January First

Be to her virtues very kind;Be to her faults a little blind.—Prior.

Be to her virtues very kind;Be to her faults a little blind.

Be to her virtues very kind;

Be to her faults a little blind.

—Prior.

January FirstWidows, like ripe fruit, drop easily from their perch.—Bruyere.January SecondWedlock’s like wine,—not properly judged of till the second glass.—Douglas Jerrold.January ThirdThe Spaniards have it that a buxom widow must be either married, buried, or shut up in a convent.—Haliburton.January FourthFrailty, thy name is woman! a little month, or ere those shoes were old with which she followed my poor father’s body, like Niobe, all tears:—why she, even she, married with my uncle.—Shakespeare.

Widows, like ripe fruit, drop easily from their perch.

—Bruyere.

Wedlock’s like wine,—not properly judged of till the second glass.

—Douglas Jerrold.

The Spaniards have it that a buxom widow must be either married, buried, or shut up in a convent.

—Haliburton.

Frailty, thy name is woman! a little month, or ere those shoes were old with which she followed my poor father’s body, like Niobe, all tears:—why she, even she, married with my uncle.

—Shakespeare.

January FifthTo marry once is a duty, twice a folly, thrice is madness.—Dutch Proverb.January SixthMrs. President has disposed of six husbands and is to take a seventh: being of the opinion that there is as much virtue in the touch of a seventh husband as of a seventh son.—Addison.January SeventhI praise th’ saints I niver was married, though I had opportunities enough when I was a young man, an’ even now I have to wear me hat low whin I go down be Cologne Street, on account iv the widow Grogan.—Mr. Dooley.January EighthTush! herself knows not what she shall do when she is transformed into a widow.—Chapman.

To marry once is a duty, twice a folly, thrice is madness.

—Dutch Proverb.

Mrs. President has disposed of six husbands and is to take a seventh: being of the opinion that there is as much virtue in the touch of a seventh husband as of a seventh son.

—Addison.

I praise th’ saints I niver was married, though I had opportunities enough when I was a young man, an’ even now I have to wear me hat low whin I go down be Cologne Street, on account iv the widow Grogan.

—Mr. Dooley.

Tush! herself knows not what she shall do when she is transformed into a widow.

—Chapman.

January NinthWidows are such a subtle generation of people they may be left to their own conduct; if they make a false step, they are answerable for it to nobody but themselves.—Addison.January TenthI have seen a widow that just before was seen pleasant enough, follow an empty hearse and weep devoutly.—Chapman.January EleventhI’ faith, he’ll have a lusty widow now,That shall be wooed and wedded in a day.—Shakespeare.January TwelfthHere’s a small trifle of wives: alas,—eleven widows and nine maids, is a simple coming in for one man.—Shakespeare.

Widows are such a subtle generation of people they may be left to their own conduct; if they make a false step, they are answerable for it to nobody but themselves.

—Addison.

I have seen a widow that just before was seen pleasant enough, follow an empty hearse and weep devoutly.

—Chapman.

I’ faith, he’ll have a lusty widow now,That shall be wooed and wedded in a day.—Shakespeare.

I’ faith, he’ll have a lusty widow now,That shall be wooed and wedded in a day.

I’ faith, he’ll have a lusty widow now,

That shall be wooed and wedded in a day.

—Shakespeare.

Here’s a small trifle of wives: alas,—eleven widows and nine maids, is a simple coming in for one man.

—Shakespeare.

January ThirteenthIf for widows you die,Learn to kiss, not to sigh.—Charles Lever.January FourteenthThe widow Quick married within a fortnight after the death of her last husband. Her weeds have served her twice and are still as good as new.—Addison.January FifteenthShe was clever, witty, brilliant, and sparkling; but possessed of many devils of malice and mischievousness; she could be nice, though, even to her own sex.—Kipling.January SixteenthA rogue met a pretty young Mrs.,A widow, and stole a few Krs.,And the lady, though she was astounded,Said she’d waive prosecution,If he’d make restitution,So the felony soon was compounded.—Philadelphia Press.

If for widows you die,Learn to kiss, not to sigh.—Charles Lever.

If for widows you die,Learn to kiss, not to sigh.

If for widows you die,

Learn to kiss, not to sigh.

—Charles Lever.

The widow Quick married within a fortnight after the death of her last husband. Her weeds have served her twice and are still as good as new.

—Addison.

She was clever, witty, brilliant, and sparkling; but possessed of many devils of malice and mischievousness; she could be nice, though, even to her own sex.

—Kipling.

A rogue met a pretty young Mrs.,A widow, and stole a few Krs.,And the lady, though she was astounded,Said she’d waive prosecution,If he’d make restitution,So the felony soon was compounded.—Philadelphia Press.

A rogue met a pretty young Mrs.,A widow, and stole a few Krs.,And the lady, though she was astounded,Said she’d waive prosecution,If he’d make restitution,So the felony soon was compounded.

A rogue met a pretty young Mrs.,

A widow, and stole a few Krs.,

And the lady, though she was astounded,

Said she’d waive prosecution,

If he’d make restitution,

So the felony soon was compounded.

—Philadelphia Press.

January Seventeenth“Yes, he’s going to marry that rich widow. His debts were looming up dreadfully, and—”“I see. His marriage will be the finished product of the loom.”—San Francisco News Letter.January Eighteenth“Dear Joseph is dead. Loss fully covered by insurance.”—(Telegram) Tit Bits.January Nineteenth“Why for your spouse this pompous fuss?Was he not all his life your curse?”“True, but at length one single actionMade up for each past malefaction.”“Indeed! what was the action, pray?”“Why, sir, it was,—he died one day.”—Exchange.January TwentiethTake my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.—Kipling.

“Yes, he’s going to marry that rich widow. His debts were looming up dreadfully, and—”

“I see. His marriage will be the finished product of the loom.”

—San Francisco News Letter.

“Dear Joseph is dead. Loss fully covered by insurance.”

—(Telegram) Tit Bits.

“Why for your spouse this pompous fuss?Was he not all his life your curse?”“True, but at length one single actionMade up for each past malefaction.”“Indeed! what was the action, pray?”“Why, sir, it was,—he died one day.”—Exchange.

“Why for your spouse this pompous fuss?Was he not all his life your curse?”

“Why for your spouse this pompous fuss?

Was he not all his life your curse?”

“True, but at length one single actionMade up for each past malefaction.”

“True, but at length one single action

Made up for each past malefaction.”

“Indeed! what was the action, pray?”“Why, sir, it was,—he died one day.”

“Indeed! what was the action, pray?”

“Why, sir, it was,—he died one day.”

—Exchange.

Take my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.

—Kipling.

January Twenty-firstBut if the priest’s daughter be a widow, or divorced, and have no child, and is returned unto her father’s house, as in her youth, she shall eat of her father’s meat.—Bible.January Twenty-secondBut every vow of a widow and of her that is divorced shall stand against her.—Numbers xx:11.January Twenty-thirdLe Fiance. “Why have you not introduced me to your mother, darling?”La Fiancee. “Gerald, my mother is a widow, and I have lost two fiances to widows already.”—Life.January Twenty-fourthWith all the experience of married life she has the sense of perfect freedom and irresponsibility; consequently her flights in flirtation are as daring as they are without fear or reproach.—Malcolm C. Salomon.

But if the priest’s daughter be a widow, or divorced, and have no child, and is returned unto her father’s house, as in her youth, she shall eat of her father’s meat.

—Bible.

But every vow of a widow and of her that is divorced shall stand against her.

—Numbers xx:11.

Le Fiance. “Why have you not introduced me to your mother, darling?”

La Fiancee. “Gerald, my mother is a widow, and I have lost two fiances to widows already.”

—Life.

With all the experience of married life she has the sense of perfect freedom and irresponsibility; consequently her flights in flirtation are as daring as they are without fear or reproach.

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

January Twenty-fifth“So DeWolff Hopper is divorced and married again?”“Yes.”“Well, now I suppose the question is, is his former wife a grass widow or a grass Hopper?”—Life.January Twenty-sixth’Tis safest in matrimony to begin with a little aversion.—Sheridan.January Twenty-seventhIt sometimes happens that when a man fails in doing anything else well, he marries well.—Atchison Globe.January Twenty-eighthWhatever Rome may strive to fix,The sacraments are only six;For surely of the seven, ’tis clearMarriage and penance but one appear.—Proverb.

“So DeWolff Hopper is divorced and married again?”

“Yes.”

“Well, now I suppose the question is, is his former wife a grass widow or a grass Hopper?”

—Life.

’Tis safest in matrimony to begin with a little aversion.

—Sheridan.

It sometimes happens that when a man fails in doing anything else well, he marries well.

—Atchison Globe.

Whatever Rome may strive to fix,The sacraments are only six;For surely of the seven, ’tis clearMarriage and penance but one appear.—Proverb.

Whatever Rome may strive to fix,The sacraments are only six;For surely of the seven, ’tis clearMarriage and penance but one appear.

Whatever Rome may strive to fix,

The sacraments are only six;

For surely of the seven, ’tis clear

Marriage and penance but one appear.

—Proverb.

January Twenty-ninthLady Catherine Swallow was a widow at eighteen, and has since buried a second husband and two coachmen.—Addison.January ThirtiethJerry, dying intestate, his relatives claim’dWhile his widow most vilely his mem’ry defam’d:“That’s no wonder,” says one, “for ’tis very well known,Since he married, poor man, he’d no will of his own!”—Burns.January Thirty-firstThe wives of hen-peck’d husbands most alwus outliv ther victims, and I hev known them to git marrid agin and git hold ov a man that time (thank the Lord!) who understood all the hen-peck dodges.—Josh Billings.

Lady Catherine Swallow was a widow at eighteen, and has since buried a second husband and two coachmen.

—Addison.

Jerry, dying intestate, his relatives claim’dWhile his widow most vilely his mem’ry defam’d:“That’s no wonder,” says one, “for ’tis very well known,Since he married, poor man, he’d no will of his own!”—Burns.

Jerry, dying intestate, his relatives claim’d

While his widow most vilely his mem’ry defam’d:

“That’s no wonder,” says one, “for ’tis very well known,

Since he married, poor man, he’d no will of his own!”

—Burns.

The wives of hen-peck’d husbands most alwus outliv ther victims, and I hev known them to git marrid agin and git hold ov a man that time (thank the Lord!) who understood all the hen-peck dodges.

—Josh Billings.

February FirstHer mourning is all make believe:’Tis plain there’s nothing in it:With weepers she has tipp’d her sleeve,The while she’s laughing in it.—Burns.February SecondThe Lord will destroy the house of the proud: but he will establish the border of the widow.—Proverbs xv:25.February ThirdOne said a rich widow was like the rubbish of the world, that helps only to stop the breaches of decayed houses.—Hazlitt.February FourthOf course not every man who has been pursued by a widow was caught, and there are a number of thrilling, if slightly apochryphal, narratives of daring adventurers who have escaped the clutches of the dangerous creatures at the last minute.—Dorothy Dix.

Her mourning is all make believe:’Tis plain there’s nothing in it:With weepers she has tipp’d her sleeve,The while she’s laughing in it.—Burns.

Her mourning is all make believe:’Tis plain there’s nothing in it:With weepers she has tipp’d her sleeve,The while she’s laughing in it.

Her mourning is all make believe:

’Tis plain there’s nothing in it:

With weepers she has tipp’d her sleeve,

The while she’s laughing in it.

—Burns.

The Lord will destroy the house of the proud: but he will establish the border of the widow.

—Proverbs xv:25.

One said a rich widow was like the rubbish of the world, that helps only to stop the breaches of decayed houses.

—Hazlitt.

Of course not every man who has been pursued by a widow was caught, and there are a number of thrilling, if slightly apochryphal, narratives of daring adventurers who have escaped the clutches of the dangerous creatures at the last minute.

—Dorothy Dix.

February FifthMrs. Pepperday. “My first husband had a great deal more sense than you have.”Mr. Pepperday. “True enough, he died.”—Harper’s Magazine.February Sixth“Take example by your father, my boy, and be wery careful o’ the widders all your life.”—Dickens.February SeventhKeep yourself from the tumult of the mob, from fools in a narrow way, from a man that is marked, and from a widow that has been thrice married.—Proverb.February EighthLawyer. “I can get a divorce without publicity for two hundred and fifty dollars.”Actress. “How much more will it cost with publicity?”—Judge.

Mrs. Pepperday. “My first husband had a great deal more sense than you have.”

Mr. Pepperday. “True enough, he died.”

—Harper’s Magazine.

“Take example by your father, my boy, and be wery careful o’ the widders all your life.”

—Dickens.

Keep yourself from the tumult of the mob, from fools in a narrow way, from a man that is marked, and from a widow that has been thrice married.

—Proverb.

Lawyer. “I can get a divorce without publicity for two hundred and fifty dollars.”

Actress. “How much more will it cost with publicity?”

—Judge.

February NinthA man that marries a widow is bound to give up smoking and chewing. If she gives up her weeds for him he should give up his weed for her.—Louisville Journal.February TenthThere is but one good excuse for a marriage late in life, and that is a second marriage.—Josh Billings.February EleventhFor it is better to marry than to burn.—I Cor. vii:9.February Twelfth“Ven you’re a married man, Samival, you’ll understand a good many things as you don’t understand now: but vether it’s worth while goin’ through so much to learn so little, as the charity boy said ven he got to the end of the alphabet, is a matter o’ taste.”—Dickens.

A man that marries a widow is bound to give up smoking and chewing. If she gives up her weeds for him he should give up his weed for her.

—Louisville Journal.

There is but one good excuse for a marriage late in life, and that is a second marriage.

—Josh Billings.

For it is better to marry than to burn.

—I Cor. vii:9.

“Ven you’re a married man, Samival, you’ll understand a good many things as you don’t understand now: but vether it’s worth while goin’ through so much to learn so little, as the charity boy said ven he got to the end of the alphabet, is a matter o’ taste.”

—Dickens.

February ThirteenthFor as all widows love too well,She liked upon the list to dwell,And oft ripped up the old disasters.—Hood.February FourteenthSir Simon, as snoring he lay in his bed,Was awaked by the cry, “Sir, your lady is dead!”He heard, and returning to slumber, quoth he,“In the morn, when I wake, oh, how grieved I shall be!”February FifteenthThanks, my good friend, for the advice,But marriage is a thing so nice,That he who means to take a wifeHad better think on’t all his life.February SixteenthWhy are those tears, why droops your head?Is then your other husband dead?Or does a worse disgrace betide,Hath no one since his death applied?—Gay.

For as all widows love too well,She liked upon the list to dwell,And oft ripped up the old disasters.—Hood.

For as all widows love too well,She liked upon the list to dwell,And oft ripped up the old disasters.

For as all widows love too well,

She liked upon the list to dwell,

And oft ripped up the old disasters.

—Hood.

Sir Simon, as snoring he lay in his bed,Was awaked by the cry, “Sir, your lady is dead!”He heard, and returning to slumber, quoth he,“In the morn, when I wake, oh, how grieved I shall be!”

Sir Simon, as snoring he lay in his bed,

Was awaked by the cry, “Sir, your lady is dead!”

He heard, and returning to slumber, quoth he,

“In the morn, when I wake, oh, how grieved I shall be!”

Thanks, my good friend, for the advice,But marriage is a thing so nice,That he who means to take a wifeHad better think on’t all his life.

Thanks, my good friend, for the advice,

But marriage is a thing so nice,

That he who means to take a wife

Had better think on’t all his life.

Why are those tears, why droops your head?Is then your other husband dead?Or does a worse disgrace betide,Hath no one since his death applied?—Gay.

Why are those tears, why droops your head?Is then your other husband dead?Or does a worse disgrace betide,Hath no one since his death applied?

Why are those tears, why droops your head?

Is then your other husband dead?

Or does a worse disgrace betide,

Hath no one since his death applied?

—Gay.

A rich widow is the only kind of second-hand goods that will always sell at prime cost.—Franklin.

A rich widow is the only kind of second-hand goods that will always sell at prime cost.

—Franklin.

February SeventeenthIt pleased the Lord to take my spouse at last.I tore my hair, I soil’d my locks with dust,And beat my breasts—as wretched widows must:Before my face my handkerchief I spread,To hide the flood of tears I did—not shed.—Pope.February EighteenthShe. “I think I should like a widower after all.”He. “Very well; whom shall I marry first?”—Life.February NineteenthMay widows wed as often as they can,And ever for the better change their man;And some devouring plague pursue their lives,Who will not well be governed by their wives.—Dryden.

It pleased the Lord to take my spouse at last.I tore my hair, I soil’d my locks with dust,And beat my breasts—as wretched widows must:Before my face my handkerchief I spread,To hide the flood of tears I did—not shed.—Pope.

It pleased the Lord to take my spouse at last.

I tore my hair, I soil’d my locks with dust,

And beat my breasts—as wretched widows must:

Before my face my handkerchief I spread,

To hide the flood of tears I did—not shed.

—Pope.

She. “I think I should like a widower after all.”

He. “Very well; whom shall I marry first?”

—Life.

May widows wed as often as they can,And ever for the better change their man;And some devouring plague pursue their lives,Who will not well be governed by their wives.—Dryden.

May widows wed as often as they can,And ever for the better change their man;And some devouring plague pursue their lives,Who will not well be governed by their wives.

May widows wed as often as they can,

And ever for the better change their man;

And some devouring plague pursue their lives,

Who will not well be governed by their wives.

—Dryden.

February TwentiethWhilst Adam slept, Eve from his side arose:Strange! his first sleep should be his last repose!—Anonymous.February Twenty-firstA widow is more sought after than an old maid of the same age.—Addison.February Twenty-secondThe widow is indigenous to all climes and wherever found is a source of aggravation to women and of danger to men.—Dorothy Dix.

Whilst Adam slept, Eve from his side arose:Strange! his first sleep should be his last repose!—Anonymous.

Whilst Adam slept, Eve from his side arose:Strange! his first sleep should be his last repose!

Whilst Adam slept, Eve from his side arose:

Strange! his first sleep should be his last repose!

—Anonymous.

A widow is more sought after than an old maid of the same age.

—Addison.

The widow is indigenous to all climes and wherever found is a source of aggravation to women and of danger to men.

—Dorothy Dix.

February Twenty-thirdWidows are indeed the great game of your fortune hunters.—Addison.February Twenty-fourth“Some day I’m goin’ to let me temper r-run away with me, and get a comity together, and go out an’ hang ivry dam widdy and orphan between the rollin’ mills an’ th’ foundlin’s home. If it wasn’t for thim raypachious crathers, they’d be no boodle annywheres.”—Mr. Dooley.February Twenty-fifthThe widow Cross, I should have told,Had seen three husbands to the mould:The dear, departed Mr. Cross,Came in for nothing but his thirds.—Hood.

Widows are indeed the great game of your fortune hunters.

—Addison.

“Some day I’m goin’ to let me temper r-run away with me, and get a comity together, and go out an’ hang ivry dam widdy and orphan between the rollin’ mills an’ th’ foundlin’s home. If it wasn’t for thim raypachious crathers, they’d be no boodle annywheres.”

—Mr. Dooley.

The widow Cross, I should have told,Had seen three husbands to the mould:The dear, departed Mr. Cross,Came in for nothing but his thirds.—Hood.

The widow Cross, I should have told,Had seen three husbands to the mould:The dear, departed Mr. Cross,Came in for nothing but his thirds.

The widow Cross, I should have told,

Had seen three husbands to the mould:

The dear, departed Mr. Cross,

Came in for nothing but his thirds.

—Hood.

February Twenty-sixth“She knows how to look out for number one.”“That is quite evident from the way she is looking out for number two.”—Smart Set.February Twenty-seventhSum marry the second time to get even and find it a gambling game: the more they put down the less they take up.—Josh Billings.February Twenty-eighthThe wife is bound by the law as long as the husband liveth.—I Cor. vii:39.February Twenty-ninthRemove thy way far from her and come not nigh the door of her house.—Proverbs.

“She knows how to look out for number one.”

“That is quite evident from the way she is looking out for number two.”

—Smart Set.

Sum marry the second time to get even and find it a gambling game: the more they put down the less they take up.

—Josh Billings.

The wife is bound by the law as long as the husband liveth.

—I Cor. vii:39.

Remove thy way far from her and come not nigh the door of her house.

—Proverbs.

March FirstWoo the widow while she is in weeds.—Proverb.March SecondIndeed, we were once in great hopes of his recovery, upon a kind message that was sent him from the widow lady whom he had made love to the last forty years of his life: but this only proved a lightning before death.—Addison.March ThirdOne widow at a grave will sobA little while and weep and sigh!If two should meet on such a job,They’ll have a gossip bye and bye.—Hood.March Fourth“You are a marrid man, Mr. Young, I believe?” sed I.“I hev eighty wives, Mr. Ward. I certainly am marrid.”—Artemus Ward.

Woo the widow while she is in weeds.

—Proverb.

Indeed, we were once in great hopes of his recovery, upon a kind message that was sent him from the widow lady whom he had made love to the last forty years of his life: but this only proved a lightning before death.

—Addison.

One widow at a grave will sobA little while and weep and sigh!If two should meet on such a job,They’ll have a gossip bye and bye.—Hood.

One widow at a grave will sobA little while and weep and sigh!If two should meet on such a job,They’ll have a gossip bye and bye.

One widow at a grave will sob

A little while and weep and sigh!

If two should meet on such a job,

They’ll have a gossip bye and bye.

—Hood.

“You are a marrid man, Mr. Young, I believe?” sed I.

“I hev eighty wives, Mr. Ward. I certainly am marrid.”

—Artemus Ward.

March Fifth’Tis dangerous marrying a widow because she has cast her rider.—Spanish Proverb.March Sixth“Ihaveheerd how many ord’nary women one widder’s equal to, in pint of comin’ over you. I think it’s five-and-twenty, but I don’t rightly know whether it an’t more.”—Dickens.March Seventh“As for the widders, anny healthy widdy with street car stock ought to be ashamed of hersilf if she’s a widdy long.”—Mr. Dooley.March EighthThat is why little widows are so dangerous: they not only know their own sex, but they know ours, too, and knowledge is power.—Malcolm C. Salomon.

’Tis dangerous marrying a widow because she has cast her rider.

—Spanish Proverb.

“Ihaveheerd how many ord’nary women one widder’s equal to, in pint of comin’ over you. I think it’s five-and-twenty, but I don’t rightly know whether it an’t more.”

—Dickens.

“As for the widders, anny healthy widdy with street car stock ought to be ashamed of hersilf if she’s a widdy long.”

—Mr. Dooley.

That is why little widows are so dangerous: they not only know their own sex, but they know ours, too, and knowledge is power.

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

March NinthThe basis of the contemporary matrimonial decline, as most writers interpret it, is man. Man cannot very well be left out of marriage altogether without defeating some of its more important ends and impairing its results.—Edward Stanton Martin.March TenthEasy or frivolous divorce is condemned and deplored, but the easily divorced are not excluded from the politest society.—Edward Stanton Martin.March EleventhOnions can make heirs and widows weep.—Proverb.March TwelfthHe who marries a widow will often have a dead man’s head thrown in his dish.—Proverb.

The basis of the contemporary matrimonial decline, as most writers interpret it, is man. Man cannot very well be left out of marriage altogether without defeating some of its more important ends and impairing its results.

—Edward Stanton Martin.

Easy or frivolous divorce is condemned and deplored, but the easily divorced are not excluded from the politest society.

—Edward Stanton Martin.

Onions can make heirs and widows weep.

—Proverb.

He who marries a widow will often have a dead man’s head thrown in his dish.

—Proverb.

March ThirteenthDivorce, with all its privileges and possibilities, must continue to be a second-rate bliss by no means comparable to true marriage.—Edward Stanton Martin.March Fourteenth“Mind that no widder gets a inklin’ of your fortun, or you’re done.”—Dickens.March FifteenthMrs. Biffery Biff. “You should be happy. You have such a kind husband.”Mrs. Quittem. “Yes; we are getting along splendidly, since we don’t live together.”—San Francisco Examiner.March SixteenthA good occasion for courtship is when a widow returns from the funeral.—Proverb.

Divorce, with all its privileges and possibilities, must continue to be a second-rate bliss by no means comparable to true marriage.

—Edward Stanton Martin.

“Mind that no widder gets a inklin’ of your fortun, or you’re done.”

—Dickens.

Mrs. Biffery Biff. “You should be happy. You have such a kind husband.”

Mrs. Quittem. “Yes; we are getting along splendidly, since we don’t live together.”

—San Francisco Examiner.

A good occasion for courtship is when a widow returns from the funeral.

—Proverb.

March SeventeenthSecond marriages receive much less universal consideration because comparatively few persons find themselves in a position where they have to reach a decision as to their expediency.—Edward Stanton Martin.March EighteenthShe was a little widow and was consequently a complete compendium of the art of love.—Malcolm C. Salomon.March NineteenthShe was a good lookin’ woman and had seen trouble. It stands to reason she had, with four husbands. Good land!—Josiah Allen’s Wife.March TwentiethWooers and widows are never poor.—Ralph Roister Doister (1566).

Second marriages receive much less universal consideration because comparatively few persons find themselves in a position where they have to reach a decision as to their expediency.

—Edward Stanton Martin.

She was a little widow and was consequently a complete compendium of the art of love.

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

She was a good lookin’ woman and had seen trouble. It stands to reason she had, with four husbands. Good land!

—Josiah Allen’s Wife.

Wooers and widows are never poor.

—Ralph Roister Doister (1566).

March Twenty-firstDo, but dally not: that’s the widow’s phrase.—Barry.March Twenty-second“You know what counsel said, Sammy, as defended the gen’lem’n as beat his wife, with the poker, venever he got jolly: ‘And arter all, my Lord,’ says he, ‘it’s a amiable weakness.’ So I says respectin’ widders.”—Dickens.March Twenty-thirdOf course I wanted to marry the widow because she declared she would never marry again.—Malcolm C. Salomon.March Twenty-fourthThe multi-widow. “A woman seldom finds that her husband is the same man she married.”—Brooklyn Eagle.

Do, but dally not: that’s the widow’s phrase.

—Barry.

“You know what counsel said, Sammy, as defended the gen’lem’n as beat his wife, with the poker, venever he got jolly: ‘And arter all, my Lord,’ says he, ‘it’s a amiable weakness.’ So I says respectin’ widders.”

—Dickens.

Of course I wanted to marry the widow because she declared she would never marry again.

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

The multi-widow. “A woman seldom finds that her husband is the same man she married.”

—Brooklyn Eagle.

March Twenty-fifthWhy, if I had had two husbands, or even four, I should want to keep ’em apart sittin’ up in high chairs on different sides of my heart.—Josiah Allen’s Wife.March Twenty-sixthDisagreeable suspicions are usually the fruits of a second marriage.—Racine.March Twenty-seventh“Have you made your will?” asked the lawyer of the old colored citizen.“No, suh. I ain’ got nothin’ to leave ’cept one wife and de rheumatism.”—Atlanta Constitution.March Twenty-eighthIt is only a widow who is wise enough to know that a jolly laugh in a woman is a bait to which a man will invariably rise as a trout to a fly.—Dorothy Dix.

Why, if I had had two husbands, or even four, I should want to keep ’em apart sittin’ up in high chairs on different sides of my heart.

—Josiah Allen’s Wife.

Disagreeable suspicions are usually the fruits of a second marriage.

—Racine.

“Have you made your will?” asked the lawyer of the old colored citizen.

“No, suh. I ain’ got nothin’ to leave ’cept one wife and de rheumatism.”

—Atlanta Constitution.

It is only a widow who is wise enough to know that a jolly laugh in a woman is a bait to which a man will invariably rise as a trout to a fly.

—Dorothy Dix.

March Twenty-ninthGet a wife who has learned how to keep house on your predecessor, and is in no danger of giving you dyspepsia while she experiments with cooking school recipes.—Dorothy Dix.March Thirtieth“So they were divorced for incompatibility of temper?”“Yes; you see he had the incompatibility and she had the temper.”—Judge.March Thirty-firstThe shameless Chloe placed on the tombs of her seven husbands the inscription, “The work of Chloe.”—Martial.

Get a wife who has learned how to keep house on your predecessor, and is in no danger of giving you dyspepsia while she experiments with cooking school recipes.

—Dorothy Dix.

“So they were divorced for incompatibility of temper?”

“Yes; you see he had the incompatibility and she had the temper.”

—Judge.

The shameless Chloe placed on the tombs of her seven husbands the inscription, “The work of Chloe.”

—Martial.

April FirstFew persons turn grey because their husbands die.—Proverb.April SecondHe that’s married once may be pardoned his infirmity;He that marries twice is mad;But if you can find a foolMarrying thrice, don’t spare the lad,Flog him, flog him back to school.—Garrick.April ThirdOh! a maid is sometimes charming, but a widow all the while.—Anonymous.April FourthDisguise our bondage as we will,’Tis woman, woman rules us still.—Moore.

Few persons turn grey because their husbands die.

—Proverb.

He that’s married once may be pardoned his infirmity;He that marries twice is mad;But if you can find a foolMarrying thrice, don’t spare the lad,Flog him, flog him back to school.—Garrick.

He that’s married once may be pardoned his infirmity;He that marries twice is mad;But if you can find a foolMarrying thrice, don’t spare the lad,Flog him, flog him back to school.

He that’s married once may be pardoned his infirmity;

He that marries twice is mad;

But if you can find a fool

Marrying thrice, don’t spare the lad,

Flog him, flog him back to school.

—Garrick.

Oh! a maid is sometimes charming, but a widow all the while.

—Anonymous.

Disguise our bondage as we will,’Tis woman, woman rules us still.—Moore.

Disguise our bondage as we will,’Tis woman, woman rules us still.

Disguise our bondage as we will,

’Tis woman, woman rules us still.

—Moore.

April FifthOne husband is worth two good wives: for the scarcer things are, the more they’re valued.—Benjamin Franklin.April SixthI, Dionysius of Tarsus, lie here at sixty, having never married; and would that my father had not.—Greek Epitaph.April SeventhOnce you are married there is nothing left for you, not even suicide, but to be good.—Robert Louis Stevenson.April Eighth“Didn’t you do well by your second marriage?”“Oh, yes indeed; the clothes of my wife’s first husband just fit me!”—Danbury News Man.

One husband is worth two good wives: for the scarcer things are, the more they’re valued.

—Benjamin Franklin.

I, Dionysius of Tarsus, lie here at sixty, having never married; and would that my father had not.

—Greek Epitaph.

Once you are married there is nothing left for you, not even suicide, but to be good.

—Robert Louis Stevenson.

“Didn’t you do well by your second marriage?”

“Oh, yes indeed; the clothes of my wife’s first husband just fit me!”

—Danbury News Man.

April NinthThe lachrymose widow is one of those clinging vines that always gets there.—Dorothy Dix.April Tenth“Of course I am a widow. Sure, that poor little insignificant crayther of a husband is not worth mentioning.”—Irish Life.April EleventhOld friend—“Was your daughter’s marriage a success?”Hostess—“Oh, a great success! She’s traveling in Europe on the alimony.”—New York Weekly.April Twelfth“No other man can ever fill poor John’s place. I loved him from the bottom of my heart.”“Of course; but you know there is always room at the top.”—Chicago Daily News.

The lachrymose widow is one of those clinging vines that always gets there.

—Dorothy Dix.

“Of course I am a widow. Sure, that poor little insignificant crayther of a husband is not worth mentioning.”

—Irish Life.

Old friend—“Was your daughter’s marriage a success?”

Hostess—“Oh, a great success! She’s traveling in Europe on the alimony.”

—New York Weekly.

“No other man can ever fill poor John’s place. I loved him from the bottom of my heart.”

“Of course; but you know there is always room at the top.”

—Chicago Daily News.

April ThirteenthA different cause, says Parson Sly,The same effect may give.Poor Lubin fears that he shall die,His wife—that he may live.—Poor Richard’s Almanac.April Fourteenth“There is more to be learned from one widow than from a whole Smithsonian museum of anthropology.”April FifteenthFijjit—“The widow says that her marriage to Gobang was secret.”Ijjit—“It must have been. Gobang himself did not mention a widow in his will, so he could not have known of the wedding.”—Life.April Sixteenth“Widows, gentlemen, are not usually timorous, as my uncle used to say.”—Dickens.

A different cause, says Parson Sly,The same effect may give.Poor Lubin fears that he shall die,His wife—that he may live.—Poor Richard’s Almanac.

A different cause, says Parson Sly,The same effect may give.Poor Lubin fears that he shall die,His wife—that he may live.

A different cause, says Parson Sly,

The same effect may give.

Poor Lubin fears that he shall die,

His wife—that he may live.

—Poor Richard’s Almanac.

“There is more to be learned from one widow than from a whole Smithsonian museum of anthropology.”

Fijjit—“The widow says that her marriage to Gobang was secret.”

Ijjit—“It must have been. Gobang himself did not mention a widow in his will, so he could not have known of the wedding.”

—Life.

“Widows, gentlemen, are not usually timorous, as my uncle used to say.”

—Dickens.

April SeventeenthThe good widow’s sorrow is no storm, but a still rain.—Fuller.April EighteenthA woman deserted by one man has no remedy but to appeal to twelve.—Jerrold.April NineteenthAt the prospect of a cosy separation society would reach at last the condition of Rome as described by Seneca, when women computed their ages by the number of their husbands instead of by the years they had lived.—Matthews.April Twentieth“Jerome speaks of witnessing the funeral of a woman who was followed by her twenty-second husband to the grave, she having been his twenty-first wife.”

The good widow’s sorrow is no storm, but a still rain.

—Fuller.

A woman deserted by one man has no remedy but to appeal to twelve.

—Jerrold.

At the prospect of a cosy separation society would reach at last the condition of Rome as described by Seneca, when women computed their ages by the number of their husbands instead of by the years they had lived.

—Matthews.

“Jerome speaks of witnessing the funeral of a woman who was followed by her twenty-second husband to the grave, she having been his twenty-first wife.”

April Twenty-firstIf you want a neat wife, choose her on a Saturday.—Poor Richard’s Almanac.April Twenty-secondShe—“They are the most wonderful compositions in the language.”He—“They don’t compare with Jack Harvey’s. Why, he wrote a letter of condolence to a widow and she took off her mourning immediately.”—Life.April Twenty-thirdDrying a widow’s tears is one of the most dangerous occupations known to man.—Dorothy Dix.April Twenty-fourthI told Martin when we’d first come to London, that I must see the Widder Albert whilst I was there.—Josiah Allen’s Wife

If you want a neat wife, choose her on a Saturday.

—Poor Richard’s Almanac.

She—“They are the most wonderful compositions in the language.”

He—“They don’t compare with Jack Harvey’s. Why, he wrote a letter of condolence to a widow and she took off her mourning immediately.”

—Life.

Drying a widow’s tears is one of the most dangerous occupations known to man.

—Dorothy Dix.

I told Martin when we’d first come to London, that I must see the Widder Albert whilst I was there.

—Josiah Allen’s Wife

April Twenty-fifth“Doctor, do you think my wife will recover?”“Oh, yes! I told her I already had a wife picked out for you in case she didn’t get well.”—Life.April Twenty-sixthKeep your eyes open before marriage; half shut afterwards.—Poor Richard’s Almanac.April Twenty-seventhWidow—“Yes, I have cremated three husbands.”Old maid—“It seems unfair. Here I’ve lived all these years and never have been able to get married to one man and you’ve had husbands to burn.”—Chauncey M. Depew’s Story.April Twenty-eighth“Better to have loved extensively than never to have loved at all.”

“Doctor, do you think my wife will recover?”

“Oh, yes! I told her I already had a wife picked out for you in case she didn’t get well.”

—Life.

Keep your eyes open before marriage; half shut afterwards.

—Poor Richard’s Almanac.

Widow—“Yes, I have cremated three husbands.”

Old maid—“It seems unfair. Here I’ve lived all these years and never have been able to get married to one man and you’ve had husbands to burn.”

—Chauncey M. Depew’s Story.

“Better to have loved extensively than never to have loved at all.”

April Twenty-ninthAgent—“Isn’t this stone a trifle small for a man of your husband’s prominence?”Widow—“No, sir! If Thomas thought a stone like that was good enough for his first wife, I guess it’s plenty good enough for Thomas.”—Life.April ThirtiethYou can’t talk to a remarried woman at a dinner party about her first husband, especially if one of her subsequent husbands is present.—Edward Stanton Martin.

Agent—“Isn’t this stone a trifle small for a man of your husband’s prominence?”

Widow—“No, sir! If Thomas thought a stone like that was good enough for his first wife, I guess it’s plenty good enough for Thomas.”

—Life.

You can’t talk to a remarried woman at a dinner party about her first husband, especially if one of her subsequent husbands is present.

—Edward Stanton Martin.

May FirstDivorce is the spice of life.—Life.May Second“We hated to tell you, but your drowned husband’s body has been found and it is covered with eels.”“Well,” sighed the widow, drying her eyes, “set him again.”—Chauncey M. Depew’s Story.May ThirdSt. Peter (to first applicant)—“Were you married while on earth?”First Applicant—“I was; twice.”St. Peter—“Walk in. You deserve it.”—The Wasp.May FourthThe turf has drunk a widow’s tear,Three of her husbands slumber here.—Epitaph at Staffordshire.

Divorce is the spice of life.

—Life.

“We hated to tell you, but your drowned husband’s body has been found and it is covered with eels.”

“Well,” sighed the widow, drying her eyes, “set him again.”

—Chauncey M. Depew’s Story.

St. Peter (to first applicant)—“Were you married while on earth?”

First Applicant—“I was; twice.”

St. Peter—“Walk in. You deserve it.”

—The Wasp.

The turf has drunk a widow’s tear,Three of her husbands slumber here.—Epitaph at Staffordshire.

The turf has drunk a widow’s tear,Three of her husbands slumber here.

The turf has drunk a widow’s tear,

Three of her husbands slumber here.

—Epitaph at Staffordshire.

May FifthBehold I have commanded a widow woman there to sustain thee.—I Kings xvii:9.May SixthShe—“Should you die, are you opposed to my remarrying?”He—“No. Why should I be solicitous about the welfare of a fellow I’ll never know?”—Life.May Seventh“Why did he get a divorce from his wife?”“She named the baby after the first husband.”—Life.May EighthI asked her (who had buried twelve husbands): “At what time of life do you think the married state ceases to be preferable?”She replied: “You must ask somebody older than I am.”—Josh Billings.

Behold I have commanded a widow woman there to sustain thee.

—I Kings xvii:9.

She—“Should you die, are you opposed to my remarrying?”

He—“No. Why should I be solicitous about the welfare of a fellow I’ll never know?”

—Life.

“Why did he get a divorce from his wife?”

“She named the baby after the first husband.”

—Life.

I asked her (who had buried twelve husbands): “At what time of life do you think the married state ceases to be preferable?”

She replied: “You must ask somebody older than I am.”

—Josh Billings.

May NinthA widow is like a frigate of which the first captain has been shipwrecked.—Alphonse Karr.May TenthWidowhood is true freedom.—Mme. des Jardins.May Eleventh“So Mrs. Gaylord insists on a separation?”“Yes. She didn’t mind his neglect, but whenever he was a little good to her he was so very virtuous about it that she just couldn’t stand it.”—Harper’s Bazar.May TwelfthEasy-crying widows take new husbands soonest; there is nothing like wet weather for transplanting.—Oliver Wendell Holmes.

A widow is like a frigate of which the first captain has been shipwrecked.

—Alphonse Karr.

Widowhood is true freedom.

—Mme. des Jardins.

“So Mrs. Gaylord insists on a separation?”

“Yes. She didn’t mind his neglect, but whenever he was a little good to her he was so very virtuous about it that she just couldn’t stand it.”

—Harper’s Bazar.

Easy-crying widows take new husbands soonest; there is nothing like wet weather for transplanting.

—Oliver Wendell Holmes.

May ThirteenthMrs. Henpeck—“Now, suppose I should die.”Mr. Henpeck—“Good heavens! Is there any doubt about it?”—Life.May FourteenthThere are four hundred and fifty Revolutionary widows left. Here is a chance now for those men who pant for a wife of the good old days.—Danbury News Man.May FifteenthNever marry a widow unless her first husband was hanged.—Proverb.May SixteenthWidows secretly rejoice in the admiration of men, but indulge themselves in no further consequences.—Addison.

Mrs. Henpeck—“Now, suppose I should die.”

Mr. Henpeck—“Good heavens! Is there any doubt about it?”

—Life.

There are four hundred and fifty Revolutionary widows left. Here is a chance now for those men who pant for a wife of the good old days.

—Danbury News Man.

Never marry a widow unless her first husband was hanged.

—Proverb.

Widows secretly rejoice in the admiration of men, but indulge themselves in no further consequences.

—Addison.

Widows are a study you will never be proficient in.—Fielding.

Widows are a study you will never be proficient in.

—Fielding.

May SeventeenthWomen who have been happy in a first marriage are most apt to venture upon a second.—Addison.May EighteenthWere I not resolved against the yokeOf hapless marriage never to be curs’dWith second love, so fatal was the first,To this one error I might yield again.—Dryden.May NineteenthHow blessings brighten as they take their flight!—Young.May TwentiethFrom thousands of our undone widows, one may derive some wit.—Thomas Middleton.

Women who have been happy in a first marriage are most apt to venture upon a second.

—Addison.

Were I not resolved against the yokeOf hapless marriage never to be curs’dWith second love, so fatal was the first,To this one error I might yield again.—Dryden.

Were I not resolved against the yokeOf hapless marriage never to be curs’dWith second love, so fatal was the first,To this one error I might yield again.

Were I not resolved against the yoke

Of hapless marriage never to be curs’d

With second love, so fatal was the first,

To this one error I might yield again.

—Dryden.

How blessings brighten as they take their flight!

—Young.

From thousands of our undone widows, one may derive some wit.

—Thomas Middleton.

May Twenty-firstFor I have buried three husbands beside this man; and now I am no’ sure of no nother husband; and therefore ye may be sure I have great cause to be sad and heavy.—Hazlitt.May Twenty-secondHere lies my wife: here let her lie!Now she’s at rest, and so am I.—Dryden.May Twenty-thirdHer waist was ampler than her life, for life is but a span.—O. W. Holmes.May Twenty-fourthHere’s to the maiden of bashful fifteen;Here’s to the widow of fifty.—Sheridan.

For I have buried three husbands beside this man; and now I am no’ sure of no nother husband; and therefore ye may be sure I have great cause to be sad and heavy.

—Hazlitt.

Here lies my wife: here let her lie!Now she’s at rest, and so am I.—Dryden.

Here lies my wife: here let her lie!Now she’s at rest, and so am I.

Here lies my wife: here let her lie!

Now she’s at rest, and so am I.

—Dryden.

Her waist was ampler than her life, for life is but a span.

—O. W. Holmes.

Here’s to the maiden of bashful fifteen;Here’s to the widow of fifty.—Sheridan.

Here’s to the maiden of bashful fifteen;Here’s to the widow of fifty.

Here’s to the maiden of bashful fifteen;

Here’s to the widow of fifty.

—Sheridan.

May Twenty-fifthA Brookfield woman was completely unmanned by the loss of her husband.—Danbury News Man.May Twenty-sixthWomen have a special antipathy to the blond widow, and when one crosses their path they sit down and throw up their hands and give up the game.—Dorothy Dix.May Twenty-seventhWhy is a garden’s wildered mazeLike a young widow, fresh and fair?Because it wants some hand to raiseThe weeds which have no business there.—T. Moore.May Twenty-eighthFortune is like a widow won,And truckles to the bold alone.—Somerville.

A Brookfield woman was completely unmanned by the loss of her husband.

—Danbury News Man.

Women have a special antipathy to the blond widow, and when one crosses their path they sit down and throw up their hands and give up the game.

—Dorothy Dix.

Why is a garden’s wildered mazeLike a young widow, fresh and fair?Because it wants some hand to raiseThe weeds which have no business there.—T. Moore.

Why is a garden’s wildered mazeLike a young widow, fresh and fair?Because it wants some hand to raiseThe weeds which have no business there.

Why is a garden’s wildered maze

Like a young widow, fresh and fair?

Because it wants some hand to raise

The weeds which have no business there.

—T. Moore.

Fortune is like a widow won,And truckles to the bold alone.—Somerville.

Fortune is like a widow won,And truckles to the bold alone.

Fortune is like a widow won,

And truckles to the bold alone.

—Somerville.

May Twenty-ninth“Suppose,” said a friend who had been reading Enoch Arden, “that you went away on a sea voyage and came back and found that your wife had married another man?”“That’s an absurd proposition. Henrietta would never be so careless as to let me go away on a sea voyage.”—Washington Star.May ThirtiethAn Atchison girl will marry a widower with five hand-me-down children.—Atchison Globe.May Thirty-firstA widow is a woman who has buried her husband; a grass widow is one who has simply mislaid hers.—Will M. Clemens.

“Suppose,” said a friend who had been reading Enoch Arden, “that you went away on a sea voyage and came back and found that your wife had married another man?”

“That’s an absurd proposition. Henrietta would never be so careless as to let me go away on a sea voyage.”

—Washington Star.

An Atchison girl will marry a widower with five hand-me-down children.

—Atchison Globe.

A widow is a woman who has buried her husband; a grass widow is one who has simply mislaid hers.

—Will M. Clemens.

June FirstYet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.—Luke xviii:5.June SecondNot even the immense labor of assimilating a new spouse’s relatives, appalling as it is, should hinder second marriages.—Edward Stanton Martin.June ThirdThe rich widow cries with one eye and rejoices with the other.—Cervantes.June Fourth“There is one thing about my first husband I shall always respect him for,” she said.“What is that?”“He paid all the expenses of our divorce like a perfect gentleman.”—Life.

Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.

—Luke xviii:5.

Not even the immense labor of assimilating a new spouse’s relatives, appalling as it is, should hinder second marriages.

—Edward Stanton Martin.

The rich widow cries with one eye and rejoices with the other.

—Cervantes.

“There is one thing about my first husband I shall always respect him for,” she said.

“What is that?”

“He paid all the expenses of our divorce like a perfect gentleman.”

—Life.

June FifthHe that marries a widow and three daughters has three back doors to his house.—Spanish Proverb.June SixthHe that wooes a maid must never come in sight,But he that wooes a widow, must woo her day and night.—English Proverb.June SeventhIn appearance the widow is extremely attractive, being smooth and sleek, of a jet black color, with snow white collar. It also possesses a most melodious purr, and though it has extra sharp claws, these are seldom visible.—Dorothy Dix.June EighthMrs. Manhattan—“The thirteenth husband is sure to be unlucky.”Mrs. Lakeside (pensively)—“I’ll have to skip that number and marry twins.”—New York Herald.

He that marries a widow and three daughters has three back doors to his house.

—Spanish Proverb.

He that wooes a maid must never come in sight,But he that wooes a widow, must woo her day and night.—English Proverb.

He that wooes a maid must never come in sight,But he that wooes a widow, must woo her day and night.

He that wooes a maid must never come in sight,

But he that wooes a widow, must woo her day and night.

—English Proverb.

In appearance the widow is extremely attractive, being smooth and sleek, of a jet black color, with snow white collar. It also possesses a most melodious purr, and though it has extra sharp claws, these are seldom visible.

—Dorothy Dix.

Mrs. Manhattan—“The thirteenth husband is sure to be unlucky.”

Mrs. Lakeside (pensively)—“I’ll have to skip that number and marry twins.”

—New York Herald.

June NinthMisfortunes never come single; sometimes they come married.—Life.June Tenth“Doctor, I can’t get it out of my head that possibly my poor husband was buried alive.”“Nonsense,” snorted Dr. Peduncle, “didn’t I attend him myself in his last illness?”—Life.June EleventhScarcely less to be feared by the prudent, is the species of this interesting animal, which is known as the domestic widow.—Dorothy Dix.June TwelfthLittle Clara (in an audible whisper)—“O nurse! I wish I had been born a widow instead of an orphan!”—Harper’s Monthly

Misfortunes never come single; sometimes they come married.

—Life.

“Doctor, I can’t get it out of my head that possibly my poor husband was buried alive.”

“Nonsense,” snorted Dr. Peduncle, “didn’t I attend him myself in his last illness?”

—Life.

Scarcely less to be feared by the prudent, is the species of this interesting animal, which is known as the domestic widow.

—Dorothy Dix.

Little Clara (in an audible whisper)—“O nurse! I wish I had been born a widow instead of an orphan!”

—Harper’s Monthly

June ThirteenthYoung widows are always charming.—Stowe.June FourteenthSurely any good man who has one wife already would stay at home till moss accumulated on his scalp, rather than go gadding and take the chance of running against his affinity.—Edward Stanton Martin.June FifteenthWhen a man is chased by a determined widow, it is a mere waste of shoe leather to run away from it.—Dorothy Dix.June SixteenthYou can’t imagine, sir, what ’tis to have to do with a widow.—Addison.

Young widows are always charming.

—Stowe.

Surely any good man who has one wife already would stay at home till moss accumulated on his scalp, rather than go gadding and take the chance of running against his affinity.

—Edward Stanton Martin.

When a man is chased by a determined widow, it is a mere waste of shoe leather to run away from it.

—Dorothy Dix.

You can’t imagine, sir, what ’tis to have to do with a widow.

—Addison.

June SeventeenthWhat objections there are to second marriages are almost exclusively sentimental.—Edward Stanton Martin.June EighteenthMiss Jones (to Mr. Brown who has survived three wives)—“They must get kind o’ mixed up in heaven with so many Mrs. Browns about.”Mr. Brown—“Oh, no, I calculate not! You see they’re all different shades of Brown.”—Life.June NineteenthThe chief characteristic of the widow is its skill in bringing down its game.—Dorothy Dix.June Twentieth“For patient resignation, that widow lying there a corpse could dance all ’round any woman living.”—Danbury News Man.

What objections there are to second marriages are almost exclusively sentimental.

—Edward Stanton Martin.

Miss Jones (to Mr. Brown who has survived three wives)—“They must get kind o’ mixed up in heaven with so many Mrs. Browns about.”

Mr. Brown—“Oh, no, I calculate not! You see they’re all different shades of Brown.”

—Life.

The chief characteristic of the widow is its skill in bringing down its game.

—Dorothy Dix.

“For patient resignation, that widow lying there a corpse could dance all ’round any woman living.”

—Danbury News Man.

June Twenty-firstBy taking a second wife man pays the highest compliment to the first.—Johnson.June Twenty-secondFor many persons who have lost their mates prematurely, it is far better to find a new one, if that is possible, than to go through life alone.—Edward Stanton Martin.June Twenty-thirdAnd I caused the widow’s heart to sing for joy.—Job xxix:13.June Twenty-fourthIf you are an unsophisticated widow—one whose husband is just dead—you will find that you can remain in your own home sixty days without paying rent.—Stowe.

By taking a second wife man pays the highest compliment to the first.

—Johnson.

For many persons who have lost their mates prematurely, it is far better to find a new one, if that is possible, than to go through life alone.

—Edward Stanton Martin.

And I caused the widow’s heart to sing for joy.

—Job xxix:13.

If you are an unsophisticated widow—one whose husband is just dead—you will find that you can remain in your own home sixty days without paying rent.

—Stowe.

June Twenty-fifthI don’t feel at all sentimental;For women I care not a rap,But give me a jolly and gentleRich widow in weeds and a cap.—Strong.June Twenty-sixthWhen they deal directly with widows, they want a class that knows nothing of business.—Stowe.June Twenty-seventhThen let him write her a bill of divorcement and give it in her hand and send her out of his house.—Deut. xxiv:1.June Twenty-eighth“Ah, sweetest one, may I be your captain and guide your bark down the sea of life?”“No. But you can be my second mate.”—Exchange.

I don’t feel at all sentimental;For women I care not a rap,But give me a jolly and gentleRich widow in weeds and a cap.—Strong.

I don’t feel at all sentimental;For women I care not a rap,But give me a jolly and gentleRich widow in weeds and a cap.

I don’t feel at all sentimental;

For women I care not a rap,

But give me a jolly and gentle

Rich widow in weeds and a cap.

—Strong.

When they deal directly with widows, they want a class that knows nothing of business.

—Stowe.

Then let him write her a bill of divorcement and give it in her hand and send her out of his house.

—Deut. xxiv:1.

“Ah, sweetest one, may I be your captain and guide your bark down the sea of life?”

“No. But you can be my second mate.”

—Exchange.

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