CHAPTERIV.

CHAPTERIV.His return to King’s-college after his father’s death and his temptations.WHEN his father was dead he returned again toKing’s-college, and was a member of a society, which began to contrive how they might best be serviceable to God and their generation. Their custom was frequently to meet together, to pray and to communicatestudiesandexperiences. Some of this company grew cold, but others lived to let the world see, that what they did was from avital principle: among whom, this young man was noneof theleast. One of their designs was to engage theJuniors, if possible, before they were ensnared by wicked company, when they came from school. After some time, most of his dear companions weretransplantedeither into gentlemen’s families or livings, andMr.Janeway, being one of the youngest, was, for a while, left alone in theCollege. But wanting suitable society, he fixed so intensely upon his studies, that he soon gave an incurable wound to his constitution.But he had his gloomy days, and his sweets were sometimes imbittered with dreadful and horrid temptations. The devil shot his poisonous arrows at him: yet through the captain of his salvation, he came off more than conqueror.It would make a Christian’s heart even ake to hear what strange temptations he was exercised with. But he was well armed for such a conflict, having the shield of faith, whereby he quenched the fiery darts of that wicked one: yet, this fight cost him the sweating of his body for agonies of spirit; and tears and strong cries to heaven. As for himself, he was wont to take an arrow out of God’s quiver, and discharge it by faith and prayer, for the discomfiture of his violent enemy, who at last was fain to fly.These conflicts with Satan, did not a little help♦him dealing with them that are afflicted with the like temptations. I insert a letter of his to one in the like case.♦“in” replaced with “him” per ErrataDear Friend,‘You say that you are troubled with blasphemous thoughts: so then, though they are blasphemous, yet they are your trouble; and neither sent for, nor welcome. What then shall we think of them? If they were your own production, your heart would be delighted in its own issue, but it is nothing less. They are the injections of that wicked one, who is the accuser of the brethren, and the disturber of the peace of the people of God. But Satan uses only to employ those weapons against those he is in fear of losing? He is not wont to assault and fight against his friends in this manner. Those that he hath fast, he leads on as softly and quietly as he can; fearing lest they should awake, and see their danger: but those that have in some measure escaped his snares, he follows hard, with all the discouragements he can. These things are no other but a bitter relish of those things, which you know to be bitter after you have tasted how good the Lord is. What then shall I call these motions of your mind? They are the soul’s loathing the morsels which Satan would have it swallow: but you will say, if these horrible thoughts be not your sin, yet they are your misery. And you will ask, How shall I get free from them?First, See that you possess your soul in patience: know that God hath an over-ruling hand in all this: and wait upon him, for hecan and will bring good out of all this evil. At present you see no light: yet,Trust in the Lord, and stay yourself upon your God. Can Christ forget the purchase of his own blood?Can a mother forget her sucking child?Yet,God cannot forget his. God hath gracious intents in all this, and his bowels yearn towards you. Yea, our Saviour suffers with us, through his ardent love by sympathy, as well as he hath suffered for us. And you know he hath all power in his hand. This power is made yours through the prayer of faith: but for your own work, do this.‘First, Let not such thoughts have any time of abode in your mind, but turn them out with all the abhorrence you can: yet not with so much trouble and disturbance of mind as I believe you do. For by this the devil is pleased and makes you your own tormentor.‘Secondly, Always divert your thoughts to some good thing, and let those very injections be the occasion of spiritual meditation. Think the quite contrary, or fall a praying with earnestness; and the devil will be weary if he finds his designs thus broken, and that those sparks of hell (which he struck into the soul to kindle corruption,) set faith and prayer a working.‘Thirdly, Consider that this is no new thing; if any soul hath escaped out of darkness, if he will have heaven, he shall have it with as much trouble, as the devil can lay on; but, blessedbe God, he cannot pluck us out of these almighty arms.’His love to Christ and souls, made him very desirousto spend, and be spent in the work of the ministry. Accordingly he complied with the first clear call to preach the everlasting gospel. And though he was but two and twenty years old, yet he came to that work like one that understood what preaching was. He was a workman that needed not be ashamed, that was thoroughly furnished for every good word and work; one that hated sin with a perfect hatred, and loved holiness with all his soul; one that knewthe terrors of the Lord, and how to beseech sinnersin Christ’s stead to be reconciled unto God: one, in whom learning and holiness did as it were strive which could excel. He never preached publicly but twice; but he came to it, as if he had been used to it forty years; delivering the word of God with that power and majesty, with that tenderness and compassion, with that readiness and freedom, that it made his hearers amazed. He spoke nothing to others but what was the language of his heart, and the fruit of great experience, and which one might easily perceive had no small impression first upon his own spirit.Hisfirstandlastsermons were upon communion with God, out ofJobxxii.21. A subject that few Christians under heaven were better able to manage than himself: for he did for some time maintain such an intimate familiarity withGod, that he seemed to converse with him as a friend with another. This he began whilst he was here: but the perfecting his acquaintance with God, was a work for another world.He kept an exact watch over his thoughts, words and actions, and made a review of all, at least once a day. He kept adiary, in which he set down every evening what the frame of his spirit had been all the day, especially in every duty. He took notice what profit he received; what returns from that far country; what answers of prayer, what deadness and flatness, and what observable providences. He set down the substance of what he had been doing: and any wanderings of thoughts, or passion. It cannot be conceived by them who do not practise this, to what a good account it turned. This made him retain a grateful remembrance of mercy, and live in a constant adoring of divine goodness; this brought him to a very intimate acquaintance with his own heart; kept his spirit low, and fitted him for free communications from God; this made him more lively and active; helped him to walk humbly with God; and made him speak more affectionately and experimentally to others of the things of God. In a word, this left a sweet calm upon his spirits, because he every night made even his accounts; and if his sheets should prove his winding-sheet, it had been all one; for his work was done; so that death could not surprize him.

His return to King’s-college after his father’s death and his temptations.

WHEN his father was dead he returned again toKing’s-college, and was a member of a society, which began to contrive how they might best be serviceable to God and their generation. Their custom was frequently to meet together, to pray and to communicatestudiesandexperiences. Some of this company grew cold, but others lived to let the world see, that what they did was from avital principle: among whom, this young man was noneof theleast. One of their designs was to engage theJuniors, if possible, before they were ensnared by wicked company, when they came from school. After some time, most of his dear companions weretransplantedeither into gentlemen’s families or livings, andMr.Janeway, being one of the youngest, was, for a while, left alone in theCollege. But wanting suitable society, he fixed so intensely upon his studies, that he soon gave an incurable wound to his constitution.

But he had his gloomy days, and his sweets were sometimes imbittered with dreadful and horrid temptations. The devil shot his poisonous arrows at him: yet through the captain of his salvation, he came off more than conqueror.

It would make a Christian’s heart even ake to hear what strange temptations he was exercised with. But he was well armed for such a conflict, having the shield of faith, whereby he quenched the fiery darts of that wicked one: yet, this fight cost him the sweating of his body for agonies of spirit; and tears and strong cries to heaven. As for himself, he was wont to take an arrow out of God’s quiver, and discharge it by faith and prayer, for the discomfiture of his violent enemy, who at last was fain to fly.

These conflicts with Satan, did not a little help♦him dealing with them that are afflicted with the like temptations. I insert a letter of his to one in the like case.

♦“in” replaced with “him” per Errata

Dear Friend,

‘You say that you are troubled with blasphemous thoughts: so then, though they are blasphemous, yet they are your trouble; and neither sent for, nor welcome. What then shall we think of them? If they were your own production, your heart would be delighted in its own issue, but it is nothing less. They are the injections of that wicked one, who is the accuser of the brethren, and the disturber of the peace of the people of God. But Satan uses only to employ those weapons against those he is in fear of losing? He is not wont to assault and fight against his friends in this manner. Those that he hath fast, he leads on as softly and quietly as he can; fearing lest they should awake, and see their danger: but those that have in some measure escaped his snares, he follows hard, with all the discouragements he can. These things are no other but a bitter relish of those things, which you know to be bitter after you have tasted how good the Lord is. What then shall I call these motions of your mind? They are the soul’s loathing the morsels which Satan would have it swallow: but you will say, if these horrible thoughts be not your sin, yet they are your misery. And you will ask, How shall I get free from them?First, See that you possess your soul in patience: know that God hath an over-ruling hand in all this: and wait upon him, for hecan and will bring good out of all this evil. At present you see no light: yet,Trust in the Lord, and stay yourself upon your God. Can Christ forget the purchase of his own blood?Can a mother forget her sucking child?Yet,God cannot forget his. God hath gracious intents in all this, and his bowels yearn towards you. Yea, our Saviour suffers with us, through his ardent love by sympathy, as well as he hath suffered for us. And you know he hath all power in his hand. This power is made yours through the prayer of faith: but for your own work, do this.

‘First, Let not such thoughts have any time of abode in your mind, but turn them out with all the abhorrence you can: yet not with so much trouble and disturbance of mind as I believe you do. For by this the devil is pleased and makes you your own tormentor.

‘Secondly, Always divert your thoughts to some good thing, and let those very injections be the occasion of spiritual meditation. Think the quite contrary, or fall a praying with earnestness; and the devil will be weary if he finds his designs thus broken, and that those sparks of hell (which he struck into the soul to kindle corruption,) set faith and prayer a working.

‘Thirdly, Consider that this is no new thing; if any soul hath escaped out of darkness, if he will have heaven, he shall have it with as much trouble, as the devil can lay on; but, blessedbe God, he cannot pluck us out of these almighty arms.’

His love to Christ and souls, made him very desirousto spend, and be spent in the work of the ministry. Accordingly he complied with the first clear call to preach the everlasting gospel. And though he was but two and twenty years old, yet he came to that work like one that understood what preaching was. He was a workman that needed not be ashamed, that was thoroughly furnished for every good word and work; one that hated sin with a perfect hatred, and loved holiness with all his soul; one that knewthe terrors of the Lord, and how to beseech sinnersin Christ’s stead to be reconciled unto God: one, in whom learning and holiness did as it were strive which could excel. He never preached publicly but twice; but he came to it, as if he had been used to it forty years; delivering the word of God with that power and majesty, with that tenderness and compassion, with that readiness and freedom, that it made his hearers amazed. He spoke nothing to others but what was the language of his heart, and the fruit of great experience, and which one might easily perceive had no small impression first upon his own spirit.

Hisfirstandlastsermons were upon communion with God, out ofJobxxii.21. A subject that few Christians under heaven were better able to manage than himself: for he did for some time maintain such an intimate familiarity withGod, that he seemed to converse with him as a friend with another. This he began whilst he was here: but the perfecting his acquaintance with God, was a work for another world.

He kept an exact watch over his thoughts, words and actions, and made a review of all, at least once a day. He kept adiary, in which he set down every evening what the frame of his spirit had been all the day, especially in every duty. He took notice what profit he received; what returns from that far country; what answers of prayer, what deadness and flatness, and what observable providences. He set down the substance of what he had been doing: and any wanderings of thoughts, or passion. It cannot be conceived by them who do not practise this, to what a good account it turned. This made him retain a grateful remembrance of mercy, and live in a constant adoring of divine goodness; this brought him to a very intimate acquaintance with his own heart; kept his spirit low, and fitted him for free communications from God; this made him more lively and active; helped him to walk humbly with God; and made him speak more affectionately and experimentally to others of the things of God. In a word, this left a sweet calm upon his spirits, because he every night made even his accounts; and if his sheets should prove his winding-sheet, it had been all one; for his work was done; so that death could not surprize him.

CHAPTERV.An account of the latter part of his life.FOR the latter part of his life, he lived like a man that was quite weary of the world, and that looked upon himself as a stranger here, and lived in the constant sight of a better. He plainly declared himself but a pilgrim that looked for a better country, a city that had foundations, whose builder and maker was God. His habit, his language, his deportment, all spoke him one of another world. His meditations were so intense, long, and frequent, that they ripened him apace for heaven. Few attain to such a holy contempt of the world, and to such a clear, joyful constant apprehension of the world that is to come.He made it his whole business to grow into an humble familiarity with God, and to maintain it. And if by reason of company, or any necessary business, this was in any measure interrupted, he would complain like one out of his element, till his spirit was recovered into a delightful, unmixed, free intercourse with God. He was never so well satisfied, as when he was more immediately engaged in what brought him nearer to God; and by this he constantly enjoyed those comforts, which others rarely meet with. Hisgraces and experiences toward his end grew to astonishment. He was oft brought into the banqueting-house, and there Christ’s banner over him was love. His eyes beheld the king in his beauty: he had frequent visions of glory, and lay in the bosom of his master. He was even sick of love, and could say to the world,O taste and see! And to Christians,Come and I will tell you what God hath done for my soul. O what do Christians mean that they do no more to get their senses spiritually exercised? Little do people think what they slight, when they are formal in secret duties, and when they neglect that great duty ofmeditation. Did they but know the thousandth part of that sweetness that is in Christ, they could not choose but follow him hard; they would run and not be weary; and walk and not be faint.In the midst of all worldly comforts he longed for death; and the thoughts of the day of judgment made all his enjoyments sweeter. O, how did he long for the coming of Christ! Whilst some have been discoursing by him of that great and terrible day of the Lord, he would smile, and humbly express his delight in the forethought of its approach.I remember once, one had foretold thatdoomsdayshould be upon such a day: although he blamed their daring folly, yet granting their suspicion to be true, he said, what if the day of judgment were to come, as it certainly will comeshortly? If I were sure it were to begin within an hour, I should be glad with all my heart. If at this instant I should hear such thunderings, and see such lightnings, as Israel did at mountSinai, my very heart would leap for joy. Through infinite mercy, the very meditation of that day ravishes my soul, and the thought of the nearness of it is more refreshing than the comforts of the whole world. Surely nothing can more revive my spirits than to behold the blessed Jesus, the joy, and life of my soul. Would it not more rejoice me thanJoseph’s waggons did oldJacob? I lately dreamed that the day of judgment was come. Methought I heard terrible cracks of thunder, and saw dreadful lightnings; the foundations of the earth shook, and the heavens were rolled together as a garment; methought I saw the graves opened, and the earth and sea giving up their dead; I saw millions of angels, and Christ coming in clouds. I beheld the Ancient of Days sitting upon his throne, and all other thrones cast down. I beheld him whose garments were white as snow, and the hair of his head like pure wool: His throne was like the fiery flame, and his wheels as burning fire; ten thousand times ten thousand stood before him; and the judgment was set and the books were opened. Oh with what an extasy of joy was I surprized! It was the most heart-raising sight that ever my eyes beheld: I cried out,I have waited for thy salvationO God; and mounted into the air, to meet my Lord.This was the condition ofMr.Janewayfor about three years before he died. He had some clouds; but he usually walked in a sweet, even, humble serenity of spirit; having his heart fixed upon that rock that neither waves nor winds could shake.

An account of the latter part of his life.

FOR the latter part of his life, he lived like a man that was quite weary of the world, and that looked upon himself as a stranger here, and lived in the constant sight of a better. He plainly declared himself but a pilgrim that looked for a better country, a city that had foundations, whose builder and maker was God. His habit, his language, his deportment, all spoke him one of another world. His meditations were so intense, long, and frequent, that they ripened him apace for heaven. Few attain to such a holy contempt of the world, and to such a clear, joyful constant apprehension of the world that is to come.

He made it his whole business to grow into an humble familiarity with God, and to maintain it. And if by reason of company, or any necessary business, this was in any measure interrupted, he would complain like one out of his element, till his spirit was recovered into a delightful, unmixed, free intercourse with God. He was never so well satisfied, as when he was more immediately engaged in what brought him nearer to God; and by this he constantly enjoyed those comforts, which others rarely meet with. Hisgraces and experiences toward his end grew to astonishment. He was oft brought into the banqueting-house, and there Christ’s banner over him was love. His eyes beheld the king in his beauty: he had frequent visions of glory, and lay in the bosom of his master. He was even sick of love, and could say to the world,O taste and see! And to Christians,Come and I will tell you what God hath done for my soul. O what do Christians mean that they do no more to get their senses spiritually exercised? Little do people think what they slight, when they are formal in secret duties, and when they neglect that great duty ofmeditation. Did they but know the thousandth part of that sweetness that is in Christ, they could not choose but follow him hard; they would run and not be weary; and walk and not be faint.

In the midst of all worldly comforts he longed for death; and the thoughts of the day of judgment made all his enjoyments sweeter. O, how did he long for the coming of Christ! Whilst some have been discoursing by him of that great and terrible day of the Lord, he would smile, and humbly express his delight in the forethought of its approach.

I remember once, one had foretold thatdoomsdayshould be upon such a day: although he blamed their daring folly, yet granting their suspicion to be true, he said, what if the day of judgment were to come, as it certainly will comeshortly? If I were sure it were to begin within an hour, I should be glad with all my heart. If at this instant I should hear such thunderings, and see such lightnings, as Israel did at mountSinai, my very heart would leap for joy. Through infinite mercy, the very meditation of that day ravishes my soul, and the thought of the nearness of it is more refreshing than the comforts of the whole world. Surely nothing can more revive my spirits than to behold the blessed Jesus, the joy, and life of my soul. Would it not more rejoice me thanJoseph’s waggons did oldJacob? I lately dreamed that the day of judgment was come. Methought I heard terrible cracks of thunder, and saw dreadful lightnings; the foundations of the earth shook, and the heavens were rolled together as a garment; methought I saw the graves opened, and the earth and sea giving up their dead; I saw millions of angels, and Christ coming in clouds. I beheld the Ancient of Days sitting upon his throne, and all other thrones cast down. I beheld him whose garments were white as snow, and the hair of his head like pure wool: His throne was like the fiery flame, and his wheels as burning fire; ten thousand times ten thousand stood before him; and the judgment was set and the books were opened. Oh with what an extasy of joy was I surprized! It was the most heart-raising sight that ever my eyes beheld: I cried out,I have waited for thy salvationO God; and mounted into the air, to meet my Lord.

This was the condition ofMr.Janewayfor about three years before he died. He had some clouds; but he usually walked in a sweet, even, humble serenity of spirit; having his heart fixed upon that rock that neither waves nor winds could shake.

CHAPTERVI.His last sickness and death.HE now fell into a deep consumption; but, this messenger of God did not in the least damp him. Spitting of blood, was no ghastly thing to one who had his eye upon the blood of Jesus; faint sweats did not daunt him that had always such reviving cordials at hand. It was matter of joy to him, that he was now in hopes of having his earnest desires satisfied.After he had been a while sick, a hidden dimness seized upon his eyes: by and by his sight quite failed; and there was such a visible alteration in him, that he and others judged these things to be the symptoms of death approaching. But when he was thus taken he was not in the least surprized; but was lifted up with joy to think what a life he was going to,looking upon death itself as one of his fathers servants, and his friend, that was sent as a messenger to conduct him safely to his glorious palace.But it pleased the Lord to raise him again a little out of his fainting fit, for his Master had yet more work for him to do. Although his outward man decayed apace, yet he was renewed in the inward man day by day: his graces were never more active, and his experience never greater. When one would have thought, it had been enough for him to grapple with his pains, he quite forgot his weakness: and was so swallowed up of the life to come, that he had scarce leisure to think of his sickness.For several weeks together, I never heard the least word that savoured of any complaint or weariness under the hand of God. Now was the time when one might have seen heaven and the glory of another world realized to sense. His faith grew exceedingly, and his love was proportionable, and his joys were equal to both.It was a very heaven upon earth, to hear and see a man admiring God at such a rate. Those that did not see, cannot well conceive, what a sweet frame he was in, for at least six weeks before he died. His soul was almost always filled with those joys unspeakable and full of glory. How oft would he cry out, “Oh, that I could let you know what I now feel! Oh, that I couldshew you what I see! Oh that I could express the thousandth part of that sweetness that I find in Christ! You would all think it well worth the while to make it your business to be religious. Oh my dear friends, we little think what Christ is worth upon a death bed. I would not for a world, nay for millions of worlds, be now without Christ, and a pardon. I would not for a world be to live any longer: the very thoughts of a possibility of recovery, make me tremble.”When one came to visit him, and told him, that he hoped it might please God to raise him again.And do you think to please me(said he)by such discourse as this?No, friend, you are much mistaken if you think that the thoughts of life and health are pleasing to me. The world hath quite lost its excellency in my judgment. How poor a thing is it in all its glory compared with that world which I now live in the sight of! And as for life, Christ is my life, health, and strength; and I know, I shall have another kind of life, when I leave this. I tell you it would incomparably more please me, if you should say to me, “before to-morrow you will be in eternity.” I so long to be with Christ, that I could be contented to be cut in pieces, so I might but die and be with him. Oh how sweet is Jesus!Come Lord Jesus, come quickly.Death do thy worst! Death hath lost it terribleness. Death, it is nothing, I say, death is nothing (through grace) to me. I can as easily die as shut my eyes, toturn my head and sleep:I long to be with Christ; I long to die!His mother and brethren standing by him he said; “Dear mother, I beseech you, that you would chearfully give me up to Christ; do not hinder me, now I am going to rest in glory. I am afraid of your prayers, lest they pull one way, and mine another.”And then turning to his brethren, he said, “I charge you do not pray for my life; you do me wrong if you do. Oh that glory, the unspeakable glory that I behold! My heart is full, my heart is full. Christ smiles, and I cannot chuse but smile: can you find in your heart to stop me, who am now going to the compleat and eternal enjoyment of Christ? Would you keep me from my crown? The arms of my blessed Saviour are open to embrace me; the angels stand ready to carry my soul into his bosom. Oh, did you but see what I see, you would all cry out with me, how long, dear Lord; come, Lord Jesus, come quickly! oh, why are his chariot-wheels so long a coming!”A minister came often to him, and discoursed with him of the excellency of Christ, and the glory of the invisible world.Sir, said he,I feel something of it; my heart is as full as it can hold in this lower state; I can hold no more here. Oh that I could let you know what I feel!This holy minister praying with him, his soul was ravished with the abundant incomes of light,life, and love; so that he could scarce bear the thought of staying longer in the world, but longed to be in such a condition, wherein he should be better able to bear that weight of glory; some manifestations whereof did almost sink his weak body. Indeed had he not been sustained by a great power, his very joys would have overwhelmed him. While he was in these extasies of joy and love, he was wont to cry out:‘Who am I, Lord, who am I, that thou shouldst be mindful of me! Why me, Lord, why me! Oh, what shall I say unto thee, thou preserver of men! Oh why me, Lord, why me! If thou wilt look upon such a poor worm, who can hinder! Who would not love thee! Oh blessed Father? How sweet and gracious hast thou been unto me!’*‘Stand astonished, ye heavens, and wonder, O ye angels, at his infinite grace! Was ever any under heaven more beholding to free grace than I? Doth God use to do thus with his creatures? Admire him for ever and ever, Oh ye redeemed ones! Oh those joys, the taste of which I have! The everlasting joys, which are at his right hand for evermore! Eternity, eternity itself is too short to praise this God in. O bless the Lord with me, come let us shout for joy, and boast in the God of our salvation. Oh, help me to praise the Lord, for his mercy endureth for ever.’One of his brethren (that had formerly been wrought upon by his holy exhortations) praying with him, and seeing him (as he apprehended) near his dissolution, desired that the Lord would be pleased to continue those astonishing comforts to the last moment, that he might go from one heaven to another; and when his work was done here, might have an easy and triumphant passage to rest.Mean time he talked as if he had been in the third heaven, and broke out:‘Oh, he is come! He is come! O how sweet! How glorious is the blessed Jesus! What shall I do to speak the thousandth part of his praises! Oh for words, to set out a little of that excellency! But it is inexpressible! Oh how excellent, glorious and lovely is the precious Jesus! He is sweet, he is altogether lovely! And now I am sick of love, he hath ravished my soul with his beauty! I shall die sick of love!‘Oh my friends, stand by and wonder, come look upon a dying man, and wonder; I cannot myself but stand and wonder! Was there ever a greater kindness; was there ever sensibler manifestations of rich grace! Oh, why me! Lord, why me! Sure this is akin to heaven, and if I were never to enjoy any more than this: it were well worth all the torments that men and devils could invent, to come through even hell to such transcendent joys. If thisbe dying, let no true Christian ever be afraid of dying. Oh death is sweet to me. This bed is soft. Christ’s arms and kisses, his smiles and visits, would turn hell into heaven. Oh that you did but see and feel what I do! Come and behold a dying man, more chearful than ever you saw an healthful man in the midst of his sweetest enjoyments. Oh Sirs, worldly pleasures are poor, sorry things, compared with one glimpse of this glory, which shines in so strongly into my soul! Oh why should any of you be so sad, when I am glad: this, this is the hour that I have waited for!’About eight and forty hours before his death, his eyes were dim, and his sight failed; his jaws shook and trembled, and his feet were cold, and all the symptoms of death were upon him. His extreme parts were already dead, and yet, his joys were (if possible) greater still. He seemed to be in one continued act of seraphic love and praise. He spake like one that was just entring into the gates of the newJerusalem: the greatest part of him was now in heaven; not a word dropt from his mouth but it breathed Christ and heaven.Then he would give instructions to them that came to see him. He was scarce ever silent, because the love of Christ and souls constrained him. There was so much work done for Christ in his last hours, that he did as much in one hour as some do in a year.Every person had a faithful affectionate warning. And that good minister, that was so much with him, used this as an argument to persuade him to be willing to live a little longer, “God hath something for thee to do that is yet undone; some word of exhortation to some poor soul, that you have forgot.”He was wont every evening to take his leave of his friends, hoping not to see them till the morning of the resurrection; and he desired that they would make sure of a comfortable meeting at our Father’s house in that other world.When Ministers or Christians came to him, he would beg of them to spend all the time they had with him in praise. ‘O help me to praise God, I have nothing to do from this time to eternity, but to praise and love God. I have what my soul desires upon earth; I cannot tell what to pray for, but what I have graciously given.’ The wants that are capable of supplying in this world, are supplied. I want but one thing, and that is,a speedy lift to heaven. I expect no more here, I can’t desire more, I can’t hear more. Oh praise, praise, praise that infinite boundless love that hath, to a wonder, looked upon my soul. ‘Help me, O my friends, to praise and admire him that hath done such astonishing wonders for my soul: he hath pardoned all my sins, he hath filled me with his goodness; he hath given me grace andglory, and no good thing hath he withheld from me.‘Come, help me with praises, all are too little: come, help me, Oh ye glorious and mighty angels, who are so well skilled in this heavenly work. Praise him, all ye creatures upon earth, let every thing that hath being, help me to praise him, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah: praise is now my work, and I shall be engaged in that sweet employment for ever. Bring the bible, turn toDavid’s psalms, and let us sing apsalmof praise: come let us lift up our voice in the praise of the Most High; I with you as long as my breath doth last, and when I have none, I shall do it better.’Then turning to some of his friends that were weeping, he desired them rather to rejoice than weep. It may seem a wonder, he could speak so much as he did when he was so weak; but the joy of the Lord strengthened him.He commended the study of the promises to believers, and desired that they would be sure to make good their claim to them, and then they might come to the wells of consolation and drink thereof their fill.According to his desire most of the time that was spent with him, was spent in praise; and he would be still calling out,more praise still. ‘O help me to praise him; I have now nothing else to do; I have done with prayer and all other ordinances; Ihave almost done conversing with mortals. I shall presently be beholding Christ himself, that died for me, and loved me, and washed me in his blood.‘I shall, before a few hours are over, be in eternity, singing the song ofMoses, and of theLamb. I shall presently stand upon mountZion, with an innumerable company of angels, and the spirits of the just made perfect, and Jesus the mediator of the new covenant. I shall hear the voice of much people, and be one amongst them, which shall say, hallelujah, salvation, glory, honour, and power unto the Lord our God; and again, we shall say, hallelujah. Yet a very little while, and I shall sing unto theLamb, saying, worthy, art thou to receive praise who wert slain, and hast redeemed us to God by thy blood, out of every kindred, and tongue, and people, and nation, and hast made us unto our God, kings, and priests, and we shall reign with thee for ever and ever.‘Methinks, I stand, as it were, with one foot in heaven, and the other upon earth. Methinks I hear the melody of heaven, and see the angels waiting to carry my soul to the bosom of Jesus, I shall be for ever with the Lord in glory. And who can chuse but rejoice in all this?’The day before his death, he looked earnestly on his brotherJames, who stood by him verysad; of whom he judged, that he was putting up some ejaculation to God upon his account:I thank thee, my dear brother, for thy love, said he,thou art now praying for me; and I know thou hast loved me dearly: but Christ loved me ten thousand times more than thou dost; come and kiss me dear brother, before I die. And so with his cold, dying lips he kissed him, and said,I shall go before, and I hope thou shalt follow after to glory.Though he was almost always praising God, and exhorting them that were about him to mind their everlasting concerns, and though he slept but very little for some nights, yet he was not in the least impaired in his intellectuals, but his actions were all decent and becoming, and his discourse rational, solid, divine. And so he continued to the last minute.A few hours before his death he called all his relations together, that he might give them one solemn warning more; and bless them, and pray for them as his breath and strength would give him leave: which he did with abundance of authority, affection and spirituality.First, he thanked his dear mother for her tender love to him, and desired that she might be in travail to see Christ formed in the souls of the rest of her children, and might see of the travail of her soul, and meet them with joy in that great day.Thenhe charged all his brethren and sisters as they would answer it before God, to carry it dutiful to their dear mother. And for his eldest brotherWilliam(at whose house he lay sick) his prayer was that he might be swallowed up of Christ and love to souls; and be more and more exemplary in his life and successful in his ministry.His next brother’s name wasAndrew, a citizen ofLondon, who was with him sometimes; but (his necessary business calling him away) he could not then be by. Yet he was not forgot, but he was thus blessed,The God of heaven remember my poor brother atLondon;the Lord make him truly rich in giving him the pearl of great price, and make him a fellow citizen with the saints, and of the houshold of God; the Lord deliver him from the sins of that city; may the world be kept out of his heart. Oh that he may be as his name is, a strong man, and that I may meet him with you.Thenhe called his next brother whose name wasJames(whom God had made him a spiritual father to) and saidbrotherJames,I hope the Lord hath given thee a goodly heritage; the lines are fallen to thee in pleasant places: the Lord is thy portion. Ihope the Lord hath shewed thee the worth of Christ. Hold on, dear brother; Christ, heaven and glory, are worth striving for; the Lord give thee more abundance of his grace.Thenhis next brotherAbrahamwas called, to whom he spake to this purpose,the blessing of the God ofAbrahamrest upon thee, the Lord make thee a father of many spiritual children.Hisfifthbrother wasJoseph, whom he blessed in this manner;Let him bless thee, OhJoseph,that blessed him that was separated from his brethren. O that his everlasting arms may take hold on thee! It is enough, if yet thou mayest live in his sight. My heart hath been working toward thee poorJoseph;and I am not without hopes, that the arms of the Almighty will embrace thee. The God of thy father bless thee with the blessing of heaven above.The nextwas his sister Mary, to whom he spoke thus,poor sisterMary,thy body is weak and thy days will♦be filled with bitterness; thy name isMarah;the Lord sweeten all with his grace and peace, and give thee health in thy soul. Be patient, make sure of Christ, and all is well.♦“he” replaced with “be”Thenhis other sister whose name wasSarahwas called; whom he thus blessed,SisterSarah,thy body is strong and healthful: Oh that thy soul may be so too! The Lord make thee first a wise virgin, and then a mother inIsrael;a pattern of modesty, humility, and holiness.Thenanother brother,Jacobwas called, whom he blessed after this manner;The Lord make thee an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no guile! Oh that thou mayest learn to wrestle with God,and like a prince mayest prevail, and not go without a blessing.Then he prayed for his youngest brotherBenjamin, who was then but an infant;Poor littleBenjamin,O that the Father of the fatherless, would take care of the poor child, that thou, which never sawest thy father upon earth, mayest see him with joy in heaven; The Lord be thy Father, and portion: mayest thou prove the son of thy mother’s right hand, and the joy of her age.‘O that none of us all may be found amongst the unconverted in the day of judgment! Oh that every one of us may appear (with our honoured father and dear mother) before Christ with joy, that they may say, Lord, here are we, and the children which thou hast given us. Oh that we may live to God here, and live with him hereafter.’“And now my dear mother, brethren and sisters, farewell; I leave you for awhile and I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them that are sanctified.”“And now dear Lord, my work is done. I have finished my course, I have fought the good fight; and henceforth there remaineth for me a crown of righteousness! Now come, dear Lord Jesus, come quickly.”Then the minister came to give him his last visit, and to do the office of an inferior angel, tohelp to convey his blessed soul to glory. When the minister spake to him, his heart was in a flame of love, and joy, which drew tears of joy from him, to hear a man just dying, talk as♦if he came from the immediate presence of God. One might have readgraceandgloryin his countenance. Oh the praise, the triumphant praises that he put up! And every one must speak praise about him, or else they made a jar in his harmony.♦“of” replaced with “if” per ErrataAnd indeed most did, as well as they could, help him in praise. So that I never heard, or knew more praise given to God in one room, than in his chamber.A little before he died, in the prayer or rather praises, he was so wrapped up with admiration and joy, that he could scarce forbear shouting for joy. In the conclusion of the duty, with abundance of faith and fervency, he said aloud,Amen, Amen.And now his desires shall soon be satisfied; death comes apace to do his office; his jaws are loosened more and more, his hands and feet are cold as clay, and a cold sweat is upon him: but, oh how glad was he when he felt his spirit just a going! never was death more welcome to any mortal. Though the pangs of death were strong, yet that far more exceeding weight of glory, made him endure bitter pains with much patience and courage. In the extremity of his pains, he desired his eldest brother to take awayone pillow from him that he might die with more ease: His brother replied, that he durst not for a world, do any thing that might hasten his death a moment. Then he was well satisfied, and sweetly resigned himself up wholly to God’s disposal: and after a few minutes, he gave himself a little turn on one side, and departed to the Lord.Oh that all the relations which thou hast left behind thee, may live thy life, and die thy death, and live with Christ and thee, for ever and ever.Amen, Amen.He died June, 1657, aged 23–24, and was buried in Kelshall Church in Hertfordshire.

His last sickness and death.

HE now fell into a deep consumption; but, this messenger of God did not in the least damp him. Spitting of blood, was no ghastly thing to one who had his eye upon the blood of Jesus; faint sweats did not daunt him that had always such reviving cordials at hand. It was matter of joy to him, that he was now in hopes of having his earnest desires satisfied.

After he had been a while sick, a hidden dimness seized upon his eyes: by and by his sight quite failed; and there was such a visible alteration in him, that he and others judged these things to be the symptoms of death approaching. But when he was thus taken he was not in the least surprized; but was lifted up with joy to think what a life he was going to,looking upon death itself as one of his fathers servants, and his friend, that was sent as a messenger to conduct him safely to his glorious palace.

But it pleased the Lord to raise him again a little out of his fainting fit, for his Master had yet more work for him to do. Although his outward man decayed apace, yet he was renewed in the inward man day by day: his graces were never more active, and his experience never greater. When one would have thought, it had been enough for him to grapple with his pains, he quite forgot his weakness: and was so swallowed up of the life to come, that he had scarce leisure to think of his sickness.

For several weeks together, I never heard the least word that savoured of any complaint or weariness under the hand of God. Now was the time when one might have seen heaven and the glory of another world realized to sense. His faith grew exceedingly, and his love was proportionable, and his joys were equal to both.

It was a very heaven upon earth, to hear and see a man admiring God at such a rate. Those that did not see, cannot well conceive, what a sweet frame he was in, for at least six weeks before he died. His soul was almost always filled with those joys unspeakable and full of glory. How oft would he cry out, “Oh, that I could let you know what I now feel! Oh, that I couldshew you what I see! Oh that I could express the thousandth part of that sweetness that I find in Christ! You would all think it well worth the while to make it your business to be religious. Oh my dear friends, we little think what Christ is worth upon a death bed. I would not for a world, nay for millions of worlds, be now without Christ, and a pardon. I would not for a world be to live any longer: the very thoughts of a possibility of recovery, make me tremble.”

When one came to visit him, and told him, that he hoped it might please God to raise him again.And do you think to please me(said he)by such discourse as this?No, friend, you are much mistaken if you think that the thoughts of life and health are pleasing to me. The world hath quite lost its excellency in my judgment. How poor a thing is it in all its glory compared with that world which I now live in the sight of! And as for life, Christ is my life, health, and strength; and I know, I shall have another kind of life, when I leave this. I tell you it would incomparably more please me, if you should say to me, “before to-morrow you will be in eternity.” I so long to be with Christ, that I could be contented to be cut in pieces, so I might but die and be with him. Oh how sweet is Jesus!Come Lord Jesus, come quickly.Death do thy worst! Death hath lost it terribleness. Death, it is nothing, I say, death is nothing (through grace) to me. I can as easily die as shut my eyes, toturn my head and sleep:I long to be with Christ; I long to die!

His mother and brethren standing by him he said; “Dear mother, I beseech you, that you would chearfully give me up to Christ; do not hinder me, now I am going to rest in glory. I am afraid of your prayers, lest they pull one way, and mine another.”

And then turning to his brethren, he said, “I charge you do not pray for my life; you do me wrong if you do. Oh that glory, the unspeakable glory that I behold! My heart is full, my heart is full. Christ smiles, and I cannot chuse but smile: can you find in your heart to stop me, who am now going to the compleat and eternal enjoyment of Christ? Would you keep me from my crown? The arms of my blessed Saviour are open to embrace me; the angels stand ready to carry my soul into his bosom. Oh, did you but see what I see, you would all cry out with me, how long, dear Lord; come, Lord Jesus, come quickly! oh, why are his chariot-wheels so long a coming!”

A minister came often to him, and discoursed with him of the excellency of Christ, and the glory of the invisible world.Sir, said he,I feel something of it; my heart is as full as it can hold in this lower state; I can hold no more here. Oh that I could let you know what I feel!

This holy minister praying with him, his soul was ravished with the abundant incomes of light,life, and love; so that he could scarce bear the thought of staying longer in the world, but longed to be in such a condition, wherein he should be better able to bear that weight of glory; some manifestations whereof did almost sink his weak body. Indeed had he not been sustained by a great power, his very joys would have overwhelmed him. While he was in these extasies of joy and love, he was wont to cry out:

‘Who am I, Lord, who am I, that thou shouldst be mindful of me! Why me, Lord, why me! Oh, what shall I say unto thee, thou preserver of men! Oh why me, Lord, why me! If thou wilt look upon such a poor worm, who can hinder! Who would not love thee! Oh blessed Father? How sweet and gracious hast thou been unto me!’

*‘Stand astonished, ye heavens, and wonder, O ye angels, at his infinite grace! Was ever any under heaven more beholding to free grace than I? Doth God use to do thus with his creatures? Admire him for ever and ever, Oh ye redeemed ones! Oh those joys, the taste of which I have! The everlasting joys, which are at his right hand for evermore! Eternity, eternity itself is too short to praise this God in. O bless the Lord with me, come let us shout for joy, and boast in the God of our salvation. Oh, help me to praise the Lord, for his mercy endureth for ever.’

One of his brethren (that had formerly been wrought upon by his holy exhortations) praying with him, and seeing him (as he apprehended) near his dissolution, desired that the Lord would be pleased to continue those astonishing comforts to the last moment, that he might go from one heaven to another; and when his work was done here, might have an easy and triumphant passage to rest.

Mean time he talked as if he had been in the third heaven, and broke out:

‘Oh, he is come! He is come! O how sweet! How glorious is the blessed Jesus! What shall I do to speak the thousandth part of his praises! Oh for words, to set out a little of that excellency! But it is inexpressible! Oh how excellent, glorious and lovely is the precious Jesus! He is sweet, he is altogether lovely! And now I am sick of love, he hath ravished my soul with his beauty! I shall die sick of love!

‘Oh my friends, stand by and wonder, come look upon a dying man, and wonder; I cannot myself but stand and wonder! Was there ever a greater kindness; was there ever sensibler manifestations of rich grace! Oh, why me! Lord, why me! Sure this is akin to heaven, and if I were never to enjoy any more than this: it were well worth all the torments that men and devils could invent, to come through even hell to such transcendent joys. If thisbe dying, let no true Christian ever be afraid of dying. Oh death is sweet to me. This bed is soft. Christ’s arms and kisses, his smiles and visits, would turn hell into heaven. Oh that you did but see and feel what I do! Come and behold a dying man, more chearful than ever you saw an healthful man in the midst of his sweetest enjoyments. Oh Sirs, worldly pleasures are poor, sorry things, compared with one glimpse of this glory, which shines in so strongly into my soul! Oh why should any of you be so sad, when I am glad: this, this is the hour that I have waited for!’

About eight and forty hours before his death, his eyes were dim, and his sight failed; his jaws shook and trembled, and his feet were cold, and all the symptoms of death were upon him. His extreme parts were already dead, and yet, his joys were (if possible) greater still. He seemed to be in one continued act of seraphic love and praise. He spake like one that was just entring into the gates of the newJerusalem: the greatest part of him was now in heaven; not a word dropt from his mouth but it breathed Christ and heaven.

Then he would give instructions to them that came to see him. He was scarce ever silent, because the love of Christ and souls constrained him. There was so much work done for Christ in his last hours, that he did as much in one hour as some do in a year.

Every person had a faithful affectionate warning. And that good minister, that was so much with him, used this as an argument to persuade him to be willing to live a little longer, “God hath something for thee to do that is yet undone; some word of exhortation to some poor soul, that you have forgot.”

He was wont every evening to take his leave of his friends, hoping not to see them till the morning of the resurrection; and he desired that they would make sure of a comfortable meeting at our Father’s house in that other world.

When Ministers or Christians came to him, he would beg of them to spend all the time they had with him in praise. ‘O help me to praise God, I have nothing to do from this time to eternity, but to praise and love God. I have what my soul desires upon earth; I cannot tell what to pray for, but what I have graciously given.’ The wants that are capable of supplying in this world, are supplied. I want but one thing, and that is,a speedy lift to heaven. I expect no more here, I can’t desire more, I can’t hear more. Oh praise, praise, praise that infinite boundless love that hath, to a wonder, looked upon my soul. ‘Help me, O my friends, to praise and admire him that hath done such astonishing wonders for my soul: he hath pardoned all my sins, he hath filled me with his goodness; he hath given me grace andglory, and no good thing hath he withheld from me.

‘Come, help me with praises, all are too little: come, help me, Oh ye glorious and mighty angels, who are so well skilled in this heavenly work. Praise him, all ye creatures upon earth, let every thing that hath being, help me to praise him, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah: praise is now my work, and I shall be engaged in that sweet employment for ever. Bring the bible, turn toDavid’s psalms, and let us sing apsalmof praise: come let us lift up our voice in the praise of the Most High; I with you as long as my breath doth last, and when I have none, I shall do it better.’

Then turning to some of his friends that were weeping, he desired them rather to rejoice than weep. It may seem a wonder, he could speak so much as he did when he was so weak; but the joy of the Lord strengthened him.

He commended the study of the promises to believers, and desired that they would be sure to make good their claim to them, and then they might come to the wells of consolation and drink thereof their fill.

According to his desire most of the time that was spent with him, was spent in praise; and he would be still calling out,more praise still. ‘O help me to praise him; I have now nothing else to do; I have done with prayer and all other ordinances; Ihave almost done conversing with mortals. I shall presently be beholding Christ himself, that died for me, and loved me, and washed me in his blood.

‘I shall, before a few hours are over, be in eternity, singing the song ofMoses, and of theLamb. I shall presently stand upon mountZion, with an innumerable company of angels, and the spirits of the just made perfect, and Jesus the mediator of the new covenant. I shall hear the voice of much people, and be one amongst them, which shall say, hallelujah, salvation, glory, honour, and power unto the Lord our God; and again, we shall say, hallelujah. Yet a very little while, and I shall sing unto theLamb, saying, worthy, art thou to receive praise who wert slain, and hast redeemed us to God by thy blood, out of every kindred, and tongue, and people, and nation, and hast made us unto our God, kings, and priests, and we shall reign with thee for ever and ever.

‘Methinks, I stand, as it were, with one foot in heaven, and the other upon earth. Methinks I hear the melody of heaven, and see the angels waiting to carry my soul to the bosom of Jesus, I shall be for ever with the Lord in glory. And who can chuse but rejoice in all this?’

The day before his death, he looked earnestly on his brotherJames, who stood by him verysad; of whom he judged, that he was putting up some ejaculation to God upon his account:I thank thee, my dear brother, for thy love, said he,thou art now praying for me; and I know thou hast loved me dearly: but Christ loved me ten thousand times more than thou dost; come and kiss me dear brother, before I die. And so with his cold, dying lips he kissed him, and said,I shall go before, and I hope thou shalt follow after to glory.

Though he was almost always praising God, and exhorting them that were about him to mind their everlasting concerns, and though he slept but very little for some nights, yet he was not in the least impaired in his intellectuals, but his actions were all decent and becoming, and his discourse rational, solid, divine. And so he continued to the last minute.

A few hours before his death he called all his relations together, that he might give them one solemn warning more; and bless them, and pray for them as his breath and strength would give him leave: which he did with abundance of authority, affection and spirituality.

First, he thanked his dear mother for her tender love to him, and desired that she might be in travail to see Christ formed in the souls of the rest of her children, and might see of the travail of her soul, and meet them with joy in that great day.

Thenhe charged all his brethren and sisters as they would answer it before God, to carry it dutiful to their dear mother. And for his eldest brotherWilliam(at whose house he lay sick) his prayer was that he might be swallowed up of Christ and love to souls; and be more and more exemplary in his life and successful in his ministry.

His next brother’s name wasAndrew, a citizen ofLondon, who was with him sometimes; but (his necessary business calling him away) he could not then be by. Yet he was not forgot, but he was thus blessed,The God of heaven remember my poor brother atLondon;the Lord make him truly rich in giving him the pearl of great price, and make him a fellow citizen with the saints, and of the houshold of God; the Lord deliver him from the sins of that city; may the world be kept out of his heart. Oh that he may be as his name is, a strong man, and that I may meet him with you.

Thenhe called his next brother whose name wasJames(whom God had made him a spiritual father to) and saidbrotherJames,I hope the Lord hath given thee a goodly heritage; the lines are fallen to thee in pleasant places: the Lord is thy portion. Ihope the Lord hath shewed thee the worth of Christ. Hold on, dear brother; Christ, heaven and glory, are worth striving for; the Lord give thee more abundance of his grace.

Thenhis next brotherAbrahamwas called, to whom he spake to this purpose,the blessing of the God ofAbrahamrest upon thee, the Lord make thee a father of many spiritual children.

Hisfifthbrother wasJoseph, whom he blessed in this manner;Let him bless thee, OhJoseph,that blessed him that was separated from his brethren. O that his everlasting arms may take hold on thee! It is enough, if yet thou mayest live in his sight. My heart hath been working toward thee poorJoseph;and I am not without hopes, that the arms of the Almighty will embrace thee. The God of thy father bless thee with the blessing of heaven above.

The nextwas his sister Mary, to whom he spoke thus,poor sisterMary,thy body is weak and thy days will♦be filled with bitterness; thy name isMarah;the Lord sweeten all with his grace and peace, and give thee health in thy soul. Be patient, make sure of Christ, and all is well.

♦“he” replaced with “be”

Thenhis other sister whose name wasSarahwas called; whom he thus blessed,SisterSarah,thy body is strong and healthful: Oh that thy soul may be so too! The Lord make thee first a wise virgin, and then a mother inIsrael;a pattern of modesty, humility, and holiness.

Thenanother brother,Jacobwas called, whom he blessed after this manner;The Lord make thee an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no guile! Oh that thou mayest learn to wrestle with God,and like a prince mayest prevail, and not go without a blessing.

Then he prayed for his youngest brotherBenjamin, who was then but an infant;Poor littleBenjamin,O that the Father of the fatherless, would take care of the poor child, that thou, which never sawest thy father upon earth, mayest see him with joy in heaven; The Lord be thy Father, and portion: mayest thou prove the son of thy mother’s right hand, and the joy of her age.

‘O that none of us all may be found amongst the unconverted in the day of judgment! Oh that every one of us may appear (with our honoured father and dear mother) before Christ with joy, that they may say, Lord, here are we, and the children which thou hast given us. Oh that we may live to God here, and live with him hereafter.’

“And now my dear mother, brethren and sisters, farewell; I leave you for awhile and I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them that are sanctified.”

“And now dear Lord, my work is done. I have finished my course, I have fought the good fight; and henceforth there remaineth for me a crown of righteousness! Now come, dear Lord Jesus, come quickly.”

Then the minister came to give him his last visit, and to do the office of an inferior angel, tohelp to convey his blessed soul to glory. When the minister spake to him, his heart was in a flame of love, and joy, which drew tears of joy from him, to hear a man just dying, talk as♦if he came from the immediate presence of God. One might have readgraceandgloryin his countenance. Oh the praise, the triumphant praises that he put up! And every one must speak praise about him, or else they made a jar in his harmony.

♦“of” replaced with “if” per Errata

And indeed most did, as well as they could, help him in praise. So that I never heard, or knew more praise given to God in one room, than in his chamber.

A little before he died, in the prayer or rather praises, he was so wrapped up with admiration and joy, that he could scarce forbear shouting for joy. In the conclusion of the duty, with abundance of faith and fervency, he said aloud,Amen, Amen.

And now his desires shall soon be satisfied; death comes apace to do his office; his jaws are loosened more and more, his hands and feet are cold as clay, and a cold sweat is upon him: but, oh how glad was he when he felt his spirit just a going! never was death more welcome to any mortal. Though the pangs of death were strong, yet that far more exceeding weight of glory, made him endure bitter pains with much patience and courage. In the extremity of his pains, he desired his eldest brother to take awayone pillow from him that he might die with more ease: His brother replied, that he durst not for a world, do any thing that might hasten his death a moment. Then he was well satisfied, and sweetly resigned himself up wholly to God’s disposal: and after a few minutes, he gave himself a little turn on one side, and departed to the Lord.

Oh that all the relations which thou hast left behind thee, may live thy life, and die thy death, and live with Christ and thee, for ever and ever.Amen, Amen.

He died June, 1657, aged 23–24, and was buried in Kelshall Church in Hertfordshire.

AnEXTRACTof theLIFE AND DEATH OFMr.THOMAS HALIBURTON.ThePREFACE.1. “THEkingdom ofGod,” saith our blessedLord, “is within you.” It is no outward, no distant thing: “but a well of living water” in the soul, “springing up into everlasting life.” It is “righteousness and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.” It is holiness and happiness.2.The general manner wherein it pleasesGodto set it up in the heart is this. A sinner, being drawn by the love of the Father, enlightened by the Son (“the true light which lighteth every man that cometh into the world”) and convinced of sin by the Holy Ghost; through the preventing grace which is given him freely, cometh weary and heavy laden, and casteth all his sins upon him that is “mighty to save.” He receiveth from him, true living faith.Being justified by faith he hath peace withGod: he rejoices in hope of the glory ofGod, and knows that sin hath no more dominion over him. And the love ofGodis shed abroad in his heart, producing all holiness of heart and of conversation.3.This work ofGodin the soul of man is so described in the following treatise, as I have not seen it in any other, either antient or modern, in our own or any other language. So that I cannot but value it next to the holy scriptures, above any other human composition, excepting only theChristian pattern, and the small remains ofClemens Romanus, Polycarp, andIgnatius.4.Yet this great servant ofGodat some times fell back from the glorious liberty he had received, into the spirit of fear and sin and bondage. But why was it thus? Because the hand of theLordwas shortened? No verily: but because he did not abide inChrist; because he did not cleave to him with all his heart: because he grieved the holy Spirit, by some, perhaps undiscerned, unfaithfulness; who thereupon for a season departing from him, left him weak and like another man.5.But it may be said, “The gospel covenant does not promise entire freedom from sin.” What do you mean by the word sin? Those numberless weaknesses and follies, sometimes (improperly) termed sins of infirmity? If you mean only this, we shall not put off these but with our bodies. But if you mean, “It does not promise entire freedom from sin, in its proper sense, or from committing sin:” this isby no means true, unless the scripture be false: for thus it is written: “whosoever is born ofGoddoth not commit sin:” (unless he lose the spirit of adoption, if not finally, yet for awhile, as did this child of God) “for his seed remaineth in him, and he cannot sin, because he is born ofGod.” He cannot sin so long as “he keepeth himself;” for then “that wicked one toucheth him not.”1 Johniii.9, 5, 18.6.We see then how to judge of that other assertion, “That the mercy ofGodto his sons inChrist Jesus, extends to all infirmities, follies and sins, multiplied relapses not excepted.” We grant many of the children ofGodfind mercy, notwithstanding multiplied relapses. But tho’ it is possible a man may be a child ofGod, who is not fully freed from sin, it does not follow that freedom from sin is impossible; or, that it is not to be expected by all; for it is promised. It is described by the Holy Ghost as the common privilege of all. And “Godwill be mindful (O let us be so!) of his covenant and promise, which he hath made to a thousand generations.”7.This caution is necessary to be remembered, that ye who are weak be not offended. Neither be ye offended, when ye hear the wisdom of the world pronounce all this, mere enthusiasm: a hard word, which most of those who are fondest of it, no more understand♦than they do Arabic. Ask, in the spirit of meekness, him who calls it so, “Is the kingdom ofGodset up inyoursoul? Doyoufeel that peace ofGodwhich passeth all understanding? Doyourejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory? Is the love ofGodshed abroad inyourheart, by the Holy Ghost which dwelleth inyou?” If not, you are no judge of these matters. You cannot discern the things of the spirit ofGod. They are enthusiasm, madness, foolishness to you: for they are spiritually discerned.♦duplicate word “than” removed8.Ask such a one (but with meekness and love) “Areyoutaught ofGod? Do you know that he abideth in you? Have you the revelation of the Holy Ghost (they are the words of your own church) inspiring into you the true meaning of scripture?” If you have not, with all your human science and worldly wisdom, you know nothing yet as you ought to know. Whatever you are in other respects, as to the things ofGod, you are an unlearned and ignorant man. And if you are unstable too, you will wrest these, as you do also the other scriptures, to your own destruction.9.Be not then surprized, ye that wait for peace, and joy, and love, thro’ faith in the blood ofJesus, that such judges, as these are continually crying out “Enthusiasm!” if you speak of the inward operations of the Holy Ghost. And as to you who have already peace withGod, thro’ ourLord Jesus Christ, who now feel his love shed abroad in your hearts, by the Holy Ghost which is given unto you; with whose spirit the spirit ofGodbeareth witness, that ye are the sons ofGod; it is your part to confirm your love toward them in all lowliness and meekness:(for who is it that maketh thee to differ? Or what hast thou, which thou hast not received?) And to plead earnestly for them at the throne of grace, that the day-star may appear in their hearts also, and the sun of righteousness at length arise upon them, with healing in his wings!London,February 9, 1738–9.JOHN WESLEY.

1. “THEkingdom ofGod,” saith our blessedLord, “is within you.” It is no outward, no distant thing: “but a well of living water” in the soul, “springing up into everlasting life.” It is “righteousness and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.” It is holiness and happiness.

2.The general manner wherein it pleasesGodto set it up in the heart is this. A sinner, being drawn by the love of the Father, enlightened by the Son (“the true light which lighteth every man that cometh into the world”) and convinced of sin by the Holy Ghost; through the preventing grace which is given him freely, cometh weary and heavy laden, and casteth all his sins upon him that is “mighty to save.” He receiveth from him, true living faith.Being justified by faith he hath peace withGod: he rejoices in hope of the glory ofGod, and knows that sin hath no more dominion over him. And the love ofGodis shed abroad in his heart, producing all holiness of heart and of conversation.

3.This work ofGodin the soul of man is so described in the following treatise, as I have not seen it in any other, either antient or modern, in our own or any other language. So that I cannot but value it next to the holy scriptures, above any other human composition, excepting only theChristian pattern, and the small remains ofClemens Romanus, Polycarp, andIgnatius.

4.Yet this great servant ofGodat some times fell back from the glorious liberty he had received, into the spirit of fear and sin and bondage. But why was it thus? Because the hand of theLordwas shortened? No verily: but because he did not abide inChrist; because he did not cleave to him with all his heart: because he grieved the holy Spirit, by some, perhaps undiscerned, unfaithfulness; who thereupon for a season departing from him, left him weak and like another man.

5.But it may be said, “The gospel covenant does not promise entire freedom from sin.” What do you mean by the word sin? Those numberless weaknesses and follies, sometimes (improperly) termed sins of infirmity? If you mean only this, we shall not put off these but with our bodies. But if you mean, “It does not promise entire freedom from sin, in its proper sense, or from committing sin:” this isby no means true, unless the scripture be false: for thus it is written: “whosoever is born ofGoddoth not commit sin:” (unless he lose the spirit of adoption, if not finally, yet for awhile, as did this child of God) “for his seed remaineth in him, and he cannot sin, because he is born ofGod.” He cannot sin so long as “he keepeth himself;” for then “that wicked one toucheth him not.”1 Johniii.9, 5, 18.

6.We see then how to judge of that other assertion, “That the mercy ofGodto his sons inChrist Jesus, extends to all infirmities, follies and sins, multiplied relapses not excepted.” We grant many of the children ofGodfind mercy, notwithstanding multiplied relapses. But tho’ it is possible a man may be a child ofGod, who is not fully freed from sin, it does not follow that freedom from sin is impossible; or, that it is not to be expected by all; for it is promised. It is described by the Holy Ghost as the common privilege of all. And “Godwill be mindful (O let us be so!) of his covenant and promise, which he hath made to a thousand generations.”

7.This caution is necessary to be remembered, that ye who are weak be not offended. Neither be ye offended, when ye hear the wisdom of the world pronounce all this, mere enthusiasm: a hard word, which most of those who are fondest of it, no more understand♦than they do Arabic. Ask, in the spirit of meekness, him who calls it so, “Is the kingdom ofGodset up inyoursoul? Doyoufeel that peace ofGodwhich passeth all understanding? Doyourejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory? Is the love ofGodshed abroad inyourheart, by the Holy Ghost which dwelleth inyou?” If not, you are no judge of these matters. You cannot discern the things of the spirit ofGod. They are enthusiasm, madness, foolishness to you: for they are spiritually discerned.

♦duplicate word “than” removed

8.Ask such a one (but with meekness and love) “Areyoutaught ofGod? Do you know that he abideth in you? Have you the revelation of the Holy Ghost (they are the words of your own church) inspiring into you the true meaning of scripture?” If you have not, with all your human science and worldly wisdom, you know nothing yet as you ought to know. Whatever you are in other respects, as to the things ofGod, you are an unlearned and ignorant man. And if you are unstable too, you will wrest these, as you do also the other scriptures, to your own destruction.

9.Be not then surprized, ye that wait for peace, and joy, and love, thro’ faith in the blood ofJesus, that such judges, as these are continually crying out “Enthusiasm!” if you speak of the inward operations of the Holy Ghost. And as to you who have already peace withGod, thro’ ourLord Jesus Christ, who now feel his love shed abroad in your hearts, by the Holy Ghost which is given unto you; with whose spirit the spirit ofGodbeareth witness, that ye are the sons ofGod; it is your part to confirm your love toward them in all lowliness and meekness:(for who is it that maketh thee to differ? Or what hast thou, which thou hast not received?) And to plead earnestly for them at the throne of grace, that the day-star may appear in their hearts also, and the sun of righteousness at length arise upon them, with healing in his wings!

London,February 9, 1738–9.

JOHN WESLEY.

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