There is no Rogue like yourGenevaSaint.[Exeunt.
For all degrees of Vices, you must grant,
There is no Rogue like yourGenevaSaint.[Exeunt.
ACT IV.
Scene I.A Chamber in La.Desbro’sHouse. Candles, and Lights.
Enter L.DesbroandFreeman.
L. Des.By what strange Miracle, my dearestFreeman, wert thou set at liberty?
Free.On the zealous Parole ofRabbie Ananias; that Rhetorick that can convert whole Congregations of well-meaning Blockheads to errant Knaves, has now mollify’d my Keeper; I’m to be render’d back within this Hour: let’s not, my dearMaria, lose the precious minutes this Reverend Hypocrite has given us.
L. Des.Oh! you are very gay, have you forgot whose Prisoner you are, and that perhaps, e’er many Days are ended, they may hang you for High-Treason against the Commonwealth? they never want a good thorow-stitch’d Witness to do a Murder lawfully.
Free.No matter, then I shall die with Joy,Maria, when I consider, that you lov’d so well to give me the last Proof on’t.
L. Des.Are you in earnest,Freeman?and wou’d you take what Honour will not suffer me to grant?
Free.With all my Heart, Honour’s a poor Excuse.Your Heart and Vows (your better part) are mine; you’ve only lent your Body out to one whom you call Husband, and whom Heaven has mark’d for Cuckoldom. Nay, ’tis an Act of honest Loyalty, so to revenge our Cause; whilst you were only mine, my honest Love thought it a Sin to press these Favours from you; ’twas injuring my self as well as thee; but now we only give and take our Right.
L. Des.No more, my Husband’s old—
Free.Right, my dearMaria, and therefore—
L. Des.—May possibly die—
Free.He will be hang’d first.
L. Des.—I hope so—either of which will do our Bus’ness—unreasonableFreeman, not to have Patience till my Husband be hang’d a little.
Free.But what if Destiny put the Change upon us, and I be hang’d instead ofDesbro?
L. Des.Why then thou art not the first gallant Fellow that has died in the Good and Royal Cause; and a small taste of Happiness will but turn thee off the Ladder with the sadder Heart.
Free.Hast thou the Conscience, lovely as thou art,To deal out all thy Beauty to a Traitor?Is not this Treason of the highest Nature,To rob the Royal Party of such Treasure,And give it to our mortal Enemies?For Shame, be wise, and just,And do not live a Rebel to our Cause;’Tis Sin enough to have Society with such a wicked Race.
Free.Hast thou the Conscience, lovely as thou art,
To deal out all thy Beauty to a Traitor?
Is not this Treason of the highest Nature,
To rob the Royal Party of such Treasure,
And give it to our mortal Enemies?
For Shame, be wise, and just,
And do not live a Rebel to our Cause;
’Tis Sin enough to have Society with such a wicked Race.
L. Des.But I am married to him.
Free.So much the worse, to make a League and Covenant with such Villains, and keep the sinful Contract; a little harmless Lying and Dissimulation I’ll allow thee, but to be right down honest, ’tis the Devil.
L. Des.This will not do, it never shall be said I’ve been so much debauch’d by Conventicling to turn a sainted Sinner; No, I’m true to my Allegiance still, true to myKing and Honour. Suspect my Loyalty when I lose my Virtue: a little time, I’m sure, will give me honestly into thy Arms; if thou hast Bravery, shew it in thy Love.
Free.You will o’ercome, and shame me every way;—but when will this Change come? and till it do, what Pawn will you give me, I shall be happy then?
L. Des.My Honour, and that Happiness you long for, and take but two Months time for their Redemption.
Free.How greedily I’ll seize the Forfeiture!
L. Des.But what am I like to get if this Change do come?
Free.A Slave, and whatever you please to make of him.
L. Des.Who knows, in such an universal Change, how you may alter too?
Free.I’ll give ye Bond and Vows, unkindMaria,—Here take my Hand—Be it known unto all Men, by these Presents, that I,John FreemanofLondon, Gent, acknowledge my self in Debt toMaria Desbro, the Sum of one Heart, with an incurable Wound; one Soul, destin’d hers from its first Being; and one Body, whole, sound, and in perfect Health; which I here promise to pay to the saidMaria, upon Demand, if the aforesaidJohn Freemanbe not hang’d before such Demand made. Whereto I set my Hand—and seal it with my Lips.[In a Tone.
L. Des.And I, in consideration of such Debt, do freely give unto the abovesaidJohn Freeman, the Heart and Body of the abovesaidMaria Desbro, with all Appurtenances thereto belonging, whenever it shall please Heaven to bring my Husband fairly to the Gallows.[In a Tone.
Free.Amen—kiss the Book—[Kisses her.
[Ana.hums without.
L. Des.Hah! that’sAnanias; sure some Danger’s near, the necessary Rascalgives us notice of.
Free.’Tis so, what wouldst thou have me do?
L. Des.Thou art undone if seen—here, step within this Curtain.[He goes.
EnterAnanias, humming, and spreading his Cloak wide;Desbrobehind him, puffing in a Chafe.
Des.Ads nigs, what a Change is here like to be?—puff, puff—we have manag’d Matters sweetly—to let theScotchGeneral undermine us; puff, puff.
L. Des.What’s the Matter?
Des.Nothing, Cockey, nothing, but that we are like to return to our first nothing.
Ana.Yea, verily, when our time’s come; but ah, the great Work of Reformation is not yet fully accomplish’d, which must be wrought by the Saints, and we cannot spare one of them until the Work be finish’d.
Des.Yea, yea, it is finish’d I doubt, puff, puff: fie, fie, what a Change is here!
Ana.Patience, ah, ’tis a precious Virtue!—
Des.Patience, Sir! what, when I shall lose so many fine Estates which did appertain to the Wicked; and which, I trusted, had been establish’d ours, and tell’st thou me of Patience? puff, puff.[Walking fast.
Ana.How! lose ’em, Sir? handle the matter with Patience; I hope the Committee of Safety, or the Rump, will not do an illegal thing to one of the Brethren.
Des.No, no, I have been a trusty Knave to them, and so I have found them all to me: butMonk! Monk!O that ever we should be such blind Fools to trust an honest General!
Ana.Patience, Sir! what of him?
Des.I just now receiv’d private Intelligence, he’s coming out ofScotlandwith his Forces—puff, puff.
Ana.Why, let himcome a Gad’s Name, we have those will give him a civil Salute, if he mean not honourably to the Commonwealth. Patience, Sir.
Des.But if he proves the stronger, and shou’d chance to be so great a Traitor to us, to bring in the Man—the King.
L. Des.How, the King, Husband! the great Heroick!
Free.Death, this Woman is a Sybil: ah, nobleMonk!
Ana.Hum—the King!—
Des.Ah, and with the King, the Bishops; and then, where’s all our Church and Bishops Lands! oh, undone—puff, puff.
Ana.How, bring in the King and Bishops! my righteous Spirit is raised too—I say, I will excommunicate him for one of the Wicked, yea, for a profane Heroick, a Malignant, a Tory,—a—I say, we will surround him, and confound him with a mighty Host; yea, and fight the Lard’s Battel with him: yea, we will—
Des.Truckle to his Pow’r—puff, puff.
Ana.Nay, I say verily, nay; for, in Sadness, I will die in my Calling.
Des.So I doubt shall I—which is Ploughing, Hedging, and Ditching.
Ana.Yea, we have the Sword of the Righteous in our Hand, and we will defend the mighty Revenues of the Church, whichthe Lard hath givenunto his People, and chosen ones—I say, we will defend—
Des.Ah, Patience, Sir, ah, ’tis a pious Virtue—
Ana.Ah, it is Zeal in one of us, the Out-goings of the Spirit.
EnterTom.
Tom.Sir, will you go down to Prayers? the Chaplain waits.
Des.No, no, Boy, I am too serious for that Exercise, I cannot now dissemble, Heav’n forgive me.
Ana.How, Sir, not dissemble—ah, then you have lost a great Virtue indeed, a very great Virtue; ah, let us not give away the Good Old Cause—but, aswe have hitherto maintain’dit by gadly Cozenage, and pious Frauds, let us persevere—ah, let us persevere to the end; let us not lose our Heritage for a Mess of Pottage, that is, let us not lose the Cause for Dissimulation and Hypocrisy, those two main Engines that have earned on the great Work.
Des.Verily, you have prevail’d, and I will go takecounsel of my Pillow: Boy—call my Man to undress me—I’ll to Bed, for I am sick at Heart.[Ex.Tom.
Free.Death, what shall I do now?
[Des.walks, she whispersAna.
L. Des.You must get my Man off, or we’re undone.
Ana.Madam, be comforted, Heaven will bring all things about for our Advantage—[AsDes.turns.
L. Des.But he’s behind the Curtains, Man—
[Des.turns from ’em.
Ana.Ah, let Providence alone—[Spreads his Cloak wide, and goes by degrees toward the Bed.]—Your pious Lady, Sir, is doubtful, but I will give her ample Satisfaction.
Des.Ah, do, Mr.Ananias, do, for she’s a good and virtuous Lady,certoshe is.
[Ana.goes close to the Bed-post, and speaks over his Shoulder.
Ana.Get ye behind my Cloak—
L. Des.Indeed, Sir, your Counsel and Assistance is very comfortable.
Ana.We should be Help-meets to one another, Madam.
Des.Alack, good Man!
[L.Des.goes to coax her Husband.
L. Des.Ay, my dear, I am so much oblig’d to him, that I know not, without thy Aid, how to make him amends.
Free.So, this is the first Cloak of Zeal I ever made use of.
[Ana.going, spreading his Cloak, to the Door;Free.behind goes out.
Des.Good Lady, give him his twenty pieces, adad, he worthily deserves ’em.[Gives her Gold.
L. Des.Indeed, and so he does, Dear, if thou knew’st all.—What say you now, do I not improve in Hypocrisy? And shall I not in time make a precious Member of your Church?[ToAna.
Ana.Verily, your Ladyship is most ingenious and expert.—Sir, I most humbly take my leave.[Ex.Ana.
EnterTom.
Tom.My Lord, my LordLamberthas sent in all haste for you, you must attend at his House immediately.
Des.So, he has heard the News—I must away—let my Coach be ready.[Ex.Des.
L. Des.How unlucky was this thatFreemanshould be gone—Sirrah, run and see to o’ertake him, and bring him back.[Exeunt.
Scene II.A fine Chamber in La.Lambert’sHouse.
EnterGilliflowerandLovelessby dark, richly drest.
Lov.Where am I,Gilliflower?
Gill.In my Lady’s Apartment, Sir, she’ll be with you presently; you need not fear betraying, Sir, for I’ll assure you I’m an Heroick in my Heart: my Husband was a Captain for his Majesty of ever-blessed Memory, and kill’d at Naseby, God be thanked, Sir.
Lov.What pity ’tis that thou shouldst serve this Party?
Gill.Bating her Principles, my Lady has good Nature enough to oblige a Servant; and truly, Sir, myVailswere good in oldOliver’sDays; I got well by that Amour between him and my Lady; the man was lavish enough.
Lov.Yes, of the Nation’s Treasure—but prithee tell me, is not thy Lady mad, raving on Crowns and Kingdoms?
Gill.It appears so to you, who are not us’d to the Vanity of the Party, but they are all so mad in their Degree, and in the Fit they talk of nothing else, Sir: we have tomorrow a Hearing as they call it.
Lov.What’s that, a Conventicle?
Gill.No, no, Sir, Ladies of the last Edition, that present their Grievances to the Council of Ladies, of which my Lady’s chief, which Grievances are laid open to the Committee of Safety, and so redress’d or slighted, as they are.
Lov.That must be worth one’s Curiosity, could one but see’t.
Gill.We admit no Man, Sir.
Lov.’Sdeath, for so good a sight I will turn Woman, I’ll act it to a hair.
Gill.That would be excellent.
Lov.Nay, I must do’t; the Novelty is rare—but I’m impatient—prithee let thy Lady know I wait.
Gill.She’s in Affairs of State, but will be here immediately; mean time, retire into her Cabinet, I’ll send the Page with Lights, there you may repose till my Lady comes, on the Pallat.[She leads him out.
Scene III.A great Chamber of State, and Canopy inLambert’sHouse.
And at a Table, seatedLambert,Fleetwood,Desbro,Hewson,Duckenfield,Wariston,Cobbet; all half drunk, with Bottles and Glasses on the Table; L.Lam.and L.Fleet.
Lam.My LordWariston, you are not merry to night.
War.Wons, Mon, thisMonksticks in my Gullet, the muckle Diel pull him out by th’ Lugs; the faud Loone will en spoyle and our Sport, mon.
Lam.I thought I had enough satisfied all your Fears; the Army’s mine, that is,—’tis yours, my Lords, and I’ll imploy it too so well for the Good of the Commonwealth, you shall have Cause to commend both my Courage and Conduct; my LordWariston, will you accompany me?
War.Ah, my gued Lord, the Honour is too great. ’Tis not but I’s dare fight, my Lord, but I love not the limmer Loone, he has a villanous honest Face an’s ene; I’s ken’d him ence, and lik’t him not; butI’s drink tol yar gued Fortune; let it gang aboote, ene and ad, Sirs.
[All drink.
Lam.We’ll leave all Discourse of Bus’ness, and give our selves to Mirth; I fancy good Success from this day’s Omen.
EntersGill, whispers L.Lam.she rises.
L. Lam.Waited so long!
Gill.And grew impatient, an’t please your Highness; must I go tell him you cannot see him to night.
L. Lam.Not for the World; my silly Politician will beBusying himself in the dull Affairs of State;—Dull in comparison of Love, I mean;I never lov’d before; oldOliverI suffer’d for my Interest,And ’tis some Greatness, to be Mistress to the best;But this mighty Pleasure comesa propos,To sweeten all the heavy Toils of Empire.
L. Lam.Not for the World; my silly Politician will be
Busying himself in the dull Affairs of State;
—Dull in comparison of Love, I mean;
I never lov’d before; oldOliverI suffer’d for my Interest,
And ’tis some Greatness, to be Mistress to the best;
But this mighty Pleasure comesa propos,
To sweeten all the heavy Toils of Empire.
Gill.So it does, an’t please your Highness.
L. Lam.Go, let him know I’m coming—Madam, I must beg your Pardon; you hear, my Lord to morrow goes on his great Expedition; and, for any thing we know, may fall a glorious Sacrifice to the Commonwealth; therefore ’tis meet I offer up some Prayers for his Safety, and all my leisure Hours ’twixt this and that, will be too few—Your humble Servant, Madam.[Ex. L.Lam.andGill.
L. Fleet.My Dear, I’ll leave you too, my time of Devotion is come, and Heav’n will stay for no Body; where are my People? is my Coach ready, or my Chair?
Fleet.Go in your Chair, my Love, lest you catch cold.
L. Fleet.Andlight your Flambeaus,—I love to have my Chair surrounded with Flambeaus.
EnterPage.
Page.Your Chair is ready, Madam.
[She goes out led byFleet.
Hews.What think ye now, my Lords, of settling the Nation a little? I find my Head swim with Politicks, and what ye call ums.
War.Wons, and wad ya settle the Nationwhen we realour selves?
Hews.Who, pox, shall we stand making Childrens Shoes all the Year? No, no, let’s begin to settle the Nation, I say, and go thro-stitch with our Work.
Duc.Right, we have no Head to obey; so that if thisScotchGeneral do come whilst we Dogs fight for the Bone, he runs away with it.
Hews.Shaw, we shall patch up matters with theScotchGeneral, I’ll warrant you: However, here’s to our next Head—One and all.[All drink.
Fleet.Verily, Sirs, this Health-drinking savoureth of Monarchy, and is a Type of Malignancy.
War.Bread, my Lord, no preachingo’er yar Liquer, wee’s now for a Cup o’ th’ Creature.
Cob.In a gadly way you may; it is lawful.
Lam.Come, come, we’re dull, give us some Musick—come, my Lord, I’ll give you a Song, I love Musick as I do a Drum, there’s Life and Soul in’t, call my Musick.
Fleet.Yea, I am for any Musick, except an Organ.
War.Sbread, Sirs, andI’s for a Horn-pipe, I’ve a faud Theefe here shall dance ye Dance tol a Horn-pipe, with any States-man a ya aud.
All.He, he, he.
Duc.I know not what your faud Theefe can do; but I’ll hold you a Wager, ColonelHewson, and ColonelDesbroshall dance ye the Seint’s Jigg with any Sinner of your Kirk, or field Conventicler.
War.Wons, and I’s catch ’em at that Sport, I’s dance tol ’em for aScotchPoond; but farstyar Song, my Lord, I hope ’tis boody, or else ’tis not werth a Feart.
All.He, he, he.
A Pox of the States-man that’s witty,That watches and plots all the sleepless Night,For seditious Harangues to theWhigsof the City,And piously turns a Traitor in spite.Let him wrack, and torment his lean Carrion,To bring his sham-Plots about,Till Religion, King, Bishop, and Baron,For the publick Good, be quite routed out.
A Pox of the States-man that’s witty,
That watches and plots all the sleepless Night,
For seditious Harangues to theWhigsof the City,
And piously turns a Traitor in spite.
Let him wrack, and torment his lean Carrion,
To bring his sham-Plots about,
Till Religion, King, Bishop, and Baron,
For the publick Good, be quite routed out.
Whilst we that are no Politicians,But Rogues that are resolute, bare-fac’d and great,Boldly head the rude Rabble in open Sedition,Bearing all down before us in Church and in State.Your Impudence is the best State-trick,And he that by Law means to rule,Let his History with ours be related,Tho we prove the Knaves, ’tis he is the Fool.
Whilst we that are no Politicians,
But Rogues that are resolute, bare-fac’d and great,
Boldly head the rude Rabble in open Sedition,
Bearing all down before us in Church and in State.
Your Impudence is the best State-trick,
And he that by Law means to rule,
Let his History with ours be related,
Tho we prove the Knaves, ’tis he is the Fool.
War.The Diel a me, wele sung, my Lord, and gen aud Trades fail, yas make a quaint Minstrel.
All.He, he, he.
War.Noo, Sirs, yar Dance?[They fling Cushions at one another, and grin. Musick plays.]—Marry, Sirs, an this be yar dancing, tol dance and ne’er stir Stap, the Diellead the DonceforArchibald.
[When they have flung Cushions thus a while to the Musick time, they beat each other from the Table, one by one, and fall into a godly Dance; after a while,Waristonrises, and dances ridiculously a while amongst them; then to the Time of the Tune, they take out the rest, as at theCushion-Dance, or in that nature.Waristonbeing the last taken in, leads the rest.
—Haud, Minstrels, haud; Bread a gued. I’s fatch ad Ladies in—lead away, Minstrels, tol my Lady’s Apartment.
[Musick playing before all.
[Exeunt dancing.
Scene IV.Flat.
EnterPage.
Page.Cock, Here must I wait, to give my Lady notice when my Lord approaches;—The fine Gentleman that is alone with her, gave me these two fine Pieces of Gold, and bad me buy a Sword to fight for the King withal; and I’m resolv’d to lay it all out in a Sword, not a penny inNickers, and fight for the Heroicks as long as I have aLimb, if they be all such fine Men as this within. But hark, sure I hear some coming.—[Exit.
[Flat Scene draws off, discovers L.Lam.on a Couch, withLoveless, tying a rich Diamond-Bracelet about his Arm: a Table behind with Lights, on which a Velvet Cushion, with a Crown and Scepter cover’d.
Lov.This Present’s too magnificent: such Bracelets young Monarchs shou’d put on.
L. Lam.Persons like me, when they make Presents, Sir, must do it for their Glory, not considering the Merit of the Wearer: yet this, my charmingLoveless, comes short of what I ought to pay thy Worth; comes short too of my Love.
Lov.You bless me, Madam—
L. Lam.This the great Monarch of the World once ty’d about my Arm, and bad me wear it, till some greater Man shou’d chance to win my Heart;