Chapter 30

EnterSir Toby,Sir Andrew,andFabian.Sir And.No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer.Sir To.Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.Fab.You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.Sir And.Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to5thecount'sserving-man than ever she bestoweduponme;I saw 't i' the orchard.Sir To.Did she seethee thewhile, old boy? tell methat.Sir And.As plain as I see you now.10Fab.This was a great argument of love in her towardyou.Sir And.'Slight, will you make an ass o' me?Fab.I willprove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths ofjudgement and reason.15Sir To.And they have been grand-jurymen since beforeNoah was a sailor.Fab.She did show favour to the youth in your sightonly to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valour, toput fire in your heart, and brimstone in your liver. You20should then have accosted her; and with some excellentjests, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged theyouth into dumbness. This was looked for at your hand,and this was balked: the double gilt of this opportunity youlet time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north25of my lady's opinion; where you will hang like an icicleon a Dutchman's beard, unless you do redeem it by somelaudableattempt either of valour or policy.Sir And.An'tbe any way, it must be with valour; forpolicy I hate: I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician.30Sir To.Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon thebasis of valour. Challenge me the count'syouth to fightwith him; hurt him in eleven places: my niece shall takenote of it; and assure thyself, there is no love-broker inthe world can more prevail in man's commendation with35womanthan report of valour.Fab.There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.Sir And.Will either of you bear me a challenge tohim?Sir To.Go, write it in a martial hand; becurstand40brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and fullof invention: taunt him with the license of ink: if thouthou'st him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and asmany lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although thesheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England, set45'em down:go, aboutit. Let there be gall enough in thyink, though thouwritewith a goose-pen, no matter:about it.Sir And.Where shall I find you?Sir To.We'll calltheeat the cubiculo: go.[Exit Sir Andrew.50Fab.This is a dear manakin to you, Sir Toby.Sir To.I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousandstrong, or so.Fab.We shall have a rare letter from him: but you'llnot deliver't?55Sir To.Never trust me, then; and by all means stiron the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropescannot hale them together. ForAndrew, if he were opened,andyou find so much blood in his liver as will clog thefoot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of the anatomy.60Fab.And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visageno great presage of cruelty.EnterMaria.Sir To.Look, where the youngest wren ofninecomes.Mar.If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselvesinto stitches, follow me.Yondgull Malvolio is65turnedheathen, a veryrenegado; for there is no Christian,that means to be saved by believing rightly, can ever believesuch impossible passages of grossness. He's in yellowstockings.Sir To.And cross-gartered?70Mar.Most villanously; like a pedant that keeps aschool i' the church. I have dogged him, like his murderer.He does obey every point of the letter that I dropped tobetray him: he does smile his face into more lines thanisin the new map with the augmentation of the Indies: you75have not seen such a thing as 'tis. I can hardly forbearhurling things at him. I know my lady will strike him: ifshe do, he'll smile and take't for a great favour.Sir To.Come, bring us, bring us where he is.[Exeunt.

EnterSir Toby,Sir Andrew,andFabian.

Sir And.No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer.

Sir To.Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.

Fab.You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.

Sir And.Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to5thecount'sserving-man than ever she bestoweduponme;I saw 't i' the orchard.

Sir And.Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to

thecount'sserving-man than ever she bestoweduponme;

I saw 't i' the orchard.

Sir To.Did she seethee thewhile, old boy? tell methat.

Sir To.Did she seethee thewhile, old boy? tell me

that.

Sir And.As plain as I see you now.

10Fab.This was a great argument of love in her towardyou.

Fab.This was a great argument of love in her toward

you.

Sir And.'Slight, will you make an ass o' me?

Fab.I willprove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths ofjudgement and reason.

Fab.I willprove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of

judgement and reason.

15Sir To.And they have been grand-jurymen since beforeNoah was a sailor.

Sir To.And they have been grand-jurymen since before

Noah was a sailor.

Fab.She did show favour to the youth in your sightonly to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valour, toput fire in your heart, and brimstone in your liver. You20should then have accosted her; and with some excellentjests, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged theyouth into dumbness. This was looked for at your hand,and this was balked: the double gilt of this opportunity youlet time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north25of my lady's opinion; where you will hang like an icicleon a Dutchman's beard, unless you do redeem it by somelaudableattempt either of valour or policy.

Fab.She did show favour to the youth in your sight

only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valour, to

put fire in your heart, and brimstone in your liver. You

should then have accosted her; and with some excellent

jests, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged the

youth into dumbness. This was looked for at your hand,

and this was balked: the double gilt of this opportunity you

let time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north

of my lady's opinion; where you will hang like an icicle

on a Dutchman's beard, unless you do redeem it by some

laudableattempt either of valour or policy.

Sir And.An'tbe any way, it must be with valour; forpolicy I hate: I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician.

Sir And.An'tbe any way, it must be with valour; for

policy I hate: I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician.

30Sir To.Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon thebasis of valour. Challenge me the count'syouth to fightwith him; hurt him in eleven places: my niece shall takenote of it; and assure thyself, there is no love-broker inthe world can more prevail in man's commendation with35womanthan report of valour.

Sir To.Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the

basis of valour. Challenge me the count'syouth to fight

with him; hurt him in eleven places: my niece shall take

note of it; and assure thyself, there is no love-broker in

the world can more prevail in man's commendation with

womanthan report of valour.

Fab.There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.

Sir And.Will either of you bear me a challenge tohim?

Sir And.Will either of you bear me a challenge to

him?

Sir To.Go, write it in a martial hand; becurstand40brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and fullof invention: taunt him with the license of ink: if thouthou'st him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and asmany lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although thesheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England, set45'em down:go, aboutit. Let there be gall enough in thyink, though thouwritewith a goose-pen, no matter:about it.

Sir To.Go, write it in a martial hand; becurstand

brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and full

of invention: taunt him with the license of ink: if thou

thou'st him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and as

many lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although the

sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England, set

'em down:go, aboutit. Let there be gall enough in thy

ink, though thouwritewith a goose-pen, no matter:

about it.

Sir And.Where shall I find you?

Sir To.We'll calltheeat the cubiculo: go.[Exit Sir Andrew.

50Fab.This is a dear manakin to you, Sir Toby.

Fab.This is a dear manakin to you, Sir Toby.

Sir To.I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousandstrong, or so.

Sir To.I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand

strong, or so.

Fab.We shall have a rare letter from him: but you'llnot deliver't?

Fab.We shall have a rare letter from him: but you'll

not deliver't?

55Sir To.Never trust me, then; and by all means stiron the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropescannot hale them together. ForAndrew, if he were opened,andyou find so much blood in his liver as will clog thefoot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of the anatomy.

Sir To.Never trust me, then; and by all means stir

on the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes

cannot hale them together. ForAndrew, if he were opened,

andyou find so much blood in his liver as will clog the

foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of the anatomy.

60Fab.And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visageno great presage of cruelty.

Fab.And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage

no great presage of cruelty.

EnterMaria.

Sir To.Look, where the youngest wren ofninecomes.

Mar.If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselvesinto stitches, follow me.Yondgull Malvolio is65turnedheathen, a veryrenegado; for there is no Christian,that means to be saved by believing rightly, can ever believesuch impossible passages of grossness. He's in yellowstockings.

Mar.If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves

into stitches, follow me.Yondgull Malvolio is

turnedheathen, a veryrenegado; for there is no Christian,

that means to be saved by believing rightly, can ever believe

such impossible passages of grossness. He's in yellow

stockings.

Sir To.And cross-gartered?

70Mar.Most villanously; like a pedant that keeps aschool i' the church. I have dogged him, like his murderer.He does obey every point of the letter that I dropped tobetray him: he does smile his face into more lines thanisin the new map with the augmentation of the Indies: you75have not seen such a thing as 'tis. I can hardly forbearhurling things at him. I know my lady will strike him: ifshe do, he'll smile and take't for a great favour.

Mar.Most villanously; like a pedant that keeps a

school i' the church. I have dogged him, like his murderer.

He does obey every point of the letter that I dropped to

betray him: he does smile his face into more lines thanis

in the new map with the augmentation of the Indies: you

have not seen such a thing as 'tis. I can hardly forbear

hurling things at him. I know my lady will strike him: if

she do, he'll smile and take't for a great favour.

Sir To.Come, bring us, bring us where he is.[Exeunt.

LINENOTES:Scene II.]Scene IV.Pope.Olivia'shouse.]Rowe.[5, 31]count's]Duke'sRowe.[5]upon]onRowe (ed. 2).[7]thee the]F3 F4.theF1 F2.you theLong MS.[12]'Slight]F3 F4.S'lightF1 F2.[13]I will]F1.IF2 F3 F4.[27]laudable]om. Rowe.[28]An't]Hanmer.And'tFf.[31]youth to fight]youth; go, fightTyrwhitt conj.[32]with him]with youRitson conj.[35]woman]womenHanmer.[39]curst]curtGrey conj.[45]go, about]Capell.go aboutFf.and go aboutRowe.[46]write]write itRowe.[49]the]thyHanmer.[50]Scene V.Pope.[57]Andrew]Sir AndrewCollier (Collier MS.).[58]and]anS. Walker conj.[62]nine]Theobald,mineFf.[64]yond]yon'Capell.[65]heathen]a heathenS. Walker conj.renegado]Rowe.RenegathoFf.[73]is]Ff.areSteevens.[78][Exeunt.]Exeunt Omnes Ff.

LINENOTES:

Scene II.]Scene IV.Pope.

Olivia'shouse.]Rowe.

[5, 31]count's]Duke'sRowe.

[5]upon]onRowe (ed. 2).

[7]thee the]F3 F4.theF1 F2.you theLong MS.

[12]'Slight]F3 F4.S'lightF1 F2.

[13]I will]F1.IF2 F3 F4.

[27]laudable]om. Rowe.

[28]An't]Hanmer.And'tFf.

[31]youth to fight]youth; go, fightTyrwhitt conj.

[32]with him]with youRitson conj.

[35]woman]womenHanmer.

[39]curst]curtGrey conj.

[45]go, about]Capell.go aboutFf.and go aboutRowe.

[46]write]write itRowe.

[49]the]thyHanmer.

[50]Scene V.Pope.

[57]Andrew]Sir AndrewCollier (Collier MS.).

[58]and]anS. Walker conj.

[62]nine]Theobald,mineFf.

[64]yond]yon'Capell.

[65]heathen]a heathenS. Walker conj.

renegado]Rowe.RenegathoFf.

[73]is]Ff.areSteevens.

[78][Exeunt.]Exeunt Omnes Ff.

EnterSebastianandAntonio.Seb.I would not by my will have troubled you;But, since you make your pleasure of your pains,I will no further chide you.Ant.I could not stay behind you: my desire,5More sharp than filed steel, did spur me forth;And not all love to see you, though so muchAs might have drawnoneto a longer voyage,But jealousy what might befall your travel,Being skilless in these parts; which to a stranger,10Unguided and unfriended, often proveRough and unhospitable: my willing love,The rather by these arguments of fear,Set forth in your pursuit.Seb.My kind Antonio,I can no other answer make but thanks,15And thanks;and ever... oft good turnsAre shuffled off with such uncurrent pay:But, were myworthas is my conscience firm,You should find better dealing. What's to do?Shall we go see the reliques of this town?20Ant.To-morrow, sir: best first go see yourlodging.Seb.I am not weary, and 'tis long to night:I pray you, let us satisfy our eyesWith the memorials and the things of fameThat do renown this city.Ant.Would you'ld pardon me;25I do not without danger walk these streets:Once, in a sea-fight, 'gainst thecount hisgalleysI did some service; of such note indeed,That were I ta'en here it would scarce be answer'd.Seb.Belike you slew great number of hispeople.30Ant.The offence is not of such a bloody nature;Albeit the quality of the time and quarrelMight well have given us bloody argument.It might have since been answer'd in repayingWhat we took from them; which, for traffic's sake,35Most of our city did: only myself stood out;For which, if I belapsedin this place,I shall pay dear.Seb.Do not then walk too open.Ant.It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here's my purse.In the south suburbs, at the Elephant,40Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our diet,Whiles you beguile the time and feed your knowledgeWith viewing of the town: there shall you have me.Seb.Why I your purse?Ant.Haply your eye shall light upon some toy45You have desire to purchase; and your store,I think, is not for idle markets, sir.Seb.I'll be your purse-bearer and leaveyouFor an hour.Ant.To the Elephant.Seb.I do remember.[Exeunt.

EnterSebastianandAntonio.

Seb.I would not by my will have troubled you;But, since you make your pleasure of your pains,I will no further chide you.

Seb.I would not by my will have troubled you;

But, since you make your pleasure of your pains,

I will no further chide you.

Ant.I could not stay behind you: my desire,5More sharp than filed steel, did spur me forth;And not all love to see you, though so muchAs might have drawnoneto a longer voyage,But jealousy what might befall your travel,Being skilless in these parts; which to a stranger,10Unguided and unfriended, often proveRough and unhospitable: my willing love,The rather by these arguments of fear,Set forth in your pursuit.

Ant.I could not stay behind you: my desire,

More sharp than filed steel, did spur me forth;

And not all love to see you, though so much

As might have drawnoneto a longer voyage,

But jealousy what might befall your travel,

Being skilless in these parts; which to a stranger,

Unguided and unfriended, often prove

Rough and unhospitable: my willing love,

The rather by these arguments of fear,

Set forth in your pursuit.

Seb.My kind Antonio,I can no other answer make but thanks,15And thanks;and ever... oft good turnsAre shuffled off with such uncurrent pay:But, were myworthas is my conscience firm,You should find better dealing. What's to do?Shall we go see the reliques of this town?

Seb.My kind Antonio,

I can no other answer make but thanks,

And thanks;and ever... oft good turns

Are shuffled off with such uncurrent pay:

But, were myworthas is my conscience firm,

You should find better dealing. What's to do?

Shall we go see the reliques of this town?

20Ant.To-morrow, sir: best first go see yourlodging.

Ant.To-morrow, sir: best first go see yourlodging.

Seb.I am not weary, and 'tis long to night:I pray you, let us satisfy our eyesWith the memorials and the things of fameThat do renown this city.

Seb.I am not weary, and 'tis long to night:

I pray you, let us satisfy our eyes

With the memorials and the things of fame

That do renown this city.

Ant.Would you'ld pardon me;25I do not without danger walk these streets:Once, in a sea-fight, 'gainst thecount hisgalleysI did some service; of such note indeed,That were I ta'en here it would scarce be answer'd.

Ant.Would you'ld pardon me;

I do not without danger walk these streets:

Once, in a sea-fight, 'gainst thecount hisgalleys

I did some service; of such note indeed,

That were I ta'en here it would scarce be answer'd.

Seb.Belike you slew great number of hispeople.

30Ant.The offence is not of such a bloody nature;Albeit the quality of the time and quarrelMight well have given us bloody argument.It might have since been answer'd in repayingWhat we took from them; which, for traffic's sake,35Most of our city did: only myself stood out;For which, if I belapsedin this place,I shall pay dear.

Ant.The offence is not of such a bloody nature;

Albeit the quality of the time and quarrel

Might well have given us bloody argument.

It might have since been answer'd in repaying

What we took from them; which, for traffic's sake,

Most of our city did: only myself stood out;

For which, if I belapsedin this place,

I shall pay dear.

Seb.Do not then walk too open.

Ant.It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here's my purse.In the south suburbs, at the Elephant,40Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our diet,Whiles you beguile the time and feed your knowledgeWith viewing of the town: there shall you have me.

Ant.It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here's my purse.

In the south suburbs, at the Elephant,

Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our diet,

Whiles you beguile the time and feed your knowledge

With viewing of the town: there shall you have me.

Seb.Why I your purse?

Ant.Haply your eye shall light upon some toy45You have desire to purchase; and your store,I think, is not for idle markets, sir.

Ant.Haply your eye shall light upon some toy

You have desire to purchase; and your store,

I think, is not for idle markets, sir.

Seb.I'll be your purse-bearer and leaveyouFor an hour.

Seb.I'll be your purse-bearer and leaveyou

For an hour.

Ant.To the Elephant.

Seb.I do remember.[Exeunt.

LINENOTES:Scene III.]Scene VI.Pope.A street.]Capell. The street. Rowe.[7]one]meHeath conj.[15, 16]And thanks ... pay]Omitted in F2 F3 F4.[15]And thanks;and ever...oft good turns]And thankes: and ever oft good turnesF1.And thanks: and ever oft-good turnsPope (ed. 1).And thanks: and ever-oft good turnsId. (ed. 2).And thanks, and ever thanks; and oft good turnsTheobald.And thanks, and ever; oft good turnsSteevens (1778).And thanks again and ever; oft good turnsRann (Tollet conj.).And thanks, and ever thanks: oft good turnsMalone.And thanks, and ever thanks: often good turnsSteevens (1794).And thanks, and ever thanks; too oft good turnsSeymour conj.And thanks, still thanks; and very oft good turnsCollier (Collier MS.).And thanks, and ever thanks; though oft good turnsLettsom conj.And thanks: and very oft good turnsGrant White.And thanks, and thanks; and very oft good turnsId. conj.[17]worth]wealthCollier MS.[20]lodging]lodging?F1.[26]count his]Duke hisRowe.County'sMalone conj.[29]people.]people?Dyce.[36]lapsed]latchedHunter conj.[47, 48]you For an]Ff.you for AnTheobald. As prose in Boswell.[48]Exeunt.]Ff. Exeunt severally. Capell.

LINENOTES:

Scene III.]Scene VI.Pope.

A street.]Capell. The street. Rowe.

[7]one]meHeath conj.

[15, 16]And thanks ... pay]Omitted in F2 F3 F4.

[15]And thanks;and ever...oft good turns]And thankes: and ever oft good turnesF1.And thanks: and ever oft-good turnsPope (ed. 1).And thanks: and ever-oft good turnsId. (ed. 2).And thanks, and ever thanks; and oft good turnsTheobald.And thanks, and ever; oft good turnsSteevens (1778).And thanks again and ever; oft good turnsRann (Tollet conj.).And thanks, and ever thanks: oft good turnsMalone.And thanks, and ever thanks: often good turnsSteevens (1794).And thanks, and ever thanks; too oft good turnsSeymour conj.And thanks, still thanks; and very oft good turnsCollier (Collier MS.).And thanks, and ever thanks; though oft good turnsLettsom conj.And thanks: and very oft good turnsGrant White.And thanks, and thanks; and very oft good turnsId. conj.

[17]worth]wealthCollier MS.

[20]lodging]lodging?F1.

[26]count his]Duke hisRowe.County'sMalone conj.

[29]people.]people?Dyce.

[36]lapsed]latchedHunter conj.

[47, 48]you For an]Ff.you for AnTheobald. As prose in Boswell.

[48]Exeunt.]Ff. Exeunt severally. Capell.

EnterOliviaandMaria.Oli.I have sent after him:he says he'llcome;How shall I feast him? whatbestowofhim?For youth is bought more oft than begg'd or borrow'd.I speaktoo loud.5Where isMalvolio? he is sad and civil,And suits well for a servant with my fortunes:Where is Malvolio?Mar.He'scoming, madam; but inverystrange manner.He is, sure, possessed, madam.10Oli.Why, what's the matter? does herave?Mar.No, madam, he doesnothingbut smile: yourladyship were best to have some guard about you, if hecome; for, sure, the man is taintedin'swits.Oli.Go call him hither.[Exit Maria.]I amas mad as he,15If sad andmerrymadness equal be.Re-enterMaria,withMalvolio.Hownow, Malvolio!Mal.Sweet lady,ho, ho.Oli.Smilestthou?I sent for thee upon a sad occasion.20Mal.Sad, lady! I could be sad: this does make someobstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering; but what ofthat? if it please the eye of one, it is with me as the verytrue sonnetis, 'Please one, and please all.'Oli.Why, how dost thou, man? what is the matter25with thee?Mal.Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs.It did come to his hands, and commands shall be executed:I think we do knowthe sweetRoman hand.Oli.Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?30Mal.To bed! ay, sweet-heart, and I'll come to thee.Oli.God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so andkiss thy hand so oft?Mar.How do you, Malvolio?Mal.At your request! yes; nightingales answer daws.35Mar.Why appear you with this ridiculous boldnessbefore my lady?Mal.'Be not afraid of greatness:' 'twas well writ.Oli.Whatmeanestthou by that, Malvolio?Mal.'Some are born great,'—40Oli.Ha!Mal.'Some achieve greatness,'—Oli.What sayest thou?Mal.'And some have greatness thrust upon them.'Oli.Heaven restore thee!45Mal.'Remember who commended thy yellow stockings,'—Oli.Thyyellow stockings!Mal.'And wished to see thee cross-gartered.'Oli.Cross-gartered!50Mal.'Go to, thou art made, if thou desirest to be so;'—Oli.Am I made?Mal.'If not, let me see thee a servant still.'Oli.Why, this isverymidsummer madness.EnterServant.Ser.Madam, the young gentleman of theCountOrsino's55is returned: I could hardly entreat him back: heattends your ladyship's pleasure.Oli.I'll come to him.[Exit Servant.]Good Maria,let this fellow be looked to. Where's mycousinToby?Let some of my people have a special care of him: I would60not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry.[Exeunt Olivia and Maria.Mal.O, ho! do you come near me now? no worse manthan Sir Toby to look to me! This concurs directly withthe letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appearstubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter.65'Cast thy humble slough,' says she; 'be opposite with akinsman, surly with servants; let thy tonguetang withargumentsof state; put thyself into the trick of singularity;'and consequently sets down the manner how; as, a sad face,a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of some sir70of note, and so forth. I have limed her; but it isJove'sdoing, andJovemake me thankful! And when she wentaway now, 'Let this fellow be looked to:' fellow! not Malvolio,nor after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thingadheres together, that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a75scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance—Whatcan be said? Nothing that can be can come betweenme and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove,not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked.Re-enterMaria,withSir TobyandFabian.Sir To.Which way is he, in the name ofsanctity?If80all the devils of hell be drawn in little, and Legion himselfpossessed him, yet I'll speak to him.Fab.Here he is, here he is.How is'twith you, sir?how is't with you, man?Mal.Go off; I discard you: let me enjoy myprivate:85go off.Mar.Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! didnot I tell you? Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have acare of him.Mal.Ah, ha! does she so?90Sir To.Go to, go to; peace, peace; we must dealgently with him: letmealone. Howdo you, Malvolio?how is't with you? What, man! defy the devil; consider,he's an enemy to mankind.Mal.Do you know what you say?95Mar.La you,anyou speak ill of the devil, how hetakes it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched!Fab.Carry his water to the wise woman.Mar.Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning,if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll100say.Mal.How now, mistress!Mar.O Lord!Sir To.Prithee, hold thy peace;thisis not the way:do you not see you move him?let me alone with him.105Fab.No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiendis rough, and will not be roughly used.Sir To.Why, how now, mybawcock! how dost thou,chuck?Mal.Sir!110Sir To.Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 'tisnot for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan: hang him,foul collier!Mar.Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, gethim to pray.115Mal.My prayers, minx!Mar.No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.Mal.Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shallowthings: I am not of your element: you shall know morehereafter.[Exit.120Sir To.Is't possible?Fab.If this were played upon a stage now, I couldcondemn it as an improbable fiction.Sir To.His very genius hath taken the infection ofthe device, man.125Mar.Nay, pursue him now,lestthe device take airand taint.Fab.Why, we shall make him mad indeed.Mar.The housewillbe the quieter.Sir To.Come, we'll have him in a dark room and130bound. My niece is already in the belief that he's mad:we may carry it thus, for our pleasure and his penance, tillour very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to havemercy on him: at which time we will bring the device tothe bar and crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see,135but see.EnterSir Andrew.Fab.More matter for a May morning.Sir And.Here's the challenge, read it: I warrantthere's vinegar and pepper in't.Fab.Is't so saucy?140Sir And.Ay, is't, I warrant him: do but read.Sir To.Give me.[Reads]Youth, whatsoever thou art,thou art but a scurvy fellow.Fab.Good, and valiant.Sir To.[reads]Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why145I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't.Fab.Agoodnote; that keeps you from the blow ofthe law.Sir To.[reads]Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in mysight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat; that is not the150matter I challenge thee for.Fab.Very brief, andtoexceeding goodsense—less.Sir To.[reads]I will waylay thee going home; where if it bethy chance to kill me,—Fab.Good.155Sir To.[reads]Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain.Fab.Still you keep o' the windy side of the law:good.Sir To.[reads]Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon oneof our souls! He may have mercy uponmine; but my hope is better,160and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy swornenemy,Andrew Aguecheek.Ifthis letter move him not, his legs cannot: I'll give'thim.Mar.You may have very fit occasion for't: he is165now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and bydepart.Sir To.Go, Sir Andrew; scout me for him at the cornerof the orchard like abum-baily: so soon as ever thouseest him, draw; and, as thou drawest, swearhorrible; for170it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggeringaccent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbationthan ever proof itself would have earned him.Away!Sir And.Nay, let me alone for swearing.[Exit.175Sir To.Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behaviourof the young gentleman gives him out to be ofgood capacity and breeding; his employment between hislord and my niece confirms no less: therefore this letter,being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the180youth: he will findit comesfrom a clodpole. But, sir, I willdeliver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon Aguecheeka notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman,as I know his youth will aptly receive it, into a mosthideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury and impetuosity.185This will so fright them both, that they will kill one anotherby the look, like cockatrices.Re-enterOlivia,withViola.Fab.Here he comes with your niece: give them waytill he take leave, and presently after him.Sir To.I will meditate the while upon some horrid190message for a challenge.[Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria.Oli.I havesaid too much unto a heart of stoneAnd laid mine honour too uncharyout:There's something in me that reproves my fault;But such a headstrong potent fault it is,195That it but mocks reproof.Vio.With the same'haviour that yourpassion bearsGoeson my master's grief.Oli.Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture;Refuse it not; it hath no tongue to vex you;200And I beseech you come again to-morrow.What shall you ask of me that I'll deny,That honour savedmay upon asking give?Vio.Nothing but this;—your true love for my master.Oli.How with mine honour may I give him thatWhich I have given to you?205Vio.I will acquit you.Oli.Well, come again to-morrow: fare thee well:A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell.[Exit.Re-enterSir TobyandFabian.Sir To.Gentleman, God save thee.Vio.And you, sir.210Sir To.That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: ofwhat nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I knownot; but thyintercepter, full of despite, bloody as thehunter, attends thee at the orchard-end: dismount thy tuck,be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful215and deadly.Vio.You mistake,sir; I am sureno man hath anyquarrel to me: my remembrance is very free and clearfrom any image of offence done to any man.Sir To.You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore,220if you hold your life at any price, betake you to yourguard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength,skill and wrath can furnishmanwithal.Vio.I pray you, sir, what is he?Sir To.He isknight, dubbed withunhatchedrapier225and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in privatebrawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensementat this moment is so implacable, that satisfactioncan be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre. Hob,nob, is his word; give't or take't.230Vio.I will return again into the house and desire someconduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard ofsome kind of men that put quarrels purposely on others, totaste their valour: belike this is a man of that quirk.Sir To.Sir, no; his indignationderivesitself out of a235verycompetentinjury: therefore, get you on and give himhis desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertakethat with me which with as much safety you mightanswerhim:therefore, on,orstripyour swordstark naked;for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron240about you.Vio.This isas uncivilas strange. I beseech you, dome this courteous office,as to knowof the knight what myoffence to him is: it is something of my negligence, nothingof my purpose.245Sir To.I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by thisgentleman till my return.[Exit.Vio.Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?Fab.I know the knight is incensed against you, evento a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance250more.Vio.I beseech you, what manner of man is he?Fab.Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read himby his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of hisvalour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody and255fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in anypart of Illyria. Will you walk towards him? I will makeyour peace with him if I can.Vio.I shall be much bound to you for't: I am onethat had rather go with sir priest than sir knight: I care not260who knows so much of my mettle.[Exeunt.Re-enterSir Toby,withSir Andrew.Sir To.Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seensuch afirago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard andall, and he gives me thestuck inwith such a mortal motion,that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he paysyouas265surely as your feethitthe ground they step on. They sayhe has been fencer to the Sophy.Sir And.Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him.Sir To.Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabiancan scarce hold himyonder.270Sir And.Plague on't,anI thought he had been valiantand so cunning in fence, I'ld have seen him damnedere I'ld have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip,and I'll give him my horse, greyCapilet.Sir To.I'll make the motion: stand here, make a good275show on't: this shall end without the perdition of souls.[Aside]Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you.Re-enterFabianandViola.[To Fab.]I have his horse totake upthe quarrel: I havepersuaded him the youth's a devil.Fab.He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants and280looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels.Sir To.[To Vio.]There's no remedy, sir; he will fightwith you for'soath sake: marry, he hath better bethoughthim of his quarrel, and he finds that nowscarce to beworthtalking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow;285he protests he will not hurt you.Vio.[Aside]Pray God defend me! A little thingwould make me tell them how much I lack of a man.Fab.Give ground, if you see him furious.Sir To.Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the290gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout withyou; he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promisedme, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you.Come on; to't.Sir And.Pray God, he keep his oath!295Vio.I do assure you, 'tis against my will.[They draw.EnterAntonio.Ant.Put up your sword. If this young gentlemanHave done offence, I take the fault on me:If you offend him, I for him defyyou.Sir To.You, sir! why, what are you?300Ant.One, sir, that for his love dares yet do moreThan you have heard him brag to you he will.Sir To.Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.[They draw.EnterOfficers.Fab.O good Sir Toby, hold! here come the officers.Sir To.I'll be with youanon.305Vio.Pray, sir, put your sword up, if youplease.Sir And.Marry, will I, sir; and, for that I promisedyou, I 'll be as good as my word: he will bear you easilyand reins well.First Off.This is the man; do thy office.310Sec. Off.Antonio, I arrest thee at thesuitofCountOrsino.Ant.You do mistake me, sir.First Off.No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well,Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.315Take him away: he knows I know him well.Ant.I must obey.[To Vio.]This comes with seeking you:But there's no remedy; I shall answer it.What will youdo, nowmy necessityMakes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me320Much more for what I cannot do for youThan what befalls myself. You stand amazed;But be of comfort.Sec. Off.Come, sir, away.Ant.I must entreat of you some of thatmoney.325Vio.What money, sir?For the fair kindness you have show'd me here,And, part, being prompted by your present trouble,Out of my lean and low abilityI'll lend you something: my having is not much;330I'll make division of my present with you:Hold, there'shalf my coffer.Ant.Will you deny menow?Is't possible that my deserts to youCan lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery,Lestthat it make me so unsound a man335As to upbraid you with those kindnessesThat I have done for you.Vio.I know of none;Nor know I you by voice or any feature:I hate ingratitude more in a manThanlying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,340Or any taint of vice whose strong corruptionInhabits our frail blood.Ant.O heavens themselves!Sec. Off.Come, sir, Ipray you, go.Ant.Let mespeaka little.This youththat you see hereI snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death;345Relieved him with such sanctity oflove;And tohisimage, which methought did promiseMostvenerableworth, did I devotion.First Off.What's that to us? The time goes by: away!Ant.But O howvilean idol proves this god!350Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.In nature there's no blemish but the mind;None can be call'd deform'd but the unkind:Virtue is beauty; but thebeauteous evilAre empty trunks, o'erflourish'd by the devil.355First Off.The mangrows mad: away with him!Come, come, sir.Ant.Lead me on.[Exitwith Officers.Vio.Methinks his words do from such passion fly,That he believes himself: so do not I.Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,360That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you!Sir To.Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian:we'llwhisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws.Vio.He named Sebastian: I my brother knowYet living in my glass; even such and so365In favour was my brother, and he wentStill in this fashion, colour, ornament,For him I imitate:O, ifit prove,Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in love![Exit.Sir To.A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward370than a hare: his dishonesty appears in leaving his friendhere in necessity and denying him; and for his cowardship,ask Fabian.Fab.A coward,a mostdevout coward, religious in it.Sir And.'Slid, I'll after him again and beat him.375Sir To.Do; cuff him soundly, butneverdraw thysword.Sir And.AnI donot,—[Exit.Fab.Come,let'ssee the event.Sir To.I dare layanymoney 'twill be nothing yet.[Exeunt.

EnterOliviaandMaria.

Oli.I have sent after him:he says he'llcome;How shall I feast him? whatbestowofhim?For youth is bought more oft than begg'd or borrow'd.I speaktoo loud.5Where isMalvolio? he is sad and civil,And suits well for a servant with my fortunes:Where is Malvolio?

Oli.I have sent after him:he says he'llcome;

How shall I feast him? whatbestowofhim?

For youth is bought more oft than begg'd or borrow'd.

I speaktoo loud.

Where isMalvolio? he is sad and civil,

And suits well for a servant with my fortunes:

Where is Malvolio?

Mar.He'scoming, madam; but inverystrange manner.He is, sure, possessed, madam.

Mar.He'scoming, madam; but inverystrange manner.

He is, sure, possessed, madam.

10Oli.Why, what's the matter? does herave?

Oli.Why, what's the matter? does herave?

Mar.No, madam, he doesnothingbut smile: yourladyship were best to have some guard about you, if hecome; for, sure, the man is taintedin'swits.

Mar.No, madam, he doesnothingbut smile: your

ladyship were best to have some guard about you, if he

come; for, sure, the man is taintedin'swits.

Oli.Go call him hither.[Exit Maria.]I amas mad as he,15If sad andmerrymadness equal be.

Oli.Go call him hither.[Exit Maria.]I amas mad as he,

If sad andmerrymadness equal be.

Re-enterMaria,withMalvolio.

Hownow, Malvolio!

Mal.Sweet lady,ho, ho.

Oli.Smilestthou?I sent for thee upon a sad occasion.

Oli.Smilestthou?

I sent for thee upon a sad occasion.

20Mal.Sad, lady! I could be sad: this does make someobstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering; but what ofthat? if it please the eye of one, it is with me as the verytrue sonnetis, 'Please one, and please all.'

Mal.Sad, lady! I could be sad: this does make some

obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering; but what of

that? if it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very

true sonnetis, 'Please one, and please all.'

Oli.Why, how dost thou, man? what is the matter25with thee?

Oli.Why, how dost thou, man? what is the matter

with thee?

Mal.Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs.It did come to his hands, and commands shall be executed:I think we do knowthe sweetRoman hand.

Mal.Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs.

It did come to his hands, and commands shall be executed:

I think we do knowthe sweetRoman hand.

Oli.Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?

30Mal.To bed! ay, sweet-heart, and I'll come to thee.

Mal.To bed! ay, sweet-heart, and I'll come to thee.

Oli.God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so andkiss thy hand so oft?

Oli.God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so and

kiss thy hand so oft?

Mar.How do you, Malvolio?

Mal.At your request! yes; nightingales answer daws.

35Mar.Why appear you with this ridiculous boldnessbefore my lady?

Mar.Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness

before my lady?

Mal.'Be not afraid of greatness:' 'twas well writ.

Oli.Whatmeanestthou by that, Malvolio?

Mal.'Some are born great,'—

40Oli.Ha!

Oli.Ha!

Mal.'Some achieve greatness,'—

Oli.What sayest thou?

Mal.'And some have greatness thrust upon them.'

Oli.Heaven restore thee!

45Mal.'Remember who commended thy yellow stockings,'—

Mal.'Remember who commended thy yellow stockings,'—

Oli.Thyyellow stockings!

Mal.'And wished to see thee cross-gartered.'

Oli.Cross-gartered!

50Mal.'Go to, thou art made, if thou desirest to be so;'—

Mal.'Go to, thou art made, if thou desirest to be so;'—

Oli.Am I made?

Mal.'If not, let me see thee a servant still.'

Oli.Why, this isverymidsummer madness.

EnterServant.

Ser.Madam, the young gentleman of theCountOrsino's55is returned: I could hardly entreat him back: heattends your ladyship's pleasure.

Ser.Madam, the young gentleman of theCountOrsino's

is returned: I could hardly entreat him back: he

attends your ladyship's pleasure.

Oli.I'll come to him.[Exit Servant.]Good Maria,let this fellow be looked to. Where's mycousinToby?Let some of my people have a special care of him: I would60not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry.[Exeunt Olivia and Maria.

Oli.I'll come to him.[Exit Servant.]Good Maria,

let this fellow be looked to. Where's mycousinToby?

Let some of my people have a special care of him: I would

not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry.

[Exeunt Olivia and Maria.

Mal.O, ho! do you come near me now? no worse manthan Sir Toby to look to me! This concurs directly withthe letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appearstubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter.65'Cast thy humble slough,' says she; 'be opposite with akinsman, surly with servants; let thy tonguetang withargumentsof state; put thyself into the trick of singularity;'and consequently sets down the manner how; as, a sad face,a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of some sir70of note, and so forth. I have limed her; but it isJove'sdoing, andJovemake me thankful! And when she wentaway now, 'Let this fellow be looked to:' fellow! not Malvolio,nor after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thingadheres together, that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a75scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance—Whatcan be said? Nothing that can be can come betweenme and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove,not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked.

Mal.O, ho! do you come near me now? no worse man

than Sir Toby to look to me! This concurs directly with

the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appear

stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter.

'Cast thy humble slough,' says she; 'be opposite with a

kinsman, surly with servants; let thy tonguetang witharguments

of state; put thyself into the trick of singularity;'

and consequently sets down the manner how; as, a sad face,

a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of some sir

of note, and so forth. I have limed her; but it isJove's

doing, andJovemake me thankful! And when she went

away now, 'Let this fellow be looked to:' fellow! not Malvolio,

nor after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing

adheres together, that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a

scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance—What

can be said? Nothing that can be can come between

me and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove,

not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked.

Re-enterMaria,withSir TobyandFabian.

Sir To.Which way is he, in the name ofsanctity?If80all the devils of hell be drawn in little, and Legion himselfpossessed him, yet I'll speak to him.

Sir To.Which way is he, in the name ofsanctity?If

all the devils of hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself

possessed him, yet I'll speak to him.

Fab.Here he is, here he is.How is'twith you, sir?how is't with you, man?

Fab.Here he is, here he is.How is'twith you, sir?

how is't with you, man?

Mal.Go off; I discard you: let me enjoy myprivate:85go off.

Mal.Go off; I discard you: let me enjoy myprivate:

go off.

Mar.Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! didnot I tell you? Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have acare of him.

Mar.Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did

not I tell you? Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a

care of him.

Mal.Ah, ha! does she so?

90Sir To.Go to, go to; peace, peace; we must dealgently with him: letmealone. Howdo you, Malvolio?how is't with you? What, man! defy the devil; consider,he's an enemy to mankind.

Sir To.Go to, go to; peace, peace; we must deal

gently with him: letmealone. Howdo you, Malvolio?

how is't with you? What, man! defy the devil; consider,

he's an enemy to mankind.

Mal.Do you know what you say?

95Mar.La you,anyou speak ill of the devil, how hetakes it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched!

Mar.La you,anyou speak ill of the devil, how he

takes it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched!

Fab.Carry his water to the wise woman.

Mar.Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning,if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll100say.

Mar.Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning,

if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll

say.

Mal.How now, mistress!

Mar.O Lord!

Sir To.Prithee, hold thy peace;thisis not the way:do you not see you move him?let me alone with him.

Sir To.Prithee, hold thy peace;thisis not the way:

do you not see you move him?let me alone with him.

105Fab.No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiendis rough, and will not be roughly used.

Fab.No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiend

is rough, and will not be roughly used.

Sir To.Why, how now, mybawcock! how dost thou,chuck?

Sir To.Why, how now, mybawcock! how dost thou,

chuck?

Mal.Sir!

110Sir To.Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 'tisnot for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan: hang him,foul collier!

Sir To.Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 'tis

not for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan: hang him,

foul collier!

Mar.Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, gethim to pray.

Mar.Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, get

him to pray.

115Mal.My prayers, minx!

Mal.My prayers, minx!

Mar.No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.

Mal.Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shallowthings: I am not of your element: you shall know morehereafter.[Exit.

Mal.Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shallow

things: I am not of your element: you shall know more

hereafter.[Exit.

120Sir To.Is't possible?

Sir To.Is't possible?

Fab.If this were played upon a stage now, I couldcondemn it as an improbable fiction.

Fab.If this were played upon a stage now, I could

condemn it as an improbable fiction.

Sir To.His very genius hath taken the infection ofthe device, man.

Sir To.His very genius hath taken the infection of

the device, man.

125Mar.Nay, pursue him now,lestthe device take airand taint.

Mar.Nay, pursue him now,lestthe device take air

and taint.

Fab.Why, we shall make him mad indeed.

Mar.The housewillbe the quieter.

Sir To.Come, we'll have him in a dark room and130bound. My niece is already in the belief that he's mad:we may carry it thus, for our pleasure and his penance, tillour very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to havemercy on him: at which time we will bring the device tothe bar and crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see,135but see.

Sir To.Come, we'll have him in a dark room and

bound. My niece is already in the belief that he's mad:

we may carry it thus, for our pleasure and his penance, till

our very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have

mercy on him: at which time we will bring the device to

the bar and crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see,

but see.

EnterSir Andrew.

Fab.More matter for a May morning.

Sir And.Here's the challenge, read it: I warrantthere's vinegar and pepper in't.

Sir And.Here's the challenge, read it: I warrant

there's vinegar and pepper in't.

Fab.Is't so saucy?

140Sir And.Ay, is't, I warrant him: do but read.

Sir And.Ay, is't, I warrant him: do but read.

Sir To.Give me.[Reads]Youth, whatsoever thou art,thou art but a scurvy fellow.

Sir To.Give me.[Reads]Youth, whatsoever thou art,

thou art but a scurvy fellow.

Fab.Good, and valiant.

Sir To.[reads]Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why145I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't.

Sir To.[reads]Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why

I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't.

Fab.Agoodnote; that keeps you from the blow ofthe law.

Fab.Agoodnote; that keeps you from the blow of

the law.

Sir To.[reads]Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in mysight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat; that is not the150matter I challenge thee for.

Sir To.[reads]Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my

sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat; that is not the

matter I challenge thee for.

Fab.Very brief, andtoexceeding goodsense—less.

Sir To.[reads]I will waylay thee going home; where if it bethy chance to kill me,—

Sir To.[reads]I will waylay thee going home; where if it be

thy chance to kill me,—

Fab.Good.

155Sir To.[reads]Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain.

Sir To.[reads]Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain.

Fab.Still you keep o' the windy side of the law:good.

Fab.Still you keep o' the windy side of the law:

good.

Sir To.[reads]Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon oneof our souls! He may have mercy uponmine; but my hope is better,160and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy swornenemy,Andrew Aguecheek.

Sir To.[reads]Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon one

of our souls! He may have mercy uponmine; but my hope is better,

and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn

enemy,Andrew Aguecheek.

Ifthis letter move him not, his legs cannot: I'll give'thim.

Ifthis letter move him not, his legs cannot: I'll give't

him.

Mar.You may have very fit occasion for't: he is165now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and bydepart.

Mar.You may have very fit occasion for't: he is

now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by

depart.

Sir To.Go, Sir Andrew; scout me for him at the cornerof the orchard like abum-baily: so soon as ever thouseest him, draw; and, as thou drawest, swearhorrible; for170it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggeringaccent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbationthan ever proof itself would have earned him.Away!

Sir To.Go, Sir Andrew; scout me for him at the corner

of the orchard like abum-baily: so soon as ever thou

seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest, swearhorrible; for

it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering

accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation

than ever proof itself would have earned him.

Away!

Sir And.Nay, let me alone for swearing.[Exit.

175Sir To.Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behaviourof the young gentleman gives him out to be ofgood capacity and breeding; his employment between hislord and my niece confirms no less: therefore this letter,being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the180youth: he will findit comesfrom a clodpole. But, sir, I willdeliver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon Aguecheeka notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman,as I know his youth will aptly receive it, into a mosthideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury and impetuosity.185This will so fright them both, that they will kill one anotherby the look, like cockatrices.

Sir To.Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behaviour

of the young gentleman gives him out to be of

good capacity and breeding; his employment between his

lord and my niece confirms no less: therefore this letter,

being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the

youth: he will findit comesfrom a clodpole. But, sir, I will

deliver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon Aguecheek

a notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman,

as I know his youth will aptly receive it, into a most

hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury and impetuosity.

This will so fright them both, that they will kill one another

by the look, like cockatrices.

Re-enterOlivia,withViola.

Fab.Here he comes with your niece: give them waytill he take leave, and presently after him.

Fab.Here he comes with your niece: give them way

till he take leave, and presently after him.

Sir To.I will meditate the while upon some horrid190message for a challenge.[Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria.

Sir To.I will meditate the while upon some horrid

message for a challenge.

[Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria.

Oli.I havesaid too much unto a heart of stoneAnd laid mine honour too uncharyout:There's something in me that reproves my fault;But such a headstrong potent fault it is,195That it but mocks reproof.

Oli.I havesaid too much unto a heart of stone

And laid mine honour too uncharyout:

There's something in me that reproves my fault;

But such a headstrong potent fault it is,

That it but mocks reproof.

Vio.With the same'haviour that yourpassion bearsGoeson my master's grief.

Vio.With the same'haviour that yourpassion bears

Goeson my master's grief.

Oli.Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture;Refuse it not; it hath no tongue to vex you;200And I beseech you come again to-morrow.What shall you ask of me that I'll deny,That honour savedmay upon asking give?

Oli.Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture;

Refuse it not; it hath no tongue to vex you;

And I beseech you come again to-morrow.

What shall you ask of me that I'll deny,

That honour savedmay upon asking give?

Vio.Nothing but this;—your true love for my master.

Oli.How with mine honour may I give him thatWhich I have given to you?

Oli.How with mine honour may I give him that

Which I have given to you?

205Vio.I will acquit you.

Vio.I will acquit you.

Oli.Well, come again to-morrow: fare thee well:A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell.[Exit.

Oli.Well, come again to-morrow: fare thee well:

A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell.[Exit.

Re-enterSir TobyandFabian.

Sir To.Gentleman, God save thee.

Vio.And you, sir.

210Sir To.That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: ofwhat nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I knownot; but thyintercepter, full of despite, bloody as thehunter, attends thee at the orchard-end: dismount thy tuck,be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful215and deadly.

Sir To.That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of

what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know

not; but thyintercepter, full of despite, bloody as the

hunter, attends thee at the orchard-end: dismount thy tuck,

be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful

and deadly.

Vio.You mistake,sir; I am sureno man hath anyquarrel to me: my remembrance is very free and clearfrom any image of offence done to any man.

Vio.You mistake,sir; I am sureno man hath any

quarrel to me: my remembrance is very free and clear

from any image of offence done to any man.

Sir To.You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore,220if you hold your life at any price, betake you to yourguard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength,skill and wrath can furnishmanwithal.

Sir To.You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore,

if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your

guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength,

skill and wrath can furnishmanwithal.

Vio.I pray you, sir, what is he?

Sir To.He isknight, dubbed withunhatchedrapier225and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in privatebrawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensementat this moment is so implacable, that satisfactioncan be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre. Hob,nob, is his word; give't or take't.

Sir To.He isknight, dubbed withunhatchedrapier

and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private

brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensement

at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction

can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre. Hob,

nob, is his word; give't or take't.

230Vio.I will return again into the house and desire someconduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard ofsome kind of men that put quarrels purposely on others, totaste their valour: belike this is a man of that quirk.

Vio.I will return again into the house and desire some

conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of

some kind of men that put quarrels purposely on others, to

taste their valour: belike this is a man of that quirk.

Sir To.Sir, no; his indignationderivesitself out of a235verycompetentinjury: therefore, get you on and give himhis desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertakethat with me which with as much safety you mightanswerhim:therefore, on,orstripyour swordstark naked;for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron240about you.

Sir To.Sir, no; his indignationderivesitself out of a

verycompetentinjury: therefore, get you on and give him

his desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake

that with me which with as much safety you might

answerhim:therefore, on,orstripyour swordstark naked;

for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron

about you.

Vio.This isas uncivilas strange. I beseech you, dome this courteous office,as to knowof the knight what myoffence to him is: it is something of my negligence, nothingof my purpose.

Vio.This isas uncivilas strange. I beseech you, do

me this courteous office,as to knowof the knight what my

offence to him is: it is something of my negligence, nothing

of my purpose.

245Sir To.I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by thisgentleman till my return.[Exit.

Sir To.I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this

gentleman till my return.[Exit.

Vio.Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?

Fab.I know the knight is incensed against you, evento a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance250more.

Fab.I know the knight is incensed against you, even

to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance

more.

Vio.I beseech you, what manner of man is he?

Fab.Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read himby his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of hisvalour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody and255fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in anypart of Illyria. Will you walk towards him? I will makeyour peace with him if I can.

Fab.Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him

by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his

valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody and

fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any

part of Illyria. Will you walk towards him? I will make

your peace with him if I can.

Vio.I shall be much bound to you for't: I am onethat had rather go with sir priest than sir knight: I care not260who knows so much of my mettle.[Exeunt.

Vio.I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one

that had rather go with sir priest than sir knight: I care not

who knows so much of my mettle.[Exeunt.

Re-enterSir Toby,withSir Andrew.

Sir To.Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seensuch afirago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard andall, and he gives me thestuck inwith such a mortal motion,that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he paysyouas265surely as your feethitthe ground they step on. They sayhe has been fencer to the Sophy.

Sir To.Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen

such afirago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard and

all, and he gives me thestuck inwith such a mortal motion,

that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he paysyouas

surely as your feethitthe ground they step on. They say

he has been fencer to the Sophy.

Sir And.Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him.

Sir To.Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabiancan scarce hold himyonder.

Sir To.Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian

can scarce hold himyonder.

270Sir And.Plague on't,anI thought he had been valiantand so cunning in fence, I'ld have seen him damnedere I'ld have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip,and I'll give him my horse, greyCapilet.

Sir And.Plague on't,anI thought he had been valiant

and so cunning in fence, I'ld have seen him damned

ere I'ld have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip,

and I'll give him my horse, greyCapilet.

Sir To.I'll make the motion: stand here, make a good275show on't: this shall end without the perdition of souls.[Aside]Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you.

Sir To.I'll make the motion: stand here, make a good

show on't: this shall end without the perdition of souls.

[Aside]Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you.

Re-enterFabianandViola.

[To Fab.]I have his horse totake upthe quarrel: I havepersuaded him the youth's a devil.

[To Fab.]I have his horse totake upthe quarrel: I have

persuaded him the youth's a devil.

Fab.He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants and280looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels.

Fab.He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants and

looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels.

Sir To.[To Vio.]There's no remedy, sir; he will fightwith you for'soath sake: marry, he hath better bethoughthim of his quarrel, and he finds that nowscarce to beworthtalking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow;285he protests he will not hurt you.

Sir To.[To Vio.]There's no remedy, sir; he will fight

with you for'soath sake: marry, he hath better bethought

him of his quarrel, and he finds that nowscarce to beworth

talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow;

he protests he will not hurt you.

Vio.[Aside]Pray God defend me! A little thingwould make me tell them how much I lack of a man.

Vio.[Aside]Pray God defend me! A little thing

would make me tell them how much I lack of a man.

Fab.Give ground, if you see him furious.

Sir To.Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the290gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout withyou; he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promisedme, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you.Come on; to't.

Sir To.Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the

gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with

you; he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promised

me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you.

Come on; to't.

Sir And.Pray God, he keep his oath!

295Vio.I do assure you, 'tis against my will.[They draw.

Vio.I do assure you, 'tis against my will.[They draw.

EnterAntonio.

Ant.Put up your sword. If this young gentlemanHave done offence, I take the fault on me:If you offend him, I for him defyyou.

Ant.Put up your sword. If this young gentleman

Have done offence, I take the fault on me:

If you offend him, I for him defyyou.

Sir To.You, sir! why, what are you?

300Ant.One, sir, that for his love dares yet do moreThan you have heard him brag to you he will.

Ant.One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more

Than you have heard him brag to you he will.

Sir To.Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.[They draw.

EnterOfficers.

Fab.O good Sir Toby, hold! here come the officers.

Sir To.I'll be with youanon.

305Vio.Pray, sir, put your sword up, if youplease.

Vio.Pray, sir, put your sword up, if youplease.

Sir And.Marry, will I, sir; and, for that I promisedyou, I 'll be as good as my word: he will bear you easilyand reins well.

Sir And.Marry, will I, sir; and, for that I promised

you, I 'll be as good as my word: he will bear you easily

and reins well.

First Off.This is the man; do thy office.

310Sec. Off.Antonio, I arrest thee at thesuitofCountOrsino.

Sec. Off.Antonio, I arrest thee at thesuitofCountOrsino.

Ant.You do mistake me, sir.

First Off.No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well,Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.315Take him away: he knows I know him well.

First Off.No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well,

Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.

Take him away: he knows I know him well.

Ant.I must obey.[To Vio.]This comes with seeking you:But there's no remedy; I shall answer it.What will youdo, nowmy necessityMakes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me320Much more for what I cannot do for youThan what befalls myself. You stand amazed;But be of comfort.

Ant.I must obey.[To Vio.]This comes with seeking you:

But there's no remedy; I shall answer it.

What will youdo, nowmy necessity

Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me

Much more for what I cannot do for you

Than what befalls myself. You stand amazed;

But be of comfort.

Sec. Off.Come, sir, away.

Ant.I must entreat of you some of thatmoney.

325Vio.What money, sir?For the fair kindness you have show'd me here,And, part, being prompted by your present trouble,Out of my lean and low abilityI'll lend you something: my having is not much;330I'll make division of my present with you:Hold, there'shalf my coffer.

Vio.What money, sir?

For the fair kindness you have show'd me here,

And, part, being prompted by your present trouble,

Out of my lean and low ability

I'll lend you something: my having is not much;

I'll make division of my present with you:

Hold, there'shalf my coffer.

Ant.Will you deny menow?Is't possible that my deserts to youCan lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery,Lestthat it make me so unsound a man335As to upbraid you with those kindnessesThat I have done for you.

Ant.Will you deny menow?

Is't possible that my deserts to you

Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery,

Lestthat it make me so unsound a man

As to upbraid you with those kindnesses

That I have done for you.

Vio.I know of none;Nor know I you by voice or any feature:I hate ingratitude more in a manThanlying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,340Or any taint of vice whose strong corruptionInhabits our frail blood.

Vio.I know of none;

Nor know I you by voice or any feature:

I hate ingratitude more in a man

Thanlying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,

Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption

Inhabits our frail blood.

Ant.O heavens themselves!

Sec. Off.Come, sir, Ipray you, go.

Ant.Let mespeaka little.This youththat you see hereI snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death;345Relieved him with such sanctity oflove;And tohisimage, which methought did promiseMostvenerableworth, did I devotion.

Ant.Let mespeaka little.This youththat you see here

I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death;

Relieved him with such sanctity oflove;

And tohisimage, which methought did promise

Mostvenerableworth, did I devotion.

First Off.What's that to us? The time goes by: away!

Ant.But O howvilean idol proves this god!350Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.In nature there's no blemish but the mind;None can be call'd deform'd but the unkind:Virtue is beauty; but thebeauteous evilAre empty trunks, o'erflourish'd by the devil.

Ant.But O howvilean idol proves this god!

Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.

In nature there's no blemish but the mind;

None can be call'd deform'd but the unkind:

Virtue is beauty; but thebeauteous evil

Are empty trunks, o'erflourish'd by the devil.

355First Off.The mangrows mad: away with him!Come, come, sir.

First Off.The mangrows mad: away with him!Come, come, sir.

Ant.Lead me on.[Exitwith Officers.

Vio.Methinks his words do from such passion fly,That he believes himself: so do not I.Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,360That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you!

Vio.Methinks his words do from such passion fly,

That he believes himself: so do not I.

Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,

That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you!

Sir To.Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian:we'llwhisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws.

Sir To.Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian:

we'llwhisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws.

Vio.He named Sebastian: I my brother knowYet living in my glass; even such and so365In favour was my brother, and he wentStill in this fashion, colour, ornament,For him I imitate:O, ifit prove,Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in love![Exit.

Vio.He named Sebastian: I my brother know

Yet living in my glass; even such and so

In favour was my brother, and he went

Still in this fashion, colour, ornament,

For him I imitate:O, ifit prove,

Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in love![Exit.

Sir To.A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward370than a hare: his dishonesty appears in leaving his friendhere in necessity and denying him; and for his cowardship,ask Fabian.

Sir To.A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward

than a hare: his dishonesty appears in leaving his friend

here in necessity and denying him; and for his cowardship,

ask Fabian.

Fab.A coward,a mostdevout coward, religious in it.

Sir And.'Slid, I'll after him again and beat him.

375Sir To.Do; cuff him soundly, butneverdraw thysword.

Sir To.Do; cuff him soundly, butneverdraw thy

sword.

Sir And.AnI donot,—[Exit.

Fab.Come,let'ssee the event.

Sir To.I dare layanymoney 'twill be nothing yet.[Exeunt.

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